Intimate Strangers (The Lisa Millar Series Book 1)
Page 12
“Hey,” he said. She could tell he felt uncomfortable.
“Hi,” she answered softly.
“He’s nearly done,” he told her. He clearly had no idea what to say to her and was looking more than a little uncomfortable. “Did he hurt you?”
She shook her head.
“I’m here!” AJ shouted from behind Jeremy.
“Talk to you later, yeah, Lis?” Jeremy gave her shoulder a little squeeze. “You done good.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” he whispered through her hair as he pulled her to him and wrapped her tightly in his arms.
“It’s ok,” she choked, “I could handle it. He just pissed me off. You can’t play tomorrow night, AJ,” she warned. “You need to sit this one out. Please, AJ!” she shrieked, not realizing how close to hysteria she had been.
“Babe, I’ll be fine,” he assured her. “I can handle him.”
“But he has it in for you, and now I embarrassed him in the bar. He probably knows I’m with you, and he’s gonna be even more wound up!”
“I couldn’t really see what was going on, but Jer said you really kicked his ass, babe,” he smiled. “I was very proud of you,” he kissed her forehead, “but please, try not to worry. I promise I’ll be fine.”
“You can’t break promises, you know?” she asked weakly.
“I know,” he kissed her again.
“Did you hit him?”
“No ma’am, you did a good enough job. I didn’t need to.”
“Liar! You mean you wanted to kick his ass some more, but Chelsea or someone told you to forget about him and come find me?”
She could tell, even in the dark, that color was filling his cheeks. “You know me too well,” he replied as he kissed her yet again. “Do you want to file a police report?” he asked her seriously.
She shook her head.
“You sure?”
She nodded.
“You can stop running, you know?” he spoke softly as he looked into her eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean you’re a part of my life here, Lis, you don’t need to run.”
Seems someone else has noticed I keep bolting away from awkward stuff.
“I was scared and embarrassed…I don’t like causing a scene. I’m not supposed to be your girlfriend.” She took a breath, realizing she was justifying herself and yet couldn’t stop it. “I guess I haven’t quite figured out how to behave in public with you yet. I knew you’d follow and I knew I couldn’t fall apart in your arms in the bar. I didn’t want your friends to see me upset. I didn’t want any more trouble than had already been caused.”
“Shhhh…” he soothed, stroking her cheek. “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. I love you. I want to be with you. My friends know the truth about Britt, and about you. You don’t need to bite your tongue or hold back. My friends are a welcoming bunch, they’ll love you ‘cause I love you. They’ll protect you, because it’s just what they do. You’ll be part of the family. It’s a tight-knit group to crack from the outside, but you’re with me, and that’s enough for them. If you want it, it’s there. It’s up to you, Lis. You can be as involved as you’d like in my life, the door is open. But, as far as everyone is concerned, you’re here for the long-haul. I know you, you’re a fighter. You’re the strongest person I know. And you may feel like you need to run away, to hide who you really are from me, and from my friends, and it’s ok if you do. But I need you to know that it’s ok to run towards us, too. I’m not going anywhere. I am yours. My sister already likes you more than she likes me. The others likely will, too. But you need to be yourself. Speak up if you’re hurt or angry, and don’t shy away from them. I already know who you are and I’m ready for the rest of the people in my life to know the strong, spunky and outspoken Irish badass I fell in love with. Just be you.”
Tears trickled down her face as she buried herself in the front of his shoulder. She was clinging to him tightly.
“I’m struggling, AJ. It’s a lot to process. I feel like everyone’s waiting for me to fall apart, but I already am falling apart inside. This isn’t quite how I imagined our life to be once I stepped off the plane and met your sister.”
“I know and I’m so sorry for that. It’s ok to be overwhelmed and to feel like you don’t know which way is up. You don’t have to put on a brave face for the team, or my family, or even for me. I’m not ok with being fake-married right now, either. It’s ok to feel the way you’re feeling. You don’t need to hide or run away.”
“Thank you for always being there to dry my tears,” she told him between sniffles.
“Well, since I’m largely the cause of them, it’s the least I can do,” he half-joked. “Plus, I’m kinda hoping you’ll dry mine someday, when I need you to.”
“Deal,” she answered, and kissed him through her tears.
Chapter 22
The game was even more intense than the night before. Penalties were being called all across the ice, for both teams. The Chargers were lacking in power-play strength, but their penalty-kill was solid - so far, at least. It was the middle of the second period, and AJ and Jeremy were doing their thing. Jeremy sent the puck behind Mike’s net where AJ was waiting. Lisa saw it first, a split second too late, and, before she realized, she was on her feet screaming – panic filling her voice.
“AJ! LOOK OUT!”
Three had gotten onto the ice without AJ noticing. She hadn’t noticed either. He spotted AJ deep behind the net and skated straight towards him, his stick raised high. AJ had his back to him and didn’t see it coming. She wasn’t sure if anyone but her actually saw what she was seeing. AJ cleared the puck, but his skate got momentarily stuck between the boards and the ice somehow. Everyone’s attention was on the puck, except AJ’s as he was trying to get his skate free, and hers. Her attention was firmly on the asshole ploughing towards her boyfriend with his stick higher than it should be. It took only seconds.
Her scream came too late, people turned to look at her in shock as her worst nightmare unfolded before her eyes. She saw AJ flinch at the sound of her piercing scream, hesitated for just a second, and in that second everything changed. Three was skating towards him with a clear purpose and at a phenomenal pace. It all happened so fast. His stick met with AJ’s shoulder and AJ crashed head-first into the plexi-glass, collapsing into a heap on the ice.
The whistle blew and there was silence.
“NOOO!” she screamed. She was already making her way through the crowd towards the ice. AJ wasn’t moving. Nobody moved for what felt like minutes, then there was a blur of motion as players and officials swarmed around AJ’s still body on the ice. She saw the in-house medical team crossing the ice and, in her periphery, noted a couple members of Three’s team escorting him to the tunnel and away from the scene unfolding in front of her eyes.
She tried to climb over the barrier ,but one of the staff stopped her.
“You can’t come on the ice, ma’am,” he told her.
“But – he’s…he’s…” she replied hot tears burning at her eyes. Her voice cracked.
“You can’t come on the ice, ma’am,” he repeated; though his voice sounded compassionate, his eyes showed he wouldn’t be letting her past.
“But-”
“No ma’am,” he cut her off.
She saw Jeremy appear behind the steward. “Please?” she pleaded with him.
“You can’t, Lis. I’m sorry.”
She knew it wasn’t really the done thing, not at all, but in that moment, she couldn’t have cared less what accepted game etiquette was. AJ was lying still on the ice, and she needed to get to him. From where she stood, she saw what she guessed was blood speckling the ice. She felt nauseous and light-headed, but she could hardly throw-up on the ice in front of a rink-full of people, so she took a deep breath, looked at Jeremy and asked him what she should do.
“He’ll be ok,” Jeremy told her with a confidence she wasn’t quite sure he felt.
She nodded, swallowing deeply and asked again what she could do. She wanted to touch him, but she knew until medical help came, no one should move him. Every part of her wanted to push past Jeremy and the stubborn steward and get to her boy on the ice.
“Did someone call an ambulance?” she asked.
“Yeah, it should be here any minute.”
“Ok, it just feels like it’s taking so long,” she replied quietly, hugging herself tightly as the cold of the arena started to hit her despite her layers.
“I know, but they’re coming,” he assured her.
She nodded silently, her gaze returning to her unconscious boyfriend.
“Can I ride with him to the hospital?” she asked hopefully.
“I think so.”
“Where did he go?”
“Who?” Jeremy queried.
“The asshole who did this,” she replied curtly.
“Locker room, I’d guess. There’s enough going on without a brawl breaking out,” he answered bitterly.
Within minutes the ambulance crew was on the ice. They put on a neck-brace and rolled him carefully onto a stretcher. Jeremy told her where to go to meet the ambulance and the stubborn steward kindly offered to show her a short cut through the employees-only area. She was allowed to ride in the ambulance with him but only if she didn’t get in their way and sat quietly. She called Ana to tell her what had happened and have her meet them at the hospital.
They’ve probably got a system in place for these kinds of situations, but I really just need to feel like I’m doing SOMETHING helpful right now.
She asked Chelsea to stop at AJ’s for an overnight bag and meet them at the hospital so there was a car at the hospital to take them all home once AJ had been checked over.
Ever the optimist! she thought, as they got AJ settled in the back of the ambulance and took off at an alarming speed. The siren was louder than she’d expected it to be, but it was dulled by the panic ringing in her ears.
She sat quietly in the back of the ambulance, staying out of the EMTs’ way and only talking to answer their questions as best she could.
When they got to hospital, they immediately whisked AJ away from her. The EMTs had called ahead and she knew the OR had been prepped – just in case. AJ had been hooked up to an IV and cut out of his pads and clothes in the back of the ambulance. They suspected pressure on his brain from knocking his head on the plexi; risks included a clot, seizure, brain damage. Don’t make an inappropriate joke about his brain already being damaged. Don’t make an inappropriate joke about his brain already being damaged. A hysterical half-giggle, half-wail escaped her as she stood holding his bloody jersey and staring at the double doors they wheeled him through, thinking that she didn’t even get to give him a kiss, or tell him to keep his stick on the ice.
She heard the doors open behind her, and turned to find Ana. When Ana saw the cut shirt covered in her brothers’ blood, she burst into tears. Keep it together, Lis. Be strong, she instructed herself as her sympathetic-crying reaction threatened to kick-in. Chelsea arrived soon after. As Ana stood crying, Lisa asked if she had called her parents to tell them what had happened.
“Can you do it? Please?” she asked through heaving sobs. “I can’t”.
“Of course,” she replied. I guess I could ask Jeremy after the game, but he would probably just say something awkwardly inappropriate and they need to know right away.
A nurse appeared to tell them that AJ had been taken into surgery and Lisa excused herself to go and talk to AJ’s parents for the first time.
How does a person call their boyfriend’s parents and tell them their son is in emergency surgery and may not survive? She’d both seen enough Grey’s Anatomy and had enough warnings from her parents throughout her life to know that head injuries could be very dangerous.
AJ may not make it out of surgery, she thought as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. I wonder if an Alabaman version of McDreamy from Grey’s is in the OR working on him right now, she wondered as she dialed from a piece of paper Ana had scribbled their number on.
What an odd thing for someone whose boyfriend is in critical condition to think. You’re totally losing it, Lis.
Keep it together, she repeated to herself.
Sometimes in these kinds of situations she went to pieces, but, for the most part, she was the one everyone relied on and turned to for support. She was the one who kept a cool head. Right now, her head felt full of cotton wool, and anything but cool.
Stop stalling, call his parents. At least you’re not a sobbing mess yet. Call them and tell them, before the sobbing. They need to know. If you don’t tell them, some strange nurse will. When you’re done, go ask for an update.
She took a deep breath and hit the call button. It rang once, twice, and half-way through the third ring,
“Hello?”
Shit. How do I tell this woman her son is in the hospital with his head open? Ok, Ok, breathe. Suck it up she scolded herself. She sucked in a slow breath, realizing that his mom had repeated her “Hello?”
“Hello, is that Mrs. Williams?”
“Speaking.”
“Hello Mrs. Williams, my name is Lisa, I’m-.”
“Oh Lisa! How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you, Mrs. Williams, but I’m calling about AJ, I have some bad news. There’s been an accident.” Her voice was shaking, laced with fear and uncertainty. She knew his mother could hear it, too.
She heard his mom take in a long, slow breath of her own before asking,
“What happened, Lisa?”
Knowing that it wasn’t really the time to get into great detail about what happened, Lisa simply told her that her son had sustained a head injury from an accident during the game and that she and his father should come as soon as they could. She waited for his mom to respond; a heavy silence hung between them.
“Mrs. Williams?” Lisa prodded, thinking perhaps she’d lost the call somehow. She glanced at the screen and saw the call timer continue to tick. She heard his mom take a deep breath before she answered.
“We’ll be there as soon as we can.”
“Yes ma’am, I’ll let Ana know.” Lisa replied slowly, confused at his mother’s lack of reaction. Shock perhaps? During their email exchanges, AJ had told her that his mother had never really been an “emotional” mother. He said she was often seen as a little standoffish and seemingly unflappable. He’d only seen her cry a couple times during his life, though he had also recounted times where her love for him was more than evident. AJ had told Lisa that if his mother hadn’t been a lawyer, he could have totally imagined her as a doctor; she cared for people, but had a knack for detaching herself from the severity of situations and remaining objective in order to get the job at hand done. Despite being aware of this, Lisa expected at least some form of initial reaction from the woman. But none came.
“Thank you for calling us, Lisa, it can’t have been easy for you.”
“Not really,” she answered honestly, “but Ana’s a bit of a mess and I thought you’d prefer to hear it from someone he knows rather than a complete stranger. I thought about having Jeremy call, but he’d probably have cracked a dumb joke. You know how he can be when he’s uncomfortable.”
“I do indeed. Thanks again, we’ll see you soon.”
“See you.”
Just before she ended the call, she heard AJ’s mom screaming for his dad to come to wherever she was in the house.
Poor woman.
Putting the phone back into her pocket, she rested her head against the wall beside her. Her mind was racing and her chest was tight with emotions. All of the “usual” ones were present: guilt, anger, denial, guilt…that one was persistent. She felt guilty. Guilty about the fight in the bar, guilty that she didn’t recognize what was happening a moment sooner, guilty that she even considered for a moment that AJ may not survive surgery. Why am I not a crying mess? She questioned herself aloud.
You’re in shock, her mind answered.
It’ll come.
Chapter 23
Feeling claustrophobic, Lisa stepped outside the hospital for a moment. She stood taking in a couple deep breaths and trying to center herself a bit. It was dark and cool. Looking up at the Alabama night sky, she hugged herself and said a silent prayer to whatever god was listening. Please don’t let him die. Please, please, please let him live.
Walking back inside, not knowing how long she’d been gone, she headed to the nurses’ station. Four nurses sat working. A couple had their heads buried in files and paperwork, one was on the phone and another was swearing under her breath at her computer. Lisa cleared her throat in an attempt to get someone’s attention.
“May I help you?” one of them asked.
“Can you tell me how AJ Williams is doing in surgery, please?” She shuddered at the word surgery.
“Are you his immediate family?”
“No, but-”
“Well I’m afraid I cannot give out any information.”
“But-”
“I’m sorry.”
“But-”
“Those are the rules.” The nurse’s impatience with this foreigner was evident. She clearly wanted to return to whatever it was that she’d been doing. Perhaps she’d had a long and busy day. Perhaps she was just a generally unfriendly person – though, if that were true, she’s surely gone into the wrong career, Lisa thought. Plus, I’ve had a long and very bad day, too, and I’m still being polite.
“Would you please let me finish one sentence?” she snapped. Her game-face was starting to show cracks and she was not in the mood for some ill-mannered nurse. Before she realized it, she was reading this nurse the riot-act.
“I am not some random person off the street. I’m his girlfriend. I’m not asking you for his social security number – I already know it. I know his home address, his birthday, and more than any of you will ever know about the man. And, if I were trying to steal his identity, I’m a penis short and two boobs extra. I came in the ambulance with him, clutching his blood-stained hockey jersey from a head injury. I’m not asking for you to go into the OR, interrupt the surgeon and ask him complicated medical questions. I’m simply asking for an update. Is my boyfriend still alive? For example. How long is the surgery expected to last? Maybe stretching to asking his chances of survival and recovery had you not been an insufferable mare and cut me off every time I opened my damn mouth. However, go back to your game of solitaire or whatever it is that’s so much more important than common courtesy, and I’ll go back to a room full of folks who have no fucking clue what you people are doing to their loved one.”