Distinguished Bumpkin

by Sam Cheever

  “I’d love to.”

  “Where do you need me?” Hal asked.

  Max narrowed her gaze on him. “Can you cook?”

  “I can take direction with the best of them.”

  “He’s being modest. He’s a great cook,” I told Max.

  “Good. Poor Tom is overwhelmed back there. Two of our cooks called in sick, and Tom’s been here since seven this morning. If you could help him, I’d really appreciate it.”

  Hal touched her shoulder. “You got it.” He strode toward the swinging door and disappeared into the kitchen.

  Max looked at me. There were tears in her eyes. She gave me a quick hug. “Thanks so much. I’ll owe ya a big one.”

  “Anytime,” I said. “Just save us a slice of pie, and we’ll be even.”

  She laughed. “I’ll save you a whole dang pie. Now, let’s get you a pad and an apron.”

  “I said I didn’t want peas,” a cranky elderly woman I didn’t know barked out. “They give me gas. I wanted the green beans.”

  I bit back a retort and apologized, grabbing the plate back. “I’m sorry. I’ll go fix it.”

  “Miss!” I barely made it two steps before one of the pre-teens in booth four waved me over.

  I forced myself to smile. “Yes?”

  “We asked for catsup twenty minutes ago. Our fries are cold now. We want new fries.”

  I looked around the table and fought panic. Six plates with burgers and fries. I’d have to drop off the pea-phobic lady's plate and come back. It had been a long time since I’d hustled plates, and I wasn’t sure I could carry six of them at once. That meant two trips, and my dogs were beyond tired.

  Max came up behind me and handed the kids a bottle of catsup. “Stop torturing Joey,” she told the complaining teen, glowering down at him. “Or I’ll tell your mom I saw you kissing Missy Palentine outside the library last night.”

  The boy’s pimply face paled, and he slumped in his seat.

  I fought a grin. Whispering, “Thanks!” to Max, I hurried to the kitchen for a pea-extraction. Stopping in front of the pass-thru window, I was surprised to see Hal working the grill. “Where’s Tom?”

  Hal looked up, his handsome face flushed from the heat of the grill. His dark eyes twinkled as he looked at me. “Cigarette break out back. I think he’s smoking a whole pack. He’s been gone for a while.”

  I frowned. “You doing okay?”

  He actually grinned. “I’m having a ball. Did I ever tell you I worked in a place a lot like this to put myself through college?”

  “You did not.” I grinned back. “But now that I know, I’m going to make you do all the cooking from now on.”

  He arched a midnight brow. “I already do all the cooking. Even, it seems, when we go out to eat.”

  I laughed. He wasn’t wrong. “Can you swap out these peas for green beans, please?” I leaned in. “Peas give her gas.” He grimaced and quickly made the switch. Handing it back to me, he said, “Even if Tom’s heading for Mexico right now, I’d rather be back here than dealing with all those people out there.”

  “You have no idea,” I whispered. “It’s an angry crowd.”

  I took the plate back to the old woman. “Here you go.”

  “About time,” she groused.

  I turned away so I wouldn’t say something about how rude she was. The booth nearest the door was empty, and the table was covered in dirty dishes. I went to get the bin and started filling it.

  The door jangled, and I looked up to find a familiar face coming through the door. When the server from the mayor’s house spotted me, she blanched, glancing at the door as if she was considering making a run for it.

  I gave her a smile and picked up the now-full bin. “If you’ll give me just a minute, I’ll wipe this down and get you menus.”

  I hurried away, hoping she didn’t leave. I’d love to question her about what she saw in that kitchen. When I returned, the woman was sitting down across from a dark-haired man who was around the same age. They were both wearing the white shirts and black trousers of the catering crew.

  “Sorry,” I said, offering another smile. “Apparently, there’s a flu going around, and poor Max was short of help.”

  I handed them menus.

  “You work here?” the woman asked, looking surprised.

  “Just for tonight. What can I get you to drink?”

  By the time I brought two sweet teas to the table, the couple was ready to order. I took their orders and hesitated. The woman’s expression turned wary. “I’m sorry, I just wondered if you were doing okay? Finding that guy was…” I shuddered.

  She chewed her bottom lip. “It was gruesome.”

  “Yes.”

  “You and your friends seemed pretty chill about it, though.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond. Telling her that I found bodies all the time probably wouldn’t go over very well. I settled on, “We date cops.” The truth. Sort of.

  As if that explained everything, she nodded.

  I offered my hand. “I’m Joey.”

  The woman shook it. “Karinne Magness.” She nodded at her dinner companion. “That’s Prince.”

  “Nice to meet you, Prince. I love your music,” I quipped.

  He gave me a flat stare in return. “Whatever.”

  Alrighty then. I nodded toward his clothes. “Looks like you worked the party too?”

  “I did. I was on the dessert table.”

  “My favorite place,” I said, grinning. Talking about food made my stomach rumble. I was really going to enjoy that banana cream pie Max had set aside for us.

  He shrugged. Clearly, the guy had no sense of humor.

  “It’s quite a shock about your boss, huh?”

  Karinne shuddered. Prince frowned at his silverware.

  “Do you know of anybody who might have wanted him dead?”

  Prince snorted. “That list is long. The guy was a jerk.”

  Karinne glared at him. “That’s not fair, P. He was understandably nervous since the client threatened him like that.”

  My spidey senses perked. “Mayor Robb threatened Jonathan Calliente?”

  Karinne looked irritated by my question. “I told that cop this.”

  I fought not to cringe. If she refused to tell me because she’d already told one of the deputies her story, there’d be nothing I could say to get her to open up. I couldn’t exactly say I was a cop. Though, I might be able to throw the PI card at her.

  Fortunately, I didn’t need to go that far.

  “The cop didn’t seem all that interested. But I think it’s important. Jon was a nervous wreck after the argument.” She glanced at her companion. “He was a little short with everybody because of it.”

  “This was before the party?”

  Shaking her head, Karinne clarified. “Just after it started, I guess. That woman got right in John’s face and told him he’d never work in the area again. She said the mayor would see to that.”

  “What woman?”

  “I don’t know her name. The petite blonde. She works for the mayor. You know her. She was with you in the kitchen this afternoon.”

  I blinked. Cecily? “But you said the mayor threatened him.”

  Karinne gave me a sigh of exasperation. “She’s the mayor’s right hand, isn’t she? You don’t think a man like Robb would do his own dirty work, do you? I’ve had experience with these politician types. Believe me, they’re not going to stick their necks out. And they’re used to taking what they want.”

  Karinne was bitter. That was obvious. I wondered what kind of experience she’d had. But I didn’t want to get her off track by asking. Besides, she was right. I didn’t think Robb did his own dirty work if he could help it. In fact, I knew he didn’t. But what if the dirty work was Cecily’s own? “Do you know what it was about?” I asked. “What did he do that made her threaten him?”

  Karinne shook her head. “I have no idea. All I heard was her telling him he’d never get another job
.”

  Prince fidgeted in his seat, drawing my gaze to his guilty face.

  “What?” I asked. “Do you know something?”

  The order pickup bell jangled. “Order, Joey,” Hal called out.

  Prince nudged Karinne’s arm. “Come on, I’m not hungry anymore.”

  Not wanting to chase after them and cause a scene, I watched them walk out of Sonny’s with a sinking feeling in my gut.

  Prince knew something that might throw light on the murder. And I’d just lost my chance at finding out what.

  “Jeezopete!” I said under my breath, heading to the window to pick up my order.

  5

  We finally trudged out of the diner at nine o’clock, carrying two chicken and noodle meals and a whole banana cream pie as promised.

  Max, who didn’t talk much in general, and was about as mushy as a rhinoceros, hugged us each and thanked us several times for the help, her eyes even getting misty.

  I felt good about helping a friend. But exhausted down to my toes.

  “Ethel Squeaks is going to think somebody cut her throat,” Hal said.

  I cringed at the saying. I’d never liked it. “She got a whole plate of fruit before we left. Even she can survive three hours without eating.”

  He opened the door of his big, black Escalade and gave me an assist when my tired body stuck midway climbing inside. “Ugh!” I said. “I feel like I’m fifty years old right now.”

  He tugged a messy strand of my strawberry blonde hair. “Just focus on the pie you’re going to eat when we get home. It will help your old body keep functioning.”

  I grinned. “It might even give me a bounce in my step.”

  Chuckling, he closed the door and headed around to the driver’s side.

  I sagged into the leather beneath me. Nah. Who was I kidding? It would be a miracle if I managed to make it inside the house.

  An hour later, sprawled on my couch with my feet in Hal’s lap, I groaned happily as he rubbed my tired and swollen feet. Caphy, her muzzle still frothy with whipped cream from the tiny slice of pie I’d given her, had her big head resting on my shoulder, her pretty green gaze locked on my face. I told myself she was worried about me since I was a sugar-saturated puddle on the couch, but I was pretty sure she was just hoping I’d give in and offer her another slice of pie.

  Ethel Squeaks was snorfling around in her little tent in the kitchen, no doubt preparing her nest for the night. She’d also enjoyed the pie. Though, in deference to her figure, we’d left the crust off her portion, giving her just filling and whipped cream.

  She might have been squealing unhappily when we’d arrived home, but with her tummy filled and a cozy nest calling, she was as happy as a pig in a tent.

  I groaned as Hal’s thumbs found my arches. “That feels amazing.”

  He rested his head back and closed his eyes. “I have a new respect for people who work in a restaurant.”

  I nodded. “It’s hard work.” I eyed my PI. “I thought you worked in one during college?”

  “I did,” he agreed, fixing his dark green gaze on me. “But I was much younger then.”

  I laughed. He talked like he was forty instead of the strong, healthy thirty-two years he was.

  Then I remembered what I’d learned about Cecily and pulled myself to a sitting position, dislodging the pibl from my shoulder. With a long-suffering sigh, Caphy circled three times and curled into a ball on the floor next to the couch.

  Poor thing. She had to sleep on the floor like a dog rather than on the couch like the human she believed she was.

  “I talked to that server from the party tonight.”

  Hal’s eyes widened. “She was in Sonny’s?”

  I nodded. “Her and another one of the servers. His name is Prince. He’s desserts.”

  “Your favorite.”

  I flashed him a quick grin. “Yes, well, he’s not my favorite. He knows something about the victim he wouldn’t tell me.” I filled my PI in on what I’d learned, Hal’s handsome face growing less weary as I talked.

  “Cecily threatened the victim?”

  “It looks that way.”

  He thought about that for a minute. “We need to talk to her and this Prince guy.”

  I nodded. “Karinne said Cecily threatened the man not too long after the party started. When we were talking about the house, Cecily told Lis and me that she’d been in there earlier. So she’s not trying to hide the fact she was in there.”

  “It would be a pretty gutsy move to kill the man and then drag a bunch of witnesses to the crime scene,” Hal said thoughtfully. “Especially after being overheard threatening the guy.”

  As much as I liked Cecily, I felt the need to play devil’s advocate. “Unless she didn’t know Karinne was eavesdropping. Caterers tend to blend into the scenery. They try to keep a low profile, so they don’t intrude on clients and their company. Karinne could have been in the butler’s pantry when Cecily was threatening him.”

  “True,” Hal agreed. “And it would be gutsy but effective to uncover your own crime with witnesses who could attest to walking in with you and finding the body.”

  “We need to talk to that Prince guy and find out what he knows. I have a feeling he can shine some light on a possible motive for Jonathan Calliente’s murder.”

  I was sitting at the island drinking coffee and compiling a grocery list the next morning when the front door opened, and Lis called out to me. “In the kitchen!” I called back. Caphy jumped to her feet and shot toward the front door. “Incoming!” I warned.

  A beat later, I heard Lis squeal and laugh as she no doubt found herself wrangling an eighty-pound pibl. “Jeeze!” she complained, coming into the kitchen. “That dog’s a menace.”

  Despite her declaration, my friend was sans pitty. “Where’d she go?”

  “I opened the door, and she did a drive-by licking on her way to the front yard.” She showed me the large wet spot on her knee.

  “Coffee?”

  Lis shook her head. “I need to meet a client up the street for a showing in fifteen minutes. I just thought I’d stop in and see how you’re doing.” She gave me a sly look that told me exactly why she was really there.

  “You mean you want to know what’s going on with the murder investigation?”

  She dropped onto the stool next to me. “Well, if you insist on talking about it.”

  I laughed. “The victim is the caterer. All we’ve learned so far is that Cecily might have threatened him earlier in the day, and the dessert guy clearly knows something he’s not letting on.”

  She gave me exaggerated wide eyes. “Not the dessert guy!”

  “I know, right?”

  “Protect him at all costs. Those tiny key lime pie things were to die for.”

  I snorted. “Seriously though, do you remember how Cecily reacted when we found the victim? I’ve been trying to remember, but I was kind of distracted.”

  Lis grimaced. “I was kind of distracted by the dead guy too. And the shrieking.”

  I nodded. “That server’s name is Karinne Magness. She’s the one who told me that Cecily threatened Jonathan Calliente.”

  “Karinne Magness?”

  I nodded, noting the surprise on Lis’s face. “You know her?”

  Instead of answering, she reached over and took my coffee, sipping from it and then grimacing. “How much sugar did you put in this?”

  I reclaimed my mug. “The perfect amount for me. Get your own.”

  She did as I suggested, sliding a dark roast pod into the single-serving brewer. “I met Karinne a couple of months ago. She and her husband…Mark, I think…looked at a couple of houses in the new developments.”

  Deer Hollow had somehow been highlighted as one of the best places to live and raise a family a couple of years earlier. Ever since that article, we’d been the unwilling victims of an influx of people from Indianapolis and surrounding cities whose crime and cost of living made them less desirable places to live. One o
f the consequences of that influx had been two new subdivisions. The other was too much traffic and an overburdening of our simple, outdated resources.

  But one person’s bane was another’s boon. Deer Hollow Realty was definitely benefiting from all those new homes.

  “Did they buy?” I asked.

  Lis leaned against the counter with her black coffee, sipping carefully. “No. I think they decided to move to the outskirts of Indy. If I remember right, her mom lived there, and she wanted to stay close.”

  I could certainly understand that. “What was she like?”

  Lis frowned. “The mom?”

  “No.” I laughed. “Karinne. I can’t decide what I think of her. She seems okay, but there’s just something…”

  “Off about her?” Lis finished for me, nodding. “I agree. I also got the impression the couple was having issues. I think, ultimately, that was what made them decide to stay close to family.”

  “Was she working at the catering company then?”

  “I don’t think she was working. The job might be something new.”

  “Like something a woman getting a divorce would do?”

  “Yep.” Lis glanced at her watch. “Ah! I need to go. Keep me updated on things, will you? I feel like I have a stake in this, given that I was there when the victim was discovered.” She arched an eyebrow. “You understand that feeling, right?”

  Since I’d lost count of the number of bodies I’d nearly stumbled over, I certainly did.

  My phone rang as Lis left. It was Hal. “Hey,” I said, smiling in spite of myself.

  “Hey, honey. How’d you sleep?”

  “I would have slept great if I wasn’t clinging to the edge of the bed without any covers.”

  “Caphy?”

  “And her evil feline sidekick. I swear LaLee takes up more room than the eighty-pound dog.”

  His chuckle made my stomach do a happy dance. “Do you feel like visiting Cecily this morning? I want to catch her at home. Tomorrow, she’ll be back in the office, and it’ll be harder to get her alone.”