To Love A Friend
Page 5
Allie
I was used to drama in my family, but the day we left Liverpool had probably been one of the hardest of my life.
About a week before that, my father had come into my room after dinner one night, and sat down on my bed. I knew from experience that it meant we were going to have a serious conversation.
He sat down and told me he'd found work in Brighton and we were going to move within the week.
Of course, at fourteen years old, I knew the real reason for our rushed departure. People were talking. There was gossip going around, and our family needed a fresh start.
After that episode my mother had had where she'd run up and down our street in the middle of the night, screaming at anyone who dared to come near her, we had become the black sheep of the neighbourhood. Nobody wanted to live next to a crazy person.
We started packing the very next day.
I can't really explain why I cut all ties with the two boys. I knew they never would never judge me, would never say a bad word about my mother. I also knew they would understand why we had to move.
So why hadn't I simply dropped by, explained the situation to them and left them my new address?
Honestly? I don't know.
It was painful to leave them behind. Probably the hardest thing I'd ever had to do. When our car drove past their houses for the last time, I felt like my insides were being torn apart in the slowest, most gruesome way possible.
The new house was nicer than the one we'd left behind. The beach was just ten minutes away and my parents seemed a lot happier again. I didn't care, though. The kids at school tried to befriend me, but I brushed them off. I didn't want to hurt anyone again and rather kept my distance.
At times, I feared I was starting to turn into my mother, making irrational decisions, cutting people out of my life for no reason. It was a scary thought.
I missed Darcy and Ian more than I dared to admit. I missed our afternoons spent at Ian's house, sprawled across the floor in his living room, flicking through magazines and talking about nothing important. I missed nights spent out in Darcy's grandmother's back garden, looking at the stars and trying to come up with the most ridiculous star constellations. I missed their laughter, their fights, their crazy talks. I missed everything.
Eventually I moved on, though. I didn't feel I had the right to be too upset about leaving them behind, because I had chosen to do so. They, on the other hand, didn't have a choice.
Ian just always knew exactly what I needed when I felt like the world was moving too fast under my feet. He grounded me. He steadied me. He was the only constant in my life.
I had missed the sea. The last time I'd been here had been five years ago.
Today was a beautiful early autumn day. The air already carried a crisp coldness with it, but the sun was still warm on my skin. We walked for what felt like hours, barely talking, simply enjoying the silence. I loved how the sound of the waves and the rushing of the wind drowned out any man-made noise almost completely. On days like this, when the beach was nearly empty, one could almost forget the city and pretend the beach was part of a lonely island. I say almost, because usually, the honking of a car horn somewhere, or the voices of other beach goers filtered through eventually, reminding you that you were not alone.
High tide had passed and the water was slowly receding, leaving only the muddy sand behind. I loved to sink my bare feet into it, not caring about the fact that I didn't have a towel and was most likely going to go home with heaps of sand in my socks.
As we were walking, Ian kept his arm tightly wrapped around my shoulder. I imagined days like this, just spending time together and not having to think about saying goodbye in a few hours. I still couldn't believe that we lived only a few minutes away from each other now. I had gotten so used to only see him on weekends and during the holidays that it was going to take me a while to wrap my head around the idea that I could just take a bus and go see Ian any time I wanted.