The Tutor

by Kelsi Clayton

  “Given the hours you keep here,” Claire joked. “I’d bet you’ve missed more than your fair share of those.”

  “Yeah,” He admitted with a chuckle. “Do better than me and don’t let your job keep you from the important things in your personal life. See you soon.”

  “Sure,” Claire agreed awkwardly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He walked out towards the exit when the elevator doors opened, leaving the pair to head towards the dorm in the dim evening light of the city. Claire was fairly certain that was not the advice he would have given them if he had any inkling about why they were heading towards the dorms to talk. He might want her or both of them to allow themselves to have private lives but not together, and not now.

  They were the first to arrive at the dorms that evening. The other members were busy with practice or other preparatory activities but had also decided to leave Cheol and Claire time to chat on their own. She took a seat on the living room couch and waited for him to put his things in his room. He returned and flopped into the seat beside her. For the first time that day she looked up and really looked at him.

  “You look terrible,” She muttered.

  “Thanks…” He responded slowly.

  “Sorry,” Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “I just hadn’t really noticed. Did you get sick?”

  “No, I just put in some extra hours the past couple of days,” His answer was an evasive half truth.

  “I...see…” She squinted at him but let it drop. It wasn’t her place to say anything to him about it.

  “Well, you still look beautiful,” He commented with a grin, scooting close enough to take one of her hands.

  “You’re sweet to say that,” She gave him a lukewarm smile back. “Look, I think we need to be sure that this is really what we want to do.”

  “What do you mean?” Cheol asked, looking uneasy.

  “I mean even if everyone else says it’s okay,” She explained. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “Of course I am,” He said without hesitation.

  “No, I don’t want you to just react and say it,” She sighed in frustration. “I need to know that you really have considered the consequences of getting found out.”

  “Okay,” Cheol gave a firm nod. “I know that if we get caught I’ll get in trouble with the company, and at worst they could cancel my contract with them. I don’t think that will happen, but if it does, its my fault. Your job would disappear and I know that everyone else would be furious with me for that. We have to be careful and we will be. Maybe it’s stupid but I’ve put off having anything for myself for almost half my life and I finally found something I’m not willing to let go. That thing happens to be you, or being with you. I know I’m asking you to take the same risks with me and maybe if I was a better person I wouldn’t be asking you to do that. Maybe I’m selfish, but I want this and I want you.”

  “You and everyone else would be justified in resenting me for even considering this,” Claire looked down at their clasped hands. “I don’t want you to think I’m hesitating because I don’t like you. I’m holding back because I couldn’t stand it if I did something to get you hurt.”

  “I know you wouldn’t do something on purpose to hurt me,” Cheol said with complete confidence. “And anything that happens when we are together, it isn’t your fault. Not you alone. It’s us.”

  “Is that better?” She gave him a half smile.

  “Everything is better when you aren’t alone,” He responded.

  “You always manage to surprise me,” She chuckled.

  “Do I?” He looked exceedingly pleased at being told that.

  “You do, and in the best of ways,” Claire reached out and cupped his cheek, brushing her thumb over his dimple.

  “I’m smarter than I look,” Cheol laughed.

  “Oh sweetheart, you are as smart as you look,” She corrected. “But you are also wise beyond your years.”

  “Awwww, you say the nicest things.” He gushed. She gave him an exasperated look that clearly said he was being too cute again.

  “You’re really sure,” She asked again after a pause.

  “Yeah, I don’t want to live with the regret of never having tried,” His face was serious. “Maybe things will happen that we wish wouldn’t, but I would rather go through them with you than not take the risk and be without you.”

  “You don’t even know me that well yet,” She shook her head.

  “But I want to get to know you,” He prodded, running a hand over her leg. “I want to know everything about you.”

  “I’m not that interesting, I promise,” She leaned her head against the couch as she looked at him.

  “You are fascinating,” Leaning forward, he pressed a light kiss on her lips, pulling back after a few seconds.

  “Just one more thing,” She interjected after he broke the kiss. “We need to talk about some boundaries for this.”

  “Right, yeah,” He straightened up to give her his full attention.

  “If we are going to make this work,” She started gently. “Your friends deserve to have a teacher that is doing their best for them and that means they get time from me. There are going to be times when I have to come around for them and that will mean that I can’t be there just for you. It’s not always going to be clear and I am sorry about that, but if I ask for space, you have to understand.”

  “That is fair,” Cheol agreed. “I don’t want you to feel like you can’t give them your best because of me.”

  “I’m glad you understand,” She fidgeted with the ring on his finger. “Then there is just one more thing you have to promise me.”

  “What is that?”He questioned, enjoying the feel of her playing with his hand.

  “You can’t let your work suffer,” Her voice was quiet but serious. “You can’t skip out on things or give your fans any less. Not only can they not suspect something is up, but they can’t lose out on what you do for all of them because of me.”

  “I promise,” He gladly acquiesced. “I’ve worked too hard and all our fans give us so much back. I can’t let them down.”

  “I speak as a fan when I say, we love you and appreciate all of the things you do for us,” She grinned at him. “And I will hold you to that promise. No skimping, no cheating them.”

  “Hand on heart,” He took her hand and laid it over his heart with his own.

  “Then we have come to an accord,” She laughed, moving her hand from his heart to the back of his head to pull him in for a kiss. He melted into her as they let the kiss linger between them. “Oh, one more thing,” She added, speaking against his lips. “Please take care of yourself, you really do look terrible.”

  “I’m sorry,” He murmured back. “I haven’t been sleeping well.”

  “My poor boy,” She stroked his cheek gently. “What can I do to help you sleep better?”

  “Mmm, are you volunteering to take care of me?” He grinned as he scooted over to wrap an arm around her ribs.

  “You seem to do that well enough most of the time,” She pointed out as he leaned her against the arm of the couch. “But I’ll remind you when you need it. And on days when you can’t sleep, I’ll be there to drag you to your bed and tuck you in.”

  “Can you tuck me in tonight?” He hinted, stretching out on top of her. “I haven’t slept in a bed in days.”

  “Then where have you been sleeping?” She asked as he nuzzled her neck.

  “Uhhh, the study room and then the studio at KXO,” His admission was murmured against her collarbone as he slid down her body. “Not that I slept much there.”

  “Well that explains some things,” Her hands went to his shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Including these tense muscles.”

  “Ugh,” He groaned at the sensation. “Would you rub my shoulders if I asked you to?”

  “Yes, if you promise to eat something and go to bed early today,” She bargained as she ran a finger along his jaw.

&
nbsp; “Deal,” He agreed, pulling himself onto his hands and knees. Turning around, he presented his back to her and pulled off his hoodie. She scooted forward and put her hands on his broad shoulders, her thumbs making small circles in the tense muscles. He let out a contented sigh as she worked her way down his back.

  “Good?” She asked, patting his back.

  “Much better,” Flopping backwards, he lay down so his head was resting in her lap. “Now I can relax.”

  “No, now you should go scrounge some food and I should go home,” Her fingers ran gently through his hair.

  “Do you have to?” He pouted, looping an arm around her waist.

  “I have things waiting for me at home,” She confirmed. “But I’ll be back tomorrow for the K-drama and you can message me before you go to bed...early.”

  “Can I watch with you?” He gave her his most charming smile.

  “Yes, of course you can join me with whoever else decides to come,” She laughed.

  “Good,” He took her hands and placed gentle kisses on her wrists. “Can’t you stay just a little longer?”

  “I really shouldn’t,” Her sigh was soft. “But tomorrow will come quickly.”

  “One kiss before you go?” He bargained, enticing her with a sweet smile.

  “Just one?” She said in mock surprise.

  “No wait, two,” He amended, holding up two fingers.

  “Mm-mm, getting greedy,” She scolded him, leaning down to give him a quick peck on his forehead.

  “Not greedy, hungry,” He corrected playfully. “철은 배고파요.[3]”

  “Ah, well then you should eat,” She started to slither out from under him. Catching her before she could get more than a few centimeters, he pulled her face to meet his in a kiss half way. The sound of the door startled them apart.

  “Hello,” Wonjung greeted as he came through the door. “I didn’t know if you would still be here.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m heading home now,” She assured him, this time managing to get up from the couch.

  “Don’t rush on my account,” Wonjung replied as he headed to his room to drop things off.

  “No, I really do have to go,” She said as she gathered her things. “Eat something and go to bed a little early at least.”

  “I will,” He promised, following her to the door. “Be careful on your way home.”

  “Pfft, it’s not far and the city is perfectly safe,” She dismissed, smoothing a hand down one of his arms.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” He cupped her cheeks with his hands, tilting her face up towards his. Nuzzling her cheek, he settled his lips on hers again, wanting to give her a proper kiss before letting her go. He nibbled at her upper lip as he moved his body closer to hers. Her hands moved up to his waist as she moved into his kiss. A little moan escaped him as she caught his lower lip between her teeth and ran her tongue over it. He opened his mouth and she leaned in to deepen the kiss. Her fingers slid up under the hem of his t-shirt to splay over the muscles of his back.

  “Be good and take care of yourself,” She whispered against his lips, just loud enough for him to hear. “You can’t give anything your best if you’re half dead.”

  “I promise,” He grinned, kissing the corner of her mouth. Claire dropped her hands and stepped away, moving closer to the door. “Tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow,” She gave him a wave and slipped out the door. Cheol lingered, hand on the closed door, as she walked away. He felt giddy with relief and a little bit like it must be a dream. Maybe some of it was thanks to his exhaustion, but the brief moments he had been able to hold her were both relieving and thrilling. Finally the tension that had filled his body had melted away only to be replaced with an almost electric tingle. With a smile, he wandered to the kitchen to get something to eat like he had promised.

  ***

  Claire was seated on her loveseat, papers spread around her as she tried to work a little while she ate. One of her favorite programs from back home that she had watched a dozen times and knew by heart was playing quietly in the background. Tomorrow she would be meeting with Changho and Minjun and she had a few things to review for them to prepare. She was pretty much ready but it was always better to make sure.

  She took a few bites of her salad then went back to flipping through her papers looking for an interview she had read the week before. It had focused on the work of the rappers in the group, giving special attention to Changho and Jaejin in the article. It had some questions and background that she wanted to review to help them in covering similar topics in the future. She finally located it when she heard her phone buzz.

  Claire put her phone down and pulled out her laptop. With a quick search she found the lyrics of one of her favorite childhood songs. Opening the voice recorder on her phone, she moved to sit on the floor, positioning the phone on the edge of the table. With the laptop on the table beside it, she hit record and started singing.

  Well I’d like to visit the moon, on a rocketship high in the air, yes I’d like to visit the moon, but I don’t think I’d like to live there. Though I’d like to look down at the earth from above, I would miss all the places and people I love, so although I might like it for one afternoon, I don't want to live on the moon.

  ***

  Cheol heard a message come through and looked to find she had sent him an audio file. Excitedly, he hopped out of the bed to get his headphones and put them 0n. He laid back down on top of his covers and opened what she had sent. Her soft voice rang in his ears carrying the tune of something that seemed familiar but that he couldn’t place. He couldn’t help but smile like an idiot as he listened to her singing for him. His heart felt like it was going to burst with emotion.

  Opening his messaging app, he hit the button to record a message to her. “잘자 내 사랑,[4]” He said softly. “Sleep well and see you soon.”

  ***

  Claire saw the message and grabbed her headphones to listen to it with them. The sound of the soft words prickled a blush across her cheeks and made her heart skip a beat. She cleared her throat and pressed play again, smiling like a schoolgirl with a love note from her crush. Maybe it was a little silly but it was nice to have someone do those high school sweet things with her. She sent him one last message before going back to her work. Good night and sleep well.

  Chapter 7

  Claire arrived at the dorms just before eight and knocked on the door. Though she had a key, she felt more comfortable letting them come to the door when it was practical. That way she could avoid walking in on something unexpectedly. Not that she expected to walk in on them parading about naked, but you never know. It was their house after all and hopefully their sanctuary.

  As she expected, it was Cheol who came to the door and let her in, greeting her with an enthusiastic hug that lifted her off the ground. He let go long enough for her to put her things down and remove her shoes before he picked her up again, this time carrying her to the couch. He sat down, settling her so that she straddled his lap.

  “I missed you,” Cheol said, brushing an errant lock of hair off her face.

  “You brought me tea this morning,” Claire pointed out with a laugh.

  “True but I couldn’t do this,” He pulled her closer and buried his face in her neck, breathing her in.

  “Yes, thank you for holding back,” She relaxed against him. Her hand went to the back of his head, cradling it as he held her. She could hear other members filing into the room from other parts of the house, and couldn’t help but wonder what they thought at seeing them like that. Still, she didn’t want to let him go. She felt skin hungry and, while she had teased him, seeing him when she couldn’t touch him and greet him warmly had only made the wanting worse. After a moment, he loosened his arms, letting her slide over to sit beside him rather than on his lap.

  “What did you bring to watch?” He asked, fiddling with her hands.

  “It’s called Secretary Park’s Big Problem,” She replied. “It’s a bit happier
than the other one you were watching with me.”

  “Okay,” He sighed, letting her go. She stood up and dug into the bag she had brought with her, taking out a small black device and connecting it to an HDMI plug on the side of the TV and plugging it in. She then pulled out her laptop, placing it on the coffee table, and turned it on so that she could open a program to cast to the TV.

  “Hello everyone else,” She said, facing everyone else who had come into the room, which was, in fact, everyone. “Sorry if things are a little weird for now. I’ll do my best not to make things too awkward.”

  “It’s okay,” Kitae said with a shyly pleased grin from his place in the line of people in the kitchen entryway.

  “Yeah, it’s okay,” Changho agreed with his friendly curtness. Most of the rest of them nodded or otherwise expressed their approval or at least dismissal of her need to apologize. She smiled at all of them gratefully.

  “So, who wants to watch some K-drama?” She looked around at everyone, expecting only a few to decide to remain, but to her surprise and joy, everyone either raised their hand or moved into the living room to find a place to sit for the evening. FX, Wonjung and Jaejin disappeared into the kitchen briefly, but returned a moment later laden with drinks and snacks for the evening. They piled everything on the coffee table, leaving very little room and prompting Claire to relocate her lap top over to a nearby bookcase she could reach with it plugged in, but far from the risk of spilled food and drink.

  She started the program and tiptoed her way back to the couch and into the space left for her between Cheol and Hyunwoo. Taking her seat, she took one of Cheol’s hands in hers and leaned up against his side. Beside her, Hyunwoo settled in himself, flashing her a friendly smile and offering her something to drink.

  “You like K-drama’s, right?” She leaned over to ask him quietly, so as not to bother the others.

  “Yes,” He whispered back.

  “Have you seen this one before?” She queried.

  “No but read about it online when you put it in chat,” he explained.