Ashes Remain

by Alethea Stauron

  “I only wanted to say… I’m thinking of renting out a room so I’m not alone while I wait for Lucius. It’ll help me get my mind straight… anyway. I’m not crazy. Just lonely. I’m lonely here in the country. I have no neighbors. All my friends are gonna be married. I have literally nothing… I mean… nothing to do other than chores.”

  “Sorry. David and I already signed a lease.”

  “I wasn’t asking y’all.”

  “The person would have to be single and responsible,” Amber said.

  “I’ll be fine. What do I have to worry about… someone using my shampoo? I’m fine, Amber. And people do it all the time. Think of it as my contribution to society.” She speaks with her hands, “in some small way I’m giving back. I’ll have a purpose.”

  ◆◆◆

  Josephine cleans left over fingerprints, wiping dust she’s discovered around all her frames. “Now it’s acceptable.” She stands back and admires the gleaming portraits. Her eyes travel toward borders around her stairwell, slowly hiking left over dusty frames lining several walls and cobwebbed corners. Her mouth drops. “I never realized how dusty this place has gotten.” She slouches a huff. “Spring cleaning is a must if I’m renting to anyone.”

  She vacuums upstairs over rugs, making headway above the kitchen area. “I guess dust falls on the just and unjust alike.” She marches into her old room, listening to heavy particles that suck through the vacuum with dings and chimes. “Yuck. This place is in need of an overhaul before I let any renter see it.” She rolls up her vacuum cord and looks over toward her old bed that’s still sloppy with blankets that haven’t been touched in four months. “Have I gone blind?”

  A ghost from her memory stops her. She recounts how Lucius had tucked her in and gave her a peck on the cheek during her recovery. I knew you were gonna try and kiss me, he said while smiling at her. I have to go to work. His sweet voice echoes through her mind.

  “I’ll be here when you get back,” she whispered as the memory faded. Josephine allows a few moments. She inhales deeply of what she would describe as his bliss-filled aroma filling her nostrils. No sound enters her house as her ears continue ringing from the vacuum that she turned off a few moments earlier. There’s no cracking door to signify that her honored guest has come home. She’s come to accept the resurgence of his fragrance… is a nostalgic memory. Her mind won’t let him go. And with that, she drags her vacuum from the room and places it outside the door onto the wooden-floored loft.

  Downstairs, she ties her shoes and sits on the couch as she readies herself for golfing. She prepares herself for something she never thought of doing on a whim. As an adult, it’s almost alien to her. “Maybe I shouldn’t,”

  but…

  her phone rings and COWBOY lights across her screen. “Hey, Cowboy.”

  “Hey, pretty Jojo. Are ya ready,” Drake asked. “Can you get me the directions to your place? I can be there in a jiffy. I’m by the dam you told me ‘bout.”

  “Sending them now. You’re close,” she said.

  Lucius’s nostrils blow like exhaust pipes as he listens in.

  Josephine’s winning at their first round. Drake wiggles his chin. “Dang, girl. I didn’t know you were a hustler. I’m glad I’m not wagering on this game. I’d be broke.”

  “Well,” seesawing a couple fingers at park amenities, “my dad used to take me here all the time when we had nothing to do. It’s been a couple of years since doing this, so it’s kind of a treat to be honest. I almost forgot what this place looked like.”

  “Seems a little rundown.”

  “Not really. It always had a country setting to it. Maybe it’s just the time of year. I can’t complain though when right down the road. The pool was always active out this way. The reason why my dad decided to put one in. Privacy.”

  “You gotta pool?”

  “I filled it in last year. There’s nothing but Timothy grass and Bermuda growing now. A lot greener than most yards out here. Having a sprinkler system helps.”

  He places his shot down and wiggles his hips as if planting rooted feet in the ground. “Hey, Jojo,” ogling at his shot, “I saw you lived in that big cabin… by yourself… out here in no man’s land.” He glances back at her. “Why’s that? You a hermit…” he winks, “… without a pool?”

  “I know why you’re not winning.” She signals with her nose. “You’re not paying attention because you’re looking back at me.”

  “You my instructor now, huh,” he chuckled. “You live out here all by yourself? Seriously…” loosening his grip over the club, “we’ve been out here almost an hour and I ain’t seen more than two people. And them was worker dudes.”

  “Actually… I’m about to start looking for someone to rent a room.” She watches his slouchy stance. “Face the putter where you want the ball to go. That’s the secret to golf. It doesn’t run on mind powers, no matter how good your supposed skills are.”

  He resituates his stance. “Like this?”

  “Yep. Don’t bend your elbows.”

  “I keep aiming for the hole, but it doesn’t wanna cooperate with me.” He putts. The ball hits several obstacles and travels back halfway toward him. “Augh.” He loops a putter baton in his hand. “My putter’s broken.” He points an index. “I did what you said.”

  She snickers. “You’ll get it.”

  He shoots a flirtatious glance over. “I will, will I,” twitching his brow a few times.

  “Putting just takes time…” She removes rocks from the course with her putter, “but you’ll get it in the hole.”

  He shakes his head as she misses the innuendo. “That’s what I plan on.”

  “Yeah… you’re so NOT funny.” Lucius bites his lip from behind brush.

  “What you said earlier.” Drake knocks the ball again and misses his second shot. “You done got my attention.”

  “About what?”

  “For one thing… what do you mean rent a room?” He hikes his lip on one side toward her. “All the way out here? A renter? Deer ain’t potty-trained.”

  She shrugs. “So I won’t be by myself, and you never know…” using her putter as a pointer, “Don’t hit it so hard. That’s not a bowling ball,” and continues, “… my neighbor died last year. There’s not anyone around for miles. I get lonely at times.”

  “A renter though? At your cabin?” He hitches a brow. Drake uses a smooth southern tongue. “Hey,” dancing his index toward her, “You know… that’s a great idea,” he praised. He wears a long face and troubled eyes follow. “I think it’s great what you’re doing. In fact, I know I had…” dragging a sorrowful speech with every word, “I’ve had a long run of bad luck when I couldn’t find a place to go after moving to this area. I needed an angel like you.” He nearly drops his putter. “Everybody has to have a real estate agent nowadays ‘round here.” His arms flare out. “What’s with that? San Antonio is almost as different from the rest of Texas as the East is from the West. Never used to be like that.” He finally takes his third shot with a deep exhale while pausing to gaze at her. “In fact, the sad thing is…” employing pouty eyes to work harder than before, “I’m ‘bout to have to move again. My landlady’s selling the place out from under me. I guess I just can’t catch a break in life. That’s why I thought of ending it. First my fiancé and now I’m gonna be homeless again.”

  “Again? You’ve been homeless before?”

  “Yep… go figure. Got a car I can sleep in at least. Life. Always hurts us good guys the most. A lamb to the slaughter in this day in age.”

  “Oh no.” She forgets it’s her turn, forgets what they’re doing, and even where they’re at. “I didn’t know she was your fiancée. And after the death of your sister? That’s terrible. You’re gonna be homeless too? What are you gonna do?”

  Lucius’s eyes widen. “What a complete liar.”

  Drake let’s his ideas simmer. He appears to contemplate sadly into nothing and shrugs to himself. “I honestly don’t know w
here life’s meaning has gone.”

  “Please don’t hurt yourself?” Josephine gazes at him and brings her golf club to rest on her shoulder. “You know… I could let you stay with me.” She places her hand over her chest and dives her chin down, “Just for a little bit. To help you until you find a place to stay. I do have three rooms. I’ll give you my old room,” swiping at the air as if it’s no big deal, “it’s closer to the hall bathroom anyways. I know it’s a commute, but…”

  “The heck did she just say?” Lucius presses both hands over his head as if holding himself down. “Please… not him, anybody, but not him?”

  “Nah.” Drake motions a weighted expression plastered across his face. “You’re too kind. I’m not worth the hassle…” He lowers his eyes, as if staring through the ground, “not to anyone nowadays.” He scratches his abdomen, as if nursing an empty belly. “Josephine, I’ll just rent a motel for a few weeks, until I run out of money. I’m used to going without. Besides, I can’t pay hardly anything a month right now. I don’t wanna ruin a priceless friendship. Not when you brought me so much hope already. You’re the only real friend I have left in this world. If it wasn’t for you, I would’ve done killed myself yesterday afternoon.”

  Lucius growls out a deep breath. “If only.”

  “I’ll just do what I need to do,” Drake said. “If it means I can’t afford to hang out at places like these, then so be it. But I could come over, if I get hungry,” pressing against his gut. “You’d be surprised how long you can go without food.”

  “No, Drake.” She stretches her arm out. Her eyes study his stance as he appears like an orphan wondering where his next meal will come from. “I’ve never had to go without basics like that. Please? If you’re in that much trouble, then I want you to stay at my house rent free. I wanna help you until you can get yourself taken care of. Besides, if you’re talking about hanging out with me at my place, you might as well stay anyway. I didn’t know it was so bad.”

  He offers a crooked grin. “Thanks, Josephine. That’s mighty Christian of ya. I’ll accept your offer.”

  Lucius drops his expression. “I’m gonna be in so much trouble for killing this guy.” His vision floats into empty space. “What a nightmare.”

  ◆◆◆

  Toward the end of their second game, Josephine remembers, “I know this seems weird now that you’re a housemate. I need to ask a favor. I don’t want any attachment. But I need your help with something.” She shuffles sideways. “Actually, it’s for a friend of mine. She won’t get off my back about it.”

  “Whatever your heart’s desire… ask away,” signaling with his nose toward the green, “just don’t make this hole,” and playfully notions, “I’m catching up.”

  She places down her putter to prepare for her next shot. Josephine bends forward to concentrate and doesn’t realize how she wiggles her hips when situating her feet. Drake admires the perfect shape of her hips and butt wiggling in front of him. He glances around, making sure no one watches. “You can ask me after this hole.” Drake buys more time for his imagination.

  Lucius restrains himself. “He better not even.”

  But…

  he does it.

  Drake pretends he’s bending her over and inappropriately makes gestures to himself.

  Lucius is red-faced. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this pissed off before.” He chants to himself. “Not in public. Not in public.” He concentrates on a tree. “He would look great hanging from that one,” and points, “or that one right there.” And his deep breathing ensues.

  Josephine putts her ball and watches it make a perfect line through two large stones. Hole-in-one. “You jinxed it… never point out that you’re catching up.” She sidesteps from the putting area.

  Drake casually walks around her. “Oh, girl. You’re better about getting it in the hole than I am.” He winks.

  “Don’t be gross, Drake.”

  An expression of shock covers Drake’s eyes. “Josephine! I ain’t believing you’d say that to me. You have a dirty mind.” He lightly taps his chest. “Is that what you’re gonna ask me? I hope you’re not always perverted like this.” He curls up one side of his mouth. “I’m a perfect gentleman, if you haven’t noticed.”

  Josephine says, “Drake, I know when people are letting vulgar things slip.”

  “I was plainly stating the obvious.” He points his putter. “You’re better at this game than me. Now stop. I don’t want those ideas in my head. You’re my friend.”

  “Sorry for any mistake…,” backing away, “but that isn’t what I was gonna ask.” She balances her golf club over her shoulder like Drake. “And… I know how a gentleman acts and that just didn’t sound like it. I’ve had gentlemen even apologize for similarities taken out of context.”

  “I’m terribly sorry it sounded like that.” Drake lowers his putter onto the course and squints his eyes. “Wait, you talk’n ‘bout that jackass who left you?” He raises his palm. “Excuse me if it’s offensive, but… he probably left for some other woman because he wasn’t getting what he wanted.” He jostles his jaw. “Yeah… he’s a real winner, Jojo. He’s truly an ideal gentleman to treat you like that if he really cared.”

  Lucius mumbles, “Oh, if I could ever kill a random man.” The world is spinning around him. “I can’t read this guy’s thoughts anymore.” He detaches his psychic ability. “I already wanna kill him. I’m not authorized for this one.”

  “I know how you feel about Lucius. I’d rather not talk about it.” Josephine buries the burden deep down for another day and another conversation. “I have a wedding I’ve gotta go to. My friends want me to bring someone to fill an empty chair.” She inhales. “I wanna know if you can go as a friend.”

  “A wedding date sorta thang.”

  “Sorta. Yeah.”

  “Heck, yeah. I’d like to go. That sounds like nice clean fun. Is it this Saturday? I’m free.”

  “Yes. I’ve gotta be there by noon. Ceremony’s at two.” Josephine drifts her hand out. “But you don’t have to go. I’m not forcing you. My friends just wanted me to bring somebody. They didn’t want me to look like I was stood up and already paid for the plate.”

  “Hey… you can count on me, Jojo.” He thumbs back at himself. “I wouldn’t abandon you for anyone. I’m your new best friend. Remember?” He rubs the back of her shoulder. “This man knows how to treat friends. I wouldn’t skip out on you with a lame excuse. Without a phone call neither.” He yanks his fingers over his mouth. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to jab at him again. I just like to see you smile. You’re pouting every time you talk about him.” He nods. “I’ll do it for you. I’ll be there. Just promise me you’ll smile for now on.”

  “Thanks, Drake.” She includes, “If Lucius were here, I would go with him.” She lowers her head. “But he did leave me… and… he doesn’t have a phone.”

  Lucius hangs his thousand-pound head to one side. “I never left, baby.” He stabs soft spiked hair against bark. “If you would just read the journal. Find out.”

  ◆◆◆

  Drake follows closely behind her car, pulling up to Josephine’s cabin. He parks in the driveway. “I’ll start moving things in tomorrow.” His window rolls completely down. “That’ll give me more time to get my stuff together before she changes the locks on me after learning that I’m moving.” He shrugs. “They do that you know… not everyone’s as honest like us.” He balances his hand on the wheel, pulling a stick shift into reverse. “Well, I’ve gotta run. Gotta few deliveries to make before this weekend’s activities. And I gotta get my clothes in order, so I have something to wear that’s cleaned.”

  “Oh,” Josephine strolls up to his window, “What do you do for a living? I forgot to ask.”

  Lucius hunches between trees. “I gotta hear this.” He moves closer and squats as low as he can.

  Drake tilts his shoulder. “I just make…” moving his hands slightly, as if providing his explanation in simple terms, “jus
t some boring deliveries. I never know.” He cranks a brow. “But people need what I deliver sometimes,” stretching his chin, “and sometimes I have to make them at night. Depends on the situation.”

  “Hmm…” Josephine’s brows weave together, “At night?”

  Drake elevates his eyes, heaving trust back into her court. “Oh, those are to serve my community.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, the ones at night. They’re generally breakfast type of things for orphanages. I have to make sure it’s fresh before they make breakfast for the poor souls. I’m kinda like the bread delivery guy or the milkman. The only difference is that I bring the stuff they don’t deliver. What can I say? I just have a heart for kids. I’m a big softy and sometimes give out of my own pocket to help them.” He strokes his chest with a crescendo of swollen lips. “It’s a sacrifice… I know… but it blesses the little children in our area.” His sad puppy dog eyes could have a song written about them. He says, “Jesus loves the little children. So do I. They’re the future of our tomorrow. Who’d take care of them, if it wasn’t for people like us? It’s why I’d rather starve instead of the little chickadees.”

  “What is he talking about?” Lucius drags his cheeks while bowling seasick eyes. “She can’t be buying this.”

  Josephine pinches her top shirt button and puffs out her lips. “Oh…” she sighs, “You’re such a sweet man. I love children. I used to babysit David’s six sisters all the time. He’s my friend that’s getting married. I had no idea that’s why you were gonna go hungry. I adore children.”

  Lucius and Drake give the same response simultaneously, “What?”