Hated You Then (Book One: Love Hurts Duet)

by M. Robinson

  “I don’t know. Weddings and all that, I guess. Sunshine and happiness, like Skyler always says.”

  “Oh... so you’re feelin’ nostalgic, for what exactly? Cuz I think I saw Willow around here somewhere. I’m sure she’ll do whatever you—”

  “Fuck her.”

  “I thought you were.”

  Willow was Journey’s babysitter. My old man hired her over two years ago to help when Mary Poppins went to nursing school.

  She’d sucked my cock a few times—nothing more, nothing less.

  “I’m not fuckin’ her, Harley.”

  “Oh.”

  I spun her, bringing her back to me. “Would it bother you if I was?”

  “No.”

  “No?”

  “Why would it bother me?”

  “Why wouldn’t it?”

  “And, of course, answerin’ a question with a question. How I love this game,” she sarcastically remarked, making me chuckle.

  “Everyone at school thinks you’re fuckin’ her.”

  “Everyone at school thinks I’m fuckin’ you too.”

  It was true.

  We spent a lot of time together because of our families. It was only natural they assumed something was happening behind closed doors between us.

  It was the only rumor I never denied. I don’t know why, I just didn’t.

  She rolled her eyes. “Ugh. Don’t remind me. You know it would probably help if you actually said we weren’t, so I wouldn’t have to keep tellin’ people I hate you and we’re not doin’ it.”

  “Where would the fun be in that?”

  “And by fun, you mean torturin’ me?”

  “Always.”

  “Are you ever gonna give me the videos you still have of me?”

  “Again, where would the fun be in that, Gremlin?”

  “Rudolph, you’re so lucky people are around us, or I would have kneed you in the balls by now.”

  “Since when has that ever stopped you?”

  For the reason of knowing her better than she knew herself, I blocked her knee toward my boys and tugged her closer to me. Leaving no room in between us.

  “I hate you so much.”

  “Ditto, you fuckin’ brat.”

  “What do ya want?”

  “Can’t a guy just dance with his girl?”

  “I ain’t your girl.”

  “Harley.” I grinned. “If that were true, then people wouldn’t assume I’ve been balls deep inside of you.”

  “Gross. Just the thought of that makes me wanna puke on you.”

  “Trust me, Toots, I can make you gag.” I thrusted my cock into her core.

  “Ugh. You’re disgustin’. I hope my dad saw that.”

  “Your dad took your mom into one of the rooms. They’re busy fuc—”

  “Jackson, you’re so vulgar!”

  I smiled, snidely mocking, “Your dad took your mom into one of the rooms to plow into her fruity tooty. Better?’

  “Hardly. I can’t believe you even remember that.”

  “I remember everything when it comes to you.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Cuz I hate you.”

  “Alrighty then, this was a great talk. Let’s do this never again.”

  She went to leave as the music switched over to Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up”.

  I fuckin’ despised this song, remembering back to the night of Noah and Skyler’s anniversary party.

  “Rudolph, let go of me.”

  “I’m not done dancing with you.”

  “You don’t own me. Let go.”

  “I could always show your dad my latest video. You know, the one where you’re sneaking out of your room to come to mine.”

  “You arrogant dick! I was not comin’ into your room for anythin’ other than gettin’ my homework you stole from me to hand in as yours.”

  “Considering you wrote a paper about me, I needed to make sure you weren’t making me look bad.”

  “You do enough of that on your own. And it wasn’t a paper about you.”

  “It was titled ‘Jackson Pierce’.”

  “The topic was to write about someone you’d save durin’ a zombie apocalypse. I just put my own twist on it, feedin’ you to flesh eatin’ monsters first.”

  “Says the girl who took cover behind me when we played paint ball last week.”

  “Yeah. So, they would hit you. Not me.”

  I chuckled, fuckin’ brat.

  “You just want me to protect you.”

  “If I needed protection, you’d be the last person I’d ever go to.”

  “Keep telling yourself that and maybe you’ll eventually start to believe it. Besides, I don’t have to show him that video. I can show him the one of you wearing that skimpy piece of fuckin’ string you wore to the beach—”

  She gasped. “You recorded me in my pink bikini?”

  “Amongst other things.”

  “That takes this creeper thing to another level, Jackson! You better not use it for your spank bank.”

  “Too late.”

  Her mouth dropped open. I hadn’t, but she didn’t have to know that. I loved pissing her off, it was funny.

  “If you’re gonna wear next to nothing, then I’m gonna use it to my advantage.”

  “You are disgustin’!” she restated, her face turning bright red.

  “Harley, I see the books you read, you dirty girl.”

  “Oh my God! I knew I saw you lookin’ in my bedroom.”

  “You leave the drapes open, so I will.”

  “In your dreams, you creeper.”

  “I gotta fuck my fist since I’m not fuckin’ anyone else.”

  She jerked back by my statement. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  “You’re not fuckin’ anyone else, now?”

  “I’ve never fucked anyone else, ever.”

  “You’re lyin’.”

  “No, but I will if you ever repeat that.”

  “You want me to believe you’re a virgin?”

  “I prefer to think of it as being selective as fuck. My cock is too precious. It deserves the best.”

  “You’re so full of shit.”

  “Why would I lie?”

  “I don’t know. To make me think you’re a decent guy. Girls at school talk, Jackson. I ain’t stupid.”

  “I fuck their faces, not their pussies. If they want to say otherwise, that’s on them.”

  Her gaze zeroed in on me, and I spun her again before she stressed, “I still don’t believe you.”

  I pulled her close to my chest, muttering in her ear, “I swear on my mother’s grave.”

  She winced, finally believing me. “Why?”

  “Why not?”

  “No. Answer my question. Why are you still a virgin? You could have any girl.”

  “I don’t want any girl.”

  “That makes no sense. You’re Jackson Pierce, you’re a God in this town.”

  “I prefer legend.”

  “Whatever. Why ain’t you sleepin’ around like everyone says you are?”

  “I got better things to do.”

  “Like what?”

  I winked. “Dance with you.”

  She didn’t say a word, taking in everything I just shared.

  “It’s not that shocking. My mom did raise me to be a gentleman, Gremlin. I want it to be with someone who deserves my dick.”

  Her eyes widened. “You sound like a chick.”

  “Are you calling me a pussy? Cuz I’d love to show you how much of a man I really am.”

  She swallowed hard. “You wanna sleep with me?”

  “I wouldn’t call it sleeping.”

  “Fuck me, then?”

  “Are you asking or begging?”

  “You know what I mean. Answer my question.”

  “I thought I just did.”

  “Why would ya wanna lose your virginity to me?”

  “Someone has to take yours.”


  She challenged, “How do you know someone hasn’t already?”

  “Don’t fuck with me, Harley,” I stated in a cocky tone. “We both know you won’t win.”

  “I’d never give you my v-card, Jackson Pierce.” I could see it in her eyes, she was going to say something spiteful, but I never expected it to be, “I’d sleep with Cash, who’s like a brother to me, before I ever slept with you.”

  It was my turn to jerk back, hurt.

  The chorus of the song kicked up, and the person I least expected stepped up next to us.

  “Can I cut in?” Willow requested in a sultry tone.

  I didn’t think twice about letting go of Harley. “I’d love to dance with you, baby.” Shifting my stare back to the Gremlin, looking her up and down, I spoke the truth, “Yeah, I’m done with her.”

  She glared at me, and I smirked before turning my back to her, leaving her all alone...

  On the dance floor.

  Chapter 29

  <>Harley<>

  Then: Fifteen years old

  I’d been standin’ there watchin’ them for what felt like forever. Lost in my own thoughts.

  What does she have that I don’t?

  Why do I care?

  Why am I thinkin’ about him? Them?

  Why is it botherin’ me that they haven’t stopped hangin’ out together?

  I. Hate. Him.

  But why do I now hate her? I don’t even know her.

  Why does everythin’ about her piss me off? From her hair, to her nails, to her dress... even the sound of her voice bothers me.

  Don’t get me started on the way she looks at him.

  Barf.

  Why do I feel this way?

  His words, “Yeah, I’m done with her.” Playin’ over and over in my head. Triggerin’ the ache in my heart with every word.

  “You alright?” Camila asked, catchin’ me off guard in the corner of the room.

  “Yeah, of course.” I shrugged, looking at her. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “You’ve been staring at them for the last hour.”

  “Who?” I played dumb.

  “Jackson and Willow.”

  “I think you’re seein’ things.”

  “It’s okay, Harley, you don’t have to pretend with me.”

  “What are you sayin’?”

  “I’m saying I know you don’t hate him.”

  “Pshhh... that’s funny, Camila. I can’t stand him.”

  She arched an eyebrow, cocking her head to the side as if she was calling my bluff.

  “What? I do.”

  “Hate is a strong word, sweetheart.”

  “Yeah. One that perfectly describes my feelings toward him.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “It’s okay, Harley. I won’t tell anyone, especially not Jackson. You can trust me. What you say doesn’t leave you and me, I promise.”

  I bit my lip, contemplatin’.

  “Come on.” She gestured toward the patio. “Let’s go where we can have some privacy.”

  I nodded, followin’ behind her. Genuinely curious where she was goin’ with this. As soon as we stepped outside, the ocean breeze hit me, blowin’ the loose strands of hair away from my heated cheeks. Stirrin’ shivers to course up my spine.

  “You look beautiful, Harley,” she complimented, leaning against the railin’, overlookin’ the water out on the beach.

  “Thank you, so do you.”

  She smiled, bumpin’ her shoulder into mine. “I saw you guys dancing earlier. What happened?”

  “Nothin’.”

  “This isn’t going to work unless you’re honest with me.”

  I sighed, takin’ a deep breath. “I don’t know. He’s just so confusin’.”

  “In the very best way, right?”

  “You’re jokin’?”

  “Yes,” she chuckled. “Jackson is anything but easy to understand. He’s the most complicated boy I’ve ever met.”

  “Try knowin’ him your entire life.”

  “I bet.”

  “It’s like I never know where I stand with him. Ya know?”

  “I can understand that more than anyone else. He terrorizes me too, Harley.”

  “Yeah, but at least you know he likes you.”

  “How exactly?”

  “Cuz he does it outta love for you.”

  “And how does he do it for you?”

  “To torture me.”

  “I see.”

  “Do you?”

  “Yes. I see you’re totally in denial over what you mean to him. Harley, outside of his father and Noah, you’re his best friend.”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it. “Now I know you gotta be jokin’.”

  She shook her head. “But I’m not.”

  “How do ya figure?”

  “How do you not? You’ve been there for him throughout everything. You’ve written him letters which he keeps in his nightstand.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I found them one day when I was cleaning up his room. He has a folder with your name on it.”

  “He does?”

  She nodded.

  “Why?”

  “Because he loves you.”

  “Oh my God. Now you’re usin’ the word love?”

  “He just doesn’t know it. Actually,” she thought for a second, “he does. He just doesn’t want to admit it out loud. That boy has been devoted to you since I met him.”

  “I think you might have fallen and hit your head, Camila.”

  “Jackson shows his love through his antics. It’s how he gets your attention.”

  “You sound like my memaw.”

  “I know. We’ve talked about it.”

  “You have?”

  “Yes. All the women in your family know what’s up. It’s the men who are blind to it. If your daddy knew how much you meant to him, he’d probably end up in jail for life.”

  “Wait? What? The women in my family know?”

  “Yes. We talk about it often.”

  “You do?”

  “Mmm hmm.”

  “Whoa.”

  I looked out at the water, watchin’ the waves crash into the shore. Tryin’ to reel in everythin’ she was tellin’ me.

  “We were all your age once.”

  “Let me get this straight. You guys think Jackson is in love with me?”

  “Yes... we think you’re both in love with each other.”

  I jerked back. “You think I love him?”

  “It’s kind of obvious.”

  “To who?”

  “To anyone looking. I mean you spent the last hour staring at him dancing with another girl from across the room.”

  “That’s only cuz Willow’s dress is hideous!”

  “Harley...”

  “What? Did you see what she’s wearin’? The girl is so cliché. She has no sense of personal style. I’ve seen that dress in every store. Like come on, have a little bit of self-expression.”

  “Is her dress bothering you as much as her having Jackson’s attention?”

  “A bird can have Jackson’s attention, it don’t take much.”

  We laughed.

  “Besides... her boobs are all out, so... he’s mostly been starin’ at those.”

  “Well, he was staring at yours earlier and most of the night.”

  For some reason her comment made my heart speed up. “He was?”

  “Do you know he has videos and photos of you on his phone?”

  My eyes widened. “You’ve seen them?”

  “I’ve seen him staring at them. A lot.”

  “Are we talkin’ about the same Jackson?”

  “The pain in the ass that is now officially my son? Yes, that one.”

  “I heard about that. Congratulations, and I’m sorry.”

  She giggled. “I love Jackson. He’s very much like his father. Stubborn, always has to be right, but loves with his whole heart and soul. You’re very lucky to have him.”

  “
His mom used to say that to me all the time.”

  Bailey was constantly reminding me how much Jackson cared for me in one way or another. I still remembered the last time I spoke to her before she lost it completely.

  It was the best and worst day of my life. Yet, here I was four years later.

  Still waiting for the right time to—

  “She was a very smart woman,” Camila interrupted my train of thought.

  “Aunt Bailey was the best.”

  “Willow doesn’t mean anything to Jackson.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “She doesn’t, Harley. Boys will be boys, and he is no different.”

  “They’re together a lot.”

  “Only because she’s over for Journey, but he doesn’t care about her like he does you.”

  “That’s exactly it, Camila. I never know where I stand with him. One day I feel like he hates me, then the next, I feel like I maybe gettin’ somewhere with him. And then we’re back to square one.”

  “Do you love him?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “Do I care for him? Of course, I do. He’s my family. Other than that, it’s all very confusin’. Sometimes I see these moments in him where he’s so real... like that wall he’s built comes down a little and he lets me in, and then when he realizes he did... he pushes me away again. I wanted to be his friend. Especially that night when his dad hit him, but he was so cruel. After that night, I just couldn’t deal with his bs anymore. It’s exhaustin’. He’s exhaustin’.”

  “Most men are, honey.”

  The music from the reception picked up, thumpin’ through the windows that lined the back of the buildin’. I wanted to turn around and search for Jackson, but I willed myself to stay put.

  “I want a guy who wants to be with me. The one who will do anythin’ to make me happy. The man who puts me first before everythin’ and anyone. I want the fairytale, my own Prince Charmin’. I know my worth, and I won’t stop till I find him. I refuse to settle. It’s just not in me.”

  “That’s beautiful, sweetheart. Most girls your age don’t realize that until they’re much older.”

  “I don’t think Jackson would ever put my needs and wants before his. He’s too selfish.”

  “I think he already has in ways you can’t see yet.”

  “Like how?”

  “I can’t point them out for you, Harley. It’s something you need to realize on your own. What I can tell you is you have his heart. I’ve known that since the first time I met you. The way he looks at you, the way you make him laugh and smile, the way he watches you when he knows you’re not looking. You have that boy wrapped around your finger, babe.”