Rutger

by Cari Silverwood

  Rutger chuckled and removed the vibe from her clit, switching it off. She felt them untie her and her limbs flopped where they lay. With a kiss Rutger tried to stir her. Her flesh seemed to have gone past what any woman could take.

  “Fuck-fuck-fuck,” she found herself saying, as if that word was all she knew.

  Gradually, she surfaced.

  The rope was gone from her eyes, and the two of them were cuddling her, spooning her from behind and at her front. Who was where? She didn’t care, but…

  “If you ever do that again, I may kill you both. I am…” She swallowed. “Dead.”

  And all the bastards would do was laugh quietly and kiss her.

  “I think it was a success,” Rutger said, still laughing. It was he who lay to her front.

  “Yes. Let’s do it again sometime.”

  “Bastards,” she said, curling up then feeling for both of them, her hand sliding on their muscles and horns and the sweat on their skin, both before her and behind her. She reassured herself that once again she had both of them with her.

  Both. Mmmm. Yes.

  Good.

  The world was almost perfect.

  Heartbeats thudded by in a forever rhythm, outside was distant and muffled, while in here was a haven from worries, from violence, from destruction and pain. She could have fallen asleep to the susurration of their breathing, comforted by having two hulking males surrounding her with their bodies.

  But her mind ticked over.

  “Hey, you two.” She struggled up onto her elbow. “I know this was fun, but shouldn’t we have one of those safewords like Rumpelstiltskin or something?”

  “In case you hurt us? What say you wise, Vargr?”

  “Us? Uhhh, yeah?”

  She punched his arm and glowered at Rutger.

  “Okay! Enough assaulting me!” Vargr reached up and dragged her down, kissing her ear and inhaling as if she smelled good to him. “Joking. Pretty sure you’d manage to kick our balls in even tied up, if you wanted to, pretty lady?”

  She thought it through. She would, or similar. Enough to warn them for sure. “True. I will henceforth use kicking your balls as my safeword.”

  “Shit. Look what you did.” Rutger smiled though and he lifted his hand to trace along her eyebrow then delicately down her face past cheek and lip to her chin. He thumbed her mouth. “You happy?”

  “Mmm. I am. I like us together, just… When are we cleaning up?” Mess bugged her. If only the apocalypse had more showers, and hadn’t she vowed to remedy this last time? She began to rise and they both snagged her and pulled her flat.

  “Soon.” They both said in unison, and she gave in, stayed quiet.

  This was a good time to just be together. There might not be a lot of quiet and wonderful times like this once they reached the Radiation Zone. She had a question about that and Maura. Beasters had been proven radiation resistant in the past, and so she was likely that too, but what about humans like Maura?

  Ask later. For now, be grateful for what she had.

  Chapter 14

  As was often the case, Cyn found Willow doing important leader-type stuff. Where the floor had fractured away near a stairwell, she was sighting downward through binoculars and helping direct the route. Her blue hair made the biotechie easy to find, as did the winged Mads beside her, and Toother the faithful nanodog. She’d never ridden Toother and that seemed to suit them both fine. Orm had once dreamed of a cavalry of nanodogs and their riders but with no one else sharing his vision, that was unlikely to ever happen.

  Cyn picked her way closer to the trio.

  This close to the Rad Zone where a missile had exploded, the buildings were spattered with holes, dust, and debris, and were partially collapsed. There was no real edge here. The Edge where the quarter ended had crumbled. It was an area of devastation, but Ground Floor was within reach. For some, this was a frightening prospect. After surviving in the relatively untouched upper stories of the scrapers, with canned food in most cupboards, clean sheets on a hundred thousand empty beds, and with water to be found in every second apartment along with weapons, books, and a dozen random luxuries, they had a fear of the wilderness.

  Down there your boots rested upon concrete that rested on actual soil.

  Descending deeper after Ground Floor meant entering the bowels of the world.

  What if the rumors of packs of feral nanodogs were true?

  What if the Ghoul Lords had spread lies and were waiting for them?

  The true ground of Earth had become their boogie man and the place where monsters dwelled. Her friends who made up this convoy would’ve been thought monsters back in the days before the invasion. Friends. Cyn let a smile curve her mouth. After days of travel, when she did nothing terrible most had been reassured. They’d seen her current weakness before the Lure, and of course Vargr and Rutger treated her like she was their sexy goddess.

  She’d shaken hands with or listened to more than a few of them, had breakfast chats where they’d apologized for thinking her mad or dangerous. Though mad and dangerous had its plusses. She eyed the minute trail of red scales winding up her arm. Who’d ever heard of a red mermaid?

  Maybe mad and dangerous was her destiny? Dealing with evil demanded unconventional actions and doing things in ways that no one else could imagine. These beasters too were unconventional to extremes. They could change this world. She needed posters saying things like Kill a Ghoul Lord, Save the World.

  Willow remained at the top of the wrecked stairwell where the pretty glass-and-iron railing guarding the edge was either missing or dangling over the space of the stairwell.

  “I have a concern, Willow. Is there time to speak to me?”

  “Sure.” She swung, smiling, and held out her hand. “Let’s go over here. Mads will take care of everything for a while.” She tossed her partner the binoculars. “What’s the problem?”

  “It’s Maura. I’ve heard that beasters never suffer from radiation sickness?”

  “Well, no one has tested that to the fullest by going into the middle of anything like this.” She gestured toward where the destruction was worst, and the scrapers were piles of rubble.

  “No, but it’s based on observed fact, right?”

  “Yes.”

  She kicked a rock out past what was left of a wall, watched it spiral down and out of sight. “Maura is human. How will we protect her?”

  “We’ve begun already. She’s taking iodine tablets. I check her daily. I found in the past that I could cure radiation sickness in humans, if it was caught early. We can’t get her a radiation proof suit, but I’m informed that breathing in the dust and eating contaminated food is one of the easiest ways to get high doses, so once we reach Ground, we’ll be fetching her a vehicle, sealing it, and going through the Rad Zone fast. Toother and some of the beasters will tow it if we haven’t a fueled-up functioning engine. She’ll come out once a day only, for a brief period, then back in again.”

  “How long will that be?”

  “Two days. We hope. Three perhaps.”

  “Okay. Good.” There was nothing more that could be done then. She frowned and offered Willow her hand to shake. “I want to say sorry for thinking you a bad person for being my judge that day.”

  “I see.” She looked at Cyn’s hand then reached over and shook it firmly. “I think we owe each other an apology.” Then she grinned. “I’m glad you did this. You are so very much a part of this endeavor. We will make it through because of you. I’m certain of it.”

  A lump formed in her throat. How had she ever thought this woman awful? Those words had pricked tears to her eyes and made her feel both humble and welcome. “Thanks, Willow.”

  She should say more but was lost as to what or how, and she contented herself with just looking happy.

  A few hours later, on the way down that staircase, she went blind.

  She gasped. Her stomach flip-flopped.

  This was not from dust or lack of light or anything she cou
ld make sense of. A cloud had descended and wiped out her vision. She felt for a wall, found nothing, and had to lower herself to the stairs and pray nobody would knock her over the edge. Vertigo was affecting her too with the unseen world out there swaying, spinning, and making her dizzy.

  Little Mo chose that moment to clatter up and touch her arm. “I detect oncoming stinkers, Miss Cyn.”

  “Fuck!” She clutched her head and tried to think. “Alert everyone, Mo.” She gulped down nausea. “Stinkers are coming!” Mo ran off saying the warning as loudly as his speakers would accommodate.

  People heard him and shouted it too, and ahead she heard curses then the first sounds of guns firing. The shooting came closer, ascending the stairs.

  And she was helpless. Without sight she was nothing. Maybe she’d just lost the night vision that beasters had? Maybe if she waited there’d be some light?

  “What’s wrong, Cyn?” Vargr asked and she heard him lower himself to her right.

  “I can’t see anything.”

  “Okay. Okay.” He clasped her shoulder. “Stay there. Everything is in hand. Who’s going ahead, Rutger? She can’t see. You or me?”

  She didn’t hear the answer properly, but Vargr clearly stayed and she heard the creak of leather as he unholstered a weapon or two. “It’s all fine. They’re handling this.”

  The noises of fighting continued for another minute at least, and it felt like an eternity, even though she’d been counting under her breath.

  “Seems to be all done. I can’t see any wounded, just two dead stinkers below us. Here.” He rose and pulled at her arm, hauling her up. “Still nothing?”

  “No.” She shook her head, resting her hand on his hip, maybe, some part of him. She wobbled for a second, and again her equilibrium lurched and made it feel as if she were on a storm-tossed ship’s deck. Without any visual clues, balancing was difficult.

  They waited awhile longer and shouts came up the stairs announcing that below was safe.

  “Let’s go slow… Wait. I’ll fly you down.”

  At that he scooped her up, settled her in his arms and launched. The rush of air told her they were moving, though there was no change in shadow or light, even when she fully opened her eyes. That was the scariest. She might be strong and determined, but without eyes she was useless. She shut them again, scared that something would hit her eyes when she couldn’t see it coming.

  The voices grew louder and there was a bump or two and a shuffle of boots as Vargr landed. He lowered her to her feet, keeping hold of her waist.

  “All good down here?”

  “Yes.” That was Rutger’s voice. “How are you, Cyn?”

  “Blind.” She frowned, swallowed, hating this. “I don’t know why,” she added, pre-empting any questions about how this had happened. “It just went from one second to the next.”

  “I’m going to find Willow. Here, hold Rutger’s hand.”

  She heard Vargr walk away. Willow was her best hope, she supposed. Some solution must be possible?

  “There’s a seat over here. This used to be an office, but the wall’s been blown apart. Let’s sit.”

  With Rutger leading her over, she found the seat. Sitting down again felt so impossibly stupid, so pathetic, so… “I hate this.”

  “Open your eyes. Let me look at them.”

  She opened them, trying to be nonchalant yet knowing he was looking, and she still saw nothing.

  “You can’t see me?”

  “No. Nothing.”

  Blind in the middle of this upside-down dangerous world. Lord. She had to fix this. Or she’d die, or end up being led around on a rope. Cyn pressed her fingers to her temple and massaged.

  “Okay.” The seat creaked. “I’ll tell you what happened. Five stinkers came running in. None of us got a single wound. We killed three and two ran off. Which is unusual. They generally keep attacking for longer. Run off only after they’ve stabbed at a few of us or tried hard to.”

  “Hmmm.” She strived to think this through but was too busy worrying about her eyes.

  “Willow is talking to Vargr now. She was higher up the stairs than you, only just arrived.”

  She knew this.

  “It was pretty awesome,” he continued. “Those electric bolts whizzing about from Kiko’s gun as well as bullets, us taking them down like they were mosquitoes. Wing-soldiers taking off and firing from above. Vincent grabbed one that was likely already a goner and smacked it into a wall, then someone blew more holes in it. Perfect pandemonium, but good skills. We killed it. Fucking killed it.”

  The satisfaction in his voice was obvious.

  “So don’t worry about being absent.”

  She made a noise that she hoped showed some appreciation.

  With the softest voice he added, almost as if to himself, “They know not the power in their hands. Are these the new gods we were looking for?”

  She lowered her head as if to look at her hands. Rutger was Worshipper Quarter, but she’d never thought him serious about that Doctrine of Logical Gods. What he’d said was sacrilegious, surely, and presumptuous but also strangely… logical.

  A few minutes later, a whole lot of people were assembling around her, discussing her, asking her questions then deferring to Rutger or Vargr or Willow.

  “I’m not brainless!” she snapped after trying to not be affected by being turned into an object so readily. “I can’t see, that’s all. What can we do about it, and who is here?”

  Rutger was still beside her. “There’s Willow, me, Vargr, and a few others like Maura, who are concerned about what has happened to you.” He clicked his fingers, and she heard movement. “Most are going to step away now to give you some privacy.” He waited a moment then continued, “Everyone else is off doing other things. Checking the perimeter and so on. This area is secure, Cyn. And so, people, what are we doing?”

  “I am…” Willow spoke up, calmly, from very nearby, and she put her hand on Cyn’s arm, “I’m going to examine you again. I’ll sit on the other side of you. I want to see what those little red nanomachines of yours are up to.”

  Nothing good, she guessed. “Sure.” She rested her back against the seat and told herself to calm down, to let Willow do her biotechie thing.

  Willow’s cool hands and the close-to-inaudible whispering she did was oddly comforting, as was the settling of a heavy stillness about them, with the only other sounds being distant and in the background.

  She said nothing and mentally counted out the seconds. The unbending precision of numbers helped her to stop worrying, and soon her heartbeat slowed and thudded less emphatically.

  “Okay. I’m done,” Willow told her, lifting away her hands. “I’ve done as thorough an examination as I can. This time I was really careful, and I found a few nanites in your head area. They might be new, even. Mostly in your eyes, but that’s to be expected with the red in them. The problem is, I’m not medically trained.”

  “And?” That had not sounded as if Willow was sure of any diagnosis. “Can you see why I’ve lost my sight?”

  She sighed. “No. Once again I can’t detect anything wrong, apart from the low nanites up top.”

  Fuck.

  “What I am going to do is talk to as many as I can who have some medical training.”

  “There’s Vincent. The rockman. He was a paramedic or a nurse,” Vargr suggested.

  She should’ve thought of him herself, although… “What could he tell us, when he doesn’t have anything to go on? No facts.”

  “I don’t know, Cyn.” Willow patted her hand. “But I will ask him. Sometimes you don’t know, what you don’t know.”

  “I’ll go with you to talk.” Again that was Vargr.

  She was feeling left out and needed to contribute something. Cyn caught her lip in her teeth and thought. “What about Maura? If this is the nanites misbehaving, might she know something?”

  “Yes. That’s also a good idea.” From the sounds Willow had moved away. “I want to m
ake it clear that you are very important to me, and to us. To all of us. And I may not have any training, but there have been too many problems. To me, you seem ill, even if I don’t know why or how.”

  “And yet Cyn can heal anything?” Vincent was here. He sounded puzzled, which didn’t surprise her.

  She raised her head, trying to track where he was. “I had thought so, yes.” Wrong, however.

  “Okay. I’m going to talk this through with Vincent and whoever comes forward, see if there is anyone else with ideas. We will camp here and start looking for a car to put Maura in. Rutger, you can take care of Cyn?”

  So this was Ground Floor? She’d not realized with all the fuss.

  And there was Willow doing her organizing, only this time she, herself, was a cog in the wheel and could do nothing. She stood and waited for Rutger to find her and guide her.

  She must get better. Had to.

  Blessedly, she did improve. By the time camp was set up and a car had been pulled in from a roadway, she could see light and movement. An hour later she was even better.

  She stayed awake while others slept, with Rutger and Vargr to either side among the sleeping bags they’d laid out. By dusk her vision was perfect.

  The relief was such that she’d cried lying there, staring up at the stairwell they’d descended, watching the dust materialize and float down through the muted sunlight. Light that’d dared to find a way in through the punctured walls.

  “I can see,” she told Vargr when he stirred, and he smiled and hugged her.

  Rutger woke and joined him, slapping both her and Vargr on the back. “Hell, yeah.”

  “Now we just have to figure out why it happened.” Vargr wriggled out from the embrace and stood. “I know Willow has been racking her brains. She’s like a terrier.”

  “For me?”

  “Of course for you.” Rutger edged her top higher up her shoulders, readjusted the fall of the long shirt where it reached her butt. “You’re the star of this show. Don’t you know?”