“You’ve been off since school started. When did you meet her?”
“When we moved Shannon in, but that has nothing—”
“It has everything to do with it. You are months away from achieving your goal. Months!” He takes a deep breath to calm down, but his ruddy complexion doesn’t fade. “Don’t tell me you’re willing to risk it over some girl.”
“She’s not some girl!” My voice carries like his, and for once, there’s surprise in his expression.
“Did you develop feelings for her?” He asks this as if it’s the worst thing to ever happen. Did he expect me to become a monk while playing? Or am I being born that much of a burden he hates his life?
“Son, I understand what you’re going through.”
“You do? Did you have people telling you to stay away from Mom? I’m guessing no, because if you did, I’m pretty sure you didn’t listen, considering I’m here.”
“That’s not—”
“What? What you meant. From all the advice you’ve given me over the course of the years, the one thing that’s been consistent is not getting involved with girls. I don’t know why it took so long for me to realize this, but what you’re saying is you don’t really love Mom. Or you regret marrying her since you act like she single-handedly sunk your career.”
“Enough.”
I shut my mouth and stand there with my hands fisted by my side. I didn’t even realize I had moved off the chair.
“Of course, I love your mother. I made a decision to raise a family back then. I just didn’t want you to fall into the same trap—” He stops talking.
“Yeah, thought so. You don’t have to worry because I already messed up with the one I love.” I brush past him and head straight to my room. I fire off an apology text to Cara and wait for a response that never comes.
Chapter Forty-Seven
CARA
“I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming here,” I say. “This isn’t the only bar in L.A.”
Lexie flashes a glance toward Shannon who clearly looks too young to be here, let alone to be drinking. “Barton’s is the best place for fake IDs. I told you this.”
“It’s also the best place to run into people we don’t want to see.” I understand going somewhere that won’t question Shannon’s age, but I do not want to see Braxton. I’ve been doing great dodging him on campus.
He must’ve realized I blocked his number because he sent a few texts through Shannon’s phone. I never responded. I’m glad he came to terms with everything, but I can’t let myself go down that road again. He’s going to be gone this summer, and he never wanted to leave with a girlfriend. Those weren’t his words exactly, but his lack of discussing anything future related was telling. He did get one thing right, though. This breakup is for the best.
“You never did tell me how Christmas dinner was with Drake.” Lexie sips her drink and looks up at me with big doe eyes. Before I can answer, Shannon rejoins us carrying a strawberry daiquiri.
“I’m surprised they believed your card with you ordering a foo-foo drink,” I say, laughing.
“They didn’t bat an eye.” She sucks on her straw, eyes twinkling. “This is good.”
Lexie shakes her head and turns back toward me. “You were saying?”
“It went better than expected. Ever since he apologized for his behavior, he acts decent. He wasn’t flirting.” Too much. I have zero interest in him which helps.
“That’s great. Makes family functions less awkward now.”
“Yeah, because I don’t see him going anywhere soon.” My brother is one hundred percent taken with Mia. That’s the relationship I want. It just hurts so badly because I really thought Braxton and I would get there. If my heart didn’t ache, I’d be more excited over finding that overdue closure with Drake and bonding with Mom. A successful trip home but one filled with sad overtones.
I feel his presence before I see him. My entire world tilts, and it makes me so angry. I don’t want to still be affected by him, to feel the heat curling down my spine. This is why I blocked him. I’m not strong enough to stay away.
“Can we talk?”
I peer up at those turquoise blue eyes that make me melt. I swallow hard. Every fiber in my body wants to say yes, but the sensible side, the one born to protect me, flashes a warning to say no. Before I can respond, Shannon and Lexie pop out of the booths with their drinks in hand.
“We’ll be at the bar.” The glance Lexie gives practically screams for me to listen to him.
“That better be a virgin daiquiri,” Braxton warns.
Shannon flashes her pearly whites at him. “Sure, we’ll go with that, big brother.”
He shakes his head as he slides in the seat in front of me. A few silent beats later, he draws in a sigh. “You haven’t called me back.”
“There was no reason to.”
He runs a hand through his short locks, creating a slightly messy appearance. “I’m sorry.”
“Okay.”
“You forgive me?”
“I didn’t say that. I just accept the fact you’re sorry.”
He drops his head as a pained expression settles into his features. I wonder where the cocky athlete I first met went. When it’s apparent he isn’t going to speak, I ask, “How’s ball been going?”
“I didn’t sleep with her.”
My gaze darts to his. I must have heard him wrong. I had to. Otherwise, what would’ve been the point of leading me to believe they slept together? “What?”
He leans back in the seat, his blue eyes dulling as a heaviness hangs over him. “You assumed Izzy was there for me that morning. She did come to try and get together with me, but she didn’t sleep with me.”
“Braxton, I saw her leave that morning. She looked well fucked.” Saying that out loud, knowing he touched her in that way while I cried into my pillow, curls my stomach.
“It wasn’t me who she slept with.”
My eyes widen. “Who, then?” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I shake my head. “That’s really not my business.”
“All I can say is Noah and Garret were with me, and we got home pretty late.”
That would leave Dalton. Oh my God, for someone who shames cleat chasers, she sure doesn’t have qualms when it comes to herself. Thanks for proving my point. Even though she didn’t sleep with Braxton, which makes me want to shout a big “hell, yeah,” I can’t tamp down the anger rolling through me.
“So, you figured what? I had lied so you would too?”
“I had it in my head the best thing for us was to split. I don’t expect you to understand, but I knew that would seal the deal.”
“The best thing for us or you?”
He sits there looking ashamed but doesn’t answer as I draw in a breath.
“Your plan worked,” I say.
“I’m sorry. If I could take it all back, I would.”
“Why?” The hardest thing for me to do is stay strong, but just because he didn’t sleep with her doesn’t mean everything is magically fixed. It isn’t. Far from it.
“Why what?”
“Why would you take it all back? It seems to me you were wanting to end things prior to Izzy snapping that picture. She just made it easier for you to justify it.”
“I wasn’t wanting it to end—”
“No? Then why didn’t you answer my texts or call me?”
He stares at me, the muscle on the side of his jaw ticking. “I love you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to get some understanding of his feelings before I develop emotional whiplash. “Look, I don’t know what you want me to do.”
“Go out with me.”
“It doesn’t work that way, Braxton.”
“It can.”
“You’re so arrogant.” I shake my head in bewilderment.
“But you love me.”
That I do. “Love isn’t enough this time around.”
“Don�
�t say that.”
The strain in his voice weakens my resolve, and it takes all the strength I have to not cave. “I’m giving you what you wanted. You can concentrate on ball and school. No girl to get in the way.”
“What I want is you.”
I slide out of the booth and say the hardest thing I’ve ever said. “What you need is to focus on the game. Not on me.”
“I fucked up. I may not have my future plans mapped out yet, but one thing’s for sure. I want you.”
He’s saying everything I want to hear, and I hate there’s a part of me that wants to forget everything and take him back. But his rhetoric isn’t enough this time.
“I’m sorry, Braxton. You chose to break up with me instead of working this out. This is my choice to walk away.”
“So, we’re right where we were in the beginning when we first met—hating on each other?”
“I never hated you.” At my admission, he quirks an eyebrow. “That much.”
That draws a half-smirk. “I’ll get you to change your mind.”
That’s what I’m banking on.
I pull out my phone and order myself an Uber as my feet find the exit. Once I’m settled in the car, I unblock Braxton’s number and then text Lexie a message about heading to the dorm.
My night is over.
Chapter Forty-Eight
BRAXTON
“Get your head out of your ass,” Noah mumbles while we head back to the dugout, trailing by three runs. “You don’t want to carry this over to the conference tournament.”
The crowd at Renald Field cheers the last out made, but the inning was far from smooth. My gaze inevitably wanders, yet again, to the stadium seats filled with everyone but the girl I want to see.
“I’ve got it handled. It was a stupid error, but it’s the last one. I guarantee it.” I heed his warning. The Dodger Stadium College Baseball Classic is coming up in another month. With the Pac-12 Conference network coverage and the scouts in the stands, I need to bring my A-game. But all I can do is think about Cara. After a month of endless trying, she refuses to go out with me. Every time I ask, she gives me the same answer—no. And it’s not like I can even blame her.
I fucked up big-time.
My mood must be detectable when I reach the dugout because everyone gives us a wide berth. Even Garret stays away. The only one daring to talk to me is Noah.
“You need to let her go or make up with her. It’s throwing your game,” Noah says under his breath while Dalton steps to the plate.
“My game is fine.” Even I know that’s a lie, but what else can I say? It’s not like I’m going to have a heart-to-heart discussion over feelings and shit during a game.
“Your game is far from fine. You’ve never let anyone affect your play before. Even Jasmine didn’t fuck you up this badly. Yeah, you were a mess, but it never spilled into baseball. Not like with Cara.”
Dalton smacks the ball. We all rise off the bench and watch the ball sail to left field. Dalton takes off running and rounds first base when the ball hits the top of the fence and bounces past the left fielder. Dalton’s speed carries him to third base, which he slides into easily enough.
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and competes with the ache left in my chest. I miss Cara. Noah brings up a good point though. I was wrecked after finding out Jasmine cheated on me. After graduation, I had it all: a state championship with my best friend, a top tier college scholarship, and a beautiful girlfriend on my arm. I was cocky as shit. There was no doubt in my mind my girlfriend was happy. We discussed our plans for when we left for college. But after graduation and I found out she cheated on me, I felt gutted. But here’s what people don’t understand. It wasn’t so much that I lost her. Yeah, it hurt, but what got me was her exposing every one of my flaws. This breakup with Cara is different. Yeah, I fucked up making some of the same mistakes as last time, but losing her hurts on a different level.
I love her.
And I want her back.
As our right fielder steps to the plate, Noah asks, “What do you want?”
“I want her back.”
The right fielder loops a ball in between left field and center, and Dalton comes into score.
“Then actually do something to get her back.” Noah grabs his bat and batting helmet while I don my batting gloves. With the bottom of the order reaching base, it looks like I’ll get a chance to bat this inning.
One out and bases loaded faces me when I step to the plate. I push thoughts of Cara out of my mind. I don’t think of the way she laughed when the Philly players teased her or the way her body molded to mine when we pretended to be together. I certainly don’t think about what happened later that night when we were alone.
Strike one.
I step back in, determination etched across my features. I won’t let the memory of our first time cloud my mind. The game, my future, is too important.
But damn, I miss her.
The ball releases. I swing and hit nothing but air.
Strike two.
The pitcher sets and one anxious fan screams. The sound carries to the field sounding like an animal in pain. Cara loves animals. Regardless of whether we’re together or not, I hope she’ll accomplish her goal of becoming a veterinarian. She deserves to be happy.
The pitcher winds up and throws. The ball comes off the bat, straight to the shortstop. I take off toward first base with all the speed I can muster, but when the ball lands into the first baseman’s glove a mere fragment before my foot touches first base, I know I hit into a double play.
“Go back to the kennel, Smith.”
“We’ll see who wins in the end.” I stand for a moment as the opposing team’s taunting words stir a memory. Down by two runs, the last thing I need to do after hitting into a double play is to be thinking about a date, but I just figured out what to do for Cara, and it’s way overdue. The hardest part is making her agree to meet me.
Chapter Forty-Nine
CARA
The text brigade assaults me while I sit on the patio outside my dorm. And yes, that’s what I’m dubbing it, because if the text were real troopers, I’d be under attack. I place my romance book on the table after the first alert comes from my roommate who happens to be visiting her friend Cindy.
Shannon: Did you know I happen to love old kung fu flicks? My favorites are from Bruce Lee. He said, “Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.” Please hear my brother out.
She then sends the cutest picture of the martial art great posing by a Great Dane. The next text comes from Garret.
Garret: Did you know Martin Luther King, Jr. spoke about forgiveness? He said, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” You need to hear my boy out because the last thing you want is to be unlovable.
I laugh. Garret, you totally messed up the point, but duly noted. But then I sigh when he sends the cutest kitten picture. My phone beeps this time with Noah’s text.
Noah: Mahatma Gandhi once said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” I know you’re strong. Keep an open mind.
His picture is a puppy wearing a superman costume. That makes me smile. I am strong, but I also know I’m weak when it comes to my heart. That’s why I’ve been refusing to go out with him, no matter how many times he asks. The only problem is, I can’t say staying away has made me happier. In fact, I’m pretty miserable, which is why I cave when the next text comes through.
Dalton: I don’t do inspirational shit. Just go out with him.
I shield my mouth and chuckle out loud. Oh my goodness, his text is the best one. A moment later, my phone rings with a call from a familiar number, and this time, I answer.
“Did you really think getting your posse to text me would work?” I ask in lieu of a greeting; thankful I unblocked his number.
“You answered, didn’t you?”
I roll my eyes,
holding back a laugh. “Touché.”
“What are you doing right now?”
“Homework.”
“Can you spare me an hour?”
“I’m really swamped.” I glance at the naked man chest plastered across the front of my book and cringe.
“Really? That must be one interesting class by the way that cover looks.”
I pop my head up and scan my surroundings until I meet blue eyes blazing with mischief. Miller, perched on his hind legs, sits beside him.
“How long have you been standing there?” I ask, putting my phone away.
“Long enough to know you were going to blow me off. And not the kind I prefer.” My cheeks heat, but he continues, “And after all the inspiration you were sent, I would’ve thought you’d be more amenable.”
“I did enjoy the puppy and kitten pictures.” I tilt my head Miller’s way. “I see you brought a reinforcement.”
“Never said I’d play fair.”
I smile but don’t move even though I want to spring out of this chair and pet Miller. How dare he use animal warfare to entice me.
Braxton walks toward me and doesn’t stop until he’s beside my table. “Are you busy?”
I glance down at the book again. “No, I’m free. What did you have in mind?”
“I’d like to take you somewhere.”
My heart rate spikes. As much as I try to fight it, this guy still gets to me. I try to play my emotions off casually while running my fingers through Miller’s fur. “Any hints to where?”
“Nope. Let’s go.”
I follow him to his truck without a clue to where we’re heading. I honestly don’t care. Comfortableness settles inside the cabin as we leave campus with Miller sitting between us. I’ve missed times like this. Where we feel content to just be.
Miller lets out a woof and lays his head on my lap. I take the hint and start petting him again. Personally, I think he likes my nails.
“You must be excited baseball started. How’re your stats coming along?”
SWINGING STRIKE: Cessna U Wildcats Book One Page 30
