by Anna White
“I can.” My words were sharp. “You got really drunk with Nance and Soph and then Jay had a call from Alfie because you were struggling to stand up. He came to get you and you were dancing with a random bloke.” I watched as she cringed and shook her head.
“I wasn’t?” She denied. Maybe he hadn’t described it as dancing. He had said that Soph was trying to help her get him off her but I was too annoyed to admit it. Somebody else had touched her. “I don’t remember that.” There was a look of confusion in her eyes. Her face was strained. “I,” it was clear the words were struggling to come from her mouth and I shook my head slowly. Things lately had been going well. I turned away and headed towards the door before feeling a cold hand grip my arm. "Haz please I didn't?" Her eyes glazed over with tears and somehow my anger disappeared. I never wanted to see her cry. I never wanted to be the reason she cried.
"Hey," I whispered as I pulled her closer towards me. She gripped my t-shirt between her fingers and I held her closer. "Jay thinks you were spiked." I muttered into her hair, the familiar scent of her perfume intoxicated me and her pool of sea green looked up at me from underneath her wet lashes.
"Who would want to do that?" She questioned and I shrugged. I knew who wanted to. I knew it wouldn't be long before he got what he wanted and I'd made it so easy for him to do. I should have been with her.
"I dunno Avay." I lied. It was becoming increasingly difficult to lie to her. Being clean had given me a conscious. Her fingers were creeping up my neck towards my face and she tilted her face. Though I hated seeing her cry I loved the way she needed me when she was feeling vulnerable. I planted tiny kisses against her fingers and watched the fire rip through her eyes. I watched as her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip and took a deeper breath in. Fuck she's hot. I shook my head softly and she smiled a shy smile before she tiptoed to kiss my ear softly.
"I want you." Her lips lingered on my ear for a while before she traced them down my neck. My eyes closed momentarily and I gripped her hips with my fingers.
"We're in the kitchen Av?" I gulped down my voice and felt her shoulder rise and fall.
"I'm sure you've fucked in worse places?" There was an air of seduction in her voice, my dick pushed against my jeans as she pressed her stomach against me. I knew she'd feel it. She'd know I wanted her too.
"Whatever have I turned you into Miss Holt." She placed her lips against mine before I pushed her against the kitchen island softly. I heard her breathing hault for a split second. My eyes glanced towards the door and she pulled my face so I was looking back at her. Her eyes were dark with desire. Desire for me. "There are people in the house?" I whispered. "What if Jay or Buddy walk in?" I was justifying not shagging her in the kitchen. I watched as she began to unbutton my shirt which was currently covering her assets. She dipped for a split second and I watched as she took off her thong slowly and dangled them between us. I swallowed a growl and closed my eyes as my dick pulsed again in my jeans. I felt her place them in my back pocket and watched as she sat with her legs slightly open on the kitchen island. I glanced down at her pussy as she ran her fingers over it. Fuck. I swallowed hard and made eye contact with her again.
"Am I gonna have to do it all myself?" She tilted her head to one side all innocently and I almost exploded right there in my boxers. Fuck this. A growl escaped my lips as I invaded her mouth with my tongue. I wrapped my one hand up in her thick dark hair and began to undo my jeans with my other hand.
"I'm gonna fuck you Av," I undid my jeans and heard her whimper as I rolled her nipple between my fingers. "We've gotta be quick." I pulled her towards the edge of the island and plunged into her. She moaned softly as I filled her, her head tilted backwards as I thrust myself deeper into her. I felt her grip my shoulders with force as I picked up the pace and nipped at her shoulder. She moaned again and I could feel her tightening around me. I closed my eyes as I felt her clamp around my cock. I groaned against her neck as she moaned my name and I filled her. I pulled myself out of her swiftly and watched as she flinched. I smirked as I left her reveling in the afterglow and buttoned my jeans again. Her eyes fluttered open and I watched as Jay walked in. He wasn't looking at us, he was talking on the phone. Av flushed red as she pulled her legs closer together and made sure her tits were back in my shirt.
"Yeah I'll be in, give me 20 minutes Della? I need to find my keys." He placed his hand next to her on the kitchen side and I smirked. Her cheeks were flushed pink, her hair was messy and she gave me that look. "Fucking hell…" his eyes wandered over her and I bit my lip. "No Della not you sorry, I'll see you in 10." He placed his phone down and slid it into his pocket. His eyes didn't leave her. She smiled sweetly at him and I winked at her.
"I think I saw them on the dining room table?" Her voice was husky and as I glanced at Jay he nodded.
"Thanks." He pulled his eyes away from her and looked up towards me. I winked at him and watched as he shook his head. I chuckled a little and watched him walk back out of the kitchen.
"He wants you." I stated bluntly and watched as she shook her head.
"Don't be ridiculous." She slapped my chest softly and ran her lips against mine. "Can you get me off here?" Her tone was quiet and I smirked as I shook my head.
"Nope." I moved from between her legs and watched her roll her eyes.
"Fine my legs will just give in." I chuckled and picked her up softly. I held her around my waist and raised my brow.
"Wanna go for round 2?" She threw her head backwards and a laugh escaped her mouth.
"I need to get to a dance class." She smirked and I released her. The kitchen door opened again and I spotted Juve stood watching us. He raised his brow at us and I watched her smile at him. She made her way effortlessly past him. She tiptoed up to plant a kiss against his cheek and I watched him smirk as he made eye contact with me. "Morning Juvy." She chirped as she made her way out of the kitchen.
"Morning." His voice faltered. I watched his eyes follow her and walked to shove him. "I dunno how you bagged her bro…" His eyes were that of a lovesick dog and I shook my head.
"Oh stop." I rolled my eyes and watched him smirk at me.
"You made up this morning then?" He grinned and I nodded.
"Yeah I can't stay angry with her." He chuckled and nudged my shoulder.
"Hm I bet… She's fucking stunning Haz. Jay looked like he was about to combust when he left just?" I laughed and shook my head. The dirty bastard.
"Yeah she sat on the kitchen island in just that shirt when he walked in. Pretty sure her nipples were still hard and she had no knickers on." I watched his mouth drop and winked at him before I jogged up the stairs after her.
She had disappeared when I chased her. I assumed she'd go for a bath. I showered and lay back on my bed. The house was quiet this morning, eerily so and I couldn't help but feel guilty for not turning in for work. A large sigh escaped my lips as I stretched and turned on the television. My phone buzzed and I swiped the screen to see a few texts.
Bandoni: I hope your close to finding her… Times ticking my boy.
My boy. My stomach dropped the second I read it and I instantly felt sick. I'd found her. I loved her and I wasn't going to let him get his hands on her. My chest began to pound and an ache from within started to grip me. I sat upright on the bed and watched my door open. Av was standing in the same shirt only now her hair was slightly damp. Her eyes met mine and I watched as she wandered across the room and placed herself on my lap. I needed to tell her what the fuck was going on. I searched her eyes and felt her run her fingers down my cheeks.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Her tone was so soft as she ran her thumbs over my cheeks. I held her wrists and shook my head. She knew me better than I realised. "Haz?" She raised her brow at me and I tilted my head to kiss her palm.
"Nothing I'm alright." I closed my eyes momentarily and felt her shift on my lap. When I opened them again she was glaring at me.
"Don't hide things from me?" She looked sad and I held her he
ad in my hands before I kissed her slowly.
"Av I'm alright I swear," she placed her hand against my chest and shook her head "I'm craving." That I could admit. Her eyes sprung open and she cuddled me tighter. The familiar smell of her perfume lingered against her skin. "I fucking love you Avay." I muttered against the skin of her neck. It was nothing but the truth. She was the reason I could see making it past 30. I'd be fucking dammed if anybody was going to take her away from me.
Chapter Eleven
Holt - March
We'd been rocky. To say the very least. I was graduating this September and I needed to get a plan together. I needed to sort my life out. We still weren't officially together. We were slightly more affectionate together in public but he didn't hold my hand much. My head spun from my internal thoughts and I exhaled as I wrote in my notepad. Nance nudged my arm softly and offered me a small smile. I knew she was trying to offer me some form of comfort but it didn't do much. I tapped my pen against the desk and remained in my little bubble for the remainder of the lecture. I was happy to do that.
Monday
Anya had stayed around over the Christmas and New Year period and for some reason she was still here. She threw the remote across the room towards me and I chuckled as I caught it. She had arrived at mine this morning looking a little fragile and I'd told her to come in and sober up. She was working for that logistics company now and I don't think she had any plans to go back up North anytime soon. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't enjoyed her being here. The more she divulged information about her 'friend' the more I got the feeling I knew him. An uneasy feeling threatened to consume me as I watched her flex her feet out in front of her. She worshipped him whoever he was.
"Are you going into work today?" I questioned as she yawned.
"Nah I don't think he'd mind me taking a day off." She grinned in my direction and I rolled my eyes.
"Are you banging him?" I raised my brow and watched her chuckle. I wasn't sure if she'd tell me the truth or not, so I just continued to keep quiet.
"So has your mum seen more of Haz in the office lately?" What a fucking bizarre question. Why would he be in the office? I raised my brow as I glanced up from my phone at her. Her head was tilted to one side and I shook mine.
“No? Why would she see him? ” She frowned as she patted my shoulder.
“Did you not know Haz has shares in the business?” I felt my mouth dry up as I glared at her. Surely he'd have told me.
“No I didn’t know that.” My reply was sharp and I frowned at her. How the hell would she know?
“I thought you’d have guessed? They know their way around the law?” She was right they did but I'd never told her what any of them really did. Hell I didn't even know half of it. He never disclosed anything he didn't have to. I folded my arms against my chest.
“How do you know all of this?” I almost hissed.
“Avaya, I’m not going to tell you that.”
“Who’s your friend Anya?” My blood boiled as I stood to my feet. "Who are you staying with?" I placed my glass on the coffee table in front of where we were sat. My hands shook.
“He knew you’d guess and he warned me you'd be like this.” Her tone was mellow as I held back the urge to cry. I shook my head in disbelief. Surely fucking not.
"Fuck off Anya? Are you joking?" I glared down at her blue eyes and my chest constricted. “How long have you known him?” It was at that moment I knew it was him. She shrugged as I frowned deeply.
“Years Av. What’s your issue with Rava?” The world around me stopped. My stomach twisted. My best friend had known a fucking monster for years. A drugs trafficker. A person who used women against his enemy. She'd been living in his fucking house for 3 months. I clutched my stomach as bile made its way to my throat. She was speaking yet I heard nothing. I hoped the ground would swallow me. I turned and made my way towards my kitchen. Surely she didn't know the shit she was involved in? “Look Av, if you think Rava is dangerous, you should really speak to your fuck buddy. I swear Rava wouldn’t hurt a fly.” I shook my head. He had brainwashed her. I raised my hand at her.
"Please stop." My voice was just a whisper. I watched her face twist.
"No I fucking will not!" Her voice was raised and I squeezed my forehead softly. "Honestly do you even know what he's done to people Av? It has taken everything in me not to fucking warn you away from him!"
"Anya please!?" I snapped. She looked through me. As though I was the one in the wrong. I glanced towards the door as I held back my tears. "Just leave." I muttered towards her and watched as she slammed her cup down on the side. She straightened out her dress and shook her head.
"You'll see soon enough." Her words were like venom, I watched as she placed shoes on which were placed by my front door and I watched the door slam shut behind her. Tears escaped my eyes. I burst. I couldn't stop them from falling. One of my oldest friends had chosen a monster over me. I sobbed until I couldn't any more.
Vens - Friday
People loved to talk. Av had been quiet all week. She'd made up what I could only think was excuses for not seeing me. Buddy and Juve were sprawled out along the sofa and I yawned as I kicked Buddy for the remote.
"Oi you fucker!" He cupped his balls and frowned at me.
"Aw H don't do that you might hurt his swimmers…" Juve teased and I smirked before I turned the channel over. "Where's Av this week she's been quiet?" My stomach twisted.
"Oh fuck she bored already?" Buddy winked at me before he laughed and I shook my head.
"She's got loads of finals and she's trying to find a job so she's just staying with her mum this week." I tried to sound relaxed about it but I wasn't. I was fucking burning. I'd been at work when Alfie had phoned to say she'd asked for a gig tonight at the Top Hat. Apparently she said she just wanted to sing. Juve slapped my leg playfully and looked up towards where Chlo was perched on the doorframe.
"You heard?" She lifted her chin up towards me and my shoulders lifted.
"Heard what?" I questioned her. I watched as she smirked and tilted her head in an effort to tell me to follow her. By the way she was avoiding speaking in front of my brothers, I'd assumed the worst. I hauled myself up and followed her towards the hallway. She pressed the door closed behind her before she smiled.
"Rava's got a weakness?" Her words made no sense as they left her mouth.
"Chlo what the fuck are you talking about?" She shook her head and placed her arms in front of her chest.
"He's been living with this bird. Tall, dark haired…Fucking stunning. Jay saw her leaving his apartment the other day?" I frowned and ran my hands through the front of my hair. Rava didn't do long term. He was too hard on women, they didn't stick around for long." He said she didn't seem upset, just comfortable. He kissed her on her cheek to say goodbye." I felt instantly sick. He was allowed a Mrs but the only girl I'd ever loved in life was hanging in the balance. My chest began to pound and I felt Chlo rest her hand against my bicep. "Haz, he's got a weakness." I nodded softly as I tried to take it all in.
"Have you ever seen her before?" She simply shook her head.
"I haven't no. I think she might have Bandoni connections? Maybe they're together for convenience's sake. I dunno Haz I'm just guessing." I planted a kiss against her cheek and made my way towards the front door. I was numb. I needed to see Bandoni and I needed to see him now.
Holt - Wednesday
I ran my fingers through my hair as I stared at the clock ticking away on the wall. I'd kissed him goodbye this morning and he seemed to be in a slightly better mood. Truth be told I had not been right for a good week. He watched me sing at the Top Hat last Friday and drank. I'd never seen him drunk. High, probably, but never drunk. Not until that night.
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"You were bloody wonderful." The smell of Budwiser lingers on his breath and I wiped away a tiny bit of froth from his plump bottom lip.
"I think you might be a little drunk Harry." Our eyes met, his were glazed as he ran his lips against my fingers.
"Me? Psht," a small hiccup escaped his lips and I smiled "nah never drunk me." I glanced at Jay who was smirking and shrugging behind him. "I fucking love you Holt." He placed his large arm over my shoulder and I shook my head.
"Shh people are listening." I watched Jay take some of his weight from my shoulder and smiled at him. He was fucking heavy.
"I don't mind." He tried his best to wink at me and I chuckled to myself as Jay placed his arm around his shoulders.
"C'mon lad let's get you home." Jay pulled on him a little and I watched him shake his head.
"Nah you never told me about her, you hid it all again." My face instantly screwed up and I watched Jay shake his head.
"No idea what your talking about Haz, C'mon now your pissed don't start." Jay hauled him a little away from me and I loosened my grip on his hand. Who the fucks he on about?
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My name being called landed me back in reality and away from my daydream. As I looked up, a tiny framed brunette called me over with an endearing smile. Almost instantly my nerves went.
“The interview panel are ready for you?” She gave me a slight wink as she gestured towards the corridor where 3 people were seated. 1 woman and 2 men.
“There’s a panel?” I gulped back the lump in my throat as she nodded and walked me towards the room. I ran my clammy hand over my blue suit trousers and looked at my heels poking out. I frowned to myself before we entered the room. I never saw myself dressing this way for work. I wanted to be a dance teacher.
The woman instantly made me feel easier by giving a huge smile and the men sat either side of her went to shake my hand.
