Sleep No More

by Iris Johansen

  “I’ve been worse.” He smiled slightly. “But if I do pass out, you’ve got to promise that you’ll take care of Beth for me. I promised Uncle Hermie that she’d come out of this okay.”

  “Is that the only reason?”

  “No, I like her.” He chuckled. “And I’ve no ambition to be the prince who battles through the thorns to save her.”

  “Yet you already have.”

  “Yeah, I guess so.” He tilted his head. “But I feel more like she’s my sister. I’d do it for a sister. Would you?”

  She didn’t answer. “She said that she didn’t know anything about her mother. But your uncle told you about Sandra. You didn’t mention it to Beth?”

  He shook his head. “You have no idea how little time we had for small talk.”

  “Hardly small talk,” Eve said dryly.

  “It was for me. Everything I did, everything I said, was aimed at getting her off the drugs, clearing her mind so that she didn’t stay in that damn fog they tried to keep blowing around her. It was all present and a little future, no past. You weren’t important.”

  “I’m still not, but Sandra wouldn’t agree.” She thought of something else. “Beth calls you Billy. William is your middle name.”

  “And no one at the hospital would recognize it if she mumbled something by mistake during the time we were hiding those pills in the mattress. It protected both of us when she was still heavy into the sedatives.”

  “You thought of everything. She owes you a great deal, Newell. Does she realize that?”

  “Of course I do.” Beth was standing in the doorway with a bowl of water and a first-aid kit in her hands. “Why shouldn’t I? I’m not on those drugs any longer. I can think, I can feel. Stop talking about me as if I was that woman at Seahaven—I’m not that person any longer.” She came forward and set the bowl of water on the table beside Newell’s chair. “I won’t be her.”

  “Shh.” Newell smiled at her. “You protest too much. Of course, you’re not her. I was just telling Eve how much you’d changed.”

  “You were?” Her expression cleared, and she suddenly smiled. “I thought that I was learning and changing in the past few days, but it’s hard to know when there’s no one around that you trust to ask if it’s true.” She dipped a cloth into the water. “Now be quiet, and I’ll clean up these stitches and rebandage you.”

  “I could do it,” Eve offered.

  “Why? Because you think I can’t?” Beth was carefully cleaning the blood from around the stitches. “I took a first-aid course when I was competing at a ski competition in Switzerland before … before they took me to the hospital.”

  “And you still remember?” Eve asked.

  “I didn’t. It was only a blur. But it’s all been coming back to me for the past few days. Just bits and pieces, but the memories are as sharp as if it were yesterday.” She dried the wound, then carefully rebandaged it. “This was nothing. I remember CPR lessons and laughing at—” She broke off and stepped back. “I remember laughing a lot. Then it stopped.”

  “Do you remember a Dr. Hans Gelber?” Newell asked.

  “No. Why?”

  “He was one of your first specialists at the hospital. I was just wondering if that was about the time that you forgot the laughter.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. There were so many doctors. It doesn’t matter. I’ll know soon. It’s all coming back now.”

  “You’re wrong. I believe it may matter very much,” Eve said slowly.

  “I wasn’t talking to you.” Beth glanced at her. “And you’re looking angry again.”

  “I am angry. But not at you.”

  I remember laughing a lot. And then it stopped.

  Eve was finding those words incredibly moving. Her own life had not been filled with laughter, but her laughter had not been smothered by some doctor who had been ordered to destroy memories, and with it, a woman’s laughter. “And I think that we should hurry the process along and track down that doctor Newell mentioned.”

  * * *

  JOE SLOWED DOWN TO A CRAWL as he passed the long driveway of the estate next door to the Dendridge Tudor. It was dark, and there were several turns on the way up the hill. A good place to pull off and avoid possible scrutiny and yet be able to keep everything around him under surveillance.

  Are you up there, Drogan?

  If they’d been followed by Drogan, he could have pulled off at any of ten houses along this stretch.

  And there was no proof that they had been followed.

  No proof. But a nagging hunch that wouldn’t go away. Joe believed in hunches. They had saved his life too many times for him to ignore them. And he had felt that strong whisper of instinct the moment he had gotten out of the car back at the Tudor. That sense of being watched …

  He had thought it might be Drogan somewhere on the grounds, but that hadn’t panned out. So he had decided to explore the road behind him.

  Nothing.

  Or nothing he could see.

  He turned around and headed back toward the Tudor. He didn’t like the idea of not being with Eve when he knew that bastard was somewhere around. He’d come back later on foot and scour the neighborhood.

  He dialed Eve. “No luck. I’m on my way.” He hung up, and his gaze once more traveled down the street of luxurious homes.

  But I know you’re out there, Drogan. You can’t hide from me for long. I’ll find you.

  * * *

  “JOE’S ON HIS WAY BACK.” Eve hung up the phone and turned to Beth. “Newell doesn’t look too good. Do you have any coffee in this place?”

  “In the kitchen.” Beth headed for the door. “I’ll get it.”

  “I’ll go with you.” She said over her shoulder to Newell, “Stay where you are and rest. We’ll be right back.”

  “I’m not moving.” Newell closed his eyes. “It’s been a rough night. I deserve to relax.”

  “Yes, you do,” Beth said soberly. “I’m so sorry, Billy.”

  “No problem.” He didn’t open his eyes. “A little caffeine, and I’ll be fine.”

  “Right away,” Eve said as she followed Beth out of the room and down the hall. “I assume we can’t turn on the kitchen lights?”

  “No, but I always get the coffeemaker ready so I can have it in the evening.”

  Moonlight was streaming into the kitchen from a huge window over the sink, and Eve could see Beth hit the button on the coffeemaker and moved from the sink to the bronze thermal carafe sitting on the granite counter. “Caffeine is an essential for quality living for Joe and me. I suppose Newell is the same.”

  “I didn’t like coffee at first. But I found it gave me a little zing and kept me awake while I was studying here. They never gave it to me at the hospital, and I only drank water and Gatorade before they took me there.”

  No, Pierce had probably not wanted to mix caffeine with her drug regimen, Eve thought bitterly. “I guess you were too young to develop an addiction to coffee. I keep forgetting that you were only a teenager when you had your accident.” She paused. “What were you studying here?”

  “Everything. Billy told me to catch up and learn how the world works these days.” She made a face. “I don’t like it very much. Maybe I didn’t notice all the corruption and bad stuff that was going on when I was growing up, but it seems as if it must be worse now.”

  “Or maybe just more publicized. Media is all around us.”

  “And computers. I was surprised how easy it was to work the one in the library.” She added, “Facebook. It’s very … intimate.”

  “Only if you want it that way. Your choice. It can get in your way. It interferes with my work, so I usually ignore it.”

  “What is your work?”

  “I’m a forensic sculptor.”

  “What’s that?”

  “I reconstruct skulls. You’re not really interested in what I do, are you?”

  “I suppose not.” She took the coffee and poured it back into the carafe. “Or if
I am, it’s not because it has anything to do with you. I’m just curious. I’m curious about everything. At first, I was only doing what Billy told me to do, but the more I learned, the more I wanted to learn. It was like being … drunk.”

  “If you know how that feels, you must have been drinking more than water and Gatorade when you were a teenager.”

  “I went to parties.” She frowned. “I had a friend … She laughed a lot…” She was silent, then shook her head. “I can’t remember her name.”

  “I’m sure it will come back to you,” Eve said gently.

  “No, you’re not sure. How could you be sure when I’m not? But I think it will. I hope it will.” She took down cups from the cabinet. “It makes me angry that I can’t remember everything. I feel cheated.” She glanced at Eve. “You believe that this Dr. Gelber was responsible for making me forget things?”

  Eve nodded.

  “Drugs?”

  “Maybe partially, but I’m leaning toward hypnosis.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know if I believe in hypnosis. Do you?”

  “I don’t know everything that it can accomplish, but I do believe that hypnosis can work. Gelber is evidently a very skilled practitioner, and he spent many sessions with you.”

  “Then wouldn’t I remember him?” She shook her head. “Not if he didn’t want me to, right? But why wouldn’t he? And why would he want me to forget everything before I came to the hospital?”

  “The reason on the chart was removal of psychological trauma.”

  “Billy says that I was injured in a ski accident. What kind of psychological trauma would I get from that? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “I agree.”

  She gave Eve a disgusted look. “Is that all you’re going to say? What help are you?”

  “You said you didn’t want my help.”

  “I don’t. But you might as well be useful if you’re going to stick around for a while.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” She added quietly, “But you have to come to terms with the fact that we’ve been thrown in this brouhaha together, and we have to cooperate. You appear to have some lingering resentment toward our mother because she abandoned you. Maybe you include me under that same umbrella. I should point out that since I had no idea you even existed, that’s totally unreasonable.”

  “I don’t have to be reasonable.” Her lips tightened. “I’m mentally incompetent. Ask Pierce.”

  “Don’t give me that excuse. You can’t have it both ways, Beth.”

  “I can do whatever I want to do.” She didn’t speak for a moment as she screwed the top back on the carafe. “Okay, maybe you’re right. I’ve just realized since I’ve been out of the hospital and free how alone I’ve been all these years. I could have used a friend to help me. What do they call it? To watch my back? But no one was there. I was alone. You may not be to blame, but it’s hard for me to accept that there was no one there for me. Someone should have been there.” She impatiently shook her head. “Listen to me. I’m whining. I’ve always hated whiners.”

  Eve smiled faintly. “I believe you have cause to complain. But suppose we strike a truce. We both have a motive to get you out of this mess. Let’s work our way through it, then I’ll go away and won’t bother you again.”

  “I guess that would be okay.” She picked up the carafe and turned toward the door. Then she turned back and gazed at Eve. “But what if I don’t want you to go away then?”

  Eve blinked. “What?”

  “Never mind. That just came out. I don’t know why.” Her lips twisted. “It’s probably my lack of ‘reason’ again. Sometimes my mind is just a jumble, and I wonder if Pierce was right about my being crazy.”

  “You’re not crazy. And we all have moments of confusion and ‘jumble.’ Don’t you remember that from the time before your accident?”

  “I don’t remember much about my thought processes. I don’t remember much of anything except that I was happy most of the time. And that I always wanted to be first at everything.”

  “Competitiveness isn’t bad. It can be very healthy. And, evidently, you were pretty good at everything you did.”

  “You bet I was.” She started for the door. “But that’s in the past. I mustn’t think of that now.”

  “Why not? Why turn your back?”

  “Because it’s not healthy to—” She broke off. “It seems as if I’ve heard that before.”

  “You might have heard it. Posthypnotic suggestion?”

  “Maybe. Or just something else that doesn’t make sense.” She added fiercely, “But it doesn’t make sense for anyone to try to kill me either. Or to try to kill Billy. It shouldn’t have happened. It wasn’t right. And if you want to help me, I’ll let you do it.” She strode down the hall toward the library. “Why not?”

  Eve heard her talking to Newell as she followed her down the hall. Beth was such a combination of passion, bewilderment, and suppressed anger that it was like being next to a lightning rod during a thunderstorm. You never knew which strike was going to hit, but you were sure that one of them would. In that short conversation, Eve had learned a great deal about Beth. She had expected her to be vulnerable and weak, and she was neither. There was a fragility that was balanced by strength and intelligence. Though a few of her impulsive remarks might have been spoken by the teenager she had been before her normal life was cut short, that was to be expected. She’d had no mature experiences to hone away the rough edges and teach her discretion and diplomacy.

  Not a bad thing, Eve thought ruefully. Discretion and diplomacy were only armor, and she’d be able to get to know Beth much faster if she didn’t have them to hide behind.

  And why did she want to get to know her? A truce would surely not require it.

  It didn’t matter. No matter what resentments and complexities made up their fledgling relationship, Eve knew that she was going to be driven to explore the person that Beth had been before and after Pierce had gotten his hands on her.

  Her phone rang.

  Joe.

  “I’m parking the car down the street, so it won’t be noticed. It will take me a few minutes to get to the front door.”

  “I’ll be waiting there to unlock the door and turn off the alarm.” She hung up and turned to see Beth standing in the library doorway. “It’s only Joe. He’s on his way here.”

  Beth followed her down the hall toward the front door. “Billy called him your significant other. That means you’re not married, right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “But you sleep together and have sex?”

  “That’s right, too, but it’s considered rude to describe exactly the nature of an intimate relationship.”

  “I didn’t describe it exactly. If I had, it would have been pornographic, wouldn’t it?” She stopped at the door and punched in the security code on the panel beside it. “And I didn’t mean to be rude, I was just curious.”

  “You didn’t offend me.” She opened the front door. “I was just telling you what most people might think. You said that Billy told you that you had to catch up with what was going on in the world today.”

  “For God’s sake, it’s not as if I didn’t know about sex before the accident. After all, I wasn’t in a convent. I was just unfamiliar with the term and wanted to be sure that I had gotten it right.”

  Eve’s gaze narrowed on her face. “And perhaps you wanted me to be a little uncomfortable?”

  “Maybe.” She met her gaze. “And maybe I was jealous.”

  “What?”

  “Sex. I’ve never gone to bed with anyone. I was always into sports, and I never even dated. I thought there was plenty of time. But there wasn’t, was there?”

  Another important element of life the Beth had missed, Eve thought. “Not for the girl you were, but it’s not as if you can’t make it up. Sex isn’t only for the very young.” She grinned. “If it were, I’d be feeling pretty damn cheated myself.”

  “You like it?�
��

  Eve caught sight of Joe, who had entered the far courtyard and was walking toward the house. “Oh, yes, I like it very much indeed.”

  “I can see that you do.” Beth’s gaze was focused on Eve’s face before it shifted to Joe. “He’s very … good-looking. No, he’s just … I don’t know, but I can see why you’d want to have sex with him.”

  “I’m glad that you approve of my choice,” Eve said dryly. “Not that it matters.”

  “Would you mind if I had sex with him?”

  Eve’s eyes widened with shock. “I beg your pardon.”

  “You would mind.” She shrugged. “I just thought that it might be okay. I think I’d like it with him, too. From what I’ve been watching on TV, people seem to be having sex with everyone these days, and no one seems too bothered about it.”

  “You’ve been watching the wrong programs. There is such a thing as fidelity, Beth.”

  “Forget it. It was just a thought. Sex is probably going to be awkward for me at first, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself with a man I cared about. I thought I’d get it out of the way.”

  “Not with Joe,” Eve said firmly. “And I’d think you’d be thinking about how to keep alive instead of your first roll in the hay.”

  “I’m going to stay alive. But I can’t close everything else away from me.” Her voice vibrated with intensity. “You don’t understand. Just staying alive isn’t enough. I want to live. I want to drain the cup. I want to feel and know.”

  And who could blame her? That young Beth in the photograph, whom Eve had thought so vibrantly alive, had been imprisoned and was finally free and wanting to taste every morsel of life.

  “You’re wrong, I do understand.”

  “Do you?” Beth whispered. Then she smiled brilliantly. “I think you do.”

  Eve chuckled. “But you still can’t have Joe.” She turned to Joe, who was now only a few yards away, and said, “Come and meet my sister, Joe. This is Beth.”

  CHAPTER

  11

  IT WAS THE BITCH!

  Drogan focused his binoculars on the two women who stood in the doorway of the house as Quinn approached them. The first woman was the one he’d followed with Joe Quinn. The other was Beth Avery. He recognized her not only from the photo that Pierce had given him but also the glimpse he’d had of her in that hospital room. He would have known her anywhere. He had been thinking of her, lusting for too long after the moment he’d have her in his sights.