by Love Belvin
I sucked in a breath when I heard his padded steps nearing the bed. That’s when I realized I’d taken a mental trip—again—tonight. Sadik was lifting the covers with one hand and reaching for me with the other. Once he was satisfied with my location, he slipped beneath the linens and spooned me, chastely kissing my shoulder. I twisted around to face him, effectively guiding him to lie on his back, then straddled him. Leaning over to meet his face, I kissed him sweetly, shuttering when I felt his cool palm on my hinds.
“Look, Bilan—” he tried when I withdrew, my fingernails scraping down his five o’clock shadow.
Then I crawled backward down his hard frame until my face met his crotch. Swiftly, I flipped around, bringing my knees over his chest so my head was toward his legs and my feet near his shoulders. Sadik growled with animalistic fervor as he leapt in the air, burying his face in the seam of my butt.
I scooted up and hissed over my shoulder, “No! Lay back.”
Slowly, he obeyed, laying back. I knew what I was doing, understood the torture of it on his part. Sadik loved nothing more than me spread for him, but tonight, I had my own agenda. I began with soft kisses on his member swelling in my palms. I reverenced everything about the man, from his brain that stimulated me to his appendage that pleasured me, and his feet that wanted to lead me. My tongue ran greedily across its bulbous head, then pulsing veins zagging all the way to the root.
That quickly, I decided I enjoyed this; it was my pleasure. Sadik’s body beneath me was tense and vibrating. He didn’t enjoy being in timeout during intimacy. And I added to his torture by wiggling my ass, making my cheeks clap so he could smell me.
“Yo, Bilan,” he groaned, warning in a way that would threaten an unknowing party.
But not me.
I took him deeper into my mouth, tightening my grip on his thick root. Then I jerked him, slapping his head around my tongue. The sound was libidinous and I felt emboldened. His rigid legs kicked out, then pushed back together. I cupped his sacs, feeling how loaded they were. My fists moved faster, jaw suctioned harder, tongue moved with more aggression. Doing this not only pleased Sadik, it brought me immeasurable pleasure, too. My sex danced in the air, lubricating with need. The thicker he grew in my hand, the more drenched I became, and the harder I worked.
My commitment was to the whole night if that’s how long it took him to find a release in my mouth. I moaned over him, loving his warmth around me, relishing in his natural scent, aroused by his heat. The apex of my areola rubbed against his bubbling abs like they did this morning, driving me insane.
“Shit!” he swore. “Bilan, please…” he cried. “Just let me touch you, baby. Let me make you cum.”
Stubbornly, I stroked faster, harder, and rocked my hips over him more, releasing more of my aroused scent into his face. Seconds later, his body began to quiver violently beneath me.
“Bilan…” he groaned. “I’m sorry, baby.” His cry grew imminent. “Hold up!” he choked out, his legs lifting, pelvis pumping to my face. He moaned deliciously as I worked with vehemence. Then his palm was on my neck, pushing the head of him farther down my throat. “Fuck!” he croaked.
Seconds later, I felt warm cream squirt into my mouth, down my tongue. It was easier to process it this time. Sadik’s heavy arm didn’t let up so easily. I had to manage the water hose of his hot release and breathe, but his cries of helpless pleasure made it all worth it. He let up when he couldn’t take my onslaught any longer.
I crawled down his legs to sit next to him on my knees. Sadik sat slumped over as though inebriated on a street corner. His heavy breathing was violent, chest heaving visibly. Swallowing the last of him, I wiped my mouth as I waited.
An index finger raised in the air. “Don’t. Ever. Do. That. Shit. To. Me,” he growled between breaths.
My face opened alarmed. “What?”
“Manipulate me with sex. Don’t make me powerless!”
“I didn’t—”
“You did!” he shouted. “You took advantage of my…” He couldn’t catch his breath. “…vulnerability because…you know you fuckin’…can.”
Is that what I did?
I shuffled closer to him, my hand going to his clammy, taut back.
“That’s what I thought you did to me earlier. I thought you took a piece of my inexperience and vulnerability and manipulated it for your selfish agenda. I was deliberate, yes. But was I selfish and manipulative? No.”
“Then what the fuck was that, Bilan?”
“Miscommunication, I now see.”
“What?”
I rolled my eyes in the darkness of the room. “While you were gone, I had time to think about your announcement of being in love. I don’t know when it happened, but you never shared it with me when it did. And when you thought it had happened to me, you took the next logical step—in your mind—and brought me home to meet your family. They were left in the dark, too. Those people had no idea what I was doing here.”
“What’s the fuckin’ point?”
“My point is: we need to communicate more. Better. You began developing deep feelings for me at some point. You should have told me, just like I told you when I realized it yesterday.”
“Bilan, I told you, I’m not a man of a lot of words. I say what I mean and that’s it for me.”
“But what you’re proposing of me doesn’t work with that attitude or state of mind. Marriage, Sadik? Kids?”
“And? What’s wrong with that?”
“The fact that marriage is a partnership. I don’t know what type of union your parents have, but mine was crappy. My father dictated. My mother knew he wasn’t that strong of a leader, yet followed anyway.”
“What the fuck are you saying?”
“I’m saying I need time. I’m saying even though I’ve been laying here in bed for over an hour, mulling over scenario after scenario about where your mind was when you made that announcement, I finally came to the conclusion there was no malice on your part. You saw me crack and took your shot. The thought of you having deep feelings for me warmed me. It made me feel…”
“Loved?” he hissed.
“Pursued in earnest.” I held my breath.
Sadik croaked a laugh, grumbling, “Fuckin’ asshole.”
He grabbed me, lifting me onto his lap in two rapid movements. A guffaw ripped from my lungs as I was being manhandled. He kissed my exposed throat.
“What’s it going to take for some reciprocity here?” He bit my ear.
“Time.” Another thought flashed. “And assurance.”
“Assurance of what?”
“Assurance that you don’t want an arrangement: you want me exclusively.”
He snorted. “What else would I want?”
I paused, choosing my words wisely. “Sadik, why does your father have not one, but two girlfriends? Why was Tom Banks fondling your mother in the hall of the home she shares with your father? And at dinner, he sat right next to her. And your father… He kissed both those girls, dismissing them after dinner. You can’t tell me that was appropriate.”
After a long breath, Sadik used his remarkable strength to pull us up to the head of the bed, where he leaned back on the mountain of pillows. Then he arranged me comfortably in his lap.
“My parents are…unique in their union, but they’re very much committed to their marriage.”
I scoffed. “That’s clear.”
He nodded, pacing the topic. “For years, my father struggled with infidelity. Some months, he was totally faithful to my mother. When I became an adult, he once confided in me, after Taaliba was born, the longest he’d abstained from other women was a year. His needs changed, his appetite broadened. She knew it and fought with him in the earlier years, according to her, until she got tired. She packed up her things and moved to the other side of the house—had a second master bed added on. My father allowed it to happen. What he didn’t realize was while he was out fulfilling his physical needs with women, he neglected my mother’s emo
tional ones. For years, she said she didn’t even desire sex, just companionship.”
“Whoa…” I breathed, lost in the story.
“My father saw she’d taken on telephone and texting conversations with other men and okayed it, believing them to be harmless. The trick with that was, when she began to have her emotional needs satisfied, her physical ones returned. My father approved of platonic relationships and even would allow Jake, my mother’s first friend, to come by. That was until he caught them on camera in the pool.”
He shook his head, blinking hard. “I don’t know the details of what he saw, but it was clear my mother and Jake’s rules of engagement had changed. That’s when all hell broke loose. For three years straight, they fought, and hard. The weekly dinners were tense and sometimes canceled. They wouldn’t look at each other and only used vile words to communicate. My father cleared out all of my mother’s closets and drawers one Valentine’s Day and burned them a mile away from the house. My mother had his Trinidadian girlfriend, at the time, deported from an expired visa.”
“How did she know?”
Sadik chuckled dryly. “Money gives you resources. She hired a private investigator. But yeah.” He took a deep breath. “It got ugly. So bad, Taaliba started acting out. If you ask me, she still hasn’t recovered and this was years ago. They made it perfectly clear divorce was off the table. My father threatened her life if she left. My mother threatened his freedom if he walked. So…” He dipped his chin. “I hired a therapist. An intense one, who moved in for half a year. It took that long for her to quit and tell me the best way for them to live amicably would be for either my father to stop his cheating or allow my mother to have male friends.”
My eyes ballooned. “She proposed that?”
“In jest—well, frustrating jest. She had no idea they’d make that agreement a month after she left, and all alone. They sat down and laid out rules.”
“What are the rules?”
Guilt pricked my chest the moment those words left my mouth.
Sadik shook his head softly, eyes out into the distance. “I really don’t know. I never asked. To me, inviting a third lover into your bedroom if you have an exclusive love with a woman or man will invariably begin the timer on the bomb.”
“So, you don’t approve?”
“Hell no!” he grated bitterly. “Never. But we were taught to always view our parents as leaders and ourselves as lower-ranking members of our village. We had no choice in the matter. I saw that even though my father’s girlfriends—that will rotate—mostly lived here, he would still take my mother on vacations with just the two of them. He still buys her gifts and surprises her with them. They’ll return to the original master suite on occasion. And when it comes to decisions and events about the family, their lovers are left out.”
“But they weren’t tonight. It was made clear to me, my being here was an occasion. But their lovers were included in the family dinner. That’s insane, Sadik.”
“That was my call.”
My head jerked hard to shift my body to face him. “What?”
“Their…lovers are not at most dinners. Even if they’re on the premises, it’s understood they sit out dinners. I requested they be here tonight because I needed you to see us at our dysfunction. I didn’t want to surprise you with our dynamic later and make it more awkward.”
“Is that why you were so cold with Tom?”
“Tom isn’t accustomed to breathing the same air as me. He’s wisely stayed away since my mother shared with him how Jake got his jaw wired after strolling around the compound leisurely one day I pulled up. My father may allow the queen her spoils, but for me, she’ll always be untouchable. I don’t need to see her imperfections, and that’s precisely what happens when I see her…lovers.” He cringed again at that word.
This had to be hard for him to share. And I couldn’t bear many more details about his confounding family.
“Where are you going?” he asked when I shifted to leave the bed.
“To brush my teeth.”
“Nah.” He reached over and pulled me to him. “You’re going to get on all fours so I can fulfill my needs, too. Then you’re gonna come in my mouth while crying your devotion.” He tossed me until I was straddling his waist.
I turned back to him with a racing pulse and throbbing clit. “Crying what, exactly?” I murmured over my shoulder.
Sadik kissed my left cheek. “That you’ll stick this out until you fall in love with me.”
If I had a reply, it was effectively vanished from my brain at the first long stroke of his tongue in my slit.
∞20∞
I’d been up for over an hour before I decided to shower. Sadik was still lost in slumber as I slid out of the massive bed. Once I was cleaned, I decided to curl my hair and get dressed. When I came up to the room last night, our suitcases were here inside the walk-in closet; not as big as the one in Sadik’s apartment, however, just as lavish. Without his assistance, I decided on blue distressed jean shorts, a black spaghetti-strapped tank, and a yellow cropped blazer. The blazer was for in case these people dressed formally in the morning, too. I pushed my feet into Ase Garb heeled mules, and slipped out of the room quietly.
When I thought I may find the girls and hang out with them, I was faced with their father instead. Almost right outside the door, Iban stood in slacks and a button-up, holding a mug of coffee.
I pointed behind me. “Sadik’s still asleep. I can wake him if—”
Iban shook his head. “I thought I’d see him coming out first. The nigga never sleep late.” His eyes roved indecently up my body. “But after he made it clear how good the pussy is, I can see how he breakin’ all the damn rules.” He did a reverse nod with his head. “C’mon. Let me walk you out to the veranda to get some coffee. You drink coffee?” I nodded. “Good.” He began his stroll.
After I made the quick decision to obey, I realized I’d never been this close to a known murderer before. My armpits prickled with perspiration.
“Yo, I ‘on’t know how much you know about my family, but I bet you know I was locked down and why.” I didn’t answer as he sipped from a fancy porcelain mug. “I ‘on’t wanna get into what sent me there, but I can say this: it was behind family. I ‘on’t give a shit who, where, what, or why; when it comes down to the Ellis name, I’m murkin’ niggas to keep the legacy. Don’t nobody come before my pops, mom dukes, brother, baby sis, and kids. Errbody know that shit—my fuckin’ wife included. And for this family, I guard over the emperor—my pops—and the regulator, my brother.”
He patted his chest as we turned a corner. “I’m the fuckin’ enforcer. Bitches always think money and power when they see the Ellis sons. They think we their come up. Nah. That shit ‘on’t go down. It took me years to choose my wife. I watched her, learned about all her friends. Shit.” He blew out a breath. “They had to go. Her shady family members. Them niggas see her maybe once a year. Being the wife of a Ellis man means you live, breathe, and die for us.”
I was relieved when we turned another corner and the bright blue sky appeared in the opening to a balcony.
“See, a small-town girl like you don’t belong here. You ain’t built for this life. We move different, sweetheart. The shit we be on’ll have you fucked up. Even being in this house a goddamn privilege. And it better not be no shit on social media about the place either.”
My forehead stretched. I raised my hands in the air as we crossed onto the veranda. “I don’t even have my phone on me.”
“Good.” He nodded toward the left at someone. I looked and saw Earl sitting with his legs crossed, facing the beautiful vista of a garden while smoking a cigar. “Coffee’s served,” Iban mumbled before walking off.
My chest heaved, lungs worked so hard, my head spun.
“You okay, dear?” I could hear Earl, but couldn’t answer just yet. “Sweetheart,” he called again.
“Good morning, Mr. Ellis,” I chirped, managing to open my eyes.
; “You can call me Earl. Come have a seat. You look a lil’ pale.” My feet began to move, and I found my way to the empty seat next to him. He pointed over the balcony. “You see that Violet Love tree down there? The little one with the purple and white blooms?” I nodded. “It’s new. My wife wanted it. Been begging for it for years. It didn’t fit in with the rest of the garden, I knew it.” He shrugged, taking a puff from his cigar, those honeyed irises narrowed to endure the smoke. “Me being a reasonable man, I gave in last fall. We had it planted, and just like I knew it would, it bloomed out of order.” That’s when his regard landed on me.
“I don’t understand.” I had to say something.
“The moody lump of wood don’t bloom with the spring blooms, don’t exactly bloom with the summer ones either. It blooms randomly and don’t keep with the family of trees I personally chose for my property. It doesn’t fit in.”
Oh, no…
My hand rose to my nose.
“I taught my boys a long time ago, honey, just because something’s beautiful and attractive, doesn’t make it perfect or complete. It has to align with their goals and ultimate visions set for their lives. But as a parent, I had to learn correction lasts well into adulthood—even with my wife.” He pointed again. “Look at that damn tree,” he urged with charisma. “And you know what she’s going to say? Just plant a few more so it won’t be the only one blooming when it does. And that, honey, is why I shouldn’t have allowed the first one to be planted. More would be expected to follow and before I know it, I’ve lost the vision of my garden.”
Earl turned to me, pulled strongly from his stogie and blew it out. Clouds of smoke covered his face, keeping him veiled…from me. It was his barrier. His mysticism. I bit the inside of my lip to distract from the impending tears. It was clear. Sadik’s family didn’t like me. I wasn’t wanted here.
