New Year, New You

by Tarrah Anders

  room is a smallish tree, a Christmas tree. Tears fall from my eyes as strong arms envelope me from behind. I wipe my

  face and turn around in his embrace. My head rests on his

  chest, as I smell him in he holds me tighter. He smells like pine and honey, I breathe in the scent and smile.

  “Merry Christmas eve.” He says quietly.

  “Thank you. Merry Christmas Eve to you too.”

  “It’s the first of many baby.” He says kissing my

  head.

  Confused with his statement, I choose to ignore it

  and not dwell on what could be as the front door opens again and Mindy strolls into the kitchen are where we’re standing together.

  “Oh crap. I was hoping you were still asleep.” She says putting the box she was carrying down a few feet away from us.

  “What’s that?” I ask.

  “Well, we were going to decorate this tree so when

  you woke up it would look gaudy and marvelous at the same

  time. But now, you can help us.” She smiles kicking at the box.

  “What the Grinch is saying is that I wanted you to

  wake up to a decorated tree.” Gabe smiles releasing me and picking up the box. He sets it on the counter and begins

  going through it.

  “You still had these?” He asks his sister pulling out

  an ornament with macaroni and a picture in the middle.

  “Some things aren’t meant to get thrown away. I

  stashed those when mom and dad were trying to toss

  everything and downsize.” She shakes her head as she steps closer, she grabs the homemade ornament and smiles, then

  hands it to me.

  The picture is of a young boy, who I am assuming is

  Gabe, by the dark chestnut colored hair and his jawline. He had freckles as a child and in this picture he’s missing his two front teeth. I smile as I hand it back over to her. She then hands me another photo of a young girl, in pigtails and a frilly neckline.

  “Our mother liked to dress me up as a doll for

  picture day.” She explains.

  “And for holidays.” Gabe chimes in.

  I smile, choking back emotions while looking at their childhood mementos. Curious as to where my parents

  hid any of these types of things from my youth, I don’t recall seeing any as I was going through my parents things. My

  brain starts working in overdrive as my memories come to

  front. It’s like flashbacks flashing places of the home that I’m standing in. I feel like I’m playing a first person video game as the final image is of a box that’s on a shelf in one of the garage cabinets.

  My feet begin walking on their own accord and then

  next thing I know, I’m standing in front of the very same

  cabinet. I open the doors with my hands shaking and peer up.

  I see the weathered box and a satisfying smile unfolds as I lean up on my tip-toes, however the box is too far out of my grasp. Long arms are reaching around me for the box as I

  step aside.

  Gabe looks over at me and smiles. “This box?” He

  asks as his fingers grip the bottom edges. I nod my head

  excitedly as he pulls it down from the shelf.

  Sure enough, my mother’s handwriting is on top of the box, detailing all the items within the box. I fight the tears that want to pull to the surface over just seeing her handwriting, and open the box. The first thing that I see if an exact copy of the homemade ornaments from Gabe and Mindy’s

  childhood, but with my picture. I smile and hand it to Gabe.

  “No shit! So then, making this ornament is not

  something that was an original idea is what you’re trying to say to me?” He jokes as he hands it back to me.

  He bends to pick up the box and we go back to

  where we were originally standing. Mindy is shifting

  through the box that she brought, as Gabe puts my box

  besides hers.

  “What’s this?” She asks diverting her attention to the new box appearing by her side.

  “This is all my childhood holiday things. I

  remembered that my mom had kept all this stuff in the

  garage.” I smile.

  She digs through my box and pulls out more

  homemade ornaments from over the years and laughs.

  “Oh my goodness. It’s like the Eighties threw up

  between these two boxes. But there are some serious

  memories here. I think it’s up to you two on how this tree is supposed to look.” She says looking back and forth between us.

  “Let’s let the Eighties throw up on it this year. A

  little nostalgia never hurt anyone.” I say proudly.

  “Say that to Keith Richards and Mick Jagger, I think

  those two are still clinging to their younger days.” Gabe

  snorts.

  “And Hugh Hefner. Can’t forget about that guy.”

  Mindy laughs.

  We start decorating the tree and by the time we’ve

  finished, the tree does look like a tree from my childhood, gaudy and perfect. We all take a step back together and

  review our work with our hands on our hips.

  “I think this is actually the first time since I moved

  away from home that I’ve had a real tree, or hell even a

  tree.” I say finally after several moments of staring at the gaudy mess of beautifulness.

  “Same here. When I lived in France, it was always a

  fake four footer at the most.” Gabe responds siding up with me and putting his arm around my shoulders.

  This. This feels like Christmas. I think to myself happily sighing into his touch.

  Gabe was full of surprises on Christmas Eve, he

  took me across the Coronado Bridge to the Hotel Del, where they have an outdoor ice rink right on the beach. I grew up in San Diego and I don’t recall ever making it over to this area during the holidays. We went ice skating, where I fell

  several times that by the end of the day. After I feel like I broke my ass, Gabe surprised me with a living room full of roses with some chilled champagne on the kitchen counter in a bucket with the Marriott logo on it. I snicker as I trace the logo and look at him with a quirked eyebrow.

  “They over charged me, the room that I stayed in

  was hardly worth what I paid for it.” He laughs.

  “So clearly, steal their property.” I joke.

  “Clearly.” He pulls me to him. “We’re having dinner

  tonight with Mindy and Dave. Tomorrow, we’ll do presents

  and breakfast with them, if you would like and then

  whatever you want for the remainder of the day.” Gabe

  informs me.

  “That sounds great actually.” I admit with a lazy

  smile.

  “Oh and I think that I would like to fuck you at least

  three times as well.”

  “Just three times?” I tease.

  “At least. At least three times.” He kisses the tip of

  my nose.

  We went to sushi and drank a little too much sake

  before heading home to relieve Mindy and Dave’s babysitter for the night. As we departed, Mindy pulled me into a hug. It was unlike any hug that she’s ever given me since I’ve

  known her, she whispered a thank you to me before letting me go with tears in her eyes.

  Unsure how to fully process that, I smiled and then

  we went our separate ways. The aroma of roses engulfed all my senses as I walked into the house. I smiled as I put down my purse and sought out Gabe.

  I found him in the master bathroom, sitting on the

  edge of the bath tub with the water running. He didn’t notice me in the doorway for a moment as he tested the waters and added bubbles. He’s calm and studying the water, with his

  hand wading thr
ough testing the temperature. When he

  finally saw me, he gives me a lopsided smile.

  “I think it’s safe to say that both of us can fit in

  here.”

  “Oh really? I thought you said that you don’t take

  baths?” I tease.

  “Normally, I don’t. I’ll make an exception this once though, after all it’s Christmas Eve.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  “Yeah.” He smiles.

  I start disrobing with his eyes on me and his mouth

  dropped open as he takes in my Christmas themed bra and

  panties. I had a moment to change quickly after ice skating and I was hoping that I would get a chance to have him see the candy canes and lace that’s adorning my body.

  With full appreciation, he licks his lips and begins

  disrobing as well. I slink into the tub and prepare myself for when he steps in behind me. Sitting in between his legs and against him is a tight fit, but it’s not too uncomfortable. I relax into him as his arms go around me, covering my arms.

  We sit in complete silence except for the dripping from the faucet as his fingers trail patterns against my skin.

  “It’s almost midnight.” His husky voice says against

  the top of my head.

  “Is it? I hadn’t noticed, we’ve had a busy day.”

  “It’s… 11:58 to be exact.”

  “Almost Christmas.”

  “Almost Christmas.” He repeats.

  I sigh, attempt to sink lower to relax into him and

  smile.

  “I love you Ness.” He says into my hair.

  Goosebumps immediately spring to my skin, my heart flutters and I feel like I’ve stopped breathing.

  “I -.” I begin.

  “I’m not finished.” I can feel his heart beat rapidly

  against my back. “I was offered every job that I interviewed for, but the job that I was holding out for was one that I interviewed for a few days ago.”

  My stomach dipped, and tears were starting to form.

  I was holding my breath now for heartache.

  C H A P T E R

  Eighteen

  He takes a deep breath and continues to talk. I’m

  holding my breath, trying my hardest to keep the tears at

  bay.

  “One of the job interviews in Los Angeles was for a

  company, here in San Diego. They hired me on the spot, and I accepted. Now that I found you, I’m not leaving you. I

  couldn’t stand to leave you.” He kisses the side of my head again.

  I turn as much as I can in the confined space we’re

  in. When my teary eyes meet his, I see a mixture of

  nervousness and happiness in his eyes. My lips are

  quivering, fearing that I’m going to start blubbering like a complete fool, instead I grab his face and bring his to mine.

  “I love you too.” I whisper into the kiss.

  We get carried away in the water as I attempt to

  straddle him. Water laps over the edges and I feel Gabe

  lengthening the more heated the kiss gets.

  He pulls back and then I feel his leg moving. “We’re

  getting out of this tub. I can’t do the things that I want to do

  to you in such a confined space.” The water begins draining and Gabe continues kissing me until all the water is gone.

  We stand up and grab towels, quickly drying off, he grabs

  my towel and drapes it on the towel rack and then pulls me out to the bedroom.

  “We’ve got a lot to discuss, but right now there’s

  nothing more that I want to do than make love to you.” He

  whispers pulling me into an embrace.

  And we did just that. Twice.

  “You spent two days with me, without telling me

  about the job.” I pout.

  “I got the interview date while we were in New York

  actually. I finished my interview and had a voice mail from them. Once I called them, I knew that this would be the one.

  I wanted to tell you as soon as it happened truthfully, but I thought it would be something pretty awesome to tell you on Christmas, it just was perfect timing that we were still

  awake.”

  “You have truly made this Christmas much better

  than I was anticipating.” I say.

  I was dreading how this holiday would end up as soon as we made plans for the New York trip and especially since this is the first one where I knew that my family wouldn’t be

  around for.

  “There’s so much to plan.” I say excitedly.

  “We have all the time in the world.” He says as his

  hand runs the length up and down my back.

  “I guess I should properly ask you to move in.” I

  smile against his chest.

  “I think that can be arranged. Would you be against

  renovating the place? Making it something that’s more ours than your parents? Or shit, I’m sorry - that’s asking a lot.”

  “No, no that’s totally okay, I was gonna ask if you

  maybe wanted to look for another place, that my parents’

  house would be too weird for you.”

  “Not at all, it’s a home. And it’s your home more

  importantly. A place that’s close to my sister and also with enough space to maybe start our own family someday.” His

  arm tightens around me.

  “Okay.” I squeak out, not expecting him to mention

  the thought of starting our own family, so soon.

  “I know, we haven’t known each other long, but

  when you know you know.” He says as if he is reading my

  mind.

  “I know.”

  “Do you know that you know, or do you just know.”

  “I think I know. Do you know?”

  “I know now that I’m extremely confused by this

  conversation.” He laughs.

  “Me too. Does your sister know?” I ask.

  “No, I wanted you to be the first person to know.”

  He smiles while looking down at me.

  “I kinda want to wake them up and tell them.” I

  giggle.

  “Let’s enjoy this before we let the crazy in on the

  news. I have a feeling that my sister may scream like a

  banshee.”

  “First thing I want to do is get a new bed. I think we

  need a smaller bed.” Gabe says with humor laced in his

  voice.

  “Smaller? Are you kidding me? This bed is too

  small, I want a much bigger bed. You hog most of the bed as it is.”

  “Babe, the bigger the bed, and the further apart we

  sleep.”

  “As sappy and romantic as that sounds, no.” I say

  with finality in my voice.

  “A bigger bed won’t fit in this bedroom babe.” He

  says pointing out the obvious, looking around the space.

  “Then we move into the master bedroom.” I say

  after a moment’s hesitation.

  “We don’t have to.”

  “No, we’re going to make this our home, if that’s

  what you want.”

  “Anywhere with you would be home.” He says moving over me and peppering my neck and shoulder with

  open mouthed kisses.

  We soon fell asleep and are woken up at first

  sunlight by my cell phone blaring with text messages. I roll over groggily and see that my old roommate had texted me

  with the standard mass text that’s sent out by people on

  holidays. Immediately, guilt surfaced realizing that it’s been months since I’ve spoken with her in anything other than

  text messages. I punch out a quick message also indicating we need to catch up and then roll over and throw my arm

  gently across Gabe’s stomac
h. His stomach tightens at the

  touch, but then relaxes within seconds.

  Gabe’s cell phone decides to chime on his side of the

  bed immediately, alerting him awake. His arm moves to the

  side table as he grabs the phone and with one eye open he

  checks the message.

  “People shouldn’t be up this early.” He grumbles.

  “Mindy?” I ask.

  “Yeah. She’s telling us that they’re waiting on us

  and to hurry.”

  “Kids, Christmas is for the kids. Stella has probably

  been up for a bit.” I slowly sit up, covering my naked chest with the sheet.

  Gabe pulls at the sheet with his finger playfully as I

  bat his hand away. He pouts and then slowly sits up too and runs his hand over his face.

  “Let’s throw on something appropriate and head

  over. The luxury of living next door to family.” He smiles.

  Minutes later, we’re walking into the foyer of Mindy and Dave’s home to the smell and sounds of bacon cooking

  with gifts in each our arms. We find everyone in the kitchen, Dave sitting at the breakfast bar and Stella and Mindy

  standing at the stove, Stella standing on a stool with a

  spatula in her hand.

  “Santa brought Bean her own cooking set to help out

  in the kitchen, she’s already putting it to good use.” Dave explains as we side up to him.

  “Santa came! Santa Came!” Stella yells as she turns

  around and jumps off the stool. She proudly holds up her

  spatula with eggs on it.

  “Wow! That’s so cool!” I exclaim.

  “How do you want your eggs?” She asks Gabe.

  “Over-Easy.” He smiles.

  “Scrambled it is.” She laughs and we all join her as

  she turns around to get back to the stove with Mindy.

  After breakfast is plated and we’re all eating, Stella

  excitedly talks about all the different meals she wants to make, some of them are completely made up including

  unicorn tears and a sprinkle of chicken feathers, but the

  imagination of a five year old is endless and as a group we entertain her ideas.

  Stella is so excited to start opening presents that

  she’s the first finished eating and rushes everyone else along.

  Finally, as we sit in the living room in front of the tree, Gabe takes the position of handing the presents, the majority of them for Stella. One by one she tears apart wrapping paper