Pistol Whipped (Love on Target Book 3)
Page 7
One thing was clear—he was no longer interested in Lucy. Not even slightly.
She’d come over and attacked him, rubbing her body against his just as she always did, brushing her hands through his hair and claiming how much she’d missed him. He’d gotten insta-hard. He’d been aloof. He’d been moody and almost rude, but she hadn’t noticed in her quick act of seduction. Gabbie was the only thing on his mind. He’d fought hard trying not to compare the two, but when he’d had Lucy bent over his bed with her ass in the air, he couldn’t help but notice that she lacked the two dimples above her ass right along her lower back like Gabriella. He liked those little spots. Even if he didn’t see them very often on Gabriella.
Lucy was not as mature as Gabbie. She still acted childish at times, which was something he hadn’t noticed until he started to compare the two. Tonight, was the last time he would fuck Lucy. After they’d finished, well, at least after he finished—he wasn’t even sure he’d done his duty long enough for her to orgasm—but she’d laid on his bed ready to snuggle in for the night and he’d all but forced her out the door.
He rubbed his thumb and forefinger along the bridge of his nose. He hadn’t wanted to deal with Lucy’s drama tonight. But eventually he’d have to let her down and end this charade. He was done with her.
Even though he wasn’t convinced he could have any relationship with Gabriella. For one, long distance relationships never worked. Ask anyone. Second of all, even if he were willing to throw in everything to make a go of having a relationship with her, who knew what she would think. Bottom line was he needed to talk to her. They needed to address the way he’d touched her at the picnic and what he thought she remembered about asking him to sleep with her.
This was a mess. How fucking old was he? He needed to pick up the fucking phone and call her. Better yet, he should get in his truck and drive over there and settle this once and for all. What was the worst-case scenario? He could confirm that she apparently didn’t remember her request when he thought she did. She must think he was a creep! Touching her and looking at her like she was a fresh piece of meat? She must think he was possessed. Rightfully so, too. Coming at her out of the blue like that—In her mind—he’d think the same had their positions been reversed.
He couldn’t sleep. Okay, time to be a man. He picked up his phone and called her.
She answered on the second ring. “Logan? Is everything okay?”
She sounded breathless…did she finally get her chance to see the chef? “Yeah, everything is fine…Well, not everything, Gabriella. We need to talk.”
She let out a yawn. “I know. But must we talk now? At…” He could hear shuffling around; she’d been in bed. “At twelve oh eight at night?”
He thought about his evening with Lucy. He considered her question. Yes, they had to talk tonight. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer, but he asked anyway. “Are you alone?”
She was quiet for a moment. He waited in suspense for her answer. Finally, it came. “Of course. Who else would be here?”
“The chef.” He didn’t like how his voice was laced with sarcasm. He sounded jealous to his own ears. “I just didn’t know.”
Again, she was silent. The one time he would feel a lot more comfortable if she would talk and fill the void like she always did, and yet all he was getting was silence. “Are you mad?”
“No,” she whispered. “I could never be mad at you. It was my fault. The details are fuzzy but…I asked you to sleep with me?”
He let out a low chuckle, no longer sounding like the jealous ex-boyfriend. “You sure did, Cinderella.”
“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I hope I didn’t freak you out.”
He didn’t want her to be sorry for fuck’s sake. He wanted her to still want to sleep with him. “You shocked me only a little bit, but I got over it quickly. That’s why the next day I asked if you were serious and you said yes. I thought you still meant it.”
“I kissed you, too…didn’t I?” Her voice was just above a whisper, causing him to ache inside his pants yet again.
“Yes, you did. Do you actually remember that part?”
“Yes.”
“I liked it, Gabriella.” He swallowed the tightness in his throat. It was about time that he admitted the truth.
Again, he was met with silence.
“Gabbie?”
“I did, too.”
He stood from his desk, feeling like he’d just gotten pummeled by a ton of bricks. “Where does this leave us?”
Silence.
“Fuck, Gabriella, why the silence all of the sudden? You’re driving me crazy. Just tell me, should we try this or not?”
“I love you, Logan.”
“I know, I love you too, but you’re killing me.”
“That’s why I can’t sleep with you. As worried about sex as I am, about whether or not I will be able to enjoy it during my lifetime, I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Don’t you agree?”
Should he push? Spout out all the reasons he thought it was a great idea? Should he tell her he had gone past the friendship feeling with her and into the I-like-you-in-a-sexy-way and that he damn well fantasized about her in red lingerie zone? That he would damn well make her forget her fear of getting pregnant when he was having his way with her?
“Are you there?”
“I’m here,” he replied tersely.
“Don’t you agree that we can’t ruin our friendship over this? I was drinking and brought up a stupid idea, I’m sorry. But I love you too much and want you in my life too much, to risk anything more.”
No, I absolutely do not agree with you. “Yeah, sure. I agree.”
“You do?” She sounded surprised…or let down. Most likely the latter was his ego talking.
“Yeah, sure. Are we good now? Because we have a big trip coming up. The trip of your life.”
“The trip of our lives,” she emphasized.
He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something definitely changed between them. It was present between them over the phone lines. It hung thick in the air like wet towels over a clothesline. Any moment he feared it would snap from the gravitational pull. He knew it and he knew she knew it. He didn’t mistake the lust in her voice admitting that she enjoyed kissing him. He damn well didn’t mistake the desire in her eyes when he’d told her to go to bed.
He’d have five days.
Five days in Japan to convince her otherwise.
Chapter Fifteen
Gabriella was amazed by their quick arrival into Tokyo. Having had a full-sized bed on the plane, neither of them felt any jetlag. The air was slightly brisk with the breeze coming off the water, but the sun was shining as they got into a private car that would take them directly to their hotel. It was mostly a quiet ride for the hour it took the driver to get them to Shinagawa where their hotel was located—both of them staring out their windows in awe at all of the buildings, the surrounding farmland, people and the massive amount of signs written in Japanese.
“It’s beautiful,” she remarked.
“It’s different, isn’t it?”
“Did you see all of the rice fields we passed?”
He nodded in agreement as the driver pulled up to their hotel. The cobblestone drive ran underneath part of the hotel and once the car came to a halt, two members of the valet were there to assist them out of the car and collect their luggage.
“These will be delivered to your room.”
“Thank you.”
The hotel lobby was breathtaking, but Gabriella didn’t expect anything less. The expansive space was open, completely surrounded by floor-to-ceiling windows and the steel beams along the ceiling gave it a lofty feel. The hotel restaurant was situated just inside the front doors where boxes of tea and multi-colored teapots where on display. They walked around the restaurant, following the signs pointing them to the registration desk when she caught Logan’s eye. He was smiling at her.
“Happy to be here?” he asked.
“Indeed. I’m happy that you’re happy. Are you sure you are okay sharing the same room? Different beds, of course, but close quarters nonetheless.”
“Logan, it’s perfectly fine. We’ve already discussed this, there’s nothing to worry about. We’ve shared rooms before.”
They found the little registration room with two attendants behind the desk, one on the phone, the other beckoned them forward.
“Hello, welcome.” The man’s thick Japanese accent made it difficult to understand his English.
“Hello. Logan Reeves.” He passed the attendant his passport.
“I need hers too, please.” Gabriella reached into her cross-body purse and extracted her passport.
“I will make copies and be back.”
“Great.” Logan looked at Gabriella. “That’s a little unsettling to have copies of our passports out there.”
“Indeed.” She smiled, throwing his word back at him.
The man came back and proceeded with the check-in process while Gabbie stood fidgeting with her purse, her fingernails—anything to calm her nerves. She was excited to be in a new country—especially with Logan. He had always been an easy-going travel companion the handful of times they’d gone on road trips together. This time was no different despite the absolute fool she had made of herself. It was firmly in the past at this point and all she could do was look ahead to the fabulous few days they had together here in Japan.
“What do you mean? I specifically asked for two queens.” Logan’s frustrated voice brought her out of her reverie.
“I am sorry. We do not have another room available.”
Logan let out a sigh and turned to Gabbie. “They have our room, but it’s only a king-sized bed, not a double queen like I reserved.”
Gabbie looked at the attendant who looked genuinely apologetic and immediately felt bad for him. “Look, its no problem, right? Is it okay with you if we have to share a bed? It’s a king, right?” she asked the man.
“Yes.”
“It’ll be fine. It’s big enough for two. Big enough that we won’t even know we are in it together. Are you okay with that?”
He raised his eyebrow at her as if to ask, do you remember the recent issue between us? But he stayed silent, turned to the hotel clerk and assured him it was fine. They collected their passports, the keys to their room and a few helpful maps for the city and made their way up the elevator to the eighteenth floor.
“I’m really sorry about the room.”
“Logan, don’t be. It’s not your fault. Besides, it will be fine,” she shrugged. It would be fine. It wasn’t as if Logan had any feelings for her. And she didn’t harbor any sexual feelings for him, either. They were friends. Friends that would act like adults and share a bed.
No big deal.
“Ready?” Logan opened the door to their room and ushered Gabriella in ahead of him.
“It’s beautiful. Oh my gosh, look at the little tea set. I love it. And the views!” She walked over to the window and peered out to the city. There was a lush green park sitting in between various buildings of all heights. One building had a soccer field on top, complete with AstroTurf and goal posts. In the opposite direction she could make out the numerous tracks and large building which obviously was the train station. It was all so magical.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” Logan’s quiet voice near her ear made her still. She could feel the heat from his body warming her back. If she backed up, just one step, she would be plastered into the length of him. She could barely see their reflection in the glass, could make out Logan’s features and see that his eyes were cast down, watching her.
She knew he was talking about Tokyo—at least that’s what she told herself—even though he was watching her, but his words and his gaze on her made her shiver anyway. It was a surreal moment—like she was window shopping—looking through the window to see what the couple would do next. He stood stoic behind her and all she could see of his body was his face, neck and part of his grey t-shirt that covered his shoulder.
She swallowed down the strange sensation she was feeling in her tummy and finally answered him. “Yes, she is breathtakingly beautiful. When do you have to meet Hiroshi? Do we have time for a short walk to go explore?”
She felt Logan’s heat evaporate from her backside the second he walked off. He sat down on the bed they would be sharing—something she tried hard not to dwell on.
He checked his watch. “Not yet. I need to go meet him downstairs in the restaurant. Would you care to come with? Are you hungry? Hiroshi would love to meet you.”
“No, I’m okay. You go. I’m going to freshen up and maybe when you come back, we can go look around.”
“Dying to be a tourist, are we, Cinderella?” he pinched her cheek. “I don’t think I will be long and then we can explore to your heart’s content.”
“Okay,” she kicked off her shoes. “See you soon.”
This may be more than she bargained for. Was Ginger right? Did Logan have deeper feelings for her than he let on? She didn’t think so. How could they be close friends for so long and only now develop feelings for one another? Had she brought this on when she propositioned sex? It was true she trusted Logan more than any man she knew. Maybe they should reconsider her idea—she wasn’t even sure she knew how to enjoy sex. After she had gotten pregnant, she had no one to turn to.
She had been ashamed.
She had been shocked, in denial, and scared out of her mind. How was she ever going to be Gabriella Crawford and not Tammy Crawford, if she was already pregnant right out of college? She had kept it a secret—from Brandi, all of her friends and family. She had been especially ashamed to admit it to Logan. At the time, she was afraid he would judge her and would try to talk her out of her decision. Because Logan was a family man—he loved his family, he wanted children eventually, and she had been afraid that if she told him, he would try and convince her to keep the baby.
He would judge her for not wanting it.
That was something she couldn’t bear to deal with—she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t bear to listen to him convince her to keep the baby and she couldn’t bear to keep the baby and risk becoming Tammy Crawford. Absent Mother Extraordinaire.
It had been a simple choice really. An abortion. What other choice did she have? She couldn’t possibly walk around pregnant for nine months only to give the baby away, especially because she had started her new job. She couldn’t afford to give that up.
It had been the darkest, most desperate days of her life. She hadn’t been able to sleep or eat. Literally, everything she ate had come back up. She didn’t have the wherewithal to continue in that condition for another seven months. She avoided everyone she knew, including Logan, for fear he would somehow notice she was pregnant. In hindsight, she realized how dumb that was but at the time she had been a terrified twenty-two-year-old who didn’t know which way was up.
She’d scheduled the many appointments she would need in order to get the scheduled abortion. Her tests showed she was exactly ten weeks’ pregnant. However, the night before her appointment, she had had a miscarriage. She’d awoken to massive cramping and back pains and when she went to the bathroom, there had been a lot of blood. She had been terrified and the doctor at the Emergency Room had confirmed what she’d suspected. It had been a miscarriage.
The ordeal was enough to close her off from most of the world for the following week. She had avoided Logan, as well as Brandi and Marilyn. She had stuck to her stance she’d made in high school and vowed she would never have children. She would never be dumb enough to trust someone completely to hold that fate in his hands.
So, she avoided sex. Being somewhat involved with the chef was an easy relationship because he was just as busy as she. If she was honest with herself, she knew she hid behind this façade, telling herself they were both too busy, but she liked the outward
ly appearance that she had someone, as well as the fact that there hadn’t yet been any pressure to have sex. Any relationship like that was fine with Gabriella.
But it wasn’t technically a relationship anymore. It wasn’t so much of an anything anymore…if she counted how many times she’d called and texted him in the past few weeks without hearing so much as a peep out of him. She could only assume that one, he died and couldn’t respond to her calls or two, he was done with her and didn’t want to return her calls. With option two being the most likely.
She didn’t want to dwell on the negatives in her life while she was here with Logan and about ready to embark on the most important vacation of her life. She dressed, brushed her teeth, made sure she had an extra battery for her camera and headed downstairs.
Chapter Sixteen
Damn it, he thought. He had been perfectly fine sharing a room with her, but a bed? Fucking come on. He could only play the part of a gentleman for so long. Being in the same bed with her was going to be torture although he couldn’t very well tell her that, could he? Hey Gabbie, I don’t think this is a good idea because I fucking want you – in this bed, right here, right now – so bad I can hardly keep my hands to myself when you’re around. I want to taste you, I want to take an agonizingly slow time unhooking, unbuckling and untying every fucking piece of lingerie I know is covering your body.
No, that wouldn’t work.
He’d met Lucy the day before they left for Japan and ended their fling. She had been hurt because she had confessed, she was hoping he would change his mind sooner or later and want more from her. Oh well. It was time, especially when all he could think about was Gabriella and how her pussy would feel tightening around his dick as he brought her to orgasm.