by C. R. Jane
"I don't think he's done with you," she said as we stood there. "How could he be?"
I groaned. I literally left the table and ended up on the bathroom sinks with another guy. "He should hate me."
"Don't be so hard on yourself," she chided gently, socking me softly in the arm. “Landry would be a fool if he somehow missed that something was going on between you and Jackson. It's so obvious that it's practically pasted to both of your foreheads."
I snorted and smiled fondly at my friend. Lane was dressed in some kind of Victorian, black, lacy dress with black stilettos and had been getting looks all night. The girl had style. I really needed her to teach me her ways.
"They're inside," Lane squealed as she started to drag me towards the entrance where two people in Grim Reaper costumes manned the doors. They didn't say anything, and I couldn't see their faces, but it felt like they were staring hard at me. Unease slid down my neck.
We walked inside, and I immediately had an iron grip on Lane's arm. It was freaking dark, and I started to sweat as I thought about the snake and being trapped in that cellar. This was the worst idea in the history of the world.
A killer clown jumped out from the shadows, and we both shrieked. My voice was going to be hoarse after this. We waded through a room set up to resemble a prison cell. Screaming prisoners reached out for us as a guy with an axe sticking out of his head jumped out from behind us. Another room held a bloody operation room, complete with someone lying on a stretcher missing half their body and random body parts littered around the room. There was a mad scientist room, a vampire room, a room made up of crazy mirrors. On and on it went. Lane seemed like she was having the time of her life next to me, but I was about to start running.
I stopped short when we entered a room designed to look like it was filled with snakes. There were cages set up along all of the walls with hopefully fake snakes on them. Lights cast snake images on the floor and there was a hissing sound playing through the speakers.
I screamed as something slid beside my ankles. The lights that were dimly lighting the room all of a sudden clicked off ,casting us in darkness. It was like someone had decided to combine my two worst fears in one room.
"Lane," I squeaked, reaching out for her. I caught a piece of her clothing and moved closer to her.
Suddenly, a breath on my ear whispered, "I'm not Lane." Then a hand was clasped over my mouth, and I was dragged backward.
I started kicking and crying but the sounds coming out of my mouth were muffled, and the hissing sounds covered everything else. I was dragged into a dark tunnel, and then there were what felt like a million hands pulling at me in the darkness.
"Killer."
"Slut."
"Cunt."
"Bitch," the voices cried. Over and over, until I felt like I was going mad.
All of a sudden, the hands pushed me forward and I fell through the side of the tunnel, onto my face and into the exit of the set-up. The hockey players had just come out, and I scared them probably even more than what they'd just gone through by appearing suddenly out of nowhere.
I was screaming and crying and looking around for anyone I knew. Landry was there all of a sudden, coming from the back of the group. He picked me up and called for someone to call 911.
Lane dashed out of the exit just then, a panicked look on her face. "Everly!" she cried. "What happened?"
"Someone grabbed me," I sobbed. "Someone at this school is after me." I buried my head in Landry's neck, and I heard him asking Lane what I was talking about. Landry carried me out of the indoor facility into the cool night air, and I began to catch my breath. My heart was still beating out of my chest, and I was sure there were bruises on both knees from where I'd been pushed.
I stood there huddled against Landry while Lane fluttered around me until a squad car pulled up. A cop strode towards us. He had a crisp navy uniform that unfortunately for him looked to be at least a size too small, judging by the way his belly bulged above his belt. His partner, a severe-looking female cop followed after him. "Are you the ones that called 911?" the male cop asked. The three of us nodded, and I pulled myself away from Landry. The cold and the adrenaline were making me shiver.
"Someone attacked me in there," I told him shakily. "They pulled me out of one of the rooms, and then there were people touching me and yelling things at me. And then finally, they threw me out here."
The two cops looked at each other. My story sounded crazy, but surely they thought it was too crazy for someone to make up.
The woman cop came up to me. "What's your name, sweetheart?" she asked kindly. "I'm Officer Wilson."
"Everly James," I responded in a choked voice.
"Your last name is James?" the overweight cop asked, and just by the way he said it, I knew what he had to be thinking. James might be a common name around the country, but in this state, it only made people think of one thing.
"Yes," I responded curtly.
Officer Wilson cleared her throat.
"There's been someone after her since she came to this school," interjected Lane. "Someone put a snake in the bathroom and locked her in one of the building's cellars. She has some kind of stalker."
"Hmmmm," Officer Wilson said with a frown. She pulled out a notepad and started to write something down, but I could tell by her partner's body language that as soon as he'd heard my last name, any hope I'd had for getting help was going to be gone.
"Well, we will look into this and get back to you," he said, taking a step away.
"Don't you need her contact information?" snapped Landry, sounding angry on my behalf.
The male cop flushed in anger at Landry's tone, but Officer Wilson did step forward to take my information.
I didn't feel any better after they left.
"You're sleeping in my room tonight," said Lane, rubbing my back and giving everyone who had gathered around us to watch a dirty look. "You guys are all fucking twisted," she yelled out as she stared everyone down, like she was trying to find out who the culprits were.
"Let's just go," I whispered, my voice feeling scratchy from all the screaming I'd done. I looked at Landry, who was standing there, gazing at me with something that looked a lot like longing.
"Thanks for letting me freak out all over you," I told him awkwardly. I couldn't look at Landry without thinking about the other night.
"Anytime, Everly. And you still owe me a full date," he said charmingly. My mouth dropped open at that. Maybe he was crazy. Or just enjoyed pain. Because that was all he was going to get by spending time with me. "Do you guys need a ride?"
"Are you parked in the athletic parking lot? Because that's about as far as our dorm is," answered Lane, and he nodded.
"True."
"See you later, Landry," I told him, giving him a hug. He pulled me close to him and buried his face in my hair. I swore he took a big inhale. It was a little bit uncomfortable when I pulled away from him, and now his cheeks were flushed.
Lane luckily took control of the situation and pulled me away to walk back to our dorms.
I shook as we walked. I hated feeling out of control of my life, and that was the very description of my time since coming here. Lane began to discuss various people she suspected it could be, and I didn't recognize anyone she named. Surely it was someone that I'd met at some point. Except really...there was only a handful of people I knew at this school.
I looked back just then, something calling me. And I knew even before I saw him who it was.
Jackson.
He stood in the entryway of where the dance was being held, and he just watched me. Catching me in his stare, he lifted two fingers and brought them to his lips, sending me a kiss that felt more like a warning.
I didn't have anything I could say in return.
I was too tired of playing a game that I didn't know all the rules to.
I was too tired of nursing a bleeding heart.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
THEN
They said
that time healed all wounds, but two months had passed, and I hadn't found that to be the case. I missed Jackson. I missed everything about him. I played our history on repeat through my useless brain—sledding on a snowy winter day, pizza on Fridays, the warmth of his fingers as he held my hand, lazy Sundays, racing in the pool, the stubborn set of his jaw, but most of all, the brilliant smile that that touched me like a bright star in the darkest part of a midnight sky and that I suspected he kept just for me.
I didn't have a chance to love Caiden the way he wanted, because his brother had stolen my heart who knew how long before.
It made me a monster, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't want to.
There was a party tonight. I'd never been one for social events, but Caiden had been on a tear this summer. He'd accepted every invitation he'd been given—there were about a million of them—and I had started to get the sneaking suspicion that he was doing it just to show me off. Inevitably, Jackson would show up at some point, Victoria on his arm, and then the night would be even more miserable.
I couldn't wait for school to start. It was amazing that I'd been dreading this next year so much since the guys would be at their new school. Things had changed so much, and for someone who didn't like change to begin with, I was having a lot of trouble coping with it all.
I'd lost two best friends the day that I'd started dating Caiden and it was funny that even at a crowded party, I somehow felt more alone than ever.
"Can you stop looking so fucking depressed, Everly?" snapped Caiden as we walked to the bonfire. I cringed at his tone. It was how he talked to me almost all the time now. Nothing I did was right to him. I stopped in my tracks, sick to death of feeling this way.
"If you don't like it so much, Caiden, we can be done," I hissed at him.
He moved fast, pinning me against a tree with the weight of his body. He grabbed my chin with one hand, gripping it so hard, I knew it would leave a bruise. He'd been doing that a lot lately, but never as aggressively as this.
"Listen here, you little bitch. We're never going to be done. The sooner you accept that, the sooner things will be easier for you."
I was shaking, and he seemed to like that because he pressed against me even closer, until my back was digging against the tree. "Caiden...why?" I whispered.
"You just don't understand how much I love you," he told me, his voice coming out pained and raw.
If this was love, it was the dirty and flawed form of it that ruined people's souls. It wasn't a love that I would wish on anyone else.
"Are you going to behave?" he asked, and I nodded stiffly, sure my anger shone in my eyes. "LyLy," he said, his voice changing to sweet so suddenly that it gave me whiplash. "I don't want it to be like this. You don't have to make it so difficult."
I said nothing, and he sighed before pushing me hard against the tree for good measure, snapping my head against the bark. I gritted my teeth from the pain, aware he would get even angrier if I cried. "Come on," he ordered, before grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the bonfire crowded with people that I wanted no part of.
I stood there as Caiden courted his loyal followers, numb inside, lost, and afraid.
And then I saw him.
He was standing across the fire from me. Victoria was hanging off of him while she talked to someone, but his eyes were on me. Only on me.
Kiss my soul, my eyes begged.
I want to, his answered back.
"I'll be right back," I whispered to Caiden, but I didn't even pay attention if he heard me, I just walked away. Even without looking, I knew Jackson followed.
He met me in the glen right behind the party. A new song started. I recognized it instantly. It was “Chasing Cars,” an odd choice for a party to be sure.
He stared at me, and I was undone. The violins came in, then the piano, and then the slow and sure beating of a drum.
And in that moment, I thought I loved him.
And in that moment, I thought I might want to marry him someday.
And the music built, and our hands met.
And I looked up into his soft blue eyes, and I cried.
Fight for me. Want me. I whispered to him without saying any actual words.
His lips collided against mine, devouring me, hard and strong. His tongue plunged past my lips, and I took him in, kissing him back with everything I had. His body sank against mine, melting into me. He twisted his fingers roughly through the strands of my hair and his other hand—oh fuck, his other hand slid up the bare skin of my leg and gripped my ass through my shorts, pulling me harder against him. The pressure between my thighs tightened, and I could feel the hardness of him perfectly aligned with me–just his old, faded blue jeans and the thin material of my shorts keeping us apart.
And I didn’t want to stop him.
I wanted him. I wanted that boy more than anything in the world.
I’d spent the entire night stunned that it happened, pressing my fingers to my lips to recapture the feeling of it. His mouth was as soft and pliant as I’d remembered. And then he deepened the kiss. He sought it out like he needed to own my every breath. Groaning low in his throat and pulling me tight against him, he kissed me hard, like it was something he’d wanted for a long, long time. It was a perfect kiss—a life-altering kiss.
Even now, my fingers kept going to my lips, trying to recapture it. He left and returned to the party. He couldn't even look at me.
And it didn’t matter because now I knew for sure, whether or not he’d admit it, some part of him wanted this too.
I had to end it with Caiden.
I waited until Caiden dropped me off, too afraid to do it in person after what had happened earlier. My hands were shaking as I picked up my phone. I was ugly inside, selfish, worthless...the worst kind of human. But I couldn't do it anymore.
"Caiden, I can't be with you," I told him in a choked voice as soon as he picked up. I was such a coward for doing this over the phone. "It's changing you into something I don't even recognize. I just think we need to go back to being friends. It's what's best for both of us."
There was just silence on the other end of the phone. His breath echoed down the line in short, tempered pants. Then a wounded sound came out of him, like he was a dying animal, and I never wanted to hear that sound again. I hated this. I hated hurting him. But I hated us more.
"You can't do this," he said brokenly.
"We're done," I told him woodenly, even as all the pieces of me that Caiden owned since I met him chipped away.
And I realized that I felt free.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
NOW
Jackson
I hadn't slept in what seemed like days. When I'd finally fallen asleep last night—thanks to some sleeping pills—I found myself trapped in nightmares starring Caiden. In my dream, he just stared at me, his eyes dead, only for pieces of him to shatter and disappear right in front of me.
So, now I was here. Sitting beside Caiden's bed, staring at the person I'd destroyed.
I didn't come here often. It was too hard. My parents urged me to visit him, saying that he could hear me when I spoke and we needed to be there for him, but I left all that to them.
I was the last person Caiden would want to hear from.
The clock ticked loudly on the wall. My exhaustion was bone-deep. But it wasn't just physical.
I was so tired of hating Everly, and for hating myself for the fact that I'd been in love with a girl almost my whole life.
The fun of this push-pull between us since she'd reappeared had quickly faded. And now I just felt a hollow ache.
"I don't think I can stop myself, brother," I whispered hoarsely as I stared at him.
Would you ever have forgiven me? I wondered in my head, not able to say the words out loud.
I swear, a voice inside my head answered, No.
Sighing, I stood up to leave, taking one last look at my twin. His motionless form represented years of guilt.
"I can't do it anymor
e," I told him quietly.
At least I could console myself that I wouldn't have to face my brother in hell.
That place would be reserved for me and my sins.
Everly
This school was ruined for me. Monsters were everywhere. Every student was a suspect, and I constantly looked behind me to see if someone was following me.
And I was pretty sure it was all because of him.
Which was why today, I, Everly James, had decided to stop being Jackson Parker's doormat, and I was going to confront him.
I texted him after class.
We need to meet.
The three dots on my phone told me he'd seen my message, and I waited anxiously for him to answer back.
I'm intrigued.
What an insufferable prick, I thought as I read his response.
E: Meet me in the library at 7.
J: No, let's meet by the lake.
E: I'm only meeting you in a public place, asshole.
J: Scared?
Scared. The word taunted me. I hated how easily he bated me, but last time I'd tried to meet him somewhere I'd ended up in a cellar. There was no way I was making that mistake again.
Library only.
There was another long pause as I waited for him to respond.
Meet you in the stacks on floor 6.
I could do this. I could end whatever this was once and for all. I could stop fearing what life would be like if Jackson Parker wasn't there.
He was waiting for me when I arrived, already set up in a table far too secluded for my liking. Since I was new here, I hadn’t realized that level six of the stacks were ones that were underground. There were study tables set up here and there, but only the most serious of students would come down here. It was seriously creepy. I was tempted to run for the hills, but the look on his face was so sullen, I couldn't stop myself from continuing to walk towards him.
