Ambulance Girls Under Fire

by Deborah Burrows

  I also looked at Leo, who was humming to the bird. When he saw us watching him he said, ‘Bobby is learning how to sing Mozart. Ich sumpte – what is the English, please?’

  ‘Humming. You are humming the tune to him,’ said Mr Levy, ‘so that he may learn it.’

  ‘I am humming to him Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, and he is learning it for our Mozart concert. You are coming, Celia?’

  ‘Yes, I’m coming. I can’t wait to hear you.’

  I said to Mr Levy in a lower voice, ‘I can’t guarantee that Bobby will be a gentleman with his language.’

  The bird had revealed a few more words in the last week or so that were not at all acceptable at a polite gathering.

  He smiled at me. ‘People seem to delight in teaching parrots to swear, don’t they? Elise can cope with a bit of language. Because she’s not a native English speaker swearing isn’t something she worries about overmuch.’ He took his hat and gave me a nod of thanks. ‘Thank you for looking after Leo. Elise will correspond with you about a suitable day.’

  He left and I turned back to Leo, who was doggedly attempting to teach Bobby to mimic Mozart.

  In just under two hours my world would be shattered into tiny pieces.

  It began at four-thirty with a sharp knock at my door. I assumed it was Simon, come early to pick up Leo. I was entirely off my guard and that’s why he was able to enter the flat so easily.

  I opened the door with a smile, expecting Simon. Cedric was standing there. He returned my smile and pushed past me into the flat.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I asked, standing in the open doorway behind him. ‘You’re not due until eight.’

  ‘Darling, that’s no way to greet your husband.’

  ‘I’m busy at the moment.’

  ‘Never too busy for me, darling.’ I had not offered to take his coat. He removed it anyway and laid it across the arm of the sofa, placing his hat on top.

  ‘Cedric, you’re not staying. Come back at eight.’

  He ignored me. Instead he turned to Leo.

  ‘You must be Leonhard Weitz.’

  Leo nodded gravely, then he stood and gave Cedric his little bow. His dark eyes were bright behind the lenses of his spectacles, and in his serious little face I thought that both his intelligence and his innate sweetness were clearly apparent. I was annoyed and upset at the obvious contempt in Cedric’s scrutiny of him.

  Cedric turned away from Leo and smiled at me. He seemed buoyant, but also edgy. It was a strange combination in a man who prided himself on his insouciance. He walked over to me, leaned in and whispered, ‘It’s all about to begin. Now that the weather has cleared there will be an aerial attack on Britain that will dwarf last September’s blitz.’

  I could smell the alcohol on his breath, and when I looked closely at him the hints were there. The edginess, a glassiness in his eyes and the slight hesitation in his movements. Cedric had always been able to hold his liquor, but I knew the signs. My husband was profoundly drunk.

  ‘Why would you say such a thing?’ I pulled away from him.

  ‘Now, darling,’ his voice was gently amused. ‘I was merely speculating. It’s what many people have been saying. As for me, I’ve been getting things ready.’

  My body tightened into wariness. ‘Ready for what?’

  He met my look blandly. ‘For our new home. I’ve rented a charming town house in Chelsea. You’ll adore it.’

  ‘I won’t see it. I’m not returning to the marriage, Cedric. I told you that. And you promised to give me my divorce. In three weeks, on the first of April. You promised.’

  His tipsy good nature was unalloyed. ‘When the troops parachute in you’ll join me soon enough. I’ll be an influential man in German-occupied Britain. These fools in the government may treat me with contempt now, but they’ll regret it.’ He flicked a look at Leo. ‘What about your little Jewish friend? How can you hope to protect him without my influence?’

  ‘There will be no invasion.’

  ‘I do wish you’d not comment on things you know nothing about,’ he replied snappishly, walking back to me. ‘I thought you had more sense.’

  Before I realised what he was about he took hold of my left hand and squeezed it hard. It was all I could do not to whimper, but Leo was watching us, so I managed to smile. Cedric released my hand.

  ‘Wear something lovely tonight. I like that silver frock. Wear that one, would you, darling?’

  I pulled away from him and surreptitiously rubbed my hand. It seemed clear that he had lied to me and did not intend to give me the divorce after all. I lost my patience.

  ‘You’re behaving like a boor. Will you please leave? I’m not going out with you tonight. I want a divorce. How many times must I repeat it? I want a divorce.’

  His handsome face twisted in a snarl and his hand snapped up as if to strike me. I put up my arm to protect my face and braced myself, but the blow didn’t fall. Cedric lowered his hand.

  ‘You really shouldn’t provoke me, darling,’ he said, and smiled.

  I turned to look at Leo, who was huddled in his chair watching us. ‘Don’t worry, Leo,’ I said, and managed a smile at the boy. ‘It’s just adults being silly. Nothing for you to worry about.’

  Leo nodded gravely. ‘Genau wie du und – I mean, like you and Simon,’ he said.

  My heart gave a thump.

  Beside me, Cedric stiffened and became very still. But when he turned to Leo he was full of smiling bonhomie, a favourite uncle or a beloved schoolteacher, someone with whom it would be easy to talk to, easy to share confidences with. Shy little Leo, who craved affection, smiled back.

  I began to speak, but Cedric spoke across me, asking Leo, ‘Do Celia and Simon talk often? Are they often silly like this?’

  Leo nodded.

  ‘And I suppose he sometimes holds her hand.’ He took my hand again and this time he stroked it gently, like a lover.

  I pulled it out of his grip, but did so with a smile because I did not want Leo to be upset.

  ‘Cedric, Dr Levy treated my hand.’ My voice was level, and although I sounded a little piqued at Cedric’s implication, I was clearly more bored than annoyed. I had to work very hard to get that tone when my heart was thumping like an express train over tracks. I caught Cedric’s eye and raised an eyebrow. ‘You remember how I injured my hand, don’t you?’

  His lips tightened, but he ignored me to ask Leo again, ‘Does Simon do that, Leo? Does he hold Celia’s hand?’

  Leo nodded.

  ‘Ah,’ said Cedric. His smile widened. ‘And I expect they go into Celia’s bedroom together, and spend time in there. Just the two of them.’ He took my hand again, and held it in a tighter grip. I tried to pull free, but his hold was like a vice.

  Leo looked at me and then at Cedric, obviously confused. Then he nodded.

  A muscle began to twitch in Cedric’s temple. He had been holding his jaw tightly clamped, and now it began to slide back and forth. I knew it was entirely unconscious and also that it only happened when he was enraged.

  ‘A Jew?’ he snarled, turning to me. His face had darkened and a vein throbbed in his temple. I seemed unable to tear my gaze away from that throbbing vein. ‘A Jew? I thought better of you.’

  ‘Nothing happened between us.’ I spoke firmly and with patience. ‘Dr Levy treated my hand. That’s all.’

  Cedric hit me hard across the cheek, a blow painful enough to rattle my jaw and make me see stars. The pain filled my eyes with hot tears and the room dissolved. When I could see again I looked at Leo. He was cringing back in his chair, head pulled down into his shoulders, watching us with a fixed, frightened stare.

  Cedric said, as if speaking to himself, and as if it were a simple statement of fact, ‘I will kill Simon Levy.’ He glanced at Leo, then looked back at me with eyes that showed no emotion whatsoever. ‘Should I kill the boy as well? He won’t last long after the invasion. It may be a blessing to the child if he were to go quickly.’ His gaze narrowed. ‘And
you really must be punished for this.’

  ‘No,’ I said quickly. ‘Please, Cedric.’ As I spoke I was thinking furiously. If I screamed who would hear? The flat on one side of me was empty, like so many flats in London nowadays. Katherine Carlow’s flat was on the other side, but she had gone out earlier that afternoon. No one will hear me if I scream. Could I get Leo outside, away to safety? Cedric stood between Leo and the door. There’s no escape that way. Cedric was drunk, but could I still reason with him?

  ‘You must be punished,’ he repeated.

  ‘Then punish me, not a child. I’m sorry I was so dismissive. Of course I’ll go out with you tonight.’

  He smiled, and turned towards Leo.

  ‘But you must be punished,’ he repeated.

  ‘Why would you do that?’ I asked, taking his arm in a tight grip. ‘He’s a child. Utterly defenceless. There’s no honour in such an act.’

  His smile widened. ‘He doesn’t matter. Don’t you see? He’s Jewish. He’s nothing.’

  ‘Cedric, you can’t—’

  ‘Everything is going to change. In few weeks we’ll be a part of something much greater. This child is a way of punishing you. And you really must be punished, darling.’

  ‘If you touch him I will kill you,’ I said, in a low voice I scarcely recognised as my own.

  There was a glint of amusement below the heavy eyelids, and the arrogant tilt of his chin betrayed his formidable confidence. Beneath it all I could sense his alcohol-enhanced excitement and allied to it was a brutality flickering beneath his smooth and polished persona, his veneer of civility.

  He shrugged, smiled more broadly. ‘No. You won’t. And, Celia, I’ll have no more nonsense about us living apart. You’re my wife. From tonight you’ll live with me as my wife.’

  The atmosphere in the room had become charged as if with electricity. Cedric looked at Leo, who was crouching in his chair, small and so very, very vulnerable. Bobby had flown up to the curtain rod and was watching the scene unfold with his round yellow eyes. Would he fly at Cedric if he tried to hurt Leo? Use his sharp beak to rend flesh and his claws as talons? He was not a match for Cedric. Neither of us was.

  ‘Guns are so noisy,’ said Cedric. ‘I won’t use the gun. Knives are messy, guns are noisy. Best to wring his neck like a chicken, don’t you think?’

  Terror had me in its chill and nauseating grip, and for want of a better plan I launched myself at him, pulling at his arm, trying to scratch his face, his eyes. I remember very little except my blind panic for Leo’s safety. Cedric laughed throughout, seeming to enjoy the fight. And, really, there was no contest. I was no match for superior weight and strength and training. I scarcely landed a blow. After a short struggle he pushed me down into the sofa and stood over me, still laughing. Then he straightened up and looked at Leo, who had wrapped his arms around his thin body in a protective gesture. I grabbed Cedric’s arm again and tried to use my weight to desperately pull him back, keep him away from Leo.

  The Warning sounded.

  The banshee wail echoed through the flat to tell us that raiders had been sighted and were on their way. Cedric flinched at the noise and stood absolutely still, wide-eyed and staring at the window. His breathing had quickened.

  Almost immediately came the rumble of an aeroplane, the push–pull sound of a Heinkel engine, coming in low.

  And it was as if a switch had been pulled in my brain, as if I had heard that small, still voice, the one that our vicar spoke of when he gave his sermon about Isaiah in the cave. All at once I knew exactly what to do. I had two cards to play. Cedric was extremely drunk, and he was not used to air raids. We’d been in a lull since he had arrived back in London and anyway, the noise of an air attack was muted almost to silence in the Dorchester. I had a minute at most, I thought, maybe two.

  I screamed.

  When I had Cedric’s attention I spoke in a voice that throbbed with fear. ‘We’ve got to take cover. There’s a shelter in the basement.’ My voice rose to become a high-pitched wail. ‘I was trapped for hours in a bombed building. I can’t go through that again.’

  Cedric hesitated. He shook his head as if to clear it. I screamed again, jumped up and took his arm to pull him with me towards the doorway. He came with me, step by hesitant step. We were close to the door now. The sound of the Heinkel was louder.

  My voice was high, terrified. ‘We must get away from the windows. Shattered glass rips exposed skin into shreds.’

  He flinched, raised a hand protectively to his face. I pulled the door open. The corridor lay beyond.

  ‘We’ve got to get out,’ I repeated, louder. ‘We’ll be killed, maimed, scarred for life. Oh, Cedric, if you’d seen what I have seen in the past few months—’

  There was confusion in his eyes. ‘How long do we have?’

  ‘Not long. They’re directly overhead.’ I spared a look at Leo. He was sitting up in his chair now, staring fixedly at Bobby, who was perched high on the curtain rod above the window.

  Next came the ghastly swishing, shrieking noise a bomb makes when it is plummeting to earth. It always seems to be heading directly for you and, believe me, it is a terrifying sound. Cedric ducked down, tucking his head into his shoulders, much as Leo did when he was afraid. Imminent death is a great leveller, I thought, with a touch, just a touch, of contempt. But it was satisfying to watch all Cedric’s careful insouciance flee at sounds I’d had to cope with, night after night, for months.

  Cedric thrust himself through the doorway first. I had a wild hope that I could escape him, but he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him out of the flat. As he did so I called back to Leo, ‘Stay inside the flat. Don’t open the door to anyone.’

  There was a sound like crashing thunder as the bomb exploded. The door slammed shut behind us. I made sure of that. It was a solid door and made a satisfyingly loud thump as it closed. And then I was standing with Cedric in the silent corridor and Leo was safe behind the locked door.

  That is how Bobby the African Grey parrot saved Leo Weitz. Would Cedric really have murdered a child? He had killed before, of course, when fighting in the Great War, but it is a leap, even if drunk, to go from killing an enemy soldier to murdering a child. The point is, when I thought Cedric was about to kill or at the very least hurt Leo, I was powerless to protect the boy. It was Bobby who saved Leo and he did so with an imitation air raid of epic proportions.

  ‘Has the raid finished?’ Cedric seemed confused.

  I swallowed. ‘Sometimes they are very short. The daylight raids in particular. One or two planes only.’

  He glanced at the door. ‘And I suppose you forgot your key?’ His cool composure had returned and a small smile played around his mouth, under his carefully cultivated moustache.

  ‘He’s a small boy, Cedric. He’s of no consequence. Leave him.’

  ‘Do you have your key?’ he said, his tone sharpening. ‘My coat and hat are in there and it’s very cold outside.’

  ‘No.’ I held my arms out. ‘Feel free to search.’ I was wearing a thin woollen frock and there were no hiding places or pockets.

  Thoughts raced through my mind. Leo was safe for the moment, but he was alone and scared in my flat. What if he left his place of safety and came looking for me? And what of Simon? Simon. If he arrived to collect Leo then Cedric would try to hurt him. Maybe he would kill him. Cedric had mentioned a gun.

  ‘Tell him to open the door.’ His voice was louder now. ‘I won’t hurt the child. Honestly, Celia, do you really think I’d have murdered that child? I wanted to frighten you and I did. The child was always perfectly safe.’ He moved his neck from side to side as if to loosen tense muscles. Frowned at me. ‘Tell the boy to open the door, please.’

  ‘No.’

  His eyes narrowed. ‘Is your Dr Levy expected back soon?’

  ‘I was to return the boy to his home,’ I lied. ‘It was all arranged. Dr Levy is not coming here.’

  ‘Celia, it’s cold outside and I need my hat and coat.
This is ridiculous.’

  He took a step towards me, smiling. It was a charming smile, but his fist was clenched. I felt a shiver run up my spine and my heart began to hammer in my chest.

  We both started at a clanking, shuddering sound, the sound of the lift as it stopped at my floor. My heart gave a painful jerk. Simon. The cage was pulled across. Katherine Carlow emerged and began to walk along the corridor towards us.

  Katherine gave me a smile and Cedric an appraising look.

  I nodded at her, murmured, ‘Good evening, Katherine.’

  ‘Good evening, Celia,’ she replied. As she came closer surprise registered in her face, then her eyes narrowed. ‘Hurt your cheek?’ she asked.

  Cedric’s face twisted as if in pain and he turned away from her. I put up a hand to rub my cheek. It was very sore from Cedric’s blow and as my skin is very fair I knew the bruise would be already colouring up splendidly. As I said before, Katherine is quick at picking up social nuances and she is very observant.

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said. ‘My husband is just leaving.’

  Katherine nodded and carried on walking along the corridor to her door. She looked back at us, turned the key and entered her flat. A few seconds later her head popped out of the doorway.

  ‘Do shout out if you need anything,’ she said. ‘Anything at all. My hearing is excellent and I’m sure to hear you.’ She shut the door behind her.

  Cedric inhaled slowly and as he exhaled the tight muscles in his face loosened. He gave me a tentative smile.

  ‘This is ridiculous.’ His expression was now one of amused frustration. ‘I cannot believe that you, even for a moment, thought I’d harm that child. We’ve been married for three and a half years. Did you ever, in all those years, know me to be violent?’

  ‘Your followers were violent. You hurt my hand at Quag’s. Just now you struck me. And you terrified Leo.’

  He shook his head. ‘You can’t hold me responsible for my followers’ actions. As for me… Celia, you must know I’d never have hurt the boy. I was angry and I wanted to frighten you. I struck you because I was enraged.’ He grimaced. ‘It was unforgivable, I know, but the thought of you and that Jew – I’ve never felt such rage before. Celia, I love you. How am I supposed to respond to news like that? As for your hand, I had no idea I’d hurt you so badly at Quag’s. You made no sound, gave no indication that I was really causing you pain. I’m so sorry that I did.’ He seemed calm and very sincere, but the glitter of inebriation was in his eyes.