Intensity

by Eden Fortae

  Rather than going to the bathroom where she’d be tempted to cry, Kya took a few steps outside the door, allowing the chilly evening air to alleviate the stinging of tears.

  “I used to watch you,” she turned at the unexpected admission, “and I was waiting for you to be a broken, crying mess. But you always held it together. It takes a strong person to push through grief like you did. So, I know you’re strong enough to handle whatever’s going on between you and Tony.”

  Watery laughter escaped through her nose, “You would be the one to notice that something’s off, Jermaine.”

  “That’s my job. I observe. Especially when it comes to people, I care about.”

  She nodded and looked to the starlit sky in an attempt to collect herself.

  “I hear you’ll be having a show in a few months.”

  “Tony told you that?” Apparently, she was surprised, and at that, he shrugged, leaning against the wall.

  “I don’t know why you’d be surprised at this point.”

  “ I was thinking he wouldn’t mention me since he isn’t exactly speaking to me.”

  Jermaine folded his arms over his chest, looking up at the sky himself. “It’s a man thing. What we don’t show you, we’d show everyone else. I suppose you wouldn’t believe me if I told you he’s proud of where you’re headed? That he sounded like a pussy whipped bitch, gushing over you.”

  “He’s proud of me?”

  “Yeah. He’s not the only one.” As he paused, he let their eyes connect. That was only the second time that her boss had done so. “I don’t put a lot into people. I have my reasons for being the way that I am. I fare better when I don’t let too many people get close enough to disappoint me, and you never disappointed me.”

  He paused again, finding it hard to speak in such a way to someone not exactly within his circle. “I know you’ll be great. You deserve to be great. So, I don’t expect to see you in my club anymore unless you’re there for an event. Now, you have nothing but time to do what you need to do to build your own empire.”

  “Why?” She frowned. A man that had never shown any kindness, doing so, now, was suspicious.

  “Because you’ve found your way into the family of misfits and one thing we do is support each other. Don’t stay out here, too, long if you don’t want anyone else to know you two are on the rocks.”

  With that, Jermaine went back inside, Kya following just a minute behind him. He had no idea that little talk gave her strength, power, and courage to sit beside Antonio with a renewed will to fix whatever was broken. He gave her the ability to share in the family’s joy at hearing there would be a new addition and to go after what she wanted with her back straightened.

  What she wanted now, was Antonio.

  “I was trying to give you time.” Kya began as soon as he slid into the driver’s seat. His attention felt like a breath of fresh air. Like sunshine on ice-cold skin, warm and blissful. “But I don’t want another unpromised day to go by without being us. Can you talk to me, please?”

  He was quiet at first. He let his hands fall away from the steering wheel as he sat back and sighed. “We don’t need to talk.”

  “Why don’t we? I recall two times that talking was so important to you that you wouldn’t leave me alone long enough to make the same decision. Not too long ago, you were telling me that you didn’t want there to be anything we could not say to each other. So what changed?”

  Antonio raised his hand to his face, rubbing his hand along the overgrowth of hair shadowing his jaw. He was clearly frustrated, his mood contagious. “Don’t push this, Kya. I’ve been keeping to myself for a good reason. I’m not in the best place to have this conversation.”

  She snorted. An obnoxious sound laced with irritation, also shown through her hands falling at her side hopelessly. “Oh, ok. So you get to choose when and where we are a couple that communicates and apparently, those times are only when it’s me that wants time to think. Here we are, once again, doing what you want and not what’s best for us.”

  “Us.” The same sound she made moments ago, came from Antonio. The only difference between the two was tone. Where Kya’s expression came from concern and irritation, his came from a cold, dark place, as shown by the way he turned in his seat to face her. “For such a small word, the power of it has royally fucked me. Not you. Not us. Me. I’ve given so much. Sacrificed and lost for something I never really fucking needed.”

  Stomach in her throat with a bitter taste, churning at the replay of that last sentence in her mind, she took a deep breath before asking, “What didn’t you need, Tony.”

  “This!” He growled, gesturing between them. “This waking up every damned day worried about if you’re hungry, healthy, and happy. Being away from you and wondering if you’re safe and looking forward to seeing you. None of this! I didn’t need you in my heart or in my fucking life changing shit!”

  He shook his head, his breath coming out harshly. “Why do I give a fuck about you? The blood running through your veins belongs to a man that could die today, and I wouldn’t give two shits, yet I put your ass up on some God damned pedestal and let this shit happen. My concern is supposed to be for those three women that raised me, those men who’ve been watching my back, and that kid that loves me no matter what the hell I’m into. You? You’re failure in the form of a beautiful face and top-shelf pussy. You are a lesson that I’m done failing. You can move into one of the other rooms or stay until you find a place. If you do, I’ll cover the cost. It’s the least I can do.”

  His words had a sense of finality to them. Even if they hadn’t, Kya was too stunned to say anything. He reached for the keys in the ignition and started up his truck without showing a single sign that he was going to retract his statement, apologize, or pull her into his lap to kiss her pain away.

  He meant it. Every word. Painful and intentional.

  Gone was the strong woman praised by Jermaine earlier in the evening. In her place was one that could not hold back her tears or spend one more minute in his presence.

  Kya pushed out of the truck, slamming the door behind her so hard she heard the window rattle. With quick feet, she rushed down the sidewalk, wrapping her arms around herself. She had no clue where she was going, didn’t care where the dark roads would lead her as long as it took her away from the hurt threatening to split her in half.

  She didn’t stop walking until she could no longer see what was ahead of her. Until the aching in her heart forced her to fall against the nearest wall and cry into her hands. In her purse, her phone buzzed. She ignored it until the jolting vibrations ceased, only going for the device afterward to call Karrina.

  At the sound of her voice, Kya broke down again, stumbling over her words.

  “What?! What happened?”

  “It’s over.” She sobbed. “He said he didn’t need me and I don’t know what to do. He’s been quiet the last few days, and I kept trying to get him to talk to me and he wouldn’t. But when I tried again just now, he looked at me like I never mattered. Like what we had was a mistake. I let him become my everything, and he’s just throwing me away.”

  “I know you’re hurt, Kya, but you can’t cry over him. That’s my brother, and I’m telling you he isn’t worth it if he could just let you go after all of this.” In the background, she heard Karrina tell Christian what was going on and his immediate question of where she was.

  “I don’t know.” She pushed away from the wall, “I got out of the truck and walked away.”

  “And he didn’t try to stop you or follow you? What the hell is going on with him?”

  “No.” She took a moment to look around, her heart dropping when she did not see him or his truck. The nearest intersection was about twenty feet away, submerged beneath the shadows abandoned by the street lights. Moving closer, the letters on the green sign hanging from the traffic lights revealed a name. “I’m on the corner of 5th and Palmer.”

  “Tell her to stay there.”

  “Kya
, stay where you are. We’re on our way to get you.”

  “Ok.” She sniffled, wiping her face with her palm. “I’m sorry I ruined your day, Rina. This is supposed to be a happy moment for you and Chris, but I have no one else to turn to, now.”

  “No, don’t be sorry. This is what I’m here for. You’ve been there for me, and I’m always going to be here for you. Whether you’re with my brother or not.”

  Kya wanted to smile. If her heart wasn’t hurting so badly, she might have been able to do just that.

  “Thank you, Rina. I love you—”

  Tires screeching and a loud boom drowned out the rest of the world. Searing pain caused by hot metal rocketed through Kya’s chest. The force sent her to the ground, her phone cracking against the asphalt just as her head made impact. Each breath came through gasps, her entire body growing cold.

  Eyes to the sky, her life shone through the stars. In the beginning, an image of her parents kissing as her mother served him breakfast. At the end of her memories, a man, his overall being as dark as the world was becoming. That man had called her a lesson. For her, as was he. He was the difference between good and evil, right and wrong, the image of perfect imperfection. Because of him, she learned to live again. Thanks to him, she sought her dream. And for him, she deeply loved. Silently, but undoubtedly careless to his infamy and overcome by the intensity of love.

  A love that was never meant to be.

  TWENTY NINE

  He saw his sister first, face drenched with tears, Christian’s arms around her. Beside them, the other members of his family and their faces marred by sorrow. For years, the thought of those people sitting in that very spot, waiting for a doctor to tell them if they needed to make funeral arrangements had been in the back of his mind. Not a fear, but a possibility. Never in a million years would he have thought that he would be one of those people, waiting to hear something.

  Antonio was a few steps away from where everyone sat when Anthony spotted him. Immediately he ran to his uncle and jumped into his arms, burying his face into his neck. No sooner than he hugged the boy to his chest, Karrina was on her feet and damned near charging toward him. She would never hurt Anthony, but still, he put their nephew down before she reached him.

  “You did this!” She screamed, her fists connecting with his chest. One, then two, and soon, a flurry of punches that were stopped when his mother and Julie wrapped their arms around her and held her tight. “Why did you do this to her? She loved you enough to overlook everything and what did you do? You pushed her away, and now we could lose her, too.”

  The text that Christian sent only stated that Kya was hurt and he needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. However, looking at his friend now, seeing blood soaked into what was once a stark white polo shirt, ignited fear he had not experienced since that day he found Karrina’s coat in that alley.

  Eyes wide and breaths short, Antonio took the few steps toward Christian, gripping his shoulders for dear life. He was shaking so hard that Christian held him back. Several long seconds of being embraced, Javier switched places with Christian, whispering words of sympathy that triggered anger.

  Antonio pried himself from his father’s grip, storming through the doors clearly marked “Emergency.” Despite the protests and people attempting to grab him, he rushed down the halls, eyes frantically searching, ears straining to hear over the call of security and voices telling him to get out.

  There, at the end of the hall and on the corner, he found her. On a table, covered only from the hips down by a sterile white sheet stained bright red, a bloody hole in her chest.

  Beneath the mask covering her mouth and nose, he heard his name. She was calling for him, and without hesitation, he went to her.

  “I’m here, Kya. Baby, I’m here!”

  They were shouting at him, but again, he was oblivious to it as he stepped around the nurse holding Kya’s arm down. Her eyes were barely opened, but staring up into the light, tears pouring from them as her reddened teeth and lips parted. He stroked her hair, hoping his touch would gain her attention.

  It was as if she was there, but wasn’t, stuck within some nightmare no one could pull her out of. A nightmare that he, too, was dying in.

  Repeatedly she mumbled his name. Desperately someone was pulling on him. Guilt and anguish forced him to tears, and it didn’t matter if the people in that room saw him cry. What mattered was the woman before him. The woman he never deserved but was too selfish to stay away from.

  Having lost his faith in God long ago, Antonio stopped believing in miracles and prayer. Yet, as he pressed his lips to Kya’s clammy cheek, he did just that. He prayed for a miracle. Prayed that she would pull through, promising to do right by this woman that unwillingly stole his heart.

  Kya said his name again and then she began to cough. Her body jerked against him, blood splattered onto the breathing mask, and then it all stopped.

  What was once a steady beep turned into one long alarm dragging continuously.

  And then there was nothing but stillness, symbolizing the end.

  Continues...

  In his mind, she was sleeping beauty.

  In his heart, she was his sleeping beauty.

  In a perfect world, all that was needed was a kiss. His lips pressed firmly to hers as an unspoken promise to bring her back to him.

  In this world, there was a greater chance that she’d never awaken. Brown skin that used to hold lively pink undertones was now dull and oddly pale. Lips that used to spread into a full smile for him were now pried apart by a breathing tube, dry and blue.

  Antonio let his hand settle over Kya’s as he leaned forward for a lingering kiss on her cheek. As he closed his eyes, memories flashed behind them. Laughter as he threw her over his shoulder and carried her to bed, the way she put him in his place like no other dared, and how she’d sing and dance while doing her hair. Then, there was the sadness that had sealed his fate the day of her mother’s funeral.

  In every sense of the word, approaching her was a mistake. Thinking he could use her as a finishing move, was a mistake. Both of those events led to the present, with her lying in a hospital bed lifelessly, his heart threatening to leave this world with her.

  Glancing over his shoulder, Antonio knew that Christian couldn’t hold his sister off for much longer.

  Looking down at the woman he wanted nothing more than to take home and apologize to in a million different ways, he lowered his mouth to her ear, “Coming to you was my biggest mistake,” he paused, running his free hand over her hair, “but you are the best mistake I’ve ever made. Come back, Kya. Come back and give this world the chance to love you just as I do.”

  With much reluctance, he backed away and at the door, he spared her one last look.

  A rose that managed to survive the harshest storm might lose a petal or two, but it never lost its purpose.

  His rose’s petals might be wilted and were slightly discolored, now, but she would always be beautiful and always his.

  Always.

  INFAMY: Book Two (Rose Series)

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