He grows quiet. “Okay.”
Now, that’s odd. He knows how important his performance is this year.
“Just okay?” Part of me wonders if our breakup did affect him more than I want to admit.
“I’ll get it together. Don’t worry.” He flashes me a brilliant smile, but it looks forced. I think back to our previous conversations. At first, he blamed his sluggish performance from slacking off during his summer workouts. He knows how important this year is, but whenever the discussion turns toward the draft, he loses all enthusiasm. Yet, he destroyed our relationship when things got serious. As the pieces fall in place, what he’s doing becomes clear. He’s sabotaging himself. How have I not seen this before?
We may not have a definitive future, but he can’t throw his real future away. I won’t let him.
After a long pause, I finally speak, “I know you will. You’re Modern-day Babe Ruth.”
His smile falters, and I know I’m right. I just need to think of a way to get him to figure out what it is he exactly wants.
The drive lasts about thirty minutes before he pulls into a veterinarian clinic. But not just an ordinary clinic. This consists of two units joined by a long corridor. One half is the veterinarian side while the other half houses sheltered animals. It’s the same animal shelter Miller was taken to. My chest swells. I haven’t been to an animal shelter in so long. The day Mia and I picked up Miller, I didn’t have time to play with the other animals.
“Come on, boy. You need to get your final checkup.” Braxton coaxes Miller out of the truck. The dog doesn’t budge. “I don’t blame you, buddy.”
Braxton shoots me a look. “They snipped his balls last time he was here. He’s a little gun shy.”
I cringe and kneel down to peck Miller on the nose. “Yeah, I know. I’m so sorry, buddy.”
Braxton tries again, and Miller lets out a low whine. After some coaxing, he begrudgingly follows Braxton in through the glass doors.
Yep, I know how you feel, buddy. I can’t resist him either.
“We’ll get him checked out and will come to get you when you’re through,” the veterinary assistant says.
Braxton extends his hand to me. When our fingers wrap together, warmth zings through me. The familiarity of his touch trips my heart. It takes great strength not to curl beside him, but I miss his touch.
“Let’s go see those puppies and kittens.” Braxton looks at me with that lopsided grin. My insides melt.
Puppies, kittens, and Braxton. I’m not sure my chest can consume all that cuteness.
Chapter Fifty
BRAXTON
“You must be Braxton and Cara.” The lady behind the counter perks up when we walk into the shelter. Confusion coats Cara’s face as I extend my hand out in greeting.
“Nice to meet you.”
“If you want to follow me, I have exactly the type of puppies you requested.”
Cara squeezes my hand but doesn’t speak. Her eyes widen when we pass glass windows showcasing kittens playing with each other.
“Here you go.” The lady opens a door for us to enter. “These puppies are six weeks old. Three of them have been adopted, but the other two still are unspoken for.”
The gleam in Cara’s eyes brightens as she picks up a caramel-colored lab and snuggles her face against him. She’s so fucking adorable.
I had to be a complete idiot to think I could live without her.
Joining her, I pick the other puppy up and start playing with him. I had this entire spiel planned out in my head, but now, I can’t think of a single thing to say. How do I make this right? I start with another apology.
“I truly am sorry.”
“Back in Philly, whenever life got too stressful, I’d visit an animal shelter not that far from where I live. Nothing beats puppy kisses.” Cara sets the puppy down between her legs and starts scratching him behind his ear. He rests his front paws and chin on her thigh, thoroughly content. Cara looks up at the ceiling and shakes her head. “I know you are, but you have to trust me.”
She’s right. “I’ve told you my ex-girlfriend lied to me, but I didn’t elaborate. And just so you know, this doesn’t excuse my behavior.”
“Okay.” She tilts her head to the side and smiles softly.
“Jasmine was good at manipulating the blame. After catching her cheating with her ex, she blamed my jealousy. Instead of admitting she was only using me for my future status, she turned my possessiveness into a weapon and used it against me. I tried not to be that jealous guy with you. That’s why I didn’t want to define what we had. I thought if I didn’t place that label on you then I wouldn’t act jealous. I tried to be aloof. But when I saw you dancing with Drake, I lost it and assumed the worst.”
“I wish I hadn’t stepped on the dance floor, but I never—”
“I know. Shannon explained.” But it was too late. The damage had been done, and I acted like a complete idiot. “I’m so sorry I ruined your birthday.”
“I’m sorry I lied. It’s just when you texted where I was the last thing I wanted to write was being with Drake. I knew you wouldn’t understand and since we were heading to AJ’s anyway, I…” My voice trails off as I shrug.
“Can you answer me something?” She continues after I don’t speak. “Why are you self-sabotaging yourself? What are you afraid of?”
My face blanches as I try to find the air that escaped. My lungs feel as if she hit me with a baseball bat. “Why would you think that?”
“You haven’t been giving the game you’re all.”
I go to blame our breakup, but she holds her hand up to stop me.
“You were doing that before we got together.”
“No, I wasn’t—”
“Don’t even try to deny that because you’ve been doing this before school even started. I’ll ask again. What are you afraid of?”
My jaw ticks. I don’t want to answer, but the look she’s giving me isn’t judgmental. Just plain curiosity with hints of concern.
I blow out a breath. No one has put me on the spot before. Noah tries, but I derail him easily enough. My dad just instructs and expects me to listen. No one ever forced me to answer.
I swallow the lump forming and answer, “Letting everyone down.”
“Explain.”
“Man, I don’t want to talk about this.”
“I don’t care. Something is bothering you. Why do you think you’re letting everyone down?”
“People are counting on me to make the draft. My entire college career has been centered around it. The constant hounding from Dad. Keep focus. Don’t lose sight of your goals. Don’t let anyone or anything get in the way. Don’t get attached.” I meet her gaze. “Or tied down.”
She tries not to be affected by this, but I can see the slight hurt in her eyes. No doubt, she’s remembering my dad’s words. I shake my head. “Then there’s my teammates. This is our year to win the College World Series. We have the team. The right set of guys. They expect me to get drafted. They expect me to accept the offer and go, like Rick.”
“Yeah, but what do you want to do?”
“Isn’t that the million-dollar question.”
“What’s your goal. Nobody else’s. Nobody’s expectations. What does Braxton Smith want?”
“I want to play in the majors.”
“What about graduation?”
“I want that too.”
“Are you hoping you won’t get drafted?”
It’d make things easier, but I don’t voice that. “I don’t know.”
“Carrying all this worry is bogging your performance. Let it go and play for the love of the game. Worry about the decisions later.”
The sincerity in her eyes squeezes my chest. She’s right. I’ve been playing for everyone else but myself.
“I wish it was that easy.”
“It doesn’t have to be complicated.”
She’s so sweet. “I’ll try to start playing for me.” Saying the words lifts some o
f the burden. The process will be long, but I make a vow to myself to try.
Bringing the puppy next to my face, I peer over at Cara so she has to look at both of us. I’ll try anything to make her soften to me, and that includes using the puppy. “Go out with me.”
“I-I didn’t say that so we’d get back together.”
“I know, but I’ve missed you. You’ve missed me, too.”
“It’s not a good idea, Braxton. We’re too different, and you need to figure out what you want.”
“I want you. The rest will come in time.”
The yes is on the tip of her tongue. I can practically see it, but I hurt her too badly. I place the puppy down and shift gears.
“You know I did do some good when we were together. I punched a professor for you.”
That earns me a genuine smile. God, I’ve missed that.
“Now, who’s being Rocky?”
My lips twitch. “Go out with me.”
“Braxton.” Her body slumps as I watch the fight leave her body. I pull her next to me and wrap my arms around her waist. I’ve also missed the feel of her body next to mine.
“Go out with me.” I kiss the tip of her nose.
“Why? You don’t like drama.”
“Turns out peacefulness is highly overrated.” That earns me another smile which I’ll gladly take. “Let me make up for being a dick. I have to make up for your birthday.” Give me another chance.
“I just need a little more time, okay?”
I nod, not having a clue what more I can do.
When I drop her off at her dorm, she turns toward me. Miller gives a woof which draws her smile. Her gaze meets mine and that smile turns wicked.
“Don’t worry. You’ll know when I’m ready.”
Chapter Fifty-One
BRAXTON
The following Tuesday
Cessna’s Baseball Captain Known as a Player on and off the Field.
Rumor has it, Los Angeles catcher, AJ Gonzalez, caught a Cessna U game. He was impressed with the performance of the team’s captain, Mr. Modern-day Babe Ruth. Yes, you read correctly, the all-star catcher was quoted as saying, “He has a lot of talent and will make one *ell of a baseball player. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for him.”
But the rumors don’t stop there.
Our captain got short-changed in the last rumor mill, but from what this reporter has found out, Modern-day Babe Ruth has the endurance to last all nine innings. There’s nothing quick draw about him. Oh, and sorry, girls. He’s officially off the market. This reporter is happy to announce the Heartburglar has cashed in his stripes.
Till next rumor.
Mel G.
Rumor Has It, special edition.
“I thought we were over this shit?” I march to my locker and snatch the latest paper taped to the front. I pause. What the heck? The usual Hambuglar picture has been replaced by a caricature drawing of Hercules—Disney style. He’s standing, chest puffed and hands on his hips, stepping on a box of Viagra, the title ‘stud-muffin’ scrolled across the top. I look up at my roommates’ smirks. “What the fuck is this?”
“Have you read the sports section in the school paper? Noah asks.
“No.” I didn’t think there would be a reason to anymore. I place the drawing in my bag—whoever drew it did a fantastic job—and quickly get dressed. Chuckles erupt around me with a few lewd comments about my abilities. Funny thing about people making fun of you. When the jokes pump me up, I don’t mind them so much.
Once fully clothed, I pull out my phone and read the article. I read it again. A smile stretches wide. My girl.
You’ll know when I’m ready.
Not wanting to waste any more time away from my girl, I race toward the parking lot. I push through to the outside and find her leaning up against my truck. I draw her in my arms and press her body against mine.
“I’m off the market, huh?”
“Officially.”
“You know you outed yourself, right.” Up until this point, no one knew who her brother was or that he played ball. I never told a sole with the exception of Shannon.
“I think you’re worth it.”
“You’re willing to give me a second chance?”
“As long as you trust me. My ex will never go away.”
“I know that, and I do trust you.”
“Don’t make me regret this.”
“Not a chance.” Without wasting any more time, I pull her up against me and place my mouth on hers. The kiss was supposed to be quick, a soft brushing, but the moment she opened her mouth, I broke. Deepening the kiss, I explore each familiar line of her mouth. I’ve missed the way her mouth moves against mine and the way her body fits perfectly tucked against me. I’ve missed her. We may not be fully in the right place yet, but I have no doubt we’ll get there.
“Looks as if Hercules is getting a head start,” some teammate yells across the parking lot, followed by sneers.
Cara breaks away, laughing. Those beautiful brown eyes, once again full of hope, peer up at me. A piece of me cracks. I don’t know what my future holds, but I know I want her with me. Rick and my dad are wrong. Cara isn’t the distraction they think. Not having her in my life is the biggest distraction of all. There’s nothing I want more at this moment than her in my arms. I’ll make up for my actions. I just need time to implement everything.
Chapter Fifty-Two
CARA
I can’t believe I’m finally here.
“There isn’t any other place I’d rather take you.” Braxton wraps his arms around my waist and rests his chin on the side of my head. Heat flames my cheeks from voicing my thought out loud.
The first turn that led us away from the city should’ve clued me in as to where we were going, but I couldn’t concentrate. Let’s just say a certain ballplayer kept me distracted. Or shall I say his hands, the familiarity of his touch, jumbled my brain? I pretty much guessed his surprise when we reached the narrow road and ascended up the winding mountain path. But I’m still shocked I’m here at the Griffith Observatory.
“Thanks for bringing me. Seeing the city from this viewpoint is incredible.” I stare out at the backdrop of Los Angeles in awe, but the scenery isn’t the only thing awe-inspiring. Braxton remembering my story is pretty damn spectacular.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t take you sooner. With ball and school, my schedule has been hectic.”
“We’re here now. That’s all that counts.”
His fingers spread across my midriff, the slight movement tickling the exposed skin. It’s been two weeks since Braxton asked me out, but with him playing ball, it took some time to align our schedules.
“Besides, I had to wait for the rest of your present to get here.”
“You big tease.” Sitting inside his car is a box wrapped in pink wrapping paper with a sparkling pink bow. I have no clue what it could be, but he won’t let me open it until we arrive home.
“Come on, let’s go see when the planetarium show starts.”
After purchasing the tickets, we stroll along the inside. I can’t wipe the grin from my face. “This place pulls at my inner science nerd, ya know.”
“Biology or space exploration?”
“Hmm, I may have to lean toward biology. But I believe there are way more things to discover on both fronts.”
“Good point.” He quiets for a moment almost like he’s hesitant to speak. When he asks the next question, I find out why. “How’re things going with Alan? Is he treating you okay?”
I blow out a breath. “As much as I hated the thought of continuing classes with the creep again this year, he hasn’t been bad. I never thanked you properly for that.”
With a mischievous gleam to his eye, he says, “I can think of a few ways to thank me.”
God, I’ve missed him.
He pulls out the phone to check the time. “Think we better start heading toward the planetarium.”
He grabs my hand and weaves our fingers toget
her. We remain joined while we wait for the main doors to open. Once we enter the room, we break apart until we’re settled in our seats.
The room is relatively dark. He reclaims my hand, and chills skate across my skin, while the feel of his touch warms certain areas that missed him wholeheartedly. I don’t know what to do. What I want. Well, I know I want him back in my life, but is it the right choice? I sort of perfected the whole forgive-and-take-back dance with Drake. It’s what I did best.
As the lighting fades to black and the stars light up the faux night sky, I don’t think the two men are comparable.
Not in the least.
I push all other thoughts away when the announcer explains the various constellations and enjoy the next forty-five minutes. But the anxiousness comes back once we’re outside.
“The constellations are so easily detectable when illuminated by themselves,” I say when we walk out to his car. I look up, trying to decipher if any of the stars resemble anything we learned. “Too bad we can’t take our new knowledge and apply it toward the sky. The only thing I can ever find is the Big Dipper or Ursa Major, as we learned is the proper name.”
We’ve reached his car, and he pulls me beside him, staring directly at me. My heartbeat ticks faster from the intensity burning in the depths of his eyes.
“You’re my constellation.”
My nose wrinkles. “What do you mean?”
He points to the sky. “Look at the cluster of stars. That’s Cassiopeia.”
It takes a moment before I visualize the funky-shaped “W” in the dark sky. “I see it.”
“That’s how I see you, a constellation shining all on your own. Even among a mass of sparkly, glowing people, competing for attention, you outshine them all. You never blend and get lost. Never have.”
“Then why did you let me go so easily?”
SWINGING STRIKE: Cessna U Wildcats Book One Page 31
