Cheetahs Never Win

by RJ Blain

  The DA showed up ten minutes before dinner, and he brought a small army with him. Unfortunately for me, Sassy had stolen my truck and prescriptions, leaving me to fend for myself.

  Maxwell took Sassy’s spot on the couch, and I found it an unsatisfactory exchange. “You’re looking better.”

  I counted heads, wondering why the DA had brought six cops with him. “I have a feeling I’m about to feel a lot worse. I see you’ve recruited minions, Robert.”

  “I’m impressed the cat left you unattended. Four of the cops were to keep the kitty from ripping my head off.”

  “What did you do to deserve it? Anyway, she’s taking my new truck on a joy ride under the flimsy excuse of filling prescriptions. She should be back in time for dinner. What brings you over here?”

  “The infestation at your apartment directed us here,” Robert replied, and he shot a glare at my brother. “We’d been under the impression you’d be taking him home from the hospital.”

  My brother smirked and shrugged. One day, Robert would learn he’d never browbeat my brother, who spent his daily life browbeating military men who all thought they could do his job better than he could. “His truck was ready early, Sassy was driving Mom loco, and he didn’t feel up for an ambush. I gave him the choice on dealing with the infestation or our parents, and he opted to run away from the infestation. Wise, really. What do you have for us?”

  “This is the oddest thing I’ve ever done as a DA, but Chief Braneni asked for a favor, offered some friends to make it clear he means business, and sent me on over. Aaron, how would you feel about a slight shift in your career?”

  I arched a brow and eyed my coffee mug, which had an insufficient amount of coffee left to handle weird questions from the DA. “I might be infected with lycanthropy. It’ll be a requirement for at least a year after infection is confirmed unless I luck out and get an exemption for my PI license. Why?”

  “Chief Braneni got smacked with some diversity quotas to fill, and he needs a new pair. The requirement is at least one lycanthrope without the hybrid form and someone to partner with them, with a high preference for an infected pre-shift lycanthrope. When he heard you were likely infected from the accident, he started making phone calls. You would need an eighty percent chance of infection rate to qualify.”

  “Which you know I meet.”

  “Chief Braneni may have mentioned doing an official request for the information from the hospital and procured the warrant for the information under the new diversity initiative. The judge saw who was being warranted and the purpose for the warrant and said it was the best warrant he had to deal with for the entire month.” Robert chuckled and shook his head. “You’ve got yourself a few too many friends on the bench, Aaron.”

  “I find solid evidence and make sure it’s legitimate before submitting it to the attorneys or police. That helps.”

  “And that trait is what would make you ideal in police investigations. You have the experience needed, and you’re a known entity. If the force has to get used to non-hybrid lycanthropes, it’s easier to work with someone the cops are already familiar with. And let’s face it. Sassy? She’s got the skills but didn’t get lucky on the hybrid form.”

  “Cheetah hybrids are rare.” By rare, I meant non-existent. “Explain the diversity issue.”

  “It’s simple. He’s got a minimum number of women he needs to hire, and there just aren’t a lot of qualified applicants right now who meet base requirements. Sassy qualifies, but was barred due to lycanthropy. With her, she checks off two boxes, and he gets a good cop on the team. It’ll open doors for other women, too. We’re behind on women in the force here, and we’re especially behind on infected officers. We just don’t have enough bodies to handle cases dealing with infected citizens. That needs to change. Chief Braneni also wanted me to tell you he wrote in a box for pissing off the local defense attorneys, as before they got pissy over you losing them a big case, you were a major asset for them. Now you’ll be a major asset for the prosecution. It’s a win-win for me, and you would be the force’s guinea pig for how well a pre-shift lycanthrope can work on the force. It’ll also let them test out a newly shifting lycanthrope. Also, he asked me to tip you off: when he had the warrant served, you were flagged as a potential for early onset lycanthropy. It’s not confirmed, but should your virus replicate faster than normal, you’ll have liability coverage. There’s also a note that your doctor wanted to do a test in a week, but you opted to wait for confirmation at a later time. He wants to know why.”

  I pointed at my brother. “He’s going to talk to his military doctor friends with specialization in infection cases.”

  “I am?” my brother asked.

  “Yeah, you are. Those doctors just wanted to get me out of their hospital as soon as possible, so I’d like a second opinion, and you know the right people to ask about a second opinion.”

  “Wow. Since when did you develop a severe case of doctorly paranoia plus good common sense? Mom? I think Aaron’s grown up on us!”

  “Stop annoying your brother, Mark,” our mother hollered from the kitchen.

  “Mom likes me more than you right now,” I informed my brother. To make it clear I had the upper hand, I lifted my mug and saluted him with it before taking a sip.

  Robert snickered. “I see your mother is hoping for a litter of kittens.”

  “Well, Mark?”

  “I know a guy. He’ll be in touch,” my brother promised. “But seriously? Good thinking. You were let out in record time, and you’re moving worse than a cripple. I’d rather make sure you don’t need to go back into the body shop.”

  “If you find solid evidence he shouldn’t have been released, let me know,” Robert ordered. “I’ll have the information added to the case we’re building. If there’s an issue, that’ll cover him legally.”

  “Want full military certifications on the examination?”

  “Please.”

  “Consider it done.”

  Robert turned his attention back to me. “I’m hoping you’ll talk to your partner about this opportunity. You’re between contracts, and I’ve been told the next academy cycle starts in a month. Think it through. I can’t promise what the pay grade will be like, but the opportunity is there, and unless I’m way off my mark, Sassy wanted to be a cop.”

  Anyone with a pair of functioning eyes could guess Sassy wanted to be a cop. Still, I foresaw disaster in my near future. “I’m going to hazard a guess the defense firms wouldn’t overturn the blacklist?”

  “When I told them I’d try recruiting you for the police force since they’re dumb fucks, I got to enjoy watching them turn a charming shade of gray-green. Even if you decline the invitation, I suspect you’re going to walk away a winner. On the force, I expect you’ll be bumped straight to investigations. You’re known for one thing above all else: the truth prevails. That’s a win for me. I get fewer overturned convictions. It’s a win for the defense, too. Cases you run won’t be just about the verdict. It’ll be about making sure the right person’s punished for the crime. The inclusion of non-hybrid lycanthropes is still in its infancy, but you and your cheetah are the best to showcase the cause. However annoying, the felines are good at sticking their noses into places they don’t belong. You two have a healthy, long-term partnership, so the force isn’t gambling there.”

  Hell might’ve frozen over while I’d languished in the hospital. “Who are you, and what have you done with Robert?”

  “I better not hear you mouthing off to a guest, Aaron,” my mother barked from the kitchen.

  No matter what I said, I lost. “Well played, Robert. Well played.”

  The DA smirked. “Accidental, but I’ll take it. What are your odds of joining?”

  While I found the odds better than I liked to admit, I worried about Sassy. “I’ll talk to Sassy about it, but I expect I’ll have to peel her off the ceiling when she finds out. Anything else bringing you my way?”

  “While the DA’s office d
oesn’t hire PIs, I have a personal job for you and Sassy, and we all pitched in for your fee.”

  ‘We all’ could be a lot of people, the six quiet cops hanging out in the living room numbering among them. “I’m listening.”

  “It’s worth mentioning I’m covering most of the bill,” Maxwell admitted. “And I wired the full amount to your bank account yesterday. This is too important to get into a jurisdiction war over.”

  I could make some guesses: the police, the DA, and quite possibly the CDC and FBI wanted someone on the outside snooping into the serial killings. “What do you want me to do?”

  Robert and Maxwell exchanged looks, and when Maxwell shrugged, Robert replied, “Information gathering. We have a list of potential victims. First, we want you to check in on them. Watch for people watching them. Try to figure out some leads for us. Most important, we want to watch for people watching you.”

  Ah. They needed bait, and I was the one who got away. “I’m in. I want this fucker caught.”

  “So do we. I won’t lie. I expect this will be dangerous,” Robert admitted. “Despite our rocky relationship, I don’t willfully endanger people.”

  “The way I see it, I’m getting paid for the inevitable. This fucker is killing kids.” I drew in a breath and held it until I could better control my temper. “How many of the kids don’t have a father listed on their birth certificate?”

  “All but one,” the DA admitted.

  “Are you running paternity tests on the bodies?”

  “We don’t have just cause.”

  I owed my brother. “Tom Heatherow’s father lost a Presidential bid over his existence. He’s illegitimate. It’s election season. What if someone is getting rid of the DNA evidence? If you have the paternity tests done and the results on file, you won’t have to exhume the bodies of children later. Maybe you can’t do anything with the information right now, but if you do get just cause to pursue it, you have the intel.”

  Everyone in the room, even my military-hardened brother, winced.

  A better man might’ve taken mercy on them, but I couldn’t afford to. “It’s true. Maybe the father’s DNA isn’t in the system. Maybe you can’t justify obtaining a warrant to identify the father if he is in the system, but if those kids share a father, you might have an important lead.”

  “And I don’t need a warrant to identify if the victims are related,” Robert admitted.

  “Right. What’s the victim count up to?”

  “Twenty-four women, twenty-five children, and you. You’re the odd one of the bunch, and you’re the only survivor.”

  That I’d survived made me the odd one, but the dates on the scraps of paper would likely lead us to the culprit. “Did you check into the dates?”

  Robert sighed. “Yes. Using yours as proof of concept, we compared them to the birth certificates of all victims. I hate how right you are, but the paternity test will likely confirm things we’d rather not have confirmed. The dates match within eight and a half to nine and a half months of birth.”

  “Of the kids.”

  “One mother and child were born several days apart, but yes, we believe it’s for the children.”

  “Why have you delayed the DNA testing, Robert? It’s pretty glaring. It’d be the first thing I checked.”

  He shook his head. “It’s not that easy. Even if I have it done, it won’t do us any good. We can’t use the information until we have just cause for a warrant identifying the father. Even if we identify the father, the CDC doesn’t do genetic testing of infants. They want that registry, but it’s not going to happen any time soon. The current age for DNA registry is eighteen unless a crime is involved. If we attempt to get information on children with unknown fathers of that age range, all we’re doing is turning them into targets and inciting mass hysteria. We don’t have the resources to run that many DNA tests, either. There could be hundreds of children with unknown fathers of that age range in Dallas.”

  “Is there no way to get the information without exposing them as targets?”

  Robert shrugged. “Not without knowing who is behind the killings and why. The why is a solid speculation, but not confirmed. Not without running the DNA tests and figuring out the probability of relation.”

  Shit.

  The front door opened, and Sassy poked her head inside. “Two cops are blocking my spot, and Aaron’ll get cranky if I have to park his dainty truck on the grass.” She tossed a white paper bag to my brother. “You’re temporarily adult supervision. Read the labels and figure out what Aaron needs to take.”

  Maxwell got to his feet, laughed, and dug out his keys. “Give me your keys, Dan. I’ll move the cruisers onto the grass so the truck stays clean for a few extra hours.”

  One of the quiet cops guarding the door laughed and gave Maxwell his keys. “Don’t you scratch my baby.”

  “Does your baby have enough paint left to scratch?”

  “I think there’s a patch or two on the hood.”

  Maxwell shook his head and went outside to move the cruisers so Sassy could park.

  “Anything else you need, Robert?”

  “As a matter of fact, yes.”

  “What?”

  “Do you have any children that might be targeted?”

  I scowled at the question, but I shook my head. “Not that I’m aware of.”

  My brother snickered. “You’re joking, right? Aaron? Have kids? While I don’t think he’s a virgin, if you ever need advice on contraceptives, he’s your man.”

  What had I done to deserve my brother at his worst?

  “Good. That’s one worry off my mind,” Robert admitted. “When do you think you can get in your hours at the range? You need them if you’re going to think about that job offer.”

  Sassy bounced into the living room and plopped onto the couch beside me. “I just drove a cop car. I stole the keys, and I moved it so I could park faster. They drive like shit compared to your truck. What job offer?”

  “You’re so badass the cops want to see if you’ll terrorize the locals if you’re wearing a uniform. They want me to make sure you sass the civilians into submission without serious incident. However, you may want to limit your grand theft auto incidents in the future, especially when the cops are witnessing it.”

  Maxwell strolled in and laughed. “Public pitching?”

  “Witnesses if she kills me for even mentioning it.”

  “What would we be? Contractors?”

  “No, Sassy. Cops.”

  Her eyes widened. “Say what?”

  “They want to test non-hybrid lycanthropes on the force, and my infection possibility rate qualifies me. We already work well together. It seems there’s an academy training session in a month. We have a contract or two with Maxwell to finish first.”

  “Or two?”

  “They need bait. I agreed. It’ll be a change of habit, but what do you think about working for the prosecution for a while?”

  “You have got to be yanking my tail.”

  “Robert?”

  “Talk to Chief Braneni for details,” the DA replied. “It’s a real offer.”

  “I can become a cop? Without the hybrid form?”

  “Times are changing. There are enough lycanthropes now and not enough hybrids to fill law enforcement needs. With Aaron likely infected and your skills from your private investigations business, you can fill a gap in the force.”

  Sassy pointed at me. “And I’d be partnered with him?”

  “That’s the idea. Lycanthropes are often paired together like that, as mated pairs team up together. While you two aren’t mated, you’ve been working together for a long time. It’s best to keep good teams working together. You two make a good team. Anyway, Chief Braneni asked me to talk to you so you have a chance to think about it. And with that done, we’ll get out of your hair. The chief will be in touch.”

  Chapter Eight

  The pill cocktail Mark stuffed down my throat packed a punch, and had I been think
ing clearly, I wouldn’t have gotten into my new truck with Sassy behind the wheel. I would’ve crawled upstairs to my childhood bedroom and slept it off. But no, I abandoned common sense and followed the cheetah like a lost puppy in need of attention.

  Instead of taking me home, she drove me to her parents’ place and parked my baby on the grass.

  “But she’ll get dirty,” I complained. “You can’t get her dirty.”

  “Decided she’s your side chick, have you?”

  “She’s too pretty to be a man.”

  Sassy laughed and killed the engine. “I can’t argue with that logic. She’s a very pretty truck. Are you going to give her a name?”

  “Mine.”

  “That’s not a name for a truck, Aaron. That’s ownership status. And yes, she’s yours. You poor thing. Your medications are having their way with you. Don’t worry. You can go to bed in a few minutes, and no one is going to touch your new baby while it’s parked in front of a lycanthrope-infested home.”

  I liked she acknowledged her parents’ home had a lycanthrope infestation. “Why are we here?”

  “I’d like to see this serial killer invade my daddy’s house with my brothers on guard along with some friends. We’re having a sleepover party. I haven’t had a sleepover party in years. You wouldn’t come between me and a sleepover party, would you?”

  A wise man went along with what the agitated woman wanted. “Of course not. But why do you think my apartment’s unsafe?”

  “I never said that.”

  “I might be drugged sky high, but I haven’t been completely reduced to a one-celled amoeba yet. You brought me here and called in your brothers. You think my apartment’s unsafe.”

  Sassy scowled. “Mark lied to me. He promised you’d be so high you wouldn’t notice. No one is going to try anything in a house full of lycanthropes. Daddy asked the local wolves for backup. There’s a pack prowling the neighborhood tonight. If anyone shows up and sniffs around your truck, we’ll know about it.”

  When Sassy got it into her head to be stubborn, it took a lot of coaxing to get anything out of her. I either needed to push the point or let it go, and if I tried to let it go, curiosity would eat away at me until I found out the truth somehow. “Any reason you think there will be problems tonight?”