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The Boy Toy

Page 6

by Justin Blasdel


  HELEN

  KIDS?!?

  KEITH

  We can talk about it later.

  HELEN finds the envelope.

  HELEN

  Aha! You read this now.

  KEITH

  What is thi--

  HELEN

  Right now! Right now, right now, right now!

  KEITH

  Okay. Is this a love letter?

  HELEN

  Now!

  KEITH opens the envelope and reads the letter.

  KEITH

  “I will now return to whom I use to be. Once more to who I was, and forever to who I am.” That’s a cute…

  KEITH’s personality finally reverts to its original form. HE can feel this change and realizes how odd HE has been acting.

  HELEN

  Keith?

  Long Beat.

  HELEN

  Keith?

  KEITH

  Yeah.

  HELEN

  Are you normal again?

  KEITH

  Yeah. I guess.

  Beat.

  HELEN takes the letter back.

  HELEN

  I don’t...I don't know if this is going to work out between us.

  KEITH

  I…

  HELEN

  First you ignore me, then you only want sex, and now you want to marry me?

  KEITH

  I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did all those things. I mean...I guess I thought about those things every now and again, like daydreams and stuff, but not seriously. Did I really do all that?

  HELEN

  You did do all that. You’ve not been yourself these past few weeks.

  KEITH

  No. I haven’t.

  Beat.

  HELEN

  Keith, you’re sweet, strong, and loyal, but maybe we need to spend some time away from each other. Okay?

  KEITH

  You think so?

  HELEN

  Yes. Yes, I do.

  Beat.

  KEITH

  I guess you're right. I'll go home.

  HELEN

  That’s a good idea.

  KEITH

  I haven’t been there in weeks. I need to do laundry.

  HELEN

  Get your priorities straight, and then call me in a few days.

  KEITH

  I’m…sorry. I…I…

  HELEN

  I know. Go home and rest.

  KEITH nods and exits.

  HELEN takes the letter and envelope and reads them, trying to find a hidden message in them. BRENDA enters.

  BRENDA

  I can’t believe you did that.

  HELEN

  Brenda! You were hiding there the--

  BRENDA

  You’re going to let him walk off and let him think this is all his fault?

  HELEN

  (to offstage) Jeanine! You were supposed to show her out! Brenda, you don’t understand. He’s-

  BRENDA

  What? He’s not perfect? No man is perfect, but he’s closer to the finish line than most, Helen!

  HELEN

  How do you know?

  BRENDA

  Let me see; he’s more handsome than any boyfriend I've ever had, he’s the sweetest man alive who isn’t gay, and he’s stupid enough to think he’s the one who’s been acting crazy this last month. I mean, what more do you want?

  HELEN

  Something else.

  BRENDA

  What?

  HELEN

  I don’t know, but he isn’t it!

  Beat.

  BRENDA

  Helen, you married an old man, took all his money from his relatives even though you really didn't need all of it, and you spend it on vacations, cars, and men. What exactly do you deserve?

  Beat.

  HELEN

  I did what I had to do! No one was going to give me a free hand out, and I saw an opportunity to change--

  BRENDA

  A chance to steal some money from a man with more liver spots than Dick Van Dyke. I’ve been your friend for a long time, but…I don’t know you anymore.

  HELEN

  Don’t judge me. Don’t you dare judge me. I’m no angel, but you’re as evil as I am. I’m simply better at it than you are, and you can’t stand it.

  BRENDA

  Maybe I should change, because I don’t want to be the one who throws away a perfect man because--

  HELEN

  You wouldn’t know a man if he bit you--

  BRENDA

  Throws away a perfect man because I don’t know how to be happy!

  Beat.

  BRENDA (CONT.)

  What am I saying? Who else could stand me other than a cruel, heartless woman just like me. I’m going now. Bye.

  BRENDA exits.

  HELEN takes out the letter and envelope and rips it to shreds. SHE then sits down and looks at the photo album and tries to hide the tears.

  JEANINE enters and is about to say something, but SHE decides against it and exits.

  Slow fade to black.

  SCENE VIII

  Lights up.

  There is a sports bag lying upon the sofa along with a tennis racket. JEANINE is trying to find ways to neatly compact all of KEITH's sports supplies into it.

  KEITH enters carrying a tube of tennis balls, swimming trunks, and a couple bottles of sunscreen. He looks into the bag and tries to stuff all of it in the bag, but it won’t all fit.

  KEITH

  I’ll carry it. Thanks.

  JEANINE

  You're a good man, Mr. Wilcox. I wish I had more to say to you. Sometimes, life doesn't work out how you plan it to. But that doesn't mean it's all bad. When it looks like you'll live out your days on this planet in pain and sadness, it'll change on you again just to spite you. Keep your spirits high.

  KEITH

  Thanks, Jeanine. I'll keep in touch. Hey, maybe I can get you signed up in my beginners swimmers class?

  JEANINE

  Do you swim in trunks or a speedo?

  KEITH

  What do you think?

  KEITH and JEANINE hug.

  HELEN enters.

  KEITH

  Thanks...again.

  Beat.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  Hey.

  HELEN

  Hello.

  Beat.

  JEANINE

  Well. I have to get lunch ready, so...I'll be off. (Whispered to HELEN) If it were a perfect world, I'd have someone fixing me lunch and a young, sweet man groveling at my feet.

  HELEN

  Jeanine, I...I...

  HELEN is about to explode in rage before JEANINE counteracts it.

  JEANINE

  A long time ago, a good friend of mine came up to me with all the guilt in the world. He told me he was taking advantage of this young, bright, beautiful woman. Stealing her youth, if you will. Said he'd manipulated her into loving him, and then took her away from all her friends and family. Robbed her of a home. But deep down, he didn't think he was good enough for her. He tortured himself a lot over that. I don't know if he ever got over it.

  HELEN

  What did your friend do?

  JEANINE

  You should know. You married him.

  Beat.

  JEANINE (CONT.)

  What Mr. Crabtree didn't realize is that this young girl had a mind of her own and that you can't trick someone into loving you. That happens naturally. So...there was only one question left for him to ask. Did he love her?

  JEANINE exits.

  KEITH

  This is the rest of my stuff. I guess I’ll go now.

  HELEN

  Sure.

  Beat.

  KEITH

  I want to say…

  HELEN

  Yes?

  KEITH

  I want to say I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did all those things. I’ve been acting c
razy these past weeks.

  HELEN

  You really have.

  KEITH

  Yeah. Really crazy.

  Beat.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  I’m sorry about asking to marry you. That was stupid of me. I’m sorry--

  HELEN

  Don’t.

  KEITH

  I can’t help it. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I really screwed things up, didn’t I?

  HELEN

  It wasn’t all you.

  KEITH

  Yeah, I think it was. I’m so…

  HELEN

  Don’t apologize again.

  KEITH

  I’m so into you that I don’t know how to act. You know? You're so smart, and you have all the money to buy anything you want…not that it’s a bad thing, but I don’t know how to compete with that.

  HELEN

  You never had to.

  KEITH

  Yeah, I did. You can have any guy you want. I mean, my job is being a lifeguard. A lifeguard! I swim for a living. How pathetic is that, right?

  HELEN

  It’s not pathetic. At least you’re doing what you love.

  KEITH

  It's fun, but it won’t last. How many years left till they hire a stronger, younger guy to replace me?

  HELEN

  You’ll figure something out.

  KEITH

  I always do. I just…wanted you to be there with me when I do. You’re so smart and funny and beautiful--

  HELEN

  Keith, stop it.

  KEITH

  Let me finish. I was fooling myself thinking you’d want me. You deserve better. A lot better.

  Beat.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  I guess I’m finished.

  Beat.

  HELEN

  I’m not as perfect as you think I am.

  KEITH

  Yes you are.

  KEITH picks up the bag and the rest of HIS stuff. HE walks past HELEN, but then comes back to the chess board and moves one of the pieces on the board.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  Mate in three.

  HELEN

  What? Wait, what?!

  HELEN checks the board.

  HELEN (CONT.)

  How did you do that? Are you even sure you’re right?

  KEITH

  Yeah. I’ve looked at that board every way possible. There’s no way for black to get out of that. It’s been driving me crazy.

  HELEN

  …you’re right. Mate in three.

  KEITH

  You play?

  HELEN

  Not since Richard died.

  KEITH

  I play all the time. Ever since my track coach in high school got me started, I’ve been hooked. “Healthy body, healthy mind works both ways, you know.” He was so good, even the Russians respected his skills.

  HELEN

  But I’ve never seen you play.

  KEITH

  I play online at home. I would have played a game with you if I knew you played too. Hey, we can play tonight…or not. Sorry. Never mind.

  Beat.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  Bye.

  KEITH starts to walk off.

  HELEN

  Wait!

  KEITH stops.

  KEITH

  Yeah?

  Beat.

  KEITH (CONT.)

  What’s the matter, babe?

  HELEN

  Keith…don’t go.

  KEITH

  Don’t go?

  HELEN

  No.

  KEITH

  No?

  KEITH drops HIS stuff.

  HELEN

  No.

  SCENE IX

  Lights up.

  The chess board is now on a table in front of the sofa. JEANINE is staring at the board.

  BRENDA (OS)

  I won again!

  BRENDA enters.

  BRENDA (CONT.)

  You better start working on your A-game, or I’ll tell all your lifeguard buddies how this girl keeps beating the pants off of you.

  KEITH enters.

  KEITH

  They’d laugh until you tell them it was at tennis. A girl’s game.

  BRENDA

  Hey! Tennis is a universally recognized sport.

  KEITH

  I wouldn’t play it if it wasn’t. Jeanine, you're not trying to help out Helen again, are you?

  JEANINE

  No, not in the least! (Whispered) It's not like she's smart enough to take my advice, anyhow.

  KEITH

  Hey, Helen! You think of your next move yet?

  HELEN enters with a tray of lemonades.

  HELEN

  I was taking a break.

  BRENDA

  Having trouble?

  HELEN

  No, I’m being nice enough to get my friends some drinks before I figure out exactly how to beat him.

  KEITH

  Don't you have Jeanine here for that?

  JEANINE

  No, I'm here for completely different reasons other than cleaning, cooking, and getting people their lemonades. Isn't that right, Ms. Crabtree.

  HELEN

  It's Ms. Crandall-Crabtree, and I have a glass of lemonade for you too, Jeanine.

  JEANINE

  Oh, good! My luck's getting better every day.

  KEITH, BRENDA, and JENINE get drinks. HELEN lays the tray and the last drink as SHE stares at the board.

  KEITH

  Thanks. You think after I win we can go and watch that movie tonight before it’s over?

  HELEN

  You’re hilarious. (to chessboard) Hah!

  HELEN moves a chess piece.

  HELEN (CONT.)

  Get out of that.

  KEITH moves a chess piece.

  KEITH

  Game over.

  BRENDA

  Did he win again?

  HELEN

  Yes.

  JEANINE

  Should have listened to me. You always have to look out for those diagonal pieces. Straight-aways never win the game.

  KEITH

  I’ll shower and we can go. You going with us, Brenda?

  BRENDA

  Oh, I have to work at the clinic today for some overtime.

  KEITH

  I’ll see you later. Good game, Helen!

  HELEN

  Yeah, yeah.

  KEITH exits.

  BRENDA

  I can’t believe he stayed after all you did to him.

  HELEN

  Love’s a mystery.

  JEANINE

  Yeaaaaaah. A mystery. I'll put this up now for you, Ms. Crabtree.

  JEANINE picks up the chessboard and exits.

  BRENDA

  You didn’t tell him, did you?

  HELEN

  I will. Someday.

  Beat.

  BRENDA

  Don’t.

  HELEN

  What?

  BRENDA

  This one’s a keeper. You’ll never find a guy better than him, so keep your mouth shut and be happy.

  Beat.

  HELEN

  You’re right.

  BRENDA

  Besides, he still might stay with you despite all you did, and then I’d have to kill you.

  HELEN

  You’ll find someone someday.

  BRENDA

  Yeah, I’m waiting for Mr. Perfect’s twin brother to come along.

  KEITH enters wearing only a towel.

  KEITH

  Babe…hey, Brenda.

  BRENDA

  Hey.

  KEITH

  (to HELEN) You mind if Taylor joins us tonight? He’s in town for a job, and I forgot I promised to show him around town. Is that cool?

  HELEN

  Your half-brother Taylor?

  KEITH

  Yeah. Oh, I’m not moving too fast again, am I? Meeting famil
y and stuff?

  HELEN

  No. God no! Invite Taylor to go with us. He probably has some cute stories about how you use to run around naked as a child.

  KEITH

  I’ll warn you, it was a lot. Back to my shower.

  BRENDA

  Bye Keith.

  KEITH waves and exits.

  BRENDA

  So…this half-brother Taylor, is he anything like Keith…body-wise?

  HELEN

  Apparently, they’re identical, except Taylor is an actor.

  BRENDA

  Is he famous?

  HELEN

  No. He’s a little too lazy…according to Keith. Why?

  BRENDA

  You know, I think I will go with you.

  HELEN laughs.

  BRENDA (CONT.)

  What? A girl’s got to eat, right?

  HELEN

  You’re invited, but don’t get mad at me if you’re disappointed. Taylor’s no Keith. Do you need to borrow one of my dresses?

 

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