Lochlan (Broken Deeds MC, #5)

by Esther E. Schmidt

  Nonetheless. “We need to make sure you’re not pregnant,” I growl somewhat louder than I intend it to come out.

  Anger and hurt wash over her face and yet her voice is as sweet as dripping honey when she says, “Why don’t you get out of here, buy a nice juicy ribeye, and choke on it.”

  Okay, the choke on it part is where she’s seething and I feel a hand gripping my shoulder, pulling me back while spinning me around, right before a fist hits my eye.

  A guy with red hair gets in my face and snaps in a low voice for my ears only, “It’s medically impossible for her to get pregnant, asshole. You heard her, and now I’m telling you...get the fuck out of my bar.”

  What? That can’t be...it’s medically impossible for me too. After what happened in my past, I had myself fixed. I mean, if you don’t want something, never asked for it, and get it anyway, only to realize you fucking love the shit out of it, and then have it ripped away from you in the worst of ways...let’s just say I never want a repeat ever again.

  But I know there might also be a few percent risk with how life finds a way and your body healing...I never want to take a risk ever again, so I needed to make a hundred percent sure no swimmers ever take a dive into a pussy, one percent risk with me fixed or none, my head can’t deal with it.

  Yet now? My heart drops and it’s not only shame that overtakes me but confusion and anger. Anger at myself for deflecting my own fears on someone else who deals with fucked up personal things. Personal shit I don’t know a damn about because I don’t even know her well enough. Fuck. I watch how Xena is rounding the bar, half limping and trying not to put too much weight on one foot.

  “What the hell happened to you? You can barely walk,” I ask again, trying to ignore her brother who’s still in my face, but turns to check on his sister.

  She narrows her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

  “When we got here to pick you up, she was barefoot and sweeping the floor, glass was everywhere and she stepped in some. It looked like a broken whiskey bottle,” Kray easily supplies and it’s like I’m being stabbed by a shard of glass because my memory doesn’t fail me when I clearly remember throwing a whiskey bottle against the wall.

  Fuck.

  “It’s my fault,” I mutter to myself. “I threw the bottle, didn’t I?” I ask her, emotions taking over and making my fucking voice crack.

  “It’s nothing, I’m fine. You obviously had personal things to deal with.” She directs her attention to Kray, “Which is why I asked you to keep an eye on him.”

  She asked Kray to keep an eye on me? There’s the reason why he has her number. This also makes me realize—along with her brother’s words and his fist to my eye—she wasn’t lying when she told me about not needing the morning after pill.

  Fuck life for making me doubt all women because of one rotten apple and I know it’s not an excuse but come the hell on, it’s making my head spin even more because it crushes my damn heart to know she’s hurting because of me. I made a dick out of myself and lashed out at her while all she does is make sure I’m okay.

  Wait. “If you cut your foot, why the hell are you standing on it?” I growl.

  “That’s what I would like to know,” her brother adds in an angry and concerned voice.

  “Because Bill called in sick, and everyone else is working and it’s kinda busy as you can see. And why in the hell are you here while your ass should still be in a hotel, sucking up vacation time?” I’m actually glad her anger is directed at her brother and not at me.

  Great, my cock is hard by her lashing out with that pierced tongue while those fiery red locks of hair wave around from pointing an accusing finger at her brother.

  “I don’t like vacation,” her brother grumbles. “I had enough of doing nothing and was itching to get back to work, even before I got the call I was needed back. I’m here now, you’re going upstairs to rest. I’ll take the couch, and you can still crash in my bed while you’re apartment hunting, okay?”

  “She can’t go up and down the stairs. And what’s up with apartment hunting?” I ask her brother while Xena grumbles something that sounds like “None of your business.”

  “My sister here, in case you didn’t know yet, is a ‘dive in head first, ask questions later’ girl and once again gave up her apartment before finding a new one. Hence the reason she asked me if she could crash on my couch but you just heard me offer her my bed instead because she’s hurt.” He eyes me a moment before glancing at his sister and back to me when he adds, “Or do you have a better option? Seeing you owe her with this shit being your fault and all.” The fucker crosses his arms in front of his chest and narrows his eyes at me.

  I offer him my hand. “Lochlan. And yeah, I do have a better offer. A space without stairs and someone who will keep an eye on her to keep her foot elevated.”

  “I’m standing right here, you idiots, and a hotel is right around the corner. I won’t be needing the couch or your damn bed, Abel. And who the hell called you? You know what? Never mind,” Xena seethes and spins on her heels—or fucking tries to.

  I manage to grab hold of her elbow, giving her support while she finds her balance. She growls at me and rips away from my grip.

  “I called him,” North quips. “Your worries for Lochlan, and the way you put them above your own...add the way Lochlan reacts around you but was sleeping off his hangover, we took it upon ourselves to take his place and look out for you. Hence the reason we informed your brother of the fact he was needed back at the bar.”

  “Cool, it’s settled then,” her brother, Abel, states.

  I give him a nod in return, taking the opportunity to take care of his sister with his blessing. I damn well owe her with me being the reason she sliced her foot open in the first place. Not to mention I need to make up for the fact I acted like a jerk and I get the feeling I don’t even know half of it.

  Bad idea, fucked up timing with it being Harmony’s birthday today out of all days, but I have to put my own shit aside to step up for Xena. She did the same for me, and like I said...I feel like I owe her even more than that by the sound of what went down last night and mere minutes ago.

  “Nothing is settled, bozos,” Xena snaps. “I don’t need jack shit from any of you. And seeing you’re back from vacation, you can run your damn bar yourself. And you two, Kray and North, keep an eye on your bestie so he doesn’t cause any more destruction, mainly to himself. I’m going to grab my bag and head for some peace and quiet since I’m not able to audition anyway so I’m the one with vacation time now.”

  “Stop calling a brother a fucking bestie. The term bestie is reserved for women, not dudes.” I sigh, and know damn well she uses the word bestie to taunt and annoy because the way she pronounces it...it leaves little room for confusion.

  “Whatevs’,” she snaps in the same tone and stomps her foot, the injured one, making her curse and scream, “Ouch.” As she closes her eyes I can tell she’s bracing herself to wait for the pain to fade.

  Pain which slices straight through my chest. This damn woman. The first woman who shakes my life in a way where I want to ride every wave. Crazy. And even though it scared the shit out of me at first...I’m now intrigued with every new detail I get, every chance to learn more about her and her damn unselfish ways, looking out for me instead of taking care of herself first.

  And I do need more, for now at least to figure her out or hell...to keep it to her terms; become besties. This realization makes my decision even more final than it already was.

  Killing two birds with one stone, I pick her up in one swoop to get her off her feet. “Kray, go get her bag from upstairs. She’s coming with me.” She starts to wiggle and I tighten my grip. “Stop wiggling. I don’t want to drop you and that foot of yours needs to be taken care of. You’re spending the next few days in my company, and hey...look at it this way, you don’t have to ask Kray and North to keep an eye on me. You can do it yourself while I make sure your foot heals. And you kinda owe me since I�
�m the one who smashed the bottle that caused you to step on glass. Soothe the guilty ache I have in the pit of my stomach, Xena.”

  All she does is glare at me, but at least she stopped wiggling. I can see her thinking and like I mentioned, she’s unselfish and lets me talk her into giving me a chance to fix the guilt I have by throwing a guilt trip back on her. No fucking way she’s gonna reject me, I damn well know it deep down.

  “Got it,” Kray states as he holds out a large duffel bag. “Or I assume it is since it was the only bag in plain sight.”

  The woman in my arms keeps her lips sealed but her brother answers for her. “It’s hers. And I’ll be expecting daily updates, Lochlan. And if I so much as hear she’s being mistreated.”

  “I know how to fucking respect a woman, no damn way I’ll disrespect her.” I should add ‘again’ to my statement. I did a piss-poor job of respecting her when I came barging into the bar earlier.

  As I glance down, I’m caught by Xena’s glare and she even manages to raise one of her perfectly groomed eyebrows as if she’s heard what just went through my mind.

  Fuck it. “Tough luck, rusty fox. You and I are gonna be fucking besties.”

  “Fine,” she growls in defeat. “Minus the fucking, though. Because I’m not going to do anything that might involve intimacy. No touching either. Not even with a ten-foot pole. Besties or not, I consider you a straight A-asshole.”

  “I can live with that.” I chuckle, shoot her a wink, and lower my voice to a seductive caress near her ear. “For now, ‘cause I’m always up for a challenge and I consider you, a straight A-adorable woman, a little hothead at times too. One this asshole will keep in check while helping your adorable, yet hot, ass get back on your feet. Or so to say.”

  Fuck. Where the hell did that came from? She’s dangerous. I already knew, it’s the reason I always kept my distance...but I guess we’re about to find out to what extent.

  Chapter 04

  ***Xena***

  He set me on top of the mattress then the straight A-asshole walked across the room, grabbed some files and plunked down in a chair. Oh, not before he handed me some painkillers and told me to rest. He said he could tell by my face how my foot was giving me trouble and I could take a shower later when the painkillers kicked in.

  Well, yes, a kind gesture, but come on...as if all the men around me have gone berserk and team up while trying to run my life. My life. I never hand over any decision. I always take my own, hence it being my own damn life.

  Like now. My fingers dance over the screen of my phone to text my best friend. Doll will come and get me out of here. Or at least let me spend a day or two at her place. It would be nice, knowing these bikers stick together. It’s not like Lochlan owns me. Nobody owns me. And I for sure don’t owe him any loyalty.

  “Asshole,” I mutter, frustration boiling over.

  The way he threw out how I needed to get the morning after pill. Not to mention the utter look of panic in his eyes. I remember when I first met him, how I mentioned the beaded bracelet around his wrist, he said his kid made it. I was about to apologize for my snarky remark, but the way he said it? It was a defense mechanism kicking in, loud and clear. I called him out on it but there was something in his eyes that caught my attention.

  I didn’t say anything then...but his outburst in the bar? Demanding me to take a morning after pill...shit. There’s something going on with him alright. I’m fairly sure he keeps it all inside and even his brothers don’t know what he’s struggling with. What it is? I have no clue, and yet deep down I know it’s got something to do with a kid. Maybe he lost one or an ex is preventing him from seeing his kid? Maybe he was the one unwanted...something about his parents maybe?

  Ugh, shit. See? I don’t need a mess of things to clean up. I have my own stuff to deal with. An injury that will take time to heal and prevents me from doing my job. It’s not like I need the income, I’ve saved up enough to keep me floating for a few years, but I happen to love what I do. But I had the bright idea of moving again so now I don’t have a nice place of my own to put my feet up without bothering anyone else. Talk about shitty timing.

  Every once in a while, I switch apartments. And this time the reason for doing so was because I wanted to live closer to my best friend, Doll. I’m always one who lives in the moment, my brother wasn’t kidding when he mentioned it to Lochlan. I always do and maybe along the way my head will kick in, but the rush of the moment is where adrenaline spikes, making the unexpected so much more fun.

  Muttering to myself doesn’t have any impact on Lochlan who’s got his nose in some papers. He’s reading and checking photographs. I have no clue why but when my phone dings with an incoming message, his head flashes up and his eyes lock on mine.

  I ignore him and check the message Doll sent me. Dammit. How can Ramrod tell her she can’t interfere? She’s my best-freaking-friend. Ugh. I glance at Lochlan who flat-out smirks at me. Asshole. He probably knew I’d reach out to Doll and made sure his buddy backed him up.

  Change of plans. Annoy the asshole until he’s fed up with my presence. “What are you reading? Anything interesting?”

  His eyes leave mine and slide down to focus on the papers he’s holding. “Work,” he grumbles.

  “Ah, can I help?” I offer.

  Doll told me a little about how this MC works. They solve cold cases or cases where law enforcement’s backs are against the wall. Then these guys take over and handle it accordingly.

  “No,” he snaps without looking up.

  “Oh, come on. I’m smart, good with solving puzzles, watch the news and lots of crime series and such. And it’s not like I have anything else to do. I could give you my highly valuable input. Maybe even solve the case for you guys.”

  Okay, I meant to snag his attention by stating this but I didn’t expect him to rise up—papers and photographs littering the floor—as he stalks toward me with some serious fury painting his face.

  “Doll spilled club information?” he growls.

  Well, damn. “She’s my best friend...and I might have twisted her arm a bit. I swear I never told a soul, I’d never betray her secrets. I mean, I only told you because you’re a part of this MC and obviously know how things work. I only wanted to help you out. Never mind. It’s nothing. My lips are sealed. Consider the last few minutes nonexistent and we’ll be all dandy. Besides, you and I are supposed to be besties too. Best friends keep secrets and don’t go all explosive and killer eyes on each other when someone knows something about someone and this someone,”

  “Stop talking, you’re rambling,” the asshole grumbles and sits down on the bed, making the mattress dip. “You can’t ever mention, or even hint about, this stuff to strangers. Also, be sure to keep your lips sealed when my Prez or any of my brothers are around for that matter. Only ol’ladies have the honor of knowing some club business. My Prez’s ol’lady helps from time to time with some of the cases. I’ll allow you to help, if you will stay here until you find a place of your own. Allowing your foot to heal in the process. And just so we’re clear...all of this stays between us,” he groans before adding, “between besties. Got it?”

  The corner of my mouth twitches as my heart skips a beat. He said besties. Yup, immature, but I like to tease others with it and I got him to say it too. It just makes me all giddy inside. “Got it. And yes, deal.”

  Have a roof over my head and get to know if this asshole has more sides to him than the inked up muscled and the flip of a coin attitude? Sign me up.

  Wait. “There’s only one bed.”

  “Noticed that, huh?” Lochlan chuckles. “You’re right, you are smart.”

  “Well?” I question while scooting away from him.

  His huge frame suddenly takes up too much space around me, even if he’s only sitting on the side of the bed, I can’t imagine sleeping together in it.

  “We’re sharing the bed, Xena. We’re both adults here,” he snaps and stands to make himself busy with snatching up the pa
pers littering the floor.

  “Right. No touchy feels with you being allergic to having sexual contact, making you lash and freak the fuck out. Come to think of it...I’m pretty damn safe sleeping next to you without a single worry of you pulling another stunt like filling me up in one stroke and falling asleep right after. Oh, no, wait...even that’s safe enough.” I roll my eyes and feel some of my anger rising again.

  He’s such an asshole with his whole attitude merged like a rubber band, stretching with the threat of snapping on every turn.

  “What do you think you’re doing?’ he growls. A lot, growling seems to be his thing.

  I don’t give him a glance but start to undress. “The painkillers should have kicked in already but my foot is throbbing like crazy. I need to get the tape off. I’m going to take a shower after I’ve pulled it off and cover the stitches so they won’t get wet. See? I can take care of myself pretty damn well.”

  “No. What I meant was, what do you think you’re doing walking out while we’re having a discussion.” Surprise, surprise, the annoying man growls.

  “Well, excuse me, asshole. I was under the assumption you didn’t want to discuss your highly sensitive reaction to last night and a few hours ago. But by all means,” I let myself drop forward on the mattress and place my elbows on it, taking my head in my hands, I add, “I’m all ears.”

  “I have issues.” He sighs and scrubs a hand over his face. “Women tend to lie, and in some situations, have all the power to twist your balls.”

  “Wow,” I breathe, suddenly it clicks. “Your ex really did pull a number on you.”

  His gaze hits mine and I actually have to do a double take at the emotions swirling in there. Fear, anger, loss, pain...so much pain my heart squeezes for this man. Understanding dawns. The bracelets. My eyes travel to them and back up, he catches the movement and winces.

  “Okay,” I softly tell him and shrug. “Don’t worry about it. All is forgiven and besides, I’m the one coming out on the winner’s side with a warm bed at night right near my bestie. Oh, and gaining a bestie. Let’s not forget about that little fact, huh? Yeah, lucky me. Except for the cut on my foot. I’m not able to audition and you telling me to let it heal...I’d like some chocolate. You know, extra compensation. If you don’t have it, tough luck, go get on that bike of yours and get some for me.”