by Nella Tyler
She hiccupped a sob, wiping at her face with the fingers on both hands as tears streamed down her face. “So I did what I thought was right, what I thought would protect my heart from breaking at the sight of you in love with someone else.”
I watched her in stunned silence, my insides lying stiller than they had in years. All that anger, that fear and hurt, just evaporating at the sight of her tears and the sound of the words I’d wanted to hear for my entire life.
“I threw myself into another relationship after that December when I almost ruined everything by kissing you. I thought if I could just find happiness somewhere, anywhere, that I wouldn’t be a drain on your life, Carter. I saw how you were with Lisa. How you still are. You were going to leave me behind. I never wanted to hurt you.”
Her tears were getting heavier, and she was stuttering when she spoke, but she kept going, seeming to want to get everything out as badly as I wanted to hear it. “But I didn’t choose the right person, Carter. I chose someone who treated me so poorly, I’ve never dated again. I just couldn’t, and it didn’t save me any heartache. I’ve been hurt more by my own stupid choices than I’d ever have been if you rejected me.”
“Sophia…” But I didn’t know how to answer any of that, and she didn’t need me to right now. She had more to say.
“After what I did to you, I don’t expect anything from you. I never met to hurt you or treat you the way your mom did. I hate her for what she did to you, and I’m no better! I was just such a coward. I should have told you what I felt before we went to college — or any time after that — but I was too afraid that you didn’t feel the same way. My fear of losing you only made sure that was exactly what happened. And it was all my fault.”
I drew closer to her as she wiped at the tears on her face. It felt like a damn had broken, flooding me with love for her. This was all I’d ever wanted, to know that she cared about me, that this chemistry I’d felt between us hadn’t just been my overactive, hopeful imagination, that there’d been a chance for us and might still be. I pushed everything out of my head — the hurt of the last few years, my utter lack of successful relationships, the fact that we were now legally related — and just let the desire flood my body at the same time love did. Everything besides this moment just fell away. She was here, right in front of me, and that was all that mattered to me.
“Can you ever forgive me, Carter?” She shook her head, curved eyebrows coming together even tighter. “I know I have no right to even ask you, but-”
I silenced her with a kiss, taking her in my arms and pressing my lips to hers as she tilted her head upwards to make it easier. Every inch of my skin tingled at the taste of her, how she opened her mouth to allow my tongue to enter, and I was instantly rock hard at the feel of her. It was all I’d dreamed about in the last few lonely years without her, and now that I had it, I didn’t plan to let go.
Sophia
The Evening of the Wedding Reception
I didn’t pull out of the kiss. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. Carter tasted so good on my tongue as I pressed it into his mouth, as sweet as honey, and so solid underneath my desperate fingers. This was all I’d wanted since high school.
My lips stayed occupied with kissing Carter as deeply as I could, the heat rising inside of me and ready to boil over as my hands worked on their own, unbuttoning his jacket and sliding inside to feel the heat of his body. He kissed me harder, his tongue probing deep into my mouth as his hands ran over the silky fabric of my dress, tracing every curve. He squeezed my ass, pressing me into the front of him so I could feel how hard he was. I moaned into his mouth and tried to get even closer to him, just wanting our heat to combine and turn into an inferno. I’d been burning for him for too long. I had to quench that fire, no matter what it took.
His hands slid over my body, squeezing my breasts and ass, just relishing my curves as we continued kissing. I wanted him in a way that I’d never wanted anyone before. I dreamed about him, woke up wet for him, aching for him with such desperation that it always led to tears because I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience what it was like for us to be together. But now he was here and ready for me.
I ran my hand over the front of his pants, feeling the hard shape of his cock, and he moaned. We pulled away from each other, breathing heavily, and I bit my bottom lip as my hands dropped to his pants, opening them while he watched me, his hazel eyes steamy and much darker than usual.
He pulled me into another kiss as his hands worked over my hips, gathering my dress up from the floor so he could gain access to the smooth, naked skin beneath. As soon as the dress was out of the way, his fingers worked themselves between my legs, moving over the crotch of my dampened thong panties. I shuddered against him, groaning into his mouth as the tips of his fingers continued to play with the trembling warmth there, sending ripples of pleasure running through the rest of my body.
He dropped his other hand onto my bare hip and worked my thong down my thighs until it fell to the floor at my feet. He moved his fingers back into that warmth, now bare, and rubbed over my clit, stoking that heat, that wetness.
My entire body was thrumming with how much it wanted him. I was powerless to pull out of his kiss, the taste of him sugar sweet on my lips and tongue. I never wanted this to end. I wanted to spend forever exploring his hot, needy mouth before moving on to the rest of his body, taking my time with every muscled inch of him.
The room was small, and he walked me backwards next to the wall, still kissing me as his hands moved upwards underneath my dress, sliding over my shivering stomach, and traveling even further to cup my breasts, bare underneath the silky fabric.
My thighs bumped into a table, and before I knew it, Carter had pulled his lips from mine and spun me around. I knew exactly what he wanted, and I wanted the same thing. Despite my desire to thoroughly enjoy every inch of his body, I also wanted him right now. If I had to wait another minute, I was going to scream.
I bent over the table, stretching my arms out in front of me as he drew the long skirt of the dress up my legs and over my hips, exposing my hungry sex to him, all that wetness just waiting for him to enter it.
Carter stepped closer, one hand on my hip, fingers kneading the skin and muscle at the top of one ass cheek, as his other hand moved between my legs. I whimpered as his long, thick fingers played in the wetness between my lips, arching my back and rubbing my sex against his fingers as I silently begged him to enter me, either with his fingers or his cock. I just wanted him inside of me as soon as possible. It felt like I’d been wanting that in one way or another for a lifetime. The heat was burning in my cheeks and forehead. I knew it would consume me if he didn’t do something about it.
I whimpered again as his fingers slid inside of me, tasting that wetness only briefly before withdrawing. Now I could feel the head of his cock pressing into where his fingers had just been playing. I arched my back even more, lifting my ass as I tried to swallow him whole. At just that moment, he entered me, pressing inside me up to the hilt.
I cried out and he roared behind clenched teeth, taking hold of my hips with both hands and squeezing hard as he moved out of me, nearly all the way, before plunging in again, my aching sex devouring him. I could hardly breathe as he moved in and out of me, pulling my hips onto his rock hard cock as firmly as he could, the head of it so deep inside me.
My body was a live wire, wanting more of him, all of him. I moved my feet apart a little, opening myself even more to him, and when he plunged inside, I could feel a stabbing ache for one second before it turned into a gush of pure, shivering pleasure. My orgasm came soon afterwards in a tingling explosion of feeling that tightened every muscle for one painful moment.
Carter increased his dizzying rhythm, his cock pressing into me and then pulling out again. I wanted to scream from the pleasure of him filling me up completely, only to have that needy emptiness inside me again, yearning for him. He squeezed my hips tighter, bringing me against him as hard as he cou
ld, our skin slapping as he groaned, the motion tying us together even as it tore my insides apart in a flurry of agonizingly luscious sensation. I wanted him deeper, harder, faster. But I couldn’t catch my breath, couldn’t find the words to say it aloud, couldn’t do anything but grit my teeth and arch my back so sharply it ached, swallowing more of him, inviting him inside of me as deeply as he would go, the head of his firm, thick cock sliding over my walls and spreading so much shivering sensation throughout my body.
Carter’s hands on my hips gripped me even tighter and his entire body shuddered as he pressed into me as deeply as he could go, emitting a low, erotic sound, like he was experiencing a pain so exquisite, he could hardly breathe. I pressed my ass and crotch into him, my muscles straining against the firm, hard shape of him, not wanting this to end.
But our muscles relaxed, and I became very aware of his fingers rubbing over the bare skin of my ass. His softened cock slid out of me, but he kept up his rubbing, his fingers reaching between my legs again to feel our mingled juices, the stickiness running down the inside of my trembling legs.
The rest of the world returned slowly, and I dropped my head, overwhelmed by the weight of what I’d just allowed to happen, and what I’d done myself. I had to give my body time to process the intense pleasure it had just experienced, the aftereffects making it extremely difficult to think of anything that didn’t involve how good Carter felt inside of me. My muscles were too weak to move, even as his fingers continued to move between my lips. He leaned to press a kiss into the lower part of my back, and that did it, igniting me with enough sudden energy that I straightened up and turned around to face Carter, who had a dreamy look on his attractive face, his eyes wide and glassy with emotion.
This was exactly what I’d tried to avoid before.
“That was incredible,” he whispered, and I agreed with him. Too bad we could never do it again. That much was more than clear to me now. I cursed myself, both for allowing it to happen to begin with and for how good my body felt, as though this was the only way it could feel true satisfaction.
“We can’t do that again, Carter,” I replied, also in a whisper.
His face crumpled into a disappointed expression. “What?”
I cursed myself again because I still wanted him, maybe even more than I had before we’d had sex, now that I knew how good it could be, and how well we fit together. My body was aching for him more than it ever had. But this was wrong. Mom and John were married. We were legally brother and sister. Whatever had happened between us before was done. We had to focus on what would come, and this couldn’t be any part of it.
“This was a mistake,” I blurted, stepping to the side and allowing my dress to fall back around my ankles again. The insides of my thighs were sticky from the juices of our lovemaking. I wanted him so badly, wanted this. His kissable lips, the shape of his cock, which was hanging out of his pants and getting hard again while I watched.
I shook my head as his lips parted to answer. “Just forget this ever happened. We can’t…” But I couldn’t even find the words to finish. If I stayed a minute longer, I’d end up bent over that table again.
I turned and ran from the room, leaving him and my thong behind me.
Carter
The Day after the Wedding
Dad and Alice had left on their honeymoon directly from the reception the night before, staying the night at a hotel next to the airport and flying out this morning to spend a week in Cozumel, soaking up the warm weather before they had to return to this winter tundra. So, I was home alone until I flew back to California just after New Year’s.
I hadn’t been able to sleep much at all after getting back to Dad’s house after the wedding. No matter what I did, my mind kept going back to how sweet and satisfying the sex had been with Sophia. When my eyes drifted shut, I saw her bent over that table in front of me, her ass tilted up to me, and legs open, her pink lips glistening with the wetness that was just waiting for me to enter. That left me with a rock hard cock, which made sleep completely impossible.
That one taste of her had only made me even thirstier. I was so parched for the wet feeling of her that I felt like I’d been wandering in a desert for weeks only to be given a single ounce of water before being sent on my way again.
I didn’t understand why she’d pulled away from me again. It was ridiculous to think of how unhappy we’d each been because we were in love with the other one and sure those feelings wouldn’t be reciprocated if we came clean about them. It was almost funny, besides the fact that it had cost us each years of our lives that we’d spent trapped in miserable uncertainty.
As close as we were, I would never understand why we just hadn’t had a discussion about how we felt. It would have saved us so much time and unhappiness. But we’d finally gotten on the same page, and I was grateful for that. It sucked that it was after our parents married each other, essentially making us siblings, but I didn’t really care about that. Lisa was right: it’s not like we were blood related. And even though we’d grown up together, it wasn’t as brother and sister.
I tried to occupy myself by tidying up the house and making a lunch that I didn’t end up eating, so I just pitched it into the trash. I put a load of my clothes in the washer, pushing Sophia to the back of my mind every time I started to think about her. By the time all the chores were done that I could think of, she was right there in the center of my thoughts again, where she’d always been. Where she belonged.
I hadn’t slept for shit, but I was full of jittery energy, and if I didn’t funnel it into something, I was going to scream. As I saw it, I had two choices to burn off that energy. One: I could shovel the front walk, driveway, and sidewalk. Two: I could change into some jeans and drive over to Sophia’s house to see what was going on with her. I was desperate to speak to her, but I didn’t have her number, and calling the house risked Lacey answering.
I ran upstairs to change into a pair of jeans, leaving on the sweatshirt I was wearing. I went back down to the living room to put on my boots on over my socks.
The doorbell rang.
I jogged to the door, wondering who would come out here the day after Christmas. All of Dad’s close friends and family had been at the wedding, so knew he wasn’t at home. I pulled the door open.
Sophia was standing on the other side, shivering in her bulky winter jacket.
My heart soared at the sight of her, but I forced myself to play it cool. She was here. It meant she wanted more, too. What else could it be?
“Come in,” I said, and stepped aside so she could enter the house, closing and locking the door behind her.
She shrugged out of her jacket as we walked to the living room. She threw it over the back of the armchair, and we sat down on the couch, not much space between us, I noticed. She was wearing dark wash, fitted jeans, and a sweater, her hair loose and falling over her shoulders. The cold weather had left two dots of color high on her cheeks, and one on her nose, as well. I wanted to kiss all three, but I didn’t want to frighten her away again, and I wanted to hear what she’d come to say.
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking down before bringing her dark eyes up to mine again, the heat in them lighting me up. At the sight of them, I had to twist my hands in my lap to keep from reaching to touch her face. “I just wanted to get that out before you said anything. I shouldn’t have run off like that. Or avoided you for the rest of the night.”
I smiled gently. “It was a lot to process.”
“And, the night wasn’t about us. It was about our parents.”
I tilted my head to one side, wondering if I’d ever get over how mystifying this girl was. Didn’t she understand her effect on me and that I couldn’t just pretend last night never happened?
“Why are you here, Sophia?”
She seemed startled by the question, but she answered immediately. “To apologize. For what happened last night and how I acted.” She stood from the couch and I craned my head to stare her in the face
as she stood above me. “I should go.”
I took her by the hand and didn’t really have to tug very hard to get her to sit back down again. I didn’t let go of her, letting the warmth of my skin cast out the winter chill of hers.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked, simply. I was done with not coming right out with what I wanted and how I was feeling. Not just with her, but with everyone. My only reward for stubborn silence was years of suffering on my own while I watched those around me enter into successful relationships. I wasn’t doing that again, no matter how high the cost of speaking out seemed to be.
“I’m not afraid of anything,” she said, squaring her small shoulders and doing the defiant chin tilt that she did whenever someone challenged her, even way back in elementary school. She tried to pull her hand away, but I didn’t let her go. I never wanted to let go again.
“I love you, Sophia. I always have.” She swallowed audibly at the sound of that, her rigidly held shoulders melting. “And you love me, too. You said so last night. There’s no reason to be afraid. I would never hurt you.”
She looked down at our hands as she squeezed my fingers. “I know that. But I just don’t know if we should be doing this. And, I know that if we sleep together again, I won’t be able to stop the floodgates from opening and all of those raw emotions from overtaking me.” Her eyes were on me again, the look in them urgent. I saw need there, and fear, and love.
