“Adam, Stephen, I’d like to talk to Clementine alone,” Eugene said, and Clementine jumped. She hadn’t even realized Adam was in the room.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. We’re not allowed—” Adam started.
Stephen rolled his eyes and grabbed Adam’s arm. “What are they going to do? Leave the baby and run off back to the Pack? Come on, don’t be an idiot.”
Clementine didn’t miss that Eugene flinched at the mention of the baby. Her throat went dry. She knew it was a shock, but in the situations they had been in… there just hadn’t been a good time to tell him. He’d understand that, surely?
Adam protested, but Stephen didn’t let him win the argument. He pushed him from the room, leaving Clementine and Eugene alone. Clementine opened her mouth, then closed it again. Eugene stared at his food, but the look on his face was distant.
“So. Baby?” Eugene finally said.
“Yeah. A little boy. A dragon.”
Eugene nodded. “Adam told me. Took me to see him… You were sleeping, otherwise, I would have…”
He trailed off, leaving Clementine wondering exactly what he would have done. She sat in silence for a moment longer, wondering what she was supposed to say. She had expected that Eugene would be thrilled to see her at least. That he’d grab her and kiss her, and she’d have to tell him to be gentle. But maybe he knew her physical state and that was why he wasn’t initiating contact.
Clementine awkwardly got out of the chair and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ve been worried about you.”
“Yeah. I’ve worried about you, too.” He didn’t look at her. Why wasn’t he looking at her?
She frowned at him. “What’s the matter, Eugene? Why aren’t you looking at me?”
Eugene flinched. “I just… What did you name the baby?”
Was it because he was mad at her for not telling him? “I haven’t named him yet. I thought you’d want to be part of it.”
Eugene flinched again.
Clementine continued to frown. Why was he acting like this? “I was going to tell you. But first, I didn’t want you thinking I was trying to manipulate you and then we were in the Pack’s clutches… I didn’t want you to worry more, especially since you said we had to be careful because the Alpha wanted me pregnant. I wanted to tell you. It was torture keeping it from you.”
“I guess I didn’t notice because once we were with the Pack, we were never naked together,” he said cautiously.
Something in his tone tipped Clementine off. “Eugene, do you know how long it’s been since I escaped the Pack?”
A shrug. “Few weeks.”
“No. No, it’s been a few months. The extra serum the Alpha gave you must have screwed with your sense of time.”
Eugene’s brow furrowed. “I… months? Well, he did keep me in windowless rooms. And food… I don’t remember if I had regular meals or not.” He pressed a hand to his forehead. “Months? How many months?”
“I…” Clementine frowned. “Well, it’s got to be at least three. No, four. It’s been confusing. I’ve been working non-stop to try to create the anti-serum. I’m afraid that my brain hasn’t been working properly since I gave birth, either. They have me on blockers, and I haven’t healed all the way. And I was very worried about the baby and for you. I didn’t know if the anti-serum would work when the Alpha had dosed you with so much.”
Eugene pressed his fingers to his temples. “Yeah. Yeah, it was confusing for me, too. It was… a lot of… Anyway. How long did you know? That you were pregnant? Did you know before we went to the Pack?”
Clementine grimaced. Would he be angry with her for risking their unborn child like that? She had known it was a risk. Now, looking back, she didn’t understand how she could have taken such a risk. If things hadn’t turned out the way they did, she could have lost her baby. The Alpha could have gotten his stinking hands on the baby. Anything could have happened.
“I found out while I was on the run, after Mark’s attack.” He had never woken from his coma. Tests were done that confirmed he was a shifter, but he had died while they had been prisoners of the Pack. “That’s one of the reasons why I went to your parents’ farm.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t know what I else to do. I couldn’t stay shifted because it would be dangerous to the baby, and I couldn’t stay hidden if I didn’t stay shifted.” Clementine peered anxiously at him, but he still refused to look at her. “I had hoped you’d believe me when I told you I was innocent. I wanted you to help me. But I didn’t tell you I was pregnant because—”
“Because you didn’t want to manipulate me.”
That wasn’t why. She hadn’t been manipulating him at all! It was because she didn’t want to seem like she was manipulating him. She didn’t want him to doubt her feelings for him. But she nodded because she thought he understood that, even if he didn’t say it quite how she would have.
“I… I understand. Why you didn’t tell me then and why you didn’t tell me before we went to the Pack, or after. It’s better that way… Because then we both knew that I wasn’t doing it because of the baby and only because of the baby.”
Clementine flinched. “I never would have doubted your feelings for me, Eugene. I know you love me.”
Eugene inhaled deeply. He visibly braced himself and met her eye for the first time. “Who… Never mind. It doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t—”
“I don’t care who else you slept with. I love you. I want to be with you. So, if you’ll have me, I want to be in your life. I’ll be your baby’s father.” He reached for her hand, but she snatched it back.
“You are my baby’s father,” she snapped at him. “Who else would I have slept with?”
Eugene closed his mouth. The furrow in his brow deepened, and his expression grew angrier. “Clementine, I saw the baby. It’s too big to be mine, even if I was gone for four months. Not to mention a month ago if you gave birth you’d have only been—”
“Stop.” Clementine held up her hand. She should have known that he would be confused about that. She felt like an idiot for not realizing that was what he was confused about. At the same time, though, she hated that he thought she would just go around sleeping with whoever.
Was it because he went around sleeping with whoever?
“He was premature. I was only five months pregnant when I went into labor, and he has grown and developed extremely fast this past month. You can ask anybody if you don’t believe me. You’re his father because you’re the only one who can be his father.” Clementine glared at him and stiffly got to her feet. “Feel free to come see me when you feel like being a father.”
“Clementine—”
She ignored him as she walked out, leaving the wheelchair behind. Stephen tried to help her, but she shook him off. The agony was almost too much to keep walking by the time she got back to her room. There, she silently let Fiona cuff her again. Her baby was still fast asleep.
As soon as the two of them were gone, Clementine buried her face into the pillow and started to sob. Maybe love wasn’t enough… maybe being mates wasn’t enough… If Eugene would just assume something like that about her…
Maybe they just had too many years of pain between them to make this work.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Once Eugene woke up, Maura made sure that his psych evaluation happened quickly. It was only a few days before he was free to come and go as he pleased. The anti-serum worked perfectly. No trace of the serum or its effects remained in his system. It was like it had never even happened.
Or at least, except for the memories.
In those first few days, Eugene found that he was afraid to go to sleep. He didn’t want to wake up and have those noises in his head, feel all those conflicting creatures in his chest. It was terrifying. He didn’t want to go back to that. So, he went to see Clementine. No matter what he said, they wouldn’t uncuff her, but at least they were together.
The whol
e business about him assuming the baby was someone else’s hung between them, though. They were careful to dance around the issue as they talked about baby names, but it was there. Eugene didn’t know what to say. What else was he supposed to have assumed? He didn’t know what the timing was. He didn’t know that the baby had grown and developed so much.
But what he did know was that the disappointment in Clementine’s eyes was the same disappointment he had felt when she turned him down fifteen years ago.
With a sigh, he sank into a bench just outside the hospital. He’d been released to go back to his apartment whenever he wanted. He wasn’t under any suspicions since he had been working under Patrick’s command when he went to the Pack. However, Karey’s escape in Clementine’s presence had brought the arguments against her back to the forefront.
They didn’t know what had become of Karey or if the Alpha had allowed her to use the anti-serum on him. Eugene hated that she had gone back to him. But then, maybe leaving everything she had been raised with and everything she knew was just too much for her. Or maybe she believed what she had been taught. He didn’t know, and he wasn’t sure that he cared. Not right now. Not when he had so much else to think about.
Such as the fact that he didn’t know what was going to happen. Clementine was going to be tried. The charges against her weren’t dropped. Even with Adam being alive and explaining what happened, Maura wasn’t taking any chances. And while Eugene thought she was taking things too far, the fact was, Maura was in charge and nothing he could say or do would change her mind in this case.
Just as he wasn’t sure that there was anything he could say or do to really make Clementine forgive him. The assumption, he knew, was an easy mistake to make. The problem was, it was part of a larger problem, a larger pattern.
“Hey.”
He looked up to see Adam trotting over to him. His teammate sat and grinned at him, although it was short-lived. “What’s got your face so long?”
“I’m just stuck on something,” Eugene muttered. He leaned back on the bench and stared at the sky.
“Want to talk about it.”
Yeah. Yeah, he did. He wanted to talk about it. Needed to talk about it. But… not with Adam. While the sergeant was a great guy and a solid friend, he wouldn’t know what this was like. He didn’t know Eugene and Clementine. Didn’t know what it meant to have a mate or have a child. And, Eugene grimaced, there were people that he needed to tell about this before they found out from other sources.
Unless Clementine has told them already. He hadn’t asked her. Why hadn’t he asked her?
“I’m going to go visit my parents on their farm.”
Adam straightened. “Hey! You can’t do that. You have to stay here. That’s a long flight and—”
“It’s not that long of a flight.” Eugene rolled his eyes. “And I was cleared for activity. I’m still on leave, aren’t I? Besides, I could use the stretch. My wings feel all cramped up.”
“At least let me come with you.” Adam sprang to his feet.
Eugene wanted to tell him no, but that would be a poor idea. Besides not being in great physical shape now, the Pack was still out there. He agreed to Adam flying with him. They stopped off to tell Patrick, who disapproved until Adam assured him he’d stick to Eugene like glue.
The flight was more taxing than Eugene was used to. He was out of breath by the time they arrived. When they landed on the yard, he grimaced as he shifting back. It felt good, that was for sure, but it still left a burn in his wings that he was unused to.
His parents spilled from the house before they reached the door. They hugged and kissed him and shuffled him inside at once, where Mom and Dad immediately started putting food in front of him. Modir shooed Adam off so they could talk privately and retrieved a bottle of brandy that she cracked open.
“I was wondering when you would come to visit your old, decrepit parents.”
Eugene laughed. “Modir, I just woke up from a coma a few days ago. I was just cleared for this sort of physical activity today. Actually, I’m guessing Erica isn’t going to be happy. She’s going to say I pushed myself too far.”
“And she’s right.” Mom sat beside him and tenderly combed her fingers through his hair. “We have been so worried.”
“I’m sorry.” He tried to chuckle, but it came out sounding very sad. “It hasn’t been that great for me, either. I mean, I didn’t even know how long it had been. Half a year has gone by, and I don’t remember a damn thing about it.”
Dad put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You are going to see a therapist, right?”
“Yes, Dad.” Eugene sighed. “Maura’s already got me signed up with someone at the Academy. I know I went through a lot of trauma, and I know that’s going to be something I have to work through. It’s not the reason I came to see you though. This is… awkward. And important. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
Dad took a seat beside Mom and frowned while Modir retrieved them all a slice of pie. “We eat, you talk,” she said. “Then we talk, and you eat.”
Eugene nodded. He picked at the pie as he tried to figure out how to say this. Finally, he couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “Well… I don’t know if you have heard this, but I’m a father.”
Mom moved a little closer. “Yeah. We’ve known for quite a while. Clementine told us she was pregnant a few months ago and we came by the Academy to see you and the baby near the beginning. Dr. Rizzoli told us that she didn’t know when you’d be waking up and that it’d be best for us not to be around with you… in that state.”
“And she was right. I didn’t want you to see me like that.” Eugene ducked his head. He didn’t remember much about what he’d been like, but the team had told him. It made him flinch to think of his mother seeing him in that state. “But anyway, when I found out about the baby, I didn’t know how much time had passed. I assumed that he was full-term… and that she had already been pregnant when we slept together the first time.”
He told them about what happened. When he was done, Modir insisted that he start eating his pie. His parents finished up theirs and glanced between each other, silently discussing what to do. That they could communicate so much in a glance made him feel envious.
“How did you feel when you thought she was pregnant with another man’s baby?”
Eugene frowned. “Upset. Betrayed. But if she had, I wouldn’t have any right to be upset. It’s not like we were together. But it doesn’t matter because she didn’t sleep with anybody else. The baby is mine.”
“It does matter, though,” Dad said slowly. He massaged Mom’s neck gently and glanced at Modir. She nodded at him to continue, and he leaned his elbow on the table. “It matters because by assuming that she had slept with other men and so close to when you two got together, it tells her that you have slept with other women. So, what you felt when you thought the baby was another man’s? That’s what she is feeling right now.”
Eugene opened his mouth, then shoveled pie into it because he had nothing to say. He hadn’t thought about that. Then he thought about the times when he had slept with other women and his gut folded and twisted in on itself.
That was it, was it? He had to tell her. As much as he hated to think about it… but if it would only cause her pain, was it worth telling? “I was trying to move past her,” he mumbled. “And since she came back into my life… well, I almost did a couple of times, but I didn’t.”
Mom patted his hand. “You need to tell her that, then.”
“But if I tell her, it’ll just hurt her,” Eugene argued. “Can’t I just say that I made mistakes in my past and leave it at that?”
“Would you want to leave it at that with her?”
Eugene snapped his jaw shut. He glared at his pie as he pondered the question. He hadn’t even considered that Clementine might have had other sexual partners until he learned she’d given birth. He shrugged unwillingly, then sighed. “I don’t want intimate details.”
“But?”
“But I want to know more than just ‘mistakes’. That’s too vague. It leaves it too open for other possibilities.”
“Exactly,” Modir put in dryly. “Eugene, I know that you’re a stubborn, independent man who doesn’t need his old parents anymore, but trust me on this one. Whether you have one or two or more people in a relationship, whether it’s romantic or platonic or a working relationship, the only way it’s going to survive is with communication.”
“That’s true,” Mom agreed. “God knows the three of us have had our blowups. And it’s always down to a lack of communication over something.”
Dad chuckled. “True that. And Eugene, it’s clear this is something that’s important to you. So, ask her what she wants to know, answer honestly and then ask what you want to know. Listen, don’t jump to conclusions, and make sure she’s willing to listen, too.”
Eugene nodded but he still frowned. “I just… I don’t know if I know how to be a good mate.”
“Why’s that?” Mom asked.
“I’ve been so hurt and angry for so long. I don’t know if… well, what if there is just too much between us? What if we can’t make it work because we can’t ever trust each other again?”
“That is why you talk to her,” Modir said, poking his shoulder with each word. “And don’t jump to conclusions.”
“She still might end up convicted of something she didn’t do.”
Mom patted his hand. “Listen to me, Eugene. If you really are fated mates, and I believe you are, things will work out as long as you hold onto each other and the life you want to build.”
Hold onto her. Eugene took a deep breath, steeling himself. Yes, that was exactly what he needed to do. Hold onto Clementine, hold onto their baby. Hold onto their life. He would make this work—come hell or high water.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Clementine wrapped the baby up in the blankets again after changing his diaper and pulled him in close to her chest. His little eyes, so dark and innocent, gazed up at the lights on the ceiling. She wanted him to look at her, but his eyes were heavy and they might not be looking at anything at all. He yawned, his tiny body relaxing into her. She stroked his head, then sighed as a knock preceded Erica’s entry.
Dragon's Pride (Dragon Blaze Ops Book 3) Page 16
