Intensity

by Eden Fortae

  “Ok, if I have to keep buying drinks to talk to you, then that’s what we’re doing. I'll take a Jolly Rancher, Sex on The Beach, and a Tequila Sunrise.”

  All of those drinks required a lot of time to make. Had she not spoke of her intention beforehand, those orders would have done the trick. However, Kya remained where she was, almost refusing to fall for the bullshit until her former friend pulled out a fresh fifty. She had to look at this in the same light as everything else. Despite coming from someone she wanted no parts of, money was money, and she needed it to reach her goal.

  “I have nothing to say to you, and if you’re here for your brother, I have nothing for him either.”

  “I’m not here for him. I don’t even want to talk about him. Trying to be a loyal sister, a mistake was made. The mistake being how I fucked up something that I had to lose to realize was important to me, and I want to fix it.” While Kya retrieved another glass and skillfully filled it, they repeated the same dance with her matching each of her steps along the counter. “I wronged you, and you want nothing to do with me. I get it. Honestly, I don’t blame you if you hate me, but being the person you are, I know you don’t. Not really.”

  “Right, because you know the real me. Reverse the roles and what do I know?”

  “A lot more than you think. My birthday is really June 23rd. I can’t cook without burning shit. I do joke a lot. Probably too much at times. I am a little bit crazy. Maybe a lot crazy and should be medicated, but whatever. You know what else was real? When I said, I valued you. Besides my siblings, I never had anyone I could connect with as I did with you. When we met, it was like I found a missing part of me. These last few weeks felt the same way. I’m sorry, Kya. I’m sorry for what I did and sorry I did not get to meet you before all of this.”

  Kya finished the other two drinks in record time, sliding them to her and waited. The look on her face was just as blank as it had been at the beginning of their talk, indicating no change in her mood. Noticing this, Antonio’s sister gnawed on her bottom lip and gave her the fifty.

  “I miss my friend. I have no right to ask, but can we please start over?” Before there could be a rejection, she extended her hand, “I’m Karrina.”

  Of everything that was said, Kya clung to two things. Antonio admitted that he asked his sister to befriend her. So, she was doing it for him. Being an only child, Kya could not relate to the bond they shared but did understand it. Then, there was the way their friendship was worded. She, too, had felt like this woman was one of the best friends she ever had. It was like they were destined for the roles they played in each other’s lives before it was revealed to be lies. She too missed that. Missed the laughs and missed having someone she could talk to about any and everything. Returning to that level was going to take some time.

  Still, without a smile, she accepted Karrina’s hand, mending that fence while giving no thought to the other.

  Waiting inside that tiny booth at the prison made Antonio all sorts of uncomfortable. The guards kept staring at him. Some, whispering to others. He recalled a reaction similar to this one during visits when he was a kid. Then, the reason was due to his father’s reputation within the prison. Too many times, they were turned away because of his father being in solitary confinement. When he called home, his reasoning was always a fault not of his own. The outcome, favorable due to no evidence or witnesses willing to face his wrath for snitching.

  He saw the jumpsuit before the man. Tall, built, and hair much shorter than he remembered. It used to touch his shoulders like Antonio’s, but now, stopped just below his ears and was combed back as much as his curls would allow. Instead of the goatee that was his father’s signature, he wore a full five o’clock shadow and it aged him.

  “¡Ay Dios mío!” He laughed into the receiver, “I saw you on TV a few times and in magazines, but wow. You look just like me.”

  “Minus the old man cut and beard.”

  Javier rubbed his hand over the short hairs on his face and laughed again.

  “Yeah well, your mother likes it.” He teased and surprisingly, Antonio cracked a smile.

  “She only likes it, because it’s you. Shave your head and dye your beard pink. She’ll love that, too.”

  “I’m not going that far to test her love for me.” He raised his free hand playfully, but it still managed to wipe away the smile his son carried. When he noticed, he cleared his throat. “So, enough about me. How have you been? I saw pictures of you and a pretty lady. You working on getting me another daughter and making me an Abuelo soon?”

  Antonio shook his head to answer. His mother had asked the same question the day after cameras rushed them at Paradise. Then, his answer had been the same with a small glimmer of hope hidden in his heart. Only when his baby sister openly displayed her attitude toward him during a mandatory dinner the weekend prior, did he explain the situation to his mother. He could not tell if she was more upset for him playing with a woman’s heart or if it was because that woman was an innocent party. Who her father was, did not matter to his mother. As always, she was understanding and had advice that weighed heavily on his heart. More now that he knew his father was looking forward to more grandkids.

  “No, she and I didn’t work out.”

  “What? Why not?”

  The phones in prison were monitored continuously. Even the ones that did not connect to the outside world. Speaking in Spanish was not enough to protect their conversation and going into details about the entire ordeal would be a rookie mistake. Antonio was nothing close. He paused. Thought about it then spoke in clear, but coded words.

  “The paint was blue. The kind that won’t fade.”

  Javier frowned for a minute. Then understanding overtook his features.

  “You knew that when you started?”

  “I did. Got it purposely. I had enough of the old stuff. It was time for a new picture, and I wanted to be the artist. It turned out to be more beautiful than I anticipated. My original plans changed and I wanted to keep it. Nothing like the other shade. I hated how much I enjoyed it but couldn’t deny it anymore. By then, the paint spilled all over my work, and it’s gone. I realize my mistake now, and I have to accept it.”

  His father remained silent for a few seconds, looking down at the metal ledge in front of him.

  “You want it back?”

  “I do.”

  Javier grew quiet again then asked, “What’s stopping you?”

  Antonio was momentarily stunned and a little annoyed. He told his father that story half expecting the man to curse him in Spanish for being with the daughter of his enemy. Instead, he seemed like he was encouraging it. All those years behind bars must have done a number on his mind. Or maybe he had grown up.

  “Besides everything I just told you? My life isn’t all glitter and gold. It looks like it, but there is a lot of blood and sweat behind what I do.”

  Again, he was speaking in code, and Javier knew what that meant.

  “Why, Tonito? No, I know why. Because of me. What I want to know is why still? I came to this country with your mother to give my family better. You did it the right way, and now, you’re in the position to have the world as you want it. Why not enjoy that with the woman you want?”

  “Because, Javier,” in his father’s name was clear anger, “you decided to fuck women that weren’t the one you dragged across the water, pregnant, and hopelessly in love with you and one of those women landed you here. I had to be the man of the house because you didn’t care enough to stay home! How am I supposed to walk away now?” He caught himself as his voice was raising and a guard appeared behind his father.

  With a wave, Javier was able to convince the man that everything was fine. When he went back to his post, he addressed his son in a calm tone. “I almost forgot how protective you were of your mother. As a baby, you would always get between us when I tried to hug or kiss her. So, it does not surprise me that you’re mad at me. Frankly, you should be. I left you to grow up faster
than you should have. For that, Antonio, I’m sorry. What I’m not sorry for, is the fact that you made a legit way for your mother and sisters to survive in my absence. I’m the last cabrón to be giving you advice, but there is no one in this world better to hear it from than me.”

  “Five minutes, Cortes.”

  Unlike most places, this one only allowed fifteen-minute visits with high-security threats. Usually, they would place more than one guard over the inmate, but there was only one, showing how much influence his father still had.

  “Stop while you can. Stop making mistakes. When you see the chance, and you don’t take it, you risk losing everything. I had to be shoved into a cell in a maximum-security cage and see my woman through two inches of glass to realize what I gave up. I had to watch my kids grow up through pictures and meet my first grandson through the same glass. I was not there to witness your success, because I did not stop. I’ve missed out on years with my family and years of life because I did not stop. Do it, Tonito. Go after everything you want and be happy. If it’s blue, then it’s blue. Go for it and don’t let it pass you. How? Just do it. If it means that much to you, you will find a way.”

  The guard moved in a little closer as the time began to wind down. Antonio looked over his father’s shoulders to alert him to the extra set of ears, to which he nodded.

  “I have a favor to ask you. I didn’t tell your mother, but I’m up for parole next week. I didn’t tell her, because I did not want to get her hopes up in case they try to dick me, again. If they let me out, I’m going to need a ride home—”

  “I’ll be here. Just ask Ma for my number and call me the night before.”

  Like when he sat down, Javier was all smiles. Anger was still within Antonio and would not fade after one conversation. There were still things he still needed to get over on his own. Regardless, he would look out for his father any way he could. Especially if it meant making his mother and sisters happy.

  “Thank you. We’re going to work on us when I come home. I owe you. All of you. Take my words into consideration. Don’t be a loser like me. I’m not a big fan of that particular shade of blue, but if you like the one you found, I’d like to see it for myself.”

  Standing, he reconnected the phone, placing his fist on the glass. Antonio did the same, putting his fist over his father’s. As he watched him walk away, he laughed to himself. Donny suggested that talk was required to move on and oddly, his shoulders felt lighter. One of the main reasons he avoided relationships was because of the things he saw his mother go through. Hearing the regret in each word spoken while looking into a face that mirrored his own, Antonio saw a future he did not want. No, missed years with his wife and kids did not appeal to him at all, but time in the presence of a woman who opened him up to things he shut the door on, did. He also wanted to experience the kind of devotion his parents had.

  On his way to the lobby and out to his truck, Antonio plotted and planned. Donny and his mother giving their blessing for him to see Kya was one thing. His father setting aside hatred to do the same was a sign, and as his father said, if he saw the chance to be happy, he needed to take it.

  THIRTEEN

  Antonio was putting the finishing touches on his current project; the last coat of paint applied, bulbs in each of the light fixtures, and polish on the hardwood when his phone vibrated. A second jolt indicated that it was a call rather than a text and upon seeing the name on the screen, he stepped away from his crew for privacy.

  “What’s going on, Jay?”

  “Nothing much. Sitting outside of your girl’s house.”

  Antonio’s temper flared immediately. “Excuse you?”

  Jermaine laughed on the other end of the line. A little too hard for Antonio’s liking.

  “She met someone online and wanted me to watch her back while they met in person.”

  “A man? She invited some stranger off the internet to her apartment?”

  Jermaine burst into another fit of laughter, successfully pissing him off. The palm of his right hand was beginning to itch. His trigger finger twitchy. Since telling him she no longer wanted him in her life, he had done his best to give her space. In doing so, he wanted Kya to see that he cared enough to do as she asked, but never had he given up on the idea of having her again. Not for one single second had he made room for another man to claim what was his.

  “No, they met at a bar. She didn’t invite him back to her place until after a few drinks.”

  “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

  “Tony! TONY! I’m fucking with you, man! She met a woman.” Jermaine was still laughing his heart out, and Antonio was still on his way to his truck, not the least bit amused.

  “Motherfucker, you must have a death wish.”

  “No, I was in need of a laugh, and you gave that to me. Thanks.”

  “You better not be lying to me. If I come and some dude is with Kya, bullets are going to fly, and they have no names on them.”

  “What are you coming for? I thought y’all were done with each other.”

  Kya might have cut him off, but in no way was he done with her. His mind was not allowing that and his reaction to merely seeing her pictures indicated that the rest of him wasn’t either.

  “That’s not the point.”

  “I see.” Jermaine paused, pissing Antonio off more. “There is no need for you to come. Kya met with some woman that saw a drawing or some shit and wanted Kya to make the dress for her. She was there for a fitting. I only called you, because I know how you like to set her up with opportunities. From what I saw in her book and on Facebook, she has some skills. More than the usual bird brains behind my bar. She doesn’t need to know I said that, though.”

  Antonio’s still present frown deepened. Since when did Jermaine give a damn about anyone other than himself or those he considered family? Much like Kash and Donny, he was not too fond of Kya in the beginning. He, also, felt as if she could not be trusted.

  “All of a sudden you’re looking out for her? Why?”

  “Guilt maybe? Somewhere in my cold, black heart, I feel bad for playing her the way we did.”

  “If you feel that way then give her a raise.”

  “I said maybe it’s guilt. Not stupidity.” When Jermaine laughed this time, Antonio joined him. “You need me to get some more info for you.”

  An offer like that was hard to refuse. Especially with the damaged relationship between him and Kya. Those that were still allowed within her space were in a much better position than he was. If thing remained that way, they could put in a word to help him get back into her good graces.

  “I’m good.”

  With a heavy heart, he declined. One of the main reasons why she closed the book on him was due to his intrusion in her life. After speaking with his father, he sat back and thought about a lot of things. Mostly, what it must have been like for Kya to learn of his deception. Realizing how pissed he would have been if someone had done it to one of his sisters, he thought about how he could correct his mistake. The news of a possible business venture for her would be the perfect avenue. Still, he wanted her back at his side and without any of the issues that caused the distance. That was the ultimate goal.

  “Alright. You know how to reach me if you change your mind.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  Never one for formalities, they hung up with no further words. There was no use in discussing the next course of action when there wasn't one. In addition to that, Donny knew that he was planning to get her back and that was bad enough. The fact that any of his friends knew they could get a rise out of him when it came to her spoke to transparency he needed to end.

  Antonio went back inside and back to work. As he was polishing the appliances, he saw Donny from the corner of his eye, looked up and was greeted by a smirk. The expression, a dead giveaway.

  “You know you want to look her up. Go ahead, Primo! I’ll give you my shoulder to lean on and we can sing a song on her voicemail. Go ahead! Call her.
”

  “That asshole told you first?”

  “Had me mute the phone.”

  Antonio shook his head as he went back to wiping down the stainless-steel stove.

  “Remind me not to tell you bitches anything else.”

  “No can do, Tonito. I still owe you for the way all of you teased me the first time I fell in love. Payback is going to be the biggest bitch. So, are we calling her or what?”

  “We?” So amused, he stopped what he was doing and broke into a full-blown smile.

  “You heard what I said, dammit. Are we going to call or not? I have shit to do and want to get this laugh in.”

  “Laugh because you think I’m on some soft shit?”

  “No,” Donny folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the counter beside the stove, “because I think you’re going to fall flat on your ass with this one. Like I said, payback.”

  “Asshole.”

  “So I hear.”

  Antonio moved on to the sink where he wiped away any fingerprints or specks of dust on the faucet.

  Calling Kya was not what he had in mind. Not yet, anyway. Another thing he had the chance to think about was a proper apology. If the tables were turned, it would take a hell of a lot just for that person to be granted a millisecond of his time. A phone call would have resulted in him hanging up after a few unkind words. With as much fire as Kya had in her the last time they spoke, there was no doubt she would hand his ass to him.

  “I’m not calling.”

  “Ok, give me your phone, and I’ll do it.”

  “Hell no. I don’t trust you not to tell her some falsified, off the wall bullshit.”

  “Smart man. So, what’s the plan?”

  “I don’t know yet. I owe her a lot more than a phone call and a plain apology.”

  “Right. Well, you know where to find me if you need help. I can put her in a headlock while you try to reason with her.” He moved like he was about to exit the kitchen area when he stopped and backed up a few steps hearing the loud buzzing of Antonio’s phone. His smile was back. From ear to ear, he grinned while asking if that was Kya. Antonio shook his head with a glower that said he found nothing funny.