A Snowflake Wish

by Renee Harless

  As Samantha tapped her fingernails musically on January’s desk in anticipation, she finally gave in. “Fine.”

  Taking a deep breath, January quickly whispered, “Deckard’s stayed with me the last two nights and he’s helping me host Christmas Eve dinner for my parents tomorrow.” It was all said in one breath that left January slouching in her seat when she was finished.

  “Wow. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Don’t be. I think I’m crazy for pursuing something with a man I barely know and who is leaving in two days.”

  Samantha sat in a chair across from January’s desk. The cheerful smile that had been on her lips morphed into a frown.

  “So he still plans on leaving? He won’t change his plans?”

  “Not that he has mentioned to me. But why would he? Pineville is in the middle of nowhere.”

  “You’re here,” Samantha pointed out, but January cocked her eyebrow and shook her head.

  “I knew all along that he wasn’t staying. It’s why I didn’t want to get tied up with him in the beginning.”

  “Ah, so he tied you up? How was it?”

  “What? No. Samantha, focus.”

  “Sorry. He’s just so hot.”

  “I’m aware. Anyway, I knew better and now it’s time to face reality.”

  “And what reality is that?”

  “One where I become a lonely crazy lady that celebrates a holiday that doesn’t exist and pines away for a man she had a week-long affair with.”

  “Well, that sure is depressing.”

  Leaning her head on her desk, January replied, “Tell me about it.”

  A knock sounded on her office door and January looked up to find her boss’ assistant standing with a notebook in her poised hand. She informed them that there was a staff meeting in five minutes with some changes to the current issue.

  When the assistant turned away, both women groaned in unison, and January found herself slamming her head back on the desk repeatedly.

  ~

  January wasn’t sure what time to expect Deckard. They never discussed their working schedules; she just knew that he stopped by his grandparents’ house to change then he would arrive at her home. Shame overcame her as she added another layer of cheese mix on top of the layer of noodles for the lasagna. January had been taking all of Deckard’s time away from his family. From what she could tell, they didn’t mind, but she imagined that they were probably wishing that he would spend at least a few hours with them.

  Maybe tonight she would suggest that they spend it apart. She figured that she should start getting used to the feeling of not having him around instead of filling every second and place with memories of him.

  With the lasagna set up, she put it in the oven and made her way back to her bathroom to catch a quick shower. Her body and mind were aching after learning that they were going to cut some of the staff at work. She wasn’t afraid for her own position with the Pineville Gazette. Her articles always received the most reads and accolades on the online and paper forms of the newspaper. But some of the older staff were worried that they were going to be forced into retirement. She only hoped that they kept Samantha on board. Her friend wasn’t assigned the best items to report and she spent a lot of her time assisting on the research for January’s assignments. She hated the worry that came with the wait.

  The warm water felt delightful on January’s sore muscles and she allowed herself a few extra minutes just to stand under the spray.

  A moan echoed in the shower stall as her body started to relax. Turning around under the spray, she let the water perform the same relief on her front as it had on her back. With closed eyes and head tilted back, she let the water pound against her skin all the way up to her neck.

  The squeaking of her shower door being opened caused January to twist around too fast and lose her footing. She felt herself free fall in the tiled shower stall and she envisioned that this was how she was going to die. Another addition to those statistics of people tripping and falling to their death. Except she didn’t fall. A pair of strong arms caught her around the waist and lifted her back onto her feet.

  “Are you okay?” the deep voice asked as he took a step into the water spray and caressed every inch of her body looking for a cut, scrape, or bruise – some indication that he had harmed her.

  Despite being scared to death, January thought it was sweet how he was checking her over.

  “I’m okay. What are you doing here, Deckard?”

  He stood under the water and let it sleuth down his muscled frame. How she longed to be one of those water droplets. “I always come over after work.”

  “Yes, I know. But what are you doing here, in my shower?” she emphasized.

  “Oh,” he chuckled, his blue eyes darkening as he took in her naked form. It was like a flip had been switched and alpha Deckard came out to play. “When I came into the house I heard the shower on. I thought that maybe you were a dirty girl today and needed someone to make sure that you got very very clean.”

  Her shower was small, barely enough for the two of them, but it instantly felt as if it was shrinking even more in size. They were in a space with the walls closing in.

  She was already turned on from watching the water cascade down his body, but his words had her sex throbbing for his touch. January captured her bottom lip between her teeth as she imagined him sliding his fingers through her folds. Her skin was covered in goosebumps from being out of the heated water, but she didn’t feel chilled at all. Instead, she felt as if she was on fire.

  “Do you want me to get you clean, sweetheart?” he asked as he reached out and trailed his knuckles down from the side of her neck to just below her navel. Then he paused as he waited for her answer.

  January couldn’t speak, couldn’t tell him that she wanted to feel his hands all over her body, she nodded her head instead. The moment his hand slipped along her sex, January had to steady herself against the tiles. Her hands smacked against the cold material as two of his fingers sunk deep inside her.

  A haze of lust hovered in her vision, but she could see that his dick had fully hardened. She wanted to reach out to stroke it, to feel its velvety skin, to give Deckard every ounce of pleasure that he was giving her. But she didn’t get the chance.

  “I need you now. Turn around and put your hands back on the tile.” She followed his command and noticed how he had stashed a condom on the soap dish, opening the packet and protecting them both as he slid the latex over his cock.

  His shaft glided into her effortlessly and she gasped at the pleasure. She tried to stay out of her head and focus on enjoying this with Deckard, but January feared that she would never feel this with anyone else. The tears came quickly and she was glad that the shower could wash them away. A lifetime of memories was what she was going to have to endure.

  Deckard’s powerful thrusts took them both careening over the edge just before the water of the shower chilled. He quickly lathered them both with soap and washed them clean.

  Her teeth chattered as she stepped out of the shower stall and grabbed her towel, tossing an extra one toward Deckard as he exited behind her. But he didn’t use it to dry himself off; he took the thick terry cloth and draped it over January’s shoulders, providing her extra warmth.

  “I’m sorry, baby.” Deckard’s hands moved up and down her shoulders, trying to warm them with the friction.

  “It’s okay,” she stuttered between her chattering teeth.

  Leaning down, he lifted her in his arms and carried her into her bedroom, setting her on the bed then moving toward her dresser.

  He didn’t need directions, he knew where she placed all of her things since he helped her fold clothes yesterday. Worn-in sweats were tugged up her legs and a purple long-sleeve shirt replaced the towels. He pulled her favorite fuzzy socks over her feet and looked her over, pleased with himself. She wore no panties or bra, but she dared not mention anything. He had taken the time to dress her in her favorite things to ke
ep her warm, it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for her.

  “Deckard,” January called out as he stalked back toward the bathroom. He had almost crossed the threshold when he glanced at her over his shoulder, she added, “Thank you.”

  He winked and turned back around, giving January a fantastic view of his perfect ass, and though she knew she needed to check on the lasagna, she figured she could take a few extra minutes to admire perfection.

  ~

  “This is delicious,” Deckard said around a mouthful of lasagna - his second helping. “You made this?”

  “Hey!” she exclaimed in jest.

  As if he was being arrested, he held his hands high in the air, trying to backpedal. “No, I just meant. . .”

  She erupted in laughter before explaining, “It’s my mother’s recipe. One of my favorites too.”

  “I bet it was awesome growing up with a mom that cooked all the time. My parents worked a lot, so we mostly ate take out.”

  “My mom loved to cook. Still does. Her Christmas ham was always one of my favorites. I wish you could have had a chance to taste it. No matter how many times I try to make it, it’s never quite right.”

  He placed his hand on hers just as she was bringing her fork to her mouth.

  “I’m sorry I never got the chance to try your mother’s Christmas feast. But, I’m certain that whatever you make tomorrow is going to be amazing.”

  “You have such faith in me.”

  “I’m amazed by everything that you do, January.” With a gentle squeeze, he released her hand and they continued eating, boxing up the leftovers for their lunch the next day.

  She knew the only thing left unaccounted for on the list she had given to Deckard explaining her parent’s Christmas traditions had been watching a Christmas movie. Though she rarely had the chance to see any films in general, watching a Christmas movie was never on her list of things to do.

  But she knew a list of her family’s favorites.

  “I’m going to make us some hot cocoa and then maybe we can watch a movie?” she asked Deckard.

  “Sounds great. I’ll clean up the dinner mess.”

  January loved that he always did things like that. He would chip in without being asked, not only with her, but he did the same at his grandparents’ shop too. He had an innate ability to know when someone needed help.

  The milk was poured to fill half of the saucepan, then January set it on the stove before placing the milk jug back in the refrigerator. Next, she pulled down the chocolate powder, sugar, and vanilla in preparation for the mixture.

  “I’m going to queue up a movie. If I’m not back in a minute, can you stir the milk?” she asked as she turned the knob to the correct heat setting.

  “Absolutely.”

  In a flash, she moved toward him and placed a peck on his cheek before she made her way toward her living room.

  The television screen came to life as January pressed the red button on her remote. She found the option to search for movies and scrolled through the listings hoping that one of the movies she was familiar with would pop up.

  She scrolled faster and faster, but none of the classic Christmas movies were available. January began to frantically type film titles into the onscreen keyboard in the hopes that one of them would come up.

  But she was coming up empty.

  “No. No, no, no!” she cried out in horror.

  Deckard came rushing into the living room looking worried.

  “What’s wro -” he began to ask, but January hysterically interrupted.

  “It’s all gone. All of them.”

  “What’s gone, sweetheart?” Deckard placed both his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him.

  “All of the movies. I was trying to find one of the classic Christmas movies and it’s like. . .they don’t exist either. Not Miracle on 34th Street. Not It’s a Wonderful Life. Not The Santa Clause. They’re just. . .gone.”

  Her heart was racing, her chest heaved with heavy breaths.

  “Calm down, baby. You have to realize that if there’s no Christmas then they had no reason to make those movies.”

  January didn’t know why she hadn’t considered that, but the thought hadn’t crossed her mind. The movies were revered by so many people that the idea of them not existing was something that January couldn’t wrap her head around.

  “But. . .” she started but her words caught on a choked sob. January didn’t know why this recollection was affecting her so much.

  Deckard pulled her against him and wrapped her in an embrace that soothed her instantly. His hand stroked up and down her back, and she felt like putty against his body.

  “There you go. Now, were there any movies you and your family watched that may not have been a Christmas movie, but would mean something to you?”

  A light bulb went off in January’s head. Filled with glee, she pulled out of Deckard’s arms and ran to her entertainment center, opening the door that encased her DVDs. She had no sorting system, so it took her awhile to locate the movie, but when she spotted the particular case January grabbed it and turned to face Deckard. Her smile was so wide that her cheeks hurt.

  “Die Hard?”

  “Yes, of course. This is one of my brother’s favorites.”

  January didn’t explain further. She popped it into her DVD player and started the film. While the movie sat in menu mode, she mixed up their hot cocoas and brought them out to the living room, resting them on the coffee table.

  Deckard draped them both under a blanket as she cuddled against him on the couch.

  “Ready?”

  At his nod, she started the movie. She was excited to share this small thing with him, but as the movie began to progress she realized her mistake.

  The movie still existed, but there was no Christmas party. The film had been altered to a simple office party and continued on as if it were meant to be that way from the start.

  January was disappointed, and when Deckard looked down and saw her frown, she explained how the movie was different from what she remembered.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

  “It’s not your fault. I only have myself to blame.”

  January couldn’t focus through the rest of the movie, but noticed how Deckard seemed to enjoy the classic action flick. The light from the television illuminated his face in the darkened room. She could imagine her brother, father, and Deckard lounged on her parents’ large sectional couch completely lost in the movie, but in a calm camaraderie. In her vision, Deckard fit in perfectly with her family.

  Thumping echoed in her ears as her heart pounded. She knew without a doubt that Deckard had stolen her heart.

  She realized that he was indulging her by agreeing to relieve the Christmas traditions that she used to despise, but she couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps it was because he felt the same way about her.

  Her eyes were drawn to the white glow of his profile; the strong jaw, straight nose, kind eyes – he was the whole package. And she felt it down to her soul that he was meant to be hers, but timing stood in their way.

  “Deckard,” she whispered, and he pulled his attention away from the movie to gaze down at her.

  “Yeah, sweetheart?”

  She took a deep breath, she was about to bare herself to him in a way she had never done before. “Deckard, I -”

  BANG!

  A gun shootout on the screen drew their attention back to the movie, her confession left hanging in the air. Her moment had been sidelined and she took it as a sign.

  They watched the rest of the movie, even January was intrigued by the plot of the film she had never given much of a chance before.

  But as they laid in bed, Deckard’s chest pressed against January’s body, he asked, “Hey, what were you going to say earlier?”

  This was her chance to confess that she had fallen in love with him, but unlike earlier, her confidence had disappeared.

  She turned over to face him and hi
s arm automatically wrapped around her.

  “Oh, it was nothing,” she lied. “I was going to ask you something about tomorrow’s dinner, but I can’t remember anymore.”

  His eyes flicked back and forth as he searched hers. January worried that he would call her on her bluff and then she’d be forced to admit how she was feeling. But she didn’t want him to give up the opportunities awaiting him back home. So, unless she was forced to admit her feelings, she was going to keep her mouth shut.

  Luck was on her side as Deckard leaned forward and captured her mouth in a kiss before he settled her against him for the night. She felt his breaths even out and the rhythm of his pulse slowed when sleep overtook him. But January spent another torturous night awake, silently wishing that she could fix everything.

  Chapter Nine

  At work, January tried not to think about all of the prep work that she had waiting for her at home for tonight’s dinner. It wasn’t just the ham that she had sitting in her fridge ready to go in the oven for three hours, or the handful of side dishes she had to prepare in the three hours the ham was cooking, but it was the cleaning and tidying that was waiting for her. January tried her best to keep a tidy home since it was just her in the two-bedroom bungalow, but she wanted to impress her siblings and their families.

  They were telling everyone that she wanted to make up for missing the solstice celebrations with him, but Deckard and her parents knew the truth. This was going to be the last Christmas Eve dinner she’d get to have, and she wanted to make it special.

  Thank goodness she had already requested to work a half-day before the newspaper decided on cutbacks. Otherwise, January wasn’t sure if she would have been able to get any of the items on her checklist completed.

  The article she had been working one was drafted in the morning and sent over to the copy editor. Co-workers stopped by her office with sullen expressions, everyone afraid that they may lose their jobs in the new year, but January tried to keep focused on the night’s event instead.

  She had to make an unscheduled pit stop at the general store for some tablecloths to grace the buffet table she pulled out of her basement. Regret filled her for all the times she ignored the kitschy shop and opted to order online or go to the larger big box store a few towns over. January had come to love Nick’s Knacks with its vast array of items and Deckard’s grandparents that always welcomed her with a warm smile.