by Jahquel J
You think having his baby means anything. Me and him have history. I was close with his big sister, you never even met her. I sighed and rolled my eyes at the text message from Lavern. It was getting so bad that I was able to set a time around when she would send a message or call from another number.
Free noticed my facial expression. “What’s the matter?”
“Lavern. She texts and calls all the damn time about Priest. It’s one thing that he cheated but having to be dragged into this shit with him is what irritates me.”
“What does she want with you?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. All she does is bring up the past they share. I don’t give a damn about none of it.”
“Did you talk to him about it?”
“Yeah.”
“And what does he say?”
“Told me to block her.”
“And?”
“The bitch must be Verizon cause she got a bunch of different numbers. I’m tired of hearing from her. If she wants him, she can go and have him, why does she have to bother me?”
“Wanna meet up with her and fuck her up?” I laughed because Free was serious as hell. “I’m serious.”
“No. We’re mamas and don’t need to be sitting in jail because we beat her ass.”
“Shit, bail money is nothing.”
“It’s not, but I’m not going to give in to what she wants. She wants to meet with me, and I refuse to give her that. Priest slept with her, not me. I don’t need to speak or address anything with the bitch.”
“You should tell him that he needs to make her stop. It seems like it starts and ends with him, so he needs to put her in his place,” I tossed my phone to the other side of the couch.
“Yeah, we’ll talk about it when he comes over later.”
“Later, eh?”
“He comes to put Yasmine to sleep. I be in my bed watching TV, and he says good night and I lock the door behind him.”
Nothing was happening with me and Priest and I wished Free stopped wishing and praying for it to happen. She understood that he fucked up, yet secretly she was still wishing and hoping that we would fix things and make it work. Everyone wanted that and I understood that, still, I couldn’t get over what he did to me and I didn’t think I could get over it. I would always be wondering if he was cheating on me, or if an old friend pops up, I would wonder if there was something more. Lavern harassed me like I was the problem. She met me, knew I was with him and still chose to sleep with him knowing he belonged to another woman. Just because they had history didn’t mean that she could do what she did. Nonetheless, I was the one being harassed like I ripped her happy family apart.
Freedom and Samoor stayed over for a few more hours before she headed home. When Somali called and told her that their nanny wasn’t feeling too good, she darted out the door to get home to her babies. I loved how she accepted Rain like her own. She came back to Staten Island with two kids, and now she had four. Shit, if she got some dick in Belize, she might have five when she left the country. I locked the door behind them and went to shower while Yasmine was swinging gently in her swing. She was awake with the pacifier sticking out of her mouth. I loved that my baby didn’t need to always be asleep for me to get things done. She could be in her bouncer, swing or bed looking at the ceiling and wouldn’t cry. The only time she cried is when she wanted some milk.
I held the door opened for Priest around nine. Yasmine was already sleep and I had told him via text message, yet he still insisted on coming over to kiss her goodnight. I closed the door behind him as he kicked his shoes off and headed to her nursery. I leaned in the doorway as I watched him gently pick her up and sit in the rocking chair. He kissed her forehead a few times, then cradled her while rocking in the chair.
“Daddy had a hard day today, but seeing you has made it all worth it,” he spoke softly to her. “I missed you, Yasmine,” he cooed.
Priest was an amazing father. Hell, I knew he would be. He was always here to kiss her goodnight and never missed a night. It didn’t matter what he had going on, he made a way to see or speak to his daughter. He would call just to hear her light baby snores and it annoyed the hell out of me. Then, I thought about if I had a baby father who didn’t give a damn. He wasn’t one of those fathers and I couldn’t be mad because he wanted to always spend time with his baby. If things didn’t go down the way they did, I knew we would have been happy. I often thought about how things were so perfect once upon a time ago. Everything seemed like stuff was going down the right path for us. Marriage probably would have been next after Yasmine. Now, we were living in two different homes and just trying to do the best for our daughter. It was funny how shit happened.
“You good?” I noticed he was now looking and talking to me. Priest always asked if I was fine, even if I ignored him, it was nice that he asked me.
“Just tired. I had a long day,” I yawned and folded my arms.
“I miss you,” he revealed.
“I bet you do,” I turned and walked into my bedroom. Tonight wasn’t the night for him to tell me how much he missed me.
Was it crazy that I missed him too? I missed feeling him inside of me and screaming his name. You didn’t know what you had until you couldn’t get dick whenever you wanted. Did I miss him emotionally? Probably, but I would never admit that to him. You didn’t get to stomp on my heart and think that a few sorrys and miss yous would solve everything.
“Justice, I love the fuck out of you and I’m sorry that I even did that dumb shit. I’m not blaming no one because it was me that made the decision to fuck around. I made a stupid judgement call and tried to use our small fight as a reason to justify my cheating. You’ve always been real with me, even when I didn’t want to hear it, I should have been the same with you. You didn’t deserve what I did to you.”
I stood there and looked at him. He was saying all the right things, but that wouldn’t be enough this time. Saying all the right things wouldn’t allow my heart to open and allow him back inside. The crazy thing was that I believed everything he was saying. I could tell he would never hurt me again and he had learned his lesson, still, a part of me wouldn’t allow me to let him in.
“Go home, Priest,” I pushed his chest out of my bedroom. If he took another step further, I don’t know what would have happened.
“Have a good night, Justice. I love y’all,” he said and headed toward the door. As I took the door knob in my hand to let him out, he turned around and kissed me on the lips. “I want this more than I want to breathe. I fucked up and I’m not expecting you to forget, but I need your forgiveness,” he said.
“Goodnight,” was all I could muster out. Tomorrow Yasmine had an appointment and I had to get up to make sure the Uber arrived in time.
Mornings with a child was never easy. I remember when I was able to shower, sit for ten minutes in my robe and even have time for a cup of tea. Now, I was barely able to run a brush through my hair because my child commanded all my attention. She looked adorable, meanwhile I walked into places looking like I had been beat by roadkill. This morning wasn’t no different. Yasmine had her appointment and I had scheduled my Uber last night before I went to bed. Each time I looked at my app, I didn’t see the black Uber X I had booked near my house. I hated waiting on people, and this was a prime example of why I tried to do everything myself.
Priest had a meeting with Kiki’s therapist this morning, so he had to miss Yasmine’s appointment. Her doctor’s office was hard to get into, so I had to take what they gave me. He made me promise that I would keep him on the phone while the doctor spoke so he wouldn’t miss anything. It was comical how he thought I couldn’t get Yasmine to her appointment and fill him in on it without having him on the phone.
Come downstairs. He sent me a message and I sighed. He probably got out of the appointment early and decided to come get me. Since the Uber wasn’t here, I had no other choice but to get inside his car.
I gathered up all of Yasmine’s things
and my purse before heading downstairs. When I got downstairs, I didn’t see him. Instead, I saw a Rolls Royce truck with a bow sitting in the assigned parking spots. A man was standing beside it, and that’s when I noticed the truck with the trailer parked on the opposite of the street. I dialed Priest so quick my nail almost came off.
“You see it?” he answered.
“What is this?”
“You shouldn’t have to borrow everyone’s car. I’m sorry it’s late, but I had to pull some strings to get this shipped from Calabasas.”
“A… R…rolls Royce truck? This is too much,” I stammered.
“Justice, you deserve this truck and more. I’m sorry for putting you through all of this. Having Yasmine should have been the happiest day of your life and I fucked that up. This can never make up for that, but I promise I’m not going to stop until I make it up to you, ma.”
“Ma’am, can you sign for this? I have the keys right here and then it’s all yours. Mr. Mooney paid extra for it to come this early,” the short Italian man next to the truck told me.
“Y… you don’t even have this car. I can’t take this car,” my hands shook as I signed my name and dated on the dotted line.
“You’re the only person in Staten Island with this shit. I made sure when I got it delivered to the Rolls Royce dealership in Jersey. He has a few clients in Staten Island still on the waitlist.”
“Priest, what did you do?” I giggled and accepted the keys from the man. “I don’t even know how to drive this thing,” I was floored that he pulled something like this. Last night, he didn’t tell me that he was doing this.
“I want my ladies to ride in style, is that so wrong? Despite what is going on with you and me, I always want to make sure you’re safe with my daughter. You like to be independent and I get that, but I don’t want you and my daughter riding around in an Uber.
“Thank you, Priest. It is too much, but I appreciate you getting us a car.”
“I love you, Justice. It’s nothing. Let me get back to this appointment. Can we do lunch after Yas’ appointment?”
“I’ll think about it,” I smirked and ended the call.
“He loves you. The way he yelled for me to get over here this morning, that man loves you,” the man told me.
After the man showed me how to work the truck, me and Yasmine were on our way. The stares we got when we pulled up to the light, or when I chose to valet park the truck at her appointment was crazy. People had a million questions that I didn’t have answers to. I didn’t know half of what this truck did. All I knew was that I saw it on Instagram and was intrigued by it. I had never told Priest that I wanted this truck either. As over the top as the truck was, I was happy that I didn’t have to wait around for an Uber or borrow someone’s car to get around. As much as I liked the truck, I knew that I couldn’t use this as an everyday truck. I checked in and waited for the nurse to call us to the back. My phone rang and I was hesitant about even answering.
“Hello?”
“Justice McGurry?”
“Yes, who is speaking?”
“My name is Patty Morgan, I’m Mr. Mooney’s real estate agent. Are you available to pick up the keys to your condo today?”
“Excuse me?” I was so confused when she mentioned condo.
“Yes, Mr. Mooney purchased you a three-bedroom condo in a gated community. He said it was a push present for the baby. Congratulations, by the way. It’s ready to be moved in, you just need to pick up the keys from me today.”
“Uh, can I call you back?” This had to be a dream. Priest couldn’t have bought me a new damn condo and a car in the same day. I had to be dreaming.
11
Priest
“I know you hate going to therapy, but do you think it’s helping you?” I questioned Kiki, as we drove home.
She shrugged her shoulders and continued to look out the window as we drove. I wanted the Kiki that laughed, was silly and was so passionate about dance. It seemed like overnight she changed, and I didn’t know how to get her back. When I got the call about her trying to kill herself in school, I wanted to fall to the ground and beg God to give me the answers and guidance to watch over her. I had been so occupied with my personal life that I had missed the signs. She never wanted to go to school, stayed to herself and dropped out of dance a few months ago. I thought she just outgrew it like Love did, so I didn’t stress it. Thinking back, those were all signs of a child going through something and not wanting to talk about it. Her sisters even missed it and I felt like shit because I was supposed to be there to protect her.
“Come on, this doesn’t work unless you talk to me,” I nudged her and tried to get a smile out of her.
“Ro, I don’t know. I go because you think it’s what is best. I’m not going to try and kill myself again, and I’m tired of having to talk about it,” she sighed and leaned her head on the window.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized.
“For what?” she looked at me confused.
“I haven’t been the best uncle and provider. I allowed shit in my personal life to take over and I ignored your cries for help.”
She started sniffling and that’s when I noticed she was crying. “I don’t fit in nowhere. When I’m around the white kids, I’m the black girl with big hair and dark skin. Then, when I’m with the black kids, I’m the black girl who talks white and think she’s better than everyone. I didn’t ask to have Gucci bookbags, get dropped off in fancy cars and talk like this. It’s hard trying to fit in, especially when boys…” she allowed her voice to trail off.
“When what, Kiki?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Ro,” she pleaded with me.
“Tell me.”
She sighed and looked out the window. “Me and a boy were going out and went to the bathroom during class, and we messed around. His friends were in the stalls and took pictures of me.”
“What the fuck?” I blurted. When she allowed her voice to trail off, I didn’t think that was what she was going to say. “Kiki, why didn’t you tell me?”
“For what? I told my teachers and the principal about them posting me on social media, and no one did anything. I don’t ever want to go back to the school, Ro. Put me in public school, I don’t care,” she sobbed.
I made a sharp left and headed to her school. “I’m pissed you didn’t tell me this shit sooner. Or maybe I’m pissed that I didn’t notice the signs sooner. Either way, I’m pissed,” I spoke through gritted teeth.
As much as my nieces got on my nerves and were dramatic as fuck, they were my princesses and didn’t deserve to be hurt the way Kiki had been. Especially since she was a good ass kid. The girl never bothered anybody and was a good student. I paid out the ass for this school and they were due to receive her tuition check next month for the next school year. Not once did they tell me she came to them with her concerns, or did they say anything when Kiss’ ass was fucking in the bleachers in school. They placed all the damn blame on Justice, then fired her, but not once took accountability for the shit. It took me twenty minutes to make it to her school. When I did, I damn near jumped out of the car before I put it into park.
“Ro, do I need to go inside?”
“Yeah, let’s go,” I sternly told her and walked to the school building. As usual, I went through security and got a badge. It was lunch, so kids were filing in and out of the cafeteria. Kiki put her hood over her head, but that didn’t stop someone from spotting her.
“Kiki, do you wanna live? Kiki do you love me?” they mocked her using Drake’s lyrics. That shit had me so pissed I had to remember I could get jail time for fucking these group of boys up.
“Leave her alone. She’s dramatic, who tries to kill themselves at school. Here’s a hint, do it at home, loser.” A girl came into the middle of the group with a smirk on her face.
“Let’s just go, Ro,” Kiki whispered, which pissed me off. These pale face bastards had the nerve to make light of something that was so important and seriou
s.
I turned around and walked right over to them. “You love your mom?”
“Fuck you want to know for?”
I pulled my shirt up and showed my gun. “Say another thing to that one right there and I’ll fucking put a hole in all of your moms’ heads.”
“My mom died already,” the smart-ass little bitch had the nerve to say. I guess she didn’t get the glimpse at my gun, so I flashed it again. “I’ll kill you instead.”
“S…sorr…sorry,” the main bitch ass stuttered.
“Don’t let her brains and voice fool you, she got a whole bunch of niggas that will go to war for her and trust you don’t want me to call them. One call, and you’ll be wearing black,” I hawked up spit and spit right in his face. I believed that spitting in someone’s face was the worst thing you could do, but the fact that these were the kids responsible for me almost losing my niece, made me want to do it.
When I turned around, there was a teacher staring, but didn’t say a word. Instead, she motioned for me to follow behind her. She opened the classroom door and then closed it behind me and Kiki.
“I’ve watched those kids pick on her every day at lunch. Their parents have donated a lot of money to this school, so they get away with murder.”
“Not anymore. I want them held accountable for what the fuck they did to her,” I was still on one, so she was probably scared because I was yelling.
“Honey, I’m sorry you thought suicide was the only way out. If you ever need to talk, my office is down the hall.”
“She doesn’t even need to worry about that, she ain’t coming back to this school,” I said and left her classroom. She pulled me in here to tell me how those kids were basically God cause their parents donated. I guess they didn’t know who the fuck I was.
Since my niece felt her life didn’t matter and they felt the same way, I would shoot up their homes so they could get the point of fear and sorrow that Kiki must have felt while going through this. The principal’s assistant was outside at her desk and smiled when she saw me walk up. That same smile faded when she saw me walk right into the office where the principal was having his lunch.
