The Arch-Wizard’s Little Sister

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “That spell’ll be wasted on the manticore! The griffin is way stronger; don’t use your magic on this shrimp!”

  “U-understood! They did say the griffin was by far the more powerful enemy!”

  I was taunting the manticore—and Megumin, holding her spell at the end of her staff, fell naturally into the game of dissing the monster.

  “What’s that? I, the great manticore, have battled with that thing all these years, and you say I’m not as strong as that griffin?”

  My job was to buy time. If I could keep the manticore busy long enough for everyone else to finish off the griffin, maybe we could unite our forces to deal with this thing.

  “Lalatina!”

  “Hey, is she okay over there?!”

  “Lalatina’s getting pecked to pieces by the griffin! No, hold on, she looks kind of happy about it—I don’t think it’s actually bothering her that much. . .!”

  . . .I could buy all the time I wanted, and I wasn’t sure things were actually going to get any better. Please, Axel adventurers, show how awesome you are!

  Maybe my wish reached somebody, because as I stood there facing down the manticore, I heard a distant voice. “Great, it’s working! Hey, Kazuma! Once we deal with this manticore, we’ll come help you as soon as we can!”

  Of course, the manticore I was facing heard the voice, too. And where before it had been acting like it had all the time in the world, now it suddenly looked tense.

  “Oh, you wanna go help your blushing bride? Be my guest. This mage standing behind me with a spell at the ready? She’s the greatest magic-user in Axel. And we’re happy to do this right here or to let you go help your friend.”

  I watched its reaction carefully. . .

  “I guess I’m not quite feeling myself today! I’ll have to do it with you another time. That means I choose rescuing. . .”

  With that, the manticore whipped around and dashed off. A fast charge from a high-level magical beast was never going to be something novice adventurers were prepared for; the adventurers surrounding the female manticore took the body blow and went flying into the air.

  “Lalatina’s being carried off!”

  I looked over and discovered the griffin with Darkness in its beak, preparing to launch itself into the air. Darkness was empty-handed (had she dropped her giant sword?) and was punching the creature repeatedly in the beak. But the beak was too hard for it to have any effect. . .

  “Kazuma, you have to do something! That thing’s going to make off with Darkness! This morning, Emperor Zel caught a worm, and right now Darkness kind of reminds me of the worm!”

  “Don’t jinx us! Can’t you ever do anything that doesn’t cause trouble?!”

  While we argued, the two manticores broke through the line of adventurers and headed for the griffin. They probably meant to put the monster between themselves and their pursuers, forcing the adventurers to deal with the griffin. I guess those human heads weren’t just for show; they had some brains in there. . .

  “Darkness, brace yourself! Megumin, get ready to use your magic!” I pulled back my bow again and took aim at the griffin’s face. “Now, there’s a target that’s too big to miss! Try this on for size, for real this time!” I activated my Deadeye skill and let loose an arrow directly at the griffin’s gigantic eyeball. The creature must have been distracted by Darkness, who was flailing around trying to keep it on the ground, because it didn’t react to my projectile.

  “Piggggyaaahhhh!” It screeched as an arrow lodged in its right eye. Darkness gave the protruding butt of the arrow a good smack to drive it in. That was the last straw; it dropped Darkness from its beak, and she fell with a Suck on that look on her face.

  “Megumin, do it! Take everything the greatest magic-user in Axel can muster and drop it on those three!”

  I hardly had to tell her; Megumin already had her staff pointed at the griffin. “When we get back to Axel, I hope you will regale my younger sister with stories of my deeds. . . My name is Megumin! First among the magic-users of Axel and wielder of Explosion! Behold my most profound technique, which I have saved for this moment! Eat this! Explooooosionnn!!!”

  That explosion Megumin let off? It got the griffin. It got the two manticores. It got half the mountain range near Axel.

  4

  “. . .No more. Kazuma, I don’t wanna go on any more quests for a long time.”

  We had emerged from our battle with the griffin and the manticores, if only by the skin of our teeth.

  “Uh, Kazuma. I keep wondering, have we really grown at all? I can’t help thinking we’ve hardly changed since we formed this party.”

  “Don’t ask me. That’s what I want to know.”

  I walked beside Darkness, trudging along despite being thoroughly battered, with Megumin riding on my back. We and the rest of the adventurers were heading for Axel. As we walked along with the sun setting on the horizon, Megumin said, “There is one thing for which I must apologize to you, Kazuma. . . I admit, I do not really want to go back to those days.”

  Well, there you have it.

  “Excellent work! And congratulations! As of now, all the unfinished quests in this town have been cleared. All of us at the Adventurers Guild express our heartfelt thanks to you adventurers!”

  A row of Guild staff members greeted us when we arrived, muddy and filthy, back at the Guild in Axel. Every adventurer who had gone on the quest looked as pleased as if they had slain the griffin themselves.

  And there she was, right in the middle of the line of staff, like she was already a part of this Guild. Luna pushed her forward a little.

  “You were awesome. You were all awesome!” Komekko said, her eyes shining.

  A rough-and-ready warrior answered with a big grin. “Yeah, I sure think so! We’re Axel adventurers, after all! But your big sister is the most awesome of us all. Today, she took down a griffin and two manticores all at once!” He no longer sounded like he was saying that as a favor to Megumin. This was real, heartfelt praise.

  When Komekko heard how sincere he was, she looked happier than ever.

  “Big Sis, you’re awesome!” she said.

  And then she beamed her biggest smile.

  Epilogue

  That night.

  Having done our first big job in a while, we’d split the modicum of a reward for the griffin hunt with the other adventurers, then partied to our hearts’ content at the Guild, and we had only recently arrived home. Komekko, blissfully full, had fallen sound asleep on the way; Darkness had carried her on her back, and now she was asleep in Megumin’s room.

  We’d had a serious hike and an even more serious battle. It had been a long day, but it had been ages since I had felt this pleasantly satisfied with myself. I snuggled into bed, and with the wine coursing comfortably through my body, I closed my eyes, looking forward to a good night’s sleep. . .

  “Kazuma, are you still awake? If you’re awake, could I have a moment?”

  It was Megumin, just outside the door.

  “I’m awake, but not for long.”

  “I went out of my way to come here, so don’t fall asleep yet!” she shot back, opening the door and coming into my room.

  I didn’t sit up but lay there with my head poking out from under the blankets. “What do you want at this hour? Don’t you want to sleep with Komekko for the first time in ages? She’s not going to be here forever, you know—you can never be sure when someone will come from Crimson Magic Village to pick her up.”

  Though personally, I wouldn’t have minded if she stayed forever. Not that I was feeling like a lolicon or anything. I was still getting my memories back of my time at the castle with Iris. Come to think of it, I’d promised her that if I remembered her, I would write her a letter. I decided to write it the next day; even if I went to the Adventurers Guild, it sounded like there wouldn’t be much to do but kill frogs.

  While I was mentally making my to-do list, Megumin gave a small smile. “Ahem, it’s funny you should mention
. . . As a matter of fact, Yunyun came by just earlier.”

  Now that I reflected on the last few days, we really hadn’t seen that girl around—I wondered what had happened to her. Those other girls, Funifura and Dodonko—they’d said they couldn’t find Yunyun. Maybe she really had run and hid.

  “So what about her? She come to see Komekko?”

  “No, no. She had a message from the village. It seems the unit of the Demon King’s army that had taken up residence in the village was successfully driven out.”

  Geez, those were some martial mages. I guess the Crimson Magic Clan members weren’t known as the world’s most powerful wizards for nothing. It had been only a few days! I wondered if they could ever be convinced to turn all that energy to something more productive.

  “Hey, that’s great news. But that means. . .”

  “Yes. Tomorrow, my mother will come to pick up Komekko.” Megumin sounded just the slightest bit sad.

  “All the more reason you should be with her tonight, right?”

  “No, it’s fine. That child is very strong. Frankly, I am afraid I am the one who would be damaged if I was with her all the time.”

  Oh yeah, I’d forgotten Megumin had a bit of a sister complex.

  Megumin bowed her head. “Kazuma, for helping me with a great many things these last several days—thank you.”

  Gratitude? That came out of the blue.

  “Little late for all this bowing and thanking. Anyway, I know it was a struggle, and I know I came close to losing some very important things, but it did sort of remind me of the old days, and I enjoyed that. . .just a little.” I half smiled, and Megumin did the same.

  “True, today’s battle did indeed bring to mind the way we used to be. . . It makes one wonder if indeed we have grown at all.”

  Darkness had said something similar on the way back to Axel; I would have been pleasantly happy not to hear that comment again. Actually, I had noticed recently that even when my level increased, my stats didn’t improve as much as I expected. I didn’t like to think about it, but maybe I was getting close to maxing out my numbers. I didn’t even have any cheat powers, and I was hitting a point where raising my level didn’t make me any stronger—that was not cool.

  Megumin, unaware of my little fit of depression, went on talking happily, nostalgically. “Come to think of it, do you remember? The time we first met.”

  “Of course I do. I mean, you spat out this name that made no sense to me, and then next thing I knew, you’d collapsed. Not to mention, the first thing you said to me was actually that you hadn’t eaten in three days. Nobody would forget an introduction like that.”

  “Hey, I have lost count of the number of times I have said this, but if you have a problem with my name, then I shall hear it.” When I saw Megumin’s eyes flash crimson, I realized I felt a certain fondness for this familiar banter.

  Megumin must have seen it on my face, or maybe she wasn’t really angry at all, because she dissolved into giggles, until I was laughing along with her. . .

  “Kazuma. I knew about you before any of that.”

  That was sudden.

  “You and Aqua may not realize it, but I was aware of you before I ever joined your party.”

  “Oh you were, eh?” So Aqua and I had really been getting that much attention right from the beginning?

  “. . .Just to be clear, it’s because the two of you strangely stood out. I would often see you in the strangest places, being yelled at, getting angry and weeping—be it at your job at the Guild tavern or selling vegetables. I saw you being shouted at so often that you quickly lodged yourselves in my memory.”

  “That’s not a very nice way to remember someone,” I said, but Megumin just giggled again.

  “Perhaps, but even so, the two of you seemed to be genuinely enjoying yourselves. The real reason I wanted to join your party was because of the thought of the fun adventures we might all have together.”

  Gosh, when she put it that way, I could hardly be angry with her.

  “Though it must be said that if you had told me then that I would fall in love with you, Kazuma, I would never have believed it.”

  “Huh? Did I make that bad a first impression? You know even I have feelings, right?”

  Megumin laughed again, from the heart. “Kazuma, Kazuma.”

  “What is it? I’m trying to sleep here; leave me alone. I want to enjoy being a little tipsy while I can.”

  I was pointedly acting a bit sullen, but Megumin said:

  “Sooner or later, I would like to move to the point where we are more than friends but less than lovers.”

  No context, no warning, just that sudden curveball.

  “I’m so sorry, Mr. Kazuma. Making you take care of both my daughters. . .”

  “Nah, I don’t mind at all. Both your girls have done so much for me.”

  It was the next morning. After springing her little revelation on me, Megumin hadn’t actually done anything at all, simply said good night and left my room. When I saw her this morning, she greeted me casually, as if nothing had happened.

  Maybe, with Komekko in the same house, she’d felt saying it was the most she could manage. Thanks to her, though, I hadn’t slept at all. You could see the resemblance between the older and younger sisters: They were both from a family of demons.

  “When you say they’ve done so much for you—may I ask what exactly they’ve done? I mean, it could be anything, and I don’t mind if it is, but those girls are both getting to an age where they’ll be needing to find partners. . .”

  Those distinctly uncomfortable words came from Megumin’s mom, Yuiyui. When the talk of “finding partners” came up, Darkness, who was in the foyer saying good-bye to Komekko, flinched. Come to think of it, as a noble, it was high time for her to become a bride, too.

  “I mean they helped me with adventuring. Nothing weird, okay?”

  “Yes, of course, I know; my daughter told me everything, so I understand perfectly, Mr. Kazuma. Everything is fine so long as you’re ready to take responsibility.”

  That caused me to involuntarily glance back at Megumin, but I found her shaking her head vigorously. So the daughter Yuiyui was referring to must be. . .

  Yuiyui looked Megumin and me in the eyes and produced a small notebook. It was the one Komekko had occasionally been writing things down in.

  “‘Blue-Haired Sis was awesome; she got rid of a ghost with a punch. Armored Sis was awesome; she got eaten by a big bird. Big Sis’s man was awesome, too; he put plant killer on a lady and got rid of her. Big Sis was awesome. Don’t really know why, but she was.’”

  Hey.

  What was with that last part? Megumin had explained what she’d done in detail to Komekko, but the pip-squeak hadn’t understood a bit of it. Megumin fell weakly to the carpet when she heard that, but Yuiyui kept reading from the notebook.

  “‘When Sis wasn’t around at night, I thought she must be in her man’s room and went to look, and she was saying something about being more than friends but less than lovers.’”

  Megumin jumped up. “Komekko! You were awake for that?! And you were eavesdropping?! Just how much did you hear?!” Her face was red, and she was furious.

  “You don’t need to hide it now,” Yuiyui said. “Your mother approves, as long as you’re happy.”

  With her mother’s kindly gaze upon her, Megumin slumped to the carpet again, clutching her head and tossing it back and forth. Yuiyui completely ignored her daughter’s antics and said, “Well then, Mr. Kazuma, I’ll show myself out. . . My, though, what a wonderful house you have—I’d heard you talk about it, but it’s incredible to see it for myself. I know now that I won’t have to worry about my daughter. I’m entrusting her to you.”

  “See you, Big Bro. I wanna eat frog the next time I come.”

  And that was it: Yuiyui intoned some sort of magic, probably Teleport.

  “Yuiyui, my mother! It has been ages since you saw your precious daughter, and have you nothin
g more to talk about than that?!” Megumin exclaimed.

  “Hurry up and make me some grandkids.”

  What a thing to say to your barely teenage daughter.

  “W-wait, Moth—!”

  Megumin was about to fire something back, but Yuiyui grabbed Komekko in her arms and said, “Live happily, you two. I’ll name my grandchildren for you when they arrive.”

  She really was like a one-woman storm.

  “Teleport!”

  And just like that, she was gone.

  “G’morning! Hey, I feel like chicken for breakfast for some reason. . . Huh? Where’d Komekko go?”

  Yuiyui had left moments ago. We were still standing there, stunned by her outrageous departure, when Aqua appeared, as usual both late and unable to sense the mood.

  “How long did you plan on sleeping? Komekko’s gone already.”

  “What? Why?! She and I were going to go Neroid hunting today!”

  You mean Neroids like the one that worked you over the other day?

  Neroids were not strong creatures—kids could deal with them. Please tell me she hadn’t meant to have Komekko hunt them down for her.

  In any event, Aqua’s idiotic blathering brought Megumin back to herself. “I really made everyone’s lives difficult this time. I truly apologize for my mother and sister. . .”

  “Well, it all started because you had to go bragging to them,” I quipped, and Megumin looked away, embarrassed.

  “I enjoyed myself, so I don’t mind,” Aqua said happily. “Komekko can come back anytime. Then we can finally hunt those Neroids.”

  “Say, Kazuma. . .” Darkness was wringing her hands, as if she was trying to decide whether to say this or not. “That stuff Megumin’s mom said. . .” She had just gotten her nerve together when—

  —there was a knock at our door. We were still standing in the foyer, where we had watched Yuiyui and Komekko leave. Thinking maybe Komekko had forgotten something, I opened the door to find a young girl with golden hair and blue eyes. She was about Komekko’s age—but maybe a little smaller? She seemed familiar, though.