A Staten Island Love Letter 5

by Jahquel J

  “I hear you. Call me when you get home,” she got up and hugged me. We hugged and I was off to head to my house.

  When I arrived at my house, Staten was waiting in the driveway. I pulled behind him and got out of the car. When he saw me, he got out of the car and came over to hug me. We hugged for a minute before we pulled apart and went into the house. I put my purse on the foyer table and went to the fridge to pour me some water. I had drank so much soda at Mariah’s house, I knew I needed some water to cut the sugar down.

  “I’ve missed you,” he was the first to speak.

  “I missed you too.”

  “You don’t act like it,” he countered.

  “How do you want me to act?”

  “Like you’ve missed me.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I can say the same thing. For someone who claims they missed me, hasn’t called or came by to see me.”

  He leaned onto the wall and stared at me. “I been wrapped up in some shit and couldn’t get away. I’m here now, what’s up?”

  I walked over to him and stared up at him. “Nothing, except air and opportunity,” I cocked my head to the side.

  He invaded the small space between the both of us and looked at me through narrowed eyes. I watched as he bent down and placed small, yet wet kisses on my collar bone. The action alone sent chills through my soul, as I held onto his arm to keep myself from melting right there on the kitchen floor. A small moan escaped my lips as his lips kissed up and down my neck, leaving wet marks.

  “Staten, you’re not playing fair,” I moaned out, as he held onto my waist and backed me up against the counter.

  “How so?” he continued to suck on my neck as he pulled my shirt up over my head. That was the only time he took a break from the kisses. I stood in front of him with my bra and a pair of jeans on.

  “You know how much I’ve missed you and you’re using your lips to make me give in to you,” I continued.

  “Your body is giving in to my command, don’t blame me,” he lifted me up on the counter and tossed my sneakers off and slid my pants off my bottom. When I felt his hands on my lace panties, I knew there would be a puddle if he chose to lift me up from this counter. It was something about Staten that drove me crazy and made me want to give him my all. Staten Davis had that hold over me and I wasn’t ashamed to say it or scream it to the world.

  “I want to feel you inside of me. I missed your dick so much,” I moaned out as his thumb massaged my kitty. I felt like my shit was hot and purring that’s how turned on I was. All he had to do is blow on my pussy and I’d take a gun and shoot whoever he wanted me to shoot.

  “Damn, you begging for the dick now? I gotta stay away more often,” he smirked.

  “Noooo, I don’t want to be apart from you anymore,” I wrapped my legs around his waist and hoisted myself up on him. I reached down and directed his dick inside of me and my eyes bulged at him pushing himself further and further inside of me.

  Staten laid me down onto the counter and continued to push himself inside of me. At one point, I didn’t think he would run out of dick to give. I leaned my head back as he pulled out and shoved himself inside of me quickly. I screamed out in pleasure as I scratched his chest. His veins were bulging on that beautiful piece of machinery he liked to refer to as a dick. I could feel his shit pulsating inside of me. Staten lifted one of my legs and continued to assault my cat like he had not one care in the world. I screamed, grabbed the counter and even knocked down the fruit basket. If my neighbors were home, I’m sure they thought I was in here about to be murdered. In fact, I was, he was murdering the hell out of this pussy, and I enjoyed him doing so. He pushed both my legs to the side and slid inside and then out before taking it out and tapping it right on my pussy. He did it a few times and I felt like I was about to explode. Staten wasn’t doing small taps; he had enough dick to hold in his hand and slap right onto my pussy. The smirk he kept giving me turned me on just as much as slapping his shit right onto my pussy did.

  “Put it inside of me, Staten!” I screamed out.

  “Do it for me,” he put his hands behind his head and stood there. In one swift movement, I lifted myself up, grabbed hold of his dick and inserted it inside of me.

  “Fuck me, please, I’m tired of begging.”

  “That’s all you had to say,” he leaned over the counter and gave me the business. I came six times, and he hadn’t come even once. The way he flipped me over and did me on that counter told me he hadn’t had sex in a while. This was the act of someone who was not only frustrated, but not needed it more than anything. When he finally did come, he carried me into my room where we continued what we had started in the kitchen. I didn’t care, long as I had him under my roof. I missed the time we used to spend, so I was going to make up for lost time.

  8

  Liberty

  It had been a month since I had been in this rehab. Even though it wasn’t nearly as expensive as the one that Staten paid for, I liked this one better. After the month, I was able to go out for day passes, which I loved. Everything was hard as hell the first month because I literally had to detox my whole body again. Chance was excited that I was getting better again. I hated having to explain to him that mommy was sick again. I cried for three hours after our conversation because I let him down. After talking with Ty, I found my why and it was Chance. He already had to live with the fact that he didn’t see me often, but then I was also addicted to drugs. Chance didn’t ask to be here, and he didn’t ask to have a fuck up as a mother. He was my reason. I was also tired of disappointing my family. My mother called me two weeks into being here, and she told me I needed to get myself together. I knew it was true but hearing her tell me that she was disappointed in me and that I needed to change hit hard for me.

  Ty had been my rock through this entire thing. He came up on visitation days and on my day passes, he took me out and we had so much fun. We ate at a nice restaurant, or we would just ride the Staten Island Ferry and talk. It came so easy when it came to Ty. He would ask me how I was doing, then he would leave it alone. He didn’t hound me to continue to talk about it like Staten did. I knew Staten cared, but he made me feel like I was with a sober coach and that’s not what I needed. I had to be the one who wanted to change. He couldn’t be the reason I changed, or else it would never work. Sooner than later, I would sit down and chat with Staten. We were good before my truth was revealed. Life and other things became too much for our relationship and that was alright. It was fine for people to grow apart. Still, I missed the friend in him and wanted that back more than anything.

  “You know you make me happy, right?” Ty told me. We were sitting outside the rehab at the tables. I was coloring in an adult that Ty had gifted me. I was nearly done with the book because it was all I did in my spare time.

  “I know, you’ve told me,” I looked up at him briefly, before looking back down at my coloring book. He made me happy too.

  “Nah, I don’t think you know how much you mean to me.”

  “Why you saying all of this?” I closed my book and paid closer attention to him. Where was all of this coming from?

  “I’m saying. I want you to know how much you mean to me, Liberty. No other woman has made me feel the way you do. I just want to protect the shit out of you,” he sighed and rubbed the side of my face.

  “You mean a lot to me too. I love how you accept me and don’t pass judgement on me. Even when you don’t have to, you’re up here to visit me on visitation days.”

  I took a sip of my soda and smiled when he looked at me. “I want you to marry me.”

  I choked on my soda and looked at him through wide eyes, as I continued to choke. “M… marry you?”

  “Yeah, I’m dead ass serious. What’s stopping us from taking that step? I want to share everything I have with you. I’m looking for a wife, and I told you that from day one.”

  “You have, but wife… that’s a big step. I’m not wifey material, and I don’t think I ever will be.”
/>
  “Being yourself is all that I need, Liberty. I don’t need a perfect wife, I just need a real one, and you’re real. You’ve been through shit like me and you understand me.”

  “Um… uh… shit, you caught me off guard,” I giggled because for once in my life, I was at a loss for words.

  “That’s new,” he joked and I hit him. “I didn’t plan this when I got up this morning. This shit just feels right, so who says you need years under your belt to decide if someone is right to propose to? I know this is right when I see your face.”

  My hands shook as he grabbed them and placed a kiss on top of them. “You’re fucking crazy!” I laughed.

  “Crazy for your ass,” he replied. “Will you do me the honors and become my wife?” he asked once more and the impulsive side of me told me to jump at this. What did I have to lose?

  “Yes, I’ll be your wife,” I giggled and hugged him. We kissed and hugged as I stared at my future husband.

  I made this decision on a clear head, not one that was clouded by drugs. “You just made me happy as shit today. I want you to meet my family and all that shit when you get out of here.”

  “I guess you need to meet mine too,” I chuckled, thinking about how crazy it would sound when I told Freedom that I was getting married.

  “And, when you get out, I want you to move into my condo with me. I want to make this real, ma. You hear me?”

  “I hear you, babe. I’ll move in, but I need to keep my place because it’s close to my job,” It was a miracle that I still had a damn job.

  “Nah, quit that shit. You’re going to be my wife and I want to spoil you.”

  All of that sounded good, but I hadn’t told him about Chance. “I have a son. He has down syndrome,” I revealed. Nothing changed, his face remained the same.

  “So, what you saying is I’ll have a step-son?”

  I nodded my head.

  “Ma, you could tell me that you have a sheep with three heads and I’ll still love the shit out of you. I want to meet him.”

  “You will. Soon,” I promised.

  We hugged and I caressed his face. Ty made me happy. I loved being around him, and when I wasn’t around him, I couldn’t wait until the next time we could be together. It didn’t matter that we had only been talking for a short while, the chemistry that we had was like no other. I had done much crazier shit than marrying someone I hadn’t been with for long, so I was screaming yolo the entire time. My fear was how Freedom was going to react. I was tired of her thinking that she was my boss, because she wasn’t. I knew I had made stupid decisions in the past, but I was old enough to dictate what went on in my own life. Free would do everything in her power to try and end things between me and Ty. The reason I kept him quiet was because my fear on how my family would react. They felt like I should have been trying to get with Staten and that wasn’t what my heart wanted. I loved Staten, still, I knew that it wouldn’t work out with us. He was scared. When I said scared, I knew he wasn’t scared to love me, but he was scared to do anything with me. He worried about my sobriety more than I did.

  We would also argue and rather than endure that again, it was best that he lived his life and I lived mine. In the future, if it was meant to be, we would come together and be friends again. Anything outside of being friends would never last. I was too strong willed for Staten, and he liked girls that allowed him to pick and choose how he wanted things to be. At first, he acted like he was alright with it, then as time went on, he realized that it wasn’t what he was used to, and he couldn’t handle me. Time would only tell if Ty could handle my smart-ass mouth. So far, he seemed to be fine with it. I refused to change for a nigga. I understood submitting for a man, but I wasn’t about to be out here being a fool for a man. I had done that once when I was younger and I refused to do it as an grown ass woman.

  “What’s on your mind?” I asked Ty. He was in his phone, but I remained on his lap. If it was one thing I could change, it was the fact that he always had that damn phone glued to his hands.

  “I need to find you a ring. Can’t have my fiancée walking around with a bare finger,” he kissed my hand and looked me in the eyes.

  “Do you think you’ll always have your phone glued to your hands? I mean, once we’re married and stuff?” I wondered.

  I loved a man that worked and earned his money. Ty had many nice things and I could tell it was because he worked hard for it. Still, I didn’t want to be a wife that got whatever she wanted, but the one thing I wanted was my husband and I couldn’t have him.

  He put his phone down and looked at me. “I’m not going to lie and say that I won’t be working, but I will promise to be better as your husband and make time for you.”

  “Only if you promise,” I batted my eyelashes.

  “I promise. I want to give you the world and that’s going to take money. I’m not going to sit here and sell you a dream. I may miss some things because I have to travel, but once you start having our babies, I’ll stop traveling as much to be there for you.

  “Babies?” I choked out.

  I would have been a fool to think he didn’t want children, still, I wasn’t thinking about babies anytime soon. I didn’t even want any more children. Having Chance alone was traumatic enough for me not to ever have any more children. Ty looked at me with so much love in his eyes and I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that I didn’t want any more kids. It was something I would have to tell him. It didn’t have to be right now.

  “Hell yeah. I want three kids, all boys.”

  “You know you can’t pick the gender, right?”

  “Ma, I got enough money to pick out three boys. We don’t have to worry about that right now,” he kissed me on the lips. “Whenever that time comes, we’ll discuss that.”

  “Okay,” I muttered.

  There was no need to get in my feelings about something that wasn’t happening right away. I had time to tell him I didn’t want children. Right now, I needed to focus on telling my sisters that I was getting married. I was mentally preparing myself to hear Free’s mouth about me marrying a stranger. For once, I was doing something that I wanted to do. The hard part would be trying to get Justice up here because she was still not talking to me.

  Can you and Justice come visit me? I have to tell you both something. I sent Free a text message while Ty was on the phone.

  Of course. Something wrong?

  Just need to see you both and talk.

  I’ll come after I finish at the office. Let me call Jus and see if she’s free too.

  K.

  I put my phone away and watched as Ty paced the garden, giving orders out. He put his phone back into his pocket and came over to me. “Babe, I gotta go.”

  “I know, work calls,” I replied and stood up while gathering my coloring book and pencils. “Drive safe, please.”

  He hugged me and kissed me on the lips. “I will. Call you tonight.”

  “K,” I replied and walked back to the building, while he walked through the gates to the parking lot. I stood outside the door and watched his yellow Lamborghini whip out the parking lot.

  He beeped his horn when he got onto the street and I waved before going into the building. When I walked in, my therapist was just coming in to start her shift. “Hey Liberty!”

  “Hi, Miranda,” I smiled and continued to go upstairs to my room.

  This center wasn’t nearly as glamorous as the one that Staten paid for, but the help was different. I could relate to the people in group circle more than the other ones. In the other rehab, they were stars, rich and had money to spend on treatments for the rest of their lives. Plus, their family wasn’t disappointed because they had money. I wiped my savings out and was literally living on the small amount of money that I had under my couch. Having a coke habit was expensive, especially when you did it as frequently as I did. Free was paying my rent because I had no more paid time at work. I laid across the bed and looked at the ceiling before my eyes grew heavy and eventually,
I was fast asleep.

  “Liberty?” I heard my name being called.

  I stirred from my sleep and looked at the clock. “Yeah?”

  “You have visitors downstairs,” the nurse told me.

  “Thank you. Let me fix myself and I’ll be down there,” I promised and went to the bathroom. I washed my face, put some lip gloss on and fix my messy bun into a neat one.

  Why was I so nervous to tell them? It was my life and I was grown, right? I could do whatever I wanted, so they couldn’t tell me that I could not marry Ty. What if they didn’t like him and then I married him? So many questions were swirling around my mind and I didn’t know what to say or do. How do I start a conversation that I’m getting married when they didn’t even know I was dating? All these thoughts continued to attack my mind when I got downstairs. I entered the visitation room and spotted Free and Justice sitting at a table near the window. I smiled as I headed over to them. Free stood up and hugged me.

  “Your skin looks so good and clear,” she complimented.

  “Thanks,” I sat down when I realized that Justice wasn’t going to stand up. “Thanks for coming, Justice.”

  “Sure,” she replied, being short.

  “What’s going on? You had me worried with that text message?” Free jumped right into the conversation.

  “How’s Ghost and Samoor?”

  “Ghost is doing good and Samoor’s heart hasn’t declined, so we’re good. Now, tell me what is going on that I had to drive here to see you.”

  I sighed and then looked at both of them. “I’m getting married,” I revealed.

  Justice had been so busy texting on her phone, but when I mentioned I was getting married, she looked up at me. “Married?” she blurted. “To who?”

  “I’ve been dating a guy and he makes me happy. It hasn’t been that long, but he asked me to marry him and I told him yes.”

  “Does he know you do drugs, have a son and come with a lifelong addiction?” Justice beat Free to the punch.