Love from a to Z

by S. K. Ali

  Zayneb: THE SCARF WAS SUPER SILKY AND FALLING OFF. YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT FABRIC FOR A GIRL’S HEAD YET.

  • • •

  Who knew that four years ago I’d see a girl at the airport, and she’d end up being the part of me that had been missing for so long.

  There was a reason love was a round-sounding word.

  It completed you and then some, like treading a circular path, the way it was immemorial. Whole.

  But also . . . infinite.

  It went on and on as long as you went on and on, to meet it, keep it, treasure it.

  And I would.

  ZAYNEB

  Before I placed flowers by the grave of the girl buried alive, the girl who’d started this whole journey that led me to my heart, I said two simple prayers.

  First for her, for her soul to be freer than it had ever been on earth, and then for me. Please, God, don’t let the hatred through which others see the world distort my own sense of justice.

  I smoothed the grave before laying the flowers down.

  It felt like I’d laid down my last guard against vulnerability.

  I was okay seeing things through my own eyes. Not defensively, the way people who hate saw me. I was done with that.

  I needed to be done with that now that I was starting law school in the fall.

  I would be studying the only thing I wanted to know the most about: human rights.

  For everyone.

  Because that was the only way the world made sense. When the arc of care went far and wide.

  So wide it journeyed and battled to exclude none.

  Beside me, Adam straightened up after saying his own duas, and I glanced at his eyes, glittery with tears.

  There was no one around, just us two in this desolate location, so I sank into him, and he stretched his arms to engulf me, his kisses covering my own tears.

  Oh, I forgot to record my marvel today. It’s the greatest one of all.

  You probably guessed it.

  MARVEL: LOVE

  AUTHOR’S NOTE

  On MS, Conversion, and Islamophobia

  Adam’s multiple sclerosis experiences were written with the help of a family member who was diagnosed with relapsing-remitting MS early on in his life. With support, especially from his wife of more than twenty years, and good health care, he lives a life of resilience with a positive outlook rooted in his strong Muslim faith.

  However, it must be noted that MS experiences vary and the circumstances described in Love from A to Z do not typify nor communicate the full extent of people’s experiences living with the illness.

  The depictions of Adam; his father, David; and Zayneb’s mother, Alisha, as being converts to Islam were also guided by family members of West Indian and white backgrounds, including my husband, who converted to the faith at the age of nine (under the guidance of his convert mother). A member of my Muslim community, the Canadian journalist Steven Zhou, read the manuscript to ensure accuracy regarding the representation of converts of Chinese backgrounds (as Adam and David are).

  The Islamophobia described in this book is based on true incidents. Zayneb’s scenes on the flight, at the swimming pool, and online were written calling upon memories of painful personal experiences—ones that will resonate with many.

  As an educator for more than twenty years, I wish I could exempt Zayneb’s classroom experiences from this litany of hateful incidents, but in bearing witness to truth, I really cannot. Three years ago, a high school teacher at a school board just outside Toronto was fired after a group of students discovered the Islamophobic content he’d been posting online. The bravery and courage of these students to go to the school board, to speak truth to power, inspired parts of my book. I wish I’d been as dauntless as a teen when I’d sat in classrooms, wincing from the Islamophobia I heard again and again.

  While writing Love from A to Z, I often wondered if all this would seem too incredulous to some readers—but then I knew for certain that so many other readers would nod their heads in recognition. I write for all of you—those who know what it feels like and those who don’t, but want to.

  Onward, readers, into a better world born from empathy, lit by the sparks of truth, courage, and love.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  When I was young, it was a cool thing to call into radio stations and request the DJ to play a song dedicated to someone special in our lives. Love from A to Z includes music, so to acknowledge those who’ve helped bring this book to life, I hereby ask the DJ to dedicate these ten songs in the book to these ten groups of amazing people.

  Love from A to Z Top Ten Countdown

  10. “I Will Survive”

  Dedicated to the Canada Council for the Arts and Ontario Arts Council for giving me grants so I could take a leave from work and still pay my bills and survive while finishing this book.

  9. “Wild World”

  Dedicated to the awesome people I’ve met in the YA writing world, especially the following authors who gave me the gift of their hand to hold, mentorship, and check-ins: Kate Hart, Emery Lord, Akemi Dawn Bowman, Rachel Hartman, Kiersten White, Jael Richardson, Cherie Dimaline, Sandhya Menon, Karen M. McManus, E. K. Johnston, and S. F. Henson.

  8. “Leaves from the Vine (Little Soldier Boy)”

  Dedicated to my Muslim squad of writers, we who come from the same vine, whose woven web of support I cherish so very much. Time to admit that during the hard periods of writing this book, I’d sometimes re-read the wonderful things you said about Saints and Misfits in order to believe that I could actually write. There are so many of you, but I want to especially mention these friends who made my debut year so special with their expressions of love: thank you, Hanna Alkaf, Rukhsana Khan, Shannon Chakraborty, Ardo Omer, Nafiza Azad, Jamilah Thompkins-Bigelow, Fartumo Kusow, Asmaa Hussein, Hajera Khaja, London Shah, Nadine Courtney Jolie, Fatin Marini, Melati Lum, Umm Juwayriyah, Sabina Khan, G. Willow Wilson, Sabaa Tahir, Hind Makki, Maleeha Siddiqui, Na’ima B. Robert, Nevien Shaabneh, Hafsah Faizal, Saadia Faruqi, Karuna Riazi, and Alexis York Lumbard.

  7. “Aap Jaisa Koi”

  Dedicated to two new friends who walked into my life recently and who became so very dear to me: Aisha Saeed and Safiyyah Kathimi. Aisha, your kind texts and our phone chats always provided the bolts of clarity I needed to hear, and Safiyyah, our train of funny e-mails, messages, and late-night calls kept me going while I wrote Love from A to Z. You’re both cherished.

  6. “Seasons in the Sun”

  Dedicated to old friends who’ve been with me through the winters and summers of life over the years, even when I’ve gone silent for long periods as I hid in the writing cave. Thank you for consistently cheering me on through this lifelong journey of mine with true friendship, Shaiza, Zakiya, Rania, Amie, Farzana, and Nhu. Thank you, Naseem, for re-entering my life—growing up as kids, you and I shared our mutual love of books, and now we get to share our mutual love of writing.

  5. “I Like It”

  Dedicated to those who brought this book to actual life, or supported my author career from the very beginning of my experience working with Simon & Schuster. Mekisha Telfer, Brian Luster, Jenica Nasworthy, Alexa Pastor, Lucy Ruth Cummins, Lisa Moraleda, Justin Chanda, the entire S&S library team, and, up here in Canada, Rita Silva, Michelle Skelsey, and Felicia Quon: I like it that you are all amazing!

  4. “Have You Ever Seen the Rain”

  Dedicated to my literary agent, John Cusick, and my editor, Zareen Jaffery, because both of you get my words so very much—and so instantly. You understand that I write the rain and the sunny days into my stories. I am beyond grateful that I get to work with you both. John, you are the same incredibly supportive agent I signed with three years ago, and, Zareen, if someone had told me to dream up my perfect editor when I was starting out as a writer, you would have been it—and my dream came true, alhamdulillah.

  3. “Let It Go”

  Dedicated to my writing soul-sisters, Uzma Jalaluddin and Ausma Zeh
anat Khan. I love that I can let go of all my writer vulnerabilities and just be free with you both. I love that we talk about everything and anything, writing or not. Thanks, Uzma, for our daily chats, for reading just about everything I write, for being brilliant and compassionate you. Thanks, Ausma, for being the star of a recurring thought of mine, WWAD: What would Ausma do?, and then answering this question for me with big-sister love and wisdom, all the way from the mountains of Colorado.

  2. “Can You Feel the Love Tonight”

  Dedicated to my army of a family, who shows up for me always, ready to take up the entire front row if need be, with phones out to capture the moment, with encouraging smiles and claps at the ready. I feel your love—all of your love so very much. Thank you, Faisal, Shakil, Anwaar, Johanne, Sakeina, Sahar, Amanda, Sana, Muhammad, Dawood, Bushra, Alain, Khalil, Khalid, Zenyah, Chiku, Saira, Aasiyah, and Maleeha.

  1. “Stand by Me”

  Dedicated to my parents, Ahmed and Zuhra (the kindest people on earth); my children, Hamza, Bilqis, and Jochua (a trio who inspires me); my sister, Hajara (a dynamo in all ways); and my husband, Jez (my rock). You all embody virtues I aspire to, and I want to stand by and with you always. Thanks for shaping this book and my life.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  S. K. ALI is the author of the 2018 Morris Award finalist Saints and Misfits. Her debut novel won critical acclaim for its portrayal of an unapologetic Muslim American teen’s life. She lives with her family and a very vocal cat named Yeti, with whom she must engage in vigorous debate in order to access her laptop, since he cherishes it as another of his many beds. You can find her online at skalibooks.com or follow her on Twitter at @sajidahwrites.

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  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Text copyright © 2019 by Sajidah Kutty

  Jacket photographs copyright © 2019 by Meredith Jenks

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  Jacket design by Lucy Ruth Cummins

  Interior design by Hilary Zarycky

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Ali, S. K., author.

  Title: Love from A to Z / S.K. Ali.

  Description: First edition. | New York : Salaam Reads, [2019] | Summary: Eighteen-year-old Muslims Adam and Zayneb meet in Doha, Qatar, during spring break and fall in love as both struggle to find a way to live their own truths.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2018056836 (print) | LCCN 2018060096 (eBook) | ISBN 9781534442726 (hardback) | ISBN 9781534442740 (eBook)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Muslims—Fiction. | Arabs—Fiction. | Prejudices—Fiction. | High schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | Multiple sclerosis—Fiction. | Dawhah (Qatar)—Fiction. | Qatar—Fiction.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.1.A436 (eBook) | LCC PZ7.1.A436 Lov 2019 (print) | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018056836