by M. Robinson
“Cuz we got big dic—”
The glare in Momma’s eyes was enough to render Owen speechless.
This was the norm in my house, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
By the time we arrived at Memaw’s restaurant that Uncle Noah had rented out for the night, everyone was already there, except for the guest of honor, Aunt Skyler. Who had no idea he was surprisin’ her with this party for their anniversary. I, for one, couldn’t wait to see her reaction.
Memaw closed down the restaurant for the private party, transformin’ it into an elegant space. Yellow linen tables surrounded the dance floor and stage, while twinklin’ lights hung from the ceilin’, addin’ the perfect touch to their romantic event.
A huge cake sat on the table in the corner, just waitin’ to be eaten. I may have been all Jameson, but I still had the Ryder sweet tooth from my momma.
It was all going to be super romantic.
There was just somethin’ about anniversaries and weddin’s that got to my heart, and this was no different. Aunt Skyler was stunned and amazed when she arrived by the love fillin’ the room from her family and friends. Uncle Noah even flew in some people from her Skyler Bell days.
I resisted the urge to ask for autographs, tryin’ to play it cool. However, I snapped a few photos incognito from across the room.
You know, for The Gram.
“Harley, that dress is everything!” Aunt Skyler exclaimed when she saw me.
“I know. I made it awesome.”
“Just let me know when to make the call. My finger is already on the send button.”
She was constantly sayin’ this to Cash and me, wantin’ to help us with her industry connections. But we were both adamant on accomplishin’ our dreams and goals on our own. It’d mean more than it just bein’ handed to us.
“Babe, you have such an eye for fashion.”
“She gets it from me,” Uncle Noah chimed in, beamin’ at her.
“You mean you own more than five white t-shirts, three pairs of jeans, a pair of combat boots, and a cut?” she replied, rustlin’ his feathers.
“I got this suit for ya, yeah?”
“I have a feeling it’s rented.”
I giggled, agreein’ with her. He tickled the side of her stomach and pulled her out on the dance floor. I watched as they took the floor front and center. Holdin’ each other tight as they danced to their weddin’ song.
They looked perfect together.
The way my aunt and uncle stared at each other was something I’d always remember. I’d meet my prince, and I’d have my perfect night too. Hopin’ he would look at me the way Uncle Noah looked at her.
Sometimes, it felt like I would never find a love like the couples in my family shared. They all had their own stories, their own battles and obstacles they’d overcome.
Where love prevailed, no matter what.
In one way or another, each of their love stories were my favorite.
Especially, my parents’.
Where my dad didn’t give up...
Until he got his girl.
I would forever be waitin’ for a love like that of my own. The older I got, the more I realized who I wanted to share my happily ever after with.
Except, it wouldn’t be easy. It never was with him. I hated him. I loved him. I wanted him to be mine.
But maybe, just maybe...
He always was.
Our eyes locked from across the dance floor just as that thought crossed my mind. Like a sign from the universe. In a room filled to the brim with people, we found each other without even tryin’ or lookin’.
As if our souls just connected.
The expression on Jackson’s face was one I hadn’t seen before. I never wanted to know what he was thinkin’ more than I did in that second.
Did he like my dress?
My hair?
My makeup?
Most importantly, why did I care?
Suddenly, Jason Mraz’s song “I Won’t Give Up” blared through the speakers and he started walkin’ toward me.
“I can see your wheels spinnin’, Harley. What’s got your mouse runnin’?”
My eyes snapped to Cash, but I was too late. He was already followin’ my gaze to what held me captive.
Causin’ him to jerk back. “Jackson?”
“What?”
Jackson had stopped dead in his tracks, givin’ me time to recover.
“No. I was lookin’ at the cake behind him.”
Cash eyed me skeptically, though he didn’t call me out on it. Instead, he reached out his hand and simply said, “Dance wit’ me, Harley.”
I bit my lip, wantin’ to look back at Jackson but aware Cash would know somethin’ was up.
What was happenin’ between us?
Pushin’ the thought away from my mind, I stated the truth, “I’ve never slow danced with a boy before. My daddy might kill you.”
“I can handle your old man.”
I smirked, givin’ into his request. I grabbed his hand. “In that case, I’d love to.”
He led us to the dance floor and molded me close to his body, pullin’ me tighter into his strong chest.
“Look at you, Cash. Is this how you score with all the girls at our school?”
He winked, guidin’ my arms up around his neck.
I squealed like a girl, impressed with his moves. “You lead?”
Ignorin’ my question, he chose that second to spin me around, and it was then I realized we’d grabbed the attention of the whole room. Momma was holdin’ Daddy back and Aunt Skyler was doin’ the same with Uncle Noah. Allowin’ me to have this moment with my best friend.
Content, I leaned my face into his chest and slow danced with him. It was around the chorus of the song when something felt different.
He felt different.
And I wasn’t referrin’ to the boy I was dancin’ with.
I swear I felt him starin’ at us, burnin’ a hole into my heart. All the conflictin’ emotions came tumblin’ down on me the further the lyrics of the melody intensified. Feelin’ like Jackson was singin’ them to me.
“We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in on us.”
Cash spun me again.
“I had to learn what I got, and what I’m not and who I am without you in my life.”
We swayed to the beat, in sync with one another. The room closin’ in on us. It wasn’t until the last chorus when the lyrics really hit home.
“Giving you all my love, I’m still holding on. Cause God you’re worth it.”
I wasn’t just imaginin’ things, it was clear as day. Fuelin’ all these emotions I couldn’t describe, or even begin to understand.
Jackson’s vicious bullyin’.
His lost eyes.
His sad soul.
His, his, his...
What the hell was goin’ on?
“Thanks for the dance, Harley.”
When I opened my eyes, I stared straight in the direction where I felt Jackson’s presence.
Thinkin’.
Hopin’.
Waitin’.
For him to be right there.
Except I was wrong, cuz...
He wasn’t.
Chapter 24
<>Jackson<>
I took an Uber back home, leaving the party early. Lying my ass off to Noah and Skyler I wasn’t feeling well, but it was complete bullshit. I couldn’t stay there for another fuckin’ second. I was livid, pissed beyond belief, and I couldn’t even tell you why.
I just was.
Harley looked so different, nothing like the girl I’d known all my life. Between her hair, makeup, heels, and stupid strapless dress, she was almost unrecognizable. It was the first time her appearance caught my attention for a completely different reason.
The Gremlin made my cock twitch.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was snapping photos of her with my phone. Unable to stop myself.
Giving the word creeper a
whole new definition.
Yet there I was, staring at the images I took of her on the drive home. I couldn’t help myself.
What the fuck is going on with me?
For a moment tonight, she had me. Like really fuckin’ had me. I was making my way toward her when Cash cock blocked me like the little bitch he was.
Every time I pictured his arms around her.
Touching her skin.
Feeling her warmth.
Her head on his chest.
The way they moved together as if they were made for each other...
Fucked with me until I saw nothing but red.
I wanted to punch his lights out, bury him alive. The irrational thoughts were taking me hostage, and I was right there along for the ride. Hanging on by an extremely thin thread. Ready for it to snap any second.
My blood was boiling, feeling fury in every inch of my skin in a way I’d never experienced before. I wanted to hurt somebody.
Him.
Cash ‘fuckin’ McGraw.
I hated him more than I hated Harley.
Once the driver announced, “We’re here.” I realized I’d spent the last thirty minutes thinking only of them.
They consumed my mind, and it felt like it’d only just started.
Stepping out of the car, I walked inside my house.
Instantly hearing Journey shout, “Ma! Ma! Ma!” from her nursery.
I barely had time to register what she said because the next voice I heard came from the person I’d least expected...
My father.
“This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?! To take my family from me!” he viciously spewed in a tone I’d never heard before.
Who was he yelling at?
I didn’t have to wonder who it was for long, because Mary Poppins quickly defended herself, “That’s absurd! I’m just trying to help, and you’re doing the exact opposite of that right now!”
The string I was hanging onto pulled me in the direction of their voices, one foot in front of the other.
Four steps.
Six steps.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine.
“Journey, come to Daddy!”
“Ma! Ma! Ma!”
He’s here... he’s really fuckin’ here.
Nineteen steps.
Twenty-five.
Thirty-one.
My heart was pounding louder and harder. Faster and faster with no end in sight.
His voice boomed off the walls and the doorway I was now standing in. “She’s not your mother!” he roared with the same rage I felt for him since my mom left us.
With no thought, no hesitation, no problem whatsoever, I sneered, “She’s the only mother Journey’s ever known!”
Both their glares snapped over to me, and I watched him come face-to-face with his reality.
I mirrored his demeanor, his composure, his downright arrogance.
Man against man.
Son versus father.
Love with hate.
There was no denying how much I fuckin’ hated him.
“What did you just say?” he questioned in an eerie, menacing tone. One that had Camila holding Journey more firmly in her protective arms.
“You heard me,” I bit, my fists clenching at my sides. “But I have no problem saying it to you again.” Stepping up to his face, I eyed him up and down.
Finally.
I could say what I’d been holding in.
For my brother.
My sister.
My mother.
The family we used to be. The love we used to share. All the admiration and respect I once held for him was gone in an instant.
I didn’t hold back, snarling, “She’s the only mother Journey’s ever known. The only father she’s ever known as well.”
He grimaced, not hiding his reaction from me.
Good.
Because I was only getting started.
“You don’t know her, and I’m not talking about Camila. Journey loves her, unlike you, who doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”
He didn’t say a thing, not one fuckin’ word. Adding fuel to the fire I felt deep in my bones.
“You’re nothing like the man I thought you were. My hero, my father, my best fucking friend...”
His jaw hardened as he held his head higher. His strong composure, disintegrating right in front of my eyes.
I grinned, feeling an intense satisfaction I was hurting him, savoring the emotion it enticed. Knowing I was getting through to him.
“After everything you promised Mom, Jagger, me, your family... you’re just like them. You’re exactly like the men who didn’t give a shit about you.”
His hands fisted at his sides, his temper threatening near the surface.
We were one and the same, but this would be a battle I’d win. Even if I killed both of us.
“How’s it feel to turn out a piece of shit like them? Huh? How’s it feel to lose everything you worked so hard for?” I mocked, fully aware this was slaying him. Comparing him to the worthless bastards who’d shit on him foster house after foster house he was placed in.
“Jackson, that’s enough,” Camila uttered in a soft voice, not wanting this war to reach a point of no return.
Glaring solely at my father, I snidely replied, “You’re not my mother. She’s gone, and she’s not coming back.”
He was teetering on the edge. I could physically see him hanging on by a thread.
“Jackson, please, just stop.”
“Oh, come on, Mary Poppins! Don’t you want to know where she is? I thought that’s what you wanted!”
We both jerked back when he finally spoke, “Jackson Pierce, don’t talk to her like that. I raised you better than this. You want to come at me, then you come at me like a man. Leave her out of this!”
“Oh...” I cocked my head to the side. “For Camila, you talk, huh? Mom would love that.”
“Jacks—”
“And you haven’t raised me for almost a year!” I reminded him. “All you give a fuck about is your goddamn hospital!”
“Watch your mouth,” he warned, getting closer to me.
“Oh, so you want to try to be my father now? Where the fuck has he been while everyone else has taken care of his responsibilities? Huh?!” I shoved him, not giving a fuck about the consequences of putting my hands on him.
He didn’t waver, not that I expected him to.
“You think I need you? You think I want you in my life? I don’t give a shit about you! Do you hear me?” I pushed him again, much harder. “Do you understand me? I don’t give one flying fuck about you! To hell with you!”
Taking one last look at him, I stated the truth, “You’re nothing but a sorry excuse of a man who abandoned his kids when they needed him the most!”
Camila gasped at the same time his hand flew back.
“No!” she yelled just as he backhanded me across the face.
My head whooshed back, taking half of my body with me. Journey burst into a fit of tears, screaming at the top of her lungs again.
He instantly reached for me, but I forcefully shoved his arms away. Even the sorrowful expression that fell upon his face meant shit to me.
“Jackson, I didn’t mean to do that! You know I would never hurt you! I would die before I ever hurt you,” he profoundly apologized in his own way, his eyes filling with regret and devastation all at once.
“Shhh... it’s okay, Journey, it’s alright,” Camila soothed my baby sister, who was screaming in her arms.
I stared in the eyes of the man I used to know. The father I admired, loved, and would have died for.
My stomach somersaulted, making me weak in the knees. The emotions were running so high, you could choke on them, making it hard to fuckin’ breathe.
In the blink of an eye, his face changed as if he was examining my appearance, searching for the boy who once loved him more than anything in this world.
He’s gone.<
br />
And you did that.
I bit back the bile rising in my throat. Briefly blinded by the overwhelming anguish you could feel in the air. With tears blurring my eyes, I looked back at him. Also looking for the father I still wanted more than anything.
“Please stop,” Camila repeated, locking stares with me. “You have to stop. Your mom wouldn’t have wanted this. No mother would.”
My eyes glazed over, triggering something deep inside of me.
She was right.
She wouldn’t have wanted this, and for that reason alone, I stopped. Seeing my mother standing in front of me instead of the woman who’d been there for us in her absence all these months.
I blinked, shifting my focus back to him, who was taking in what she had just said as well. Neither of us spoke. Even Journey stopped crying.
The end.
Game over.
I said my piece.
Slowly, I backed away before I turned and left. Leaving open wounds that may never be healed by the hands of the good doctor.
I thought this was what I wanted, what I needed, what I craved.
I was wrong.
I didn’t hate him.
I loved him.
But it hurt...
Just the same.
Chapter 25
<>Harley<>
“We gotta go,” Aunt Skyler came runnin’ up to Uncle Noah who was sittin’ next to me.
“What’s goin’ on?” he asked, takin’ the words out of my mouth.
“It’s Aiden. He just called me, he fucked up. We gotta go.”
Noah stood, and I found myself standin’ with him. Sayin’, “I’m comin’ too.”
Aunt Skyler didn’t question me, she just nodded as if she already knew my reasonin’. What I’d been askin’ myself since Jackson left the party.
With a heavy foot on the gas, it didn’t take long for us to arrive at the Pierces’ home. Uncle Noah sped the entire way there, breakin’ several laws in the process. All of us stressin’ over the anxiety of what was to come. I knew one thing and one thing only, Uncle Aiden hadn’t stepped foot in that house since his wife had died.
With my thoughts focused solely on Jackson, I moved in an autopilot state of mind, slammin’ the car door behind me. Rushin’ right into their house, I darted up the stairs toward his bedroom. My heart feelin’ fuller with every stride I made. A thin thread pullin’ me, gettin’ closer and closer to the boy who might have needed me the most.
