This Time Around

by Walker, Aimee Nicole

  “How much time do we have left?” Brent asked Tyler.

  “Um, about forty-five minutes,” Adam answered. “We won’t get an entire game in, but we can declare a winner when the time is up.”

  “You guys think you can beat us again?” Brent asked.

  “Uh, yeah,” I said confidently. “I’ll run and get us a pitcher of soda while you guys work on your comeback game plan.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Ollie offered.

  “I can carry a pitcher of soda by myself,” I teased. “Unless there’s something else you would like to buy.” Or something you want to say to me.

  “Yeah, I’ll buy some snacks for the group and a bottle of water for myself.”

  “Tag along then, friend.”

  I expected Ollie to speak his mind as soon as we were out of earshot, but he said nothing until we were standing off to the side waiting for our order. In fact, he might not have said anything without a little prompting from me.

  “It’s okay to say what you’re thinking, Oliver.”

  “What am I thinking, Milo?”

  “You’re wondering if I’m good for Andy, or maybe if I’m good enough for Andy.”

  Oliver nodded his head subtly.

  “It’s okay that you doubt me since you don’t really know me, or even all that much about Andy.”

  “I know Andy better than you think, Milo,” he said softly. Then his eyes widened when he realized how that sounded. “Not in the biblical sense.”

  “You mean naked?” I clarified. “I know that. Andy already told me, and he wouldn’t lie to me.”

  “You’re right about that. He wouldn’t lie.”

  “Can I ask why you’re concerned about my relationship with Andy?”

  “I’m afraid that stress from a relationship with you could cause him setbacks.”

  “Ouch,” I said, rubbing my hand over my chest to alleviate the sting of his words. It would’ve been less painful if he twisted my nut sack. “Andy’s happiness and sobriety are my top concerns.” I wished like hell that his blunt words hadn’t caused tears to well in my eyes and doubt to infiltrate my mind. Bad for Andy? Was that true?

  “The past two years have been harder on him than you realize, Milo. In fact, I wasn’t aware that the two of you had reconnected and was extremely worried when Andy missed the weekly meeting and didn’t even call to check in with me. That is something that has never happened in the two years that I’ve known him, Milo.”

  “Things are good between us now. We’ve talked things through and—”

  “Yes, it’s all new and exciting again. But what happens if it doesn’t work out between you? I don’t want Andy to tumble into that dark hole like he did the last time you quit on him.”

  “Excuse me,” I said angrily. “You know nothing about me or my past with Andy. You’ve heard one side of the story and feel like you know it all.”

  “What’s your side then, Milo? You didn’t just dump him at the first sign of trouble?”

  “It’s not that simple, Oliver, and let’s not forget that I was sixteen years old. Quite frankly, I don’t owe you an explanation. I appreciate that you’re Andy’s sponsor, and I do believe you want what is best for him. You and I will have to disagree that you’re what’s best for him and call it a day. I won’t give him up, Ollie.”

  “Even if that’s in his best interest?”

  I looked over to our lane and saw Andy chatting, smiling, and laughing with his friends. He must’ve felt my gaze on his because he looked my way. That smile on his face turned from happy to delirious in a blink of an eye.

  I blew him a kiss then turned back to Ollie who had watched the exchange. “If I thought for a second that I was a danger to Andy’s sobriety, I would walk away. That is not the case. I love him, Ollie. I’ve always loved him. I admit I was young, brash, and brokenhearted when things didn’t work out between us fourteen years ago when we were kids, but I’m a grown-ass man now who’s head over heels for Andy Mason. This time around is very different. So, you can either get on board and support us, or continue deluding yourself that Andy will belong to you someday. If you can’t be objective in your sponsorship, then you need to refer him to someone else. It’s my belief that your relationship with him is potentially the unhealthy one.”

  Ollie didn’t have a chance to respond because the pitcher of soda was slid in front of me.

  “Sorry for the delay, fellas,” the guy behind the counter said. “Your food will be right out.”

  I took the pitcher and left Ollie standing at the counter. I had nothing else to say, and there was nothing I wanted to hear out of his mouth, except an apology. I could see that he hadn’t reached that point, and there was no reason for me to hang around. I returned to the only man who’d held my heart, the same one who smiled happily when I stopped in front of him.

  “I love you too, Andy.”

  I didn’t say it because I felt threatened by Ollie. I said it because it was the absolute truth, and I wanted to prove that we were done with childish games. Teasing was one thing, but toying with emotions was another.

  “Now, let’s whip some more ass.”

  “You have a lot of explaining to do,” I told Milo as soon as we were alone in my truck after winning the rematch. “Did Tucker teach you how to bowl like that?”

  “Do you really want me to answer that question?” Milo countered.

  “I wouldn’t have asked it otherwise.”

  “Lots of people ask questions they either don’t really want the answer to or when they already know the answer. Then there’s you who falls into both camps.”

  “Do not,” I countered, but he was right. I didn’t really want to hear that Tucker was the one who taught Milo how to improve his aim, but knew he was the most likely culprit. Did Tuck press his body tight against Milo’s and move with him as he went through the motions? Did that lead to other things when Milo felt the proof of how much Tucker wanted him?

  “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Milo groaned. “I can see that bowling porn is playing in your head right now. I assure you that the reality is a lot less sexier than what you’re thinking.” Milo released a dramatic sigh then crooked his finger so I would lean over the console and meet him halfway for a kiss. “I was going to tell you that I fucked the entire bowling team at Blissville High just to get pointers in case this day ever came, but we’re past playing games…with each other.”

  “That’s right. I’m a mature adult who can handle it.”

  “Yes, Tucker was the one who helped me improve my bowling game. Little did he know that it was just another way that I tried to stay connected to you. I never really let you go, Andy. No matter where I was, or who I was with, you were always there.”

  “That must’ve been a crowded bed,” I replied dryly. “Sorry, that was a dickhead thing to say.”

  “Lucky for you, I like to give your dick head, so I’ll give you a pass this once. However, I do think we should clear the air a bit more.” Milo smiled wryly at me and his eyes twinkled with mirth in the darkness. “I wasn’t as sexually active as I might’ve led on. All that flirting with the hunky superintendent and the others was for your benefit.”

  “You don’t say,” I deadpanned.

  “I know, I’m quite the actor.”

  “Well, I wasn’t as indifferent to the flirting as I let on. I might’ve wanted to smash some windows or slash tires,” I confessed.

  “You don’t say,” Milo repeated just as wryly.

  “We’re so mature and shit. I told you it would be different this time around. No more running and hiding behind pretense.” I wasn’t sure what I said to make Milo look uneasy. I opened my mouth to say something to him, but there was a knock on my truck window. I looked and saw that Ollie was standing next to my door.

  “You left your phone on the table,” Ollie said loud enough so I could hear him through the glass. He held my cell phone up for me to see. I rolled down my window, and he handed it to me.

  “Thank y
ou, Ollie. I hate how much I depend on that thing, but it’s pretty vital for my business.”

  “You must’ve been really distracted to leave it behind then.” Ollie’s mouth turned up at one corner. “Or in a hurry to celebrate your victory.” Oddly, it seemed like he aimed that last part at Milo. I’d gotten a weird vibe from them all damn night, and I needed to figure out what was going on between them.

  “Uh, something like that,” I replied. I mean, Ollie was cool and all, but he was still a pastor. Talking about sex or hinting that I’m about to be balls deep in Milo, or he in me, just felt awkward.

  “Drive careful, guys.”

  “Will do. I’ll be at the meeting on Wednesday,” I assured him.

  “I look forward to it. You can always reach me by phone should something come up and you need me before then.”

  I just blinked at him because I felt like his words had double meaning. Did Ollie think that my relationship with Milo was a fleeting thing? Did he still hold out hope that maybe we could be together? When Ollie confessed that his feelings for me extended beyond his sponsorship, he had assured me that he would find another sponsor for me if I returned his feelings, or if his interest made me feel uncomfortable.

  Ollie was a beautiful person, inside and out, but I wasn’t attracted to him in that way. He needed to accept that there could never be anything between us beyond friendship, regardless if Milo was in the picture or not.

  “Your friendship means a lot to me, Ollie.” It was the only thing I knew to say right then. I could tell it wasn’t what he hoped to hear because I saw his inner light dim.

  “Likewise,” he said jovially, but it seemed forced. Then he looked at Milo once more and his smile turned brittle. “It was good to meet you, Milo. I meant to tell you that after the game ended, but you seemed eager to be someplace else.”

  I expected Milo to zing him with a snarky comeback, but he surprised me. “I look forward to getting to know you better, Ollie. Any friend of Andy’s is also a friend of mine.” I looked at Milo so fast I nearly got a crick in my neck. There wasn’t a shred of sarcasm, boastfulness, or spite in his voice. He was sincere.

  Ollie visibly relaxed, and I wondered exactly what they said to each other when they went to get drinks and snacks between games. “Goodnight, fellas.”

  I watched Ollie walk away for a few seconds before I rolled up my window and looked at Milo. He too was watching my friend depart and looked at me when he realized I was observing him. I would describe Milo’s expression as speculative and maybe a little unsure, but about what? Did he still believe there was something between Ollie and me?

  “I’ve never been involved in a relationship with him. I’ve never kissed him or was intimate with Ollie in any way.”

  “I know,” Milo said softly. “I believe you, Andy.” I wasn’t expecting such a mild reaction from him.

  “What exactly did you guys talk about?” I asked.

  “That’s between Ollie and me,” Milo stated. Regardless of his words, I saw that something was weighing on his mind. I had to respect that he would talk to me about it when he was ready.

  “Ready to get home?” I’d practically moved myself into his place, but it was the first time I’d implied it was my home too.

  “Yes,” Milo said breathlessly. “I’m sure Alli Cat will have found a way to show her displeasure at being left home all by herself this evening.”

  “You mean like barfing inside my work boots?” I asked.

  “Yeah, or pissing on the jeans you left on my bedroom floor.”

  Alli Cat adored me at first, but that didn’t last long once she was banned from the bedroom at night. “Why would your cat blame your absence on me? Surely you spent some nights away from home before I came back into your life.”

  “Not really,” Milo said. “I never brought guys home, and I didn’t date much. She knows you’re the culprit.”

  “I need to make amends with her.”

  “You’re a smart man, Andy. You can always surprise her with a few catnip toys from Brook’s Pets.”

  “That’s what I’ll do.”

  The drive home was quiet. In fact, I expected Milo to be asleep when I glanced over, but he was pensively looking out his window, not that there was anything to see on dark country roads.

  “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

  Milo jerked slightly in his seat like the sudden sound of my voice startled him. “I think it would be better to show you.” He sounded worried, and that didn’t bode well for me.

  Alli Cat greeted us loudly when we arrived, expressing her displeasure at being abandoned for nearly an entire day since Milo only came home long enough to shower and feed her before we left on our date. She wove in and out of her daddy’s legs until he picked her up and cuddled her against his chest.

  “How much does that beast weigh?” I asked.

  Milo and the cat both looked at me; one looked amused and the other looked annoyed. “Slugger, you never ask a lady about her weight or age.”

  “Oh, I thought that only applied to human ladies.”

  “Ladies are ladies, isn’t that right, Alli Cat? She doesn’t want to be shamed over her twenty-six pounds. It’s taken her five years to achieve such amazingness, and it should be celebrated, not scorned.”

  “Forgive me,” I said seriously, scratching beneath the cat’s chin. “I’ll never ask such personal details again.”

  “Well, this is a good segue into the thing I need to show you,” Milo said after taking a deep breath and setting his cat down on the ground.

  I couldn’t imagine how we were segueing from his cat’s sensitivity about her weight and age to whatever he wanted to show me, but both his feline and I followed him upstairs to his room.

  “Get comfy on my bed. I’ll be back in a few minutes after I’ve worked my courage up.” His voice shook with nerves, and I hated to see him so upset.

  “Milo, whatever you think you need to show or tell me isn’t necessary unless you’re ready.”

  “It really is, Andy. I should’ve confessed to this after that dinner with your family.”

  I realized then he was referring to his years as a drag queen. Did he still worry that it would be a turn-off or something? “I love you, Milo, and that won’t change when you reveal your secret identity to me.”

  “You make it sound like I was a spy, and I assure you it was nothing that exciting. I’ll be right back. Don’t fall asleep.”

  “Fat chance of that.”

  “Freddy will get you if you do.”

  “Milo!” I shouted when he ducked out his door. “You know how much I hated those fucking movies. I didn’t sleep for a week each time you talked me into watching them.” Milo’s laughter bounced off the walls of the hallway as he walked away from his room. “Have you ever notice that the strong, dumb jock is one of the first to die in horror movies?” I yelled. “I think those writers or movie producers use their jobs to get even at jocks that made their lives miserable in high school or something.”

  “You’re not dumb, Andy,” Milo yelled back. It sounded like he was in the bedroom next to his. I heard a lot of thumping around in what I assumed was the closet on the other side of the wall behind his bed. What did he keep in there? “You’re the furthest thing from a dumb jock, but I can see how it’s hard to shake that stigma. It doesn’t help when you look the way you do.”

  “How’s that exactly?” I prompted because I liked having my ego stroked on occasion.

  “Sexy as fuck,” Milo replied in a matter-of-fact tone. “People look at you and see your ripped muscles, athleticism, and good looks, and they can’t imagine that God blessed you with a brain too. How fair would that be to the rest of the dudes?”

  “Blessed, huh?”

  “Well, God does love her rainbow babies the best.”

  I laughed because I thought Ollie would agree with Milo, except for the gender of the almighty. I would love to hear them debate why Milo thinks God is a she while Ollie
sticks with masculine pronouns because that’s what’s in the bible. At least that’s what I think Ollie’s argument would be anyway. I opened my mouth to reply, but his bedroom door crashed open and there he stood in the doorway, wearing a sequined gown with a slit clear up to his thigh. The dress looked vaguely familiar, but I was distracted when he turned to the side and I could see the full length of his toned leg and that perky bubble butt that I… Something about the pose and the gown seemed really familiar, but blood was heading south in a hurry. I wanted him to lose that dress and ride my cock.

  “I didn’t bother to tuck the boys away since I’m not performing for you tonight. I just wanted to show you my favorite dress. I haven’t worn it in a long time.”

  I finally glanced up and looked at Milo’s face. His body language spoke of confidence, but his expression gave away his nervousness. Why? I already knew he’d performed drag. He acted like wearing this outfit should have special meaning or something. I looked at the blonde wig that reminded me of Marilyn Monroe. Then it hit me. I had seen this exact outfit on a drag queen, one who had honestly turned me inside out with a smoldering glance, and a provocative pout of luscious lips. I remember lusting after those long legs and wanting to feel them wrapped around my waist while I gripped that firm ass and fucked the man beneath the gown. Afterward, I felt guilty for wanting someone other than Milo.

  Then I recalled the other dress Madame Something Peach wore to give Ollie a fucking lap dance for his birthday that nearly had him coming in his jeans along with the rest of the audience. I jackknifed off the bed and headed for the doorway. Milo jumped aside when I reached the door and followed me into the spare bedroom. I went straight for the large closet and began searching through hundreds of dresses and outfits until I found the one I was looking for. The white halter dress that looked just like the one in Marilyn’s famous pictures. The one that he wore to flash Ollie his ass while the rest of us cheered him on. Or her? What the hell was I supposed to call Milo when he was in drag?

  I held up the dress and turned to Milo. All color had leached from his face, and he looked scared. “No wonder you acted funny when I introduced you to Ollie. You had no idea you gave my NA sponsor and friend a boner.”