by KM Lowe
“Hey, sleepyhead,” says Jasper.
“Hey.” I clear my throat and walk slowly into the room.
“I didn’t want to wake you, so Jasper showed me this room to keep me amused while you were sleeping.” Karina beams at me.
“Thanks for that, Jasper. Now I’ll never get her out of here.” We all chuckle.
I casually get down on the floor beside Karina and rest on my elbow. I lift the front of her book up and read, “Emma by Jane Austen.” I roll my eyes and place it back down.
“Now Prince Charming has risen from the dead, I’ll leave you two alone. I’ve got some business to take care of in the office. You know where to find me if you need anything.”
“Thank you for keeping me company, Jasper.”
“Anytime, sweetheart.”
I watch Jasper leave the room and I feel like I’ve entered a different world. Am I still dreaming?
“You look a little lost, Kev,” says Karina.
“I’m good. I got a fright when I woke up to an empty bed. But seeing you in here, laughing, chatting away, it makes it worth the fright I got.”
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I thought you needed the rest. I like Jasper. He’s so easy to talk to. I was at a loose end. Stracey has gone out to get some shopping, and you were sleeping. I don’t mind being around Jasper.”
“Good. I’m glad. Jasper’s a good guy. One of the best, in fact.”
“I see that. So, what do you want to do today?”
“Erm…” I bite my lip, desperately trying to think of something we can do. “What do you fancy doing? Anything you like.”
“Is the village far from here?” she asks.
“No. It’s a small village, but Markus told me there’s a beautiful picnic area just outside of the village. You up for it?”
I watch her contemplating my question. A smile spreads on her face. “Sure. It sounds like fun.”
“Will you be okay while I take a shower?”
“Of course. I’ll be in the kitchen when you come back.”
I pause before I stand up. Our faces are close together, and I lift my hand and move a strand of hair out of her face. “I can’t believe the difference in you since we’ve been here. I’m so proud of you, Karina.”
“It’s hard to explain how I feel here, Kev. I’m comfortable. I feel safe. I like you, Stracey, and Jasper. I know no one and nothing can touch me. I feel content here. Crazy, since none of it’s familiar.”
“If you want to stay here tomorrow, I can ask Jasper. We don’t need to go back to the camp.”
I would stay here indefinitely if it meant the woman I love is happy. I never grew up in a pack like Carlos’s, so it won’t bother me to walk away from it. We can always visit with Jasper.
“We can’t. Wolves are meant to be part of a pack. When I was on my own in wolf form, I had never felt as lonely in my life.”
“You will never be lonely again. We have each other. We have Jasper and Stracey, Markus and Lisa. We’ll always be wolves. That will never change whether we’re here or there.”
She places the book down on the floor and wraps her arms around herself. I reach forward and take her hands. I don’t want her to be nervous with me again. I want her to be able to talk to me freely.
“What do you want to do, babe?”
She shrugs her shoulders. “Can we just have a good day together? I’ll answer any questions you have tonight. I promise.”
“Deal.” I lean forward and place a kiss on her head. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
I jump up from the floor and leave the room. I look over my shoulder when I get to the hall and Karina has the book back in her hands. I’m happy she’s content here. It’s good to see this side of her. I don’t think I could go back to seeing her so tense and unhappy at the camp.
I stop outside Jasper’s office and chap before I can lose my bottle.
Jasper shouts, “Come in.”
I peek my head around the door. “Are you busy?”
“No. Come in.” He points to the seat in front of his desk. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head and sit back in the seat. “I don’t know how to ask this, and I don’t even know if it’s allowed…”
“Just ask me. It can’t be anything I haven’t come across before. Shoot.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Okay. Karina is doing really well here.”
“I’ve noticed. It was good to spend some time with her this morning.”
“If we were still in the camp, she would still be in that cabin. I…” I can’t bear to think of her locking herself away again.
“Have you asked her what she wants, Kev?” Jasper interrupts me.
I nod. “Yeah. She said she wants to have a day with me today, and she’ll answer any questions I have tonight.”
“What did you ask her?”
“What are the rules about us leaving the pack?”
Jasper sits forward and clasps his hands in front of him over some papers.
“As far as I’m concerned, there are no rules. Not from us. The council may have something to say. They may want to keep you in the pack. The fact you have family within the pack means you have a connection. Why? Where are you going with this, buddy?”
“If Karina wanted to stay here for a while, would it be allowed?”
“Would it be allowed by me and Carlos? Of course it would. We want you to be happy, and after seeing Karina in the camp then seeing her here, it’s clear there’s a significant difference. However, let me put something to you.”
I nod.
“Lisa and Markus are part timers within the pack. Why don’t you guys try that? Spend the week here and the weekend there for a little while.”
“Lisa and Markus are only part time until they finish university. I know they’ll join the pack fulltime. Lisa has so many ideas for that new health centre that’s getting built. You won’t get her away from there when she has nothing else to do.”
“Maybe, in time, Karina will want to be a part of the pack full time as well. It’s only understandable that she’s comfortable here. But what do you want to do?”
“I’ll do anything that will keep her the happy, carefree woman in my life. I know this might sound crazy, because we haven’t mated, or remotely come close to it, but I love her.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy at all. I understand what you mean. I never slept with Carmen, but I knew she was my mate. My wolf knew she was mine. When you find the one, nothing and no one will tear you away.”
“What’s happening with the council?” I sit back in my chair.
I had to ask about the council, because with them looming over us, it makes me nervous. I don’t want to be nervous around Karina.
“It’s all quiet at the moment. They haven’t challenged Carlos since he told them to leave his pack. It has to be the calm before the storm, because they won’t leave it at that.”
“I don’t want to make things worse if Karina and I end up staying here.”
“Don’t let that deter you. You do what’s best for your family. We’ll deal with the council. We paid our debt to them. Now we just need to get them off Darcy’s back, because it seems like they’re going to use her as another example.”
“And we all know how that ends up.” I stand up and tap the desk. “I need to get a shower. Karina is willing to leave your land today, so I’m taking her for a picnic.”
“I know the very place…”
I cut Jasper off. “I know. Markus told me about the place at the edge of the village, down by the burn.”
“That’s the one. The burn runs down from the hills, but if you walk further in, there’s an open river that you can walk around. Take Markus’s car. I’ll get the keys out of the safe.”
“Thanks. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“No thanks needed, buddy. Get going. We’ll talk about this again in the morning.”
I leave Jasper’s office feeling lighter. I know Karin
a might want to go back to camp, but at least now I know we have options. I’m not offering her something that can’t happen. I’d hate to drag her back to somewhere she didn’t want to be. I’ve been there, and it just makes you miserable.
She’ll never be miserable again. Not on my watch.
***
I’ve followed Jasper’s directions directly. I take a left into a car park. There’s only one car parked up, and now us. I climb out of the car and come around to help Karina, but she’s already getting out to join me.
I shake my head playfully at her. She knows exactly why I’m shaking my head, because we’ve had this conversation on many occasions. I like to open doors for her. I like to do things for her. It makes me happy. “Sorry. I can’t get used to being treated like a princess.”
“You are a princess. My princess.”
I move to the boot and grab the basket Stracey packed for us, along with a large tartan blanket. Apparently, according to Stracey, you can’t have a picnic in Scotland without a plaid blanket. I wasn’t going to argue that any blanket would suffice, because I adore that woman after everything she did for us in Canada.
“Ready?” I hold my hand out for her, and she links our fingers together. I smile at the contact, because we’ve made huge progress in two days.
“It’s beautiful out here.”
It’s so calm. I stop walking and say, “If you listen hard enough, you can hear the water running down into the burn. It’s proper spring water out here.”
“Burn? What’s that?”
“A burn, in Scotland, is a small stream. Usually all natural, and they span from larger rivers. Jasper was saying that this burn opens up into a larger river. We can walk down to it if you like?”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
We carry on walking until we come to a dip in the rocks. “Hold on. I’ll put this down over there and come back to help you down.”
I jump down easily enough, and I know Karina would be able to as well, but she does as I ask. I place the blanket and basket down on the ground and go back to her. I hold my arms up for her, and she places her hands on my arms and looks down. That was the worst thing she could have done, because she loses her balance, and we fall backwards onto the ground. Thankfully, she falls on top of me, and the ground we land on is cushioned with grass.
“You okay?” I wrap my arms around her waist.
“I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“Sshh! I’m fine. Are you?”
She nods. Her hand lifts slowly and lands on my cheek. Her thumb caresses my lips and I lie as still as possible. I don’t really want to move. I’m quite happy to have her in my arms like this.
“I’m good. Good thing it hasn’t been raining or you’d be soaked.”
I smile. “And that would all be worth having this moment with you. Holding you.”
“I guess it would.” Her head lowers slightly closer to mine. I think she’s going to kiss me, but she stops. “Is it terrible that I want to kiss you?”
“Nope. I’d say it was normal. But what your wolf needs to understand is that you’ve been through a lot. You need time to catch up.”
The chirping birds, running water, and rustling trees, make this moment magical. Every time I hear one of those things in the future, this moment will replay in my head.
“I think I’m catching up. I’m just sorry it’s taken me so long.” She leans into my mouth and places her lips over mine. Her small frame presses against my chest. Her warm hand cups the side of my face.
I run my hands up her sides until I reach her face. I pull back for a moment and see the hooded desire in her eyes. What has made this change in her?
“Maybe we should get this picnic started,” I whisper, breathlessly.
She pushes herself off me and sits up on her heels. Her face falls. She stands up quickly and wipes down her legs. She steps over me, making me jump to my feet. I pull her hand back, turning her to face me.
“What’s wrong, babe? Talk to me. I told you we don’t need to do that. You don’t need to push yourself to make me feel better.”
She pulls her hand out of mine and steps backwards. “Has it ever crossed your mind that I need to do that to get out of this black hole? Has it ever crossed your mind that I might actually want to be with you?” she yells and turns away.
“Wow. Rewind here. Where is this coming from?”
“I get it, Kevin. I’m damaged goods. Instead of acting the saint, saying we don’t need to rush, just admit you don’t see me in that way. You don’t need to be with me because your wolf has claimed me.”
“Karina!”
I can’t believe I’ve been trying to help her move on, but all I’ve done is push her further away.
She turns to face me and starts to walk past. I grab her arm and bring her to my chest. My hands take her cheeks and I make her look into my eyes. She’s not walking away from this, and I’m not backing down either.
“Is that what you really think? That I don’t want to touch you?”
She tries to nod, but her eyes close and a single tear slides down her cheeks. She doesn’t need to say a word. Her actions are speaking louder than any words could.
“You can’t be further from the truth.” I take her hand in mine and place it over my heart. “Feel that. My heart beats for you.” I move her hand down to my hardened dick. I’m done pretending. “Feel that. That’s all for you.” I let her hand go and place my hands back on her cheeks. “I love you! I have never once looked at you or seen a part of you that’s damaged. What’s it going to take for you to see that? I only want to love and protect you, and by keeping my distance, letting you take charge of contact, I thought I was doing just that. I’m sorry you think otherwise.”
This time, for the first time ever, I bend to her level and place my mouth over hers. Her soft lips open and my tongue probes her mouth, tasting, feeling all she has to give me. Her hands tighten on my shirt, and I let my instinct take over, lifting her off her feet. Her legs wrap around my waist and I manoeuvre us down onto the blanket. I hover over her, never breaking away from her. She pulls my t-shirt up and over my head. Our eyes meet. Her eyes sparkle, showing me how alive she can be. The dullness is gone.
“I love you, Karina. Nothing and no one will ever change that.”
“I love you too,” she whispers.
“I’m lost right now, because I know what I want to do, but I don’t want you to think that we have to do this. I told you. I can wait.”
“Stop talking, Kev. I need to try this.”
“Here. Right now. I need to hear you say it, Karina, because I don’t want to hurt you.” I shake my head, feeling doubt creep inside of me that she isn’t ready for this. Maybe I’m not ready for this.
“Kevin.” I look her straight in the eyes. “I want you to consume me. I want you to be the only one I feel inside of me. I don’t want to remember what happened. I want you to be my first official time. Make love to me.”
“You’ll tell me if you want to stop at any time?”
She nods once. I lower my mouth to hers because I can’t resist the urge anymore. I have her permission and I’ll keep my senses about me to make sure I’m aware if she changes her mind.
I run my hand under her t-shirt, feeling her soft, silky skin. I sit back on my heels and sit her up to remove her clothes. I need to feel her skin on mine.
I remove her top, unhook her bra, and place my mouth over hers to lower her back to the blanket. I wrap my arms around her back, feeling her against me, pulling me closer. I feel like I can’t breathe.
“You okay?” I ask hoarsely.
“Yes.”
I loosen the button from her trousers and slowly slip them down her legs, leaving her lying in front of me in pink lace pants. She’s beautiful. I place kisses up her thighs, across her stomach, taking her hardened nipple into my mouth. Her back arches from the ground, pushing herself more into my mouth. I slip my hand into her pants, gauging her reaction. When she doesn’t f
linch or shy away, I run my finger through her soaking wet centre. She’s turned on for me, and that makes me explore more. I plunge one finger inside her, feeling her walls clench around me.
“Oh God, Kevin.”
“Feel good?” She nods. “Tell me, honey.”
“Yes. Don’t stop.” I sit up and remove her pants. Her naked body makes my dick strain. Fuck me. I’m going to end up coming before I even enter her at this rate.
I bend and place a kiss on her stomach, trailing soft kisses over her pubic bone, down to her thigh. I blow cold air over her clit, making her moan out in pleasure.
“Tell me if you want me to stop, babe.”
“No. Don’t you dare stop.”
I smirk at her words.
As hard as it would be to stop, I would if she wanted me to. I lower my mouth to her clit, licking, sucking, and biting her bundle of nerves. Her body writhes underneath me. I plunge two fingers inside her, feeling her body convulse when I hit her sweet spot. She cries out in pleasure, clenching her legs around my head. When she relaxes, I kiss back up her stomach until I reach her mouth. I plunge my tongue in her mouth hungrily. I want her to taste herself on my lips, because to me, it’s the sweetest honey.
I kiss down her neck and whisper, “We can stop here if you want.”
“We’re not stopping now. Take me, Kevin. I need this.”
I look for any doubt in her eyes, but when I see none, I move to the side of her, loosen my joggers, and slide them and my boxers down my legs, allowing my dick to spring free. I swear if it could sigh with relief, it would.
Her eyes roam down my body, landing on my very excited member. I reach over and lift her hand, tangling our fingers together.
“I love you, Karina.”
“I love you too.”
I lean over her, pushing off the blanket, hovering over her. I run my hardened dick through her wet folds. She’s more than ready to take me, but I’m terrified of hurting her.
“Do it,” she says, clearly sensing my turmoil.
I plunge my tongue in her mouth, taking her mind off me entering her. When I feel like she’s relaxed enough, I nudge her entrance, entering her inch by inch until I’m fully inside of her. I can’t move. I need to compose myself before this is over quickly.
