Two Fates

by Kari Gregg

  A bead of sweat dripped down Kenneth’s temple when he stared at Jamie, the tense clench of his jaw speaking volumes of his care and consideration for this, their first tie. “All right?” he asked, his voice low and throaty. The words sounded more like the growl of his beast than the query of a man anxious for the wellbeing of his beloved.

  “Haven’t felt this all right in years,” Jamie panted, clenching his ass cheeks to test Kenneth’s girth and length inside him. He sucked in a labored breath, trembling with lust. “Move.”

  Thank Goddess, Kenneth must have reached the end of his frustrating caution because after he gradually slid his hips back, dragging his cock out of Jamie’s ass until the head alone teased the stretched ring of Jamie’s hole, he stabbed back into Jamie with such force, Jamie’s eyes rolled in his sockets with his pleasure. The bed rocked, headboard thudding against their den walls, the clamor competing with Kenneth’s triumphant snarls. Kenneth fucked him, both giving and demanding passion with his every quickening thrust.

  Jamie’s body rocked in time with Kenneth’s dick thrusting into him, the tingle in his ass intensifying. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. He knew only Kenneth’s touch, his possession, the untamable ecstasy of his mate’s cock shepherding him into madness. He writhed, pumping his ass to meet Kenneth, overwhelmed by the storm of delight they created together.

  When Kenneth struck, bending over Jamie’s sweaty body, mouth gaping to reveal the sharp canines of his wolf’s teeth, Jamie shouted equal parts pain and desperate, greedy joy. Kenneth bit down, his mouth fastening into the crook between Jamie’s neck and shoulder. Pain exploded within Jamie, but with it, also heady satisfaction. His blood trickled from the grip of Kenneth’s teeth and down his shoulder to his chest when Jamie stiffened, his vision going white as a second orgasm consumed him, obliterating everything else.

  Chapter Twelve

  THEY DIDN’T WIN the small reprieve of the night together in bed. Before dawn broke the horizon, pounding on the den door woke Kenneth and Jamie. Kenneth skated a kiss over the crown of Jamie’s head before yelling, “I’m coming.” Untangling from Jamie’s embrace, Kenneth swung his legs over the side of the mattress as the knocking intensified instead of abating. “I said I’m coming.” Kenneth wrapped an extra quilt from the foot of the bed around his bare ass and turning on his side, Jamie watched him shuffle toward the door. Kenneth opened it a stingy crack.

  Had Jamie wanted, he could’ve listened to the furtive whispering, but heart heavy, he heeded instead the steady beat of Kenneth’s heart resounding in his mind. Burrowing deeper into the covers of their mating bed, he enjoyed the warm dead weight of his own body. He winced, his ass predictably tender. He hadn’t bottomed for a while even preceding Ian’s death, but the minor hurt was nonetheless a wonder to him, like he felt the indelible stamp of Kenneth inside him still.

  He’d forgotten.

  Barely more than two summers after Ian’s passing, Jamie hadn’t recalled the bone-deep satisfaction of taxed muscles and the sweet lethargy that swept over him after mating. He only wished he could wallow in the afterglow of their lovemaking longer.

  He wished a lot of things.

  Wishes were luxuries Jamie could ill afford, though. Kenneth turned from the door with a quiet, “We’re on the way.” He shut the world out with a quiet click and turned to lean against the door, the quilt still clenched at his abdomen.

  The dim light of the banked fire that provided heat now that summer had begun slipping into fall couldn’t hide the warm sparkle in his gaze, nor the slow bunching of his shoulders as he stared at Jamie.

  Jamie hated the encroaching tenseness, the wary guard that crept into Kenneth. He didn’t know what he felt for Kenneth yet. Couldn’t know. All that mattered was reassuring Kenneth that he had no reason to be cautious, not with Jamie. Not anymore. Jamie blew out a long breath. “Da must have sensed our mating.”

  “He’s been waiting for us.” Kenneth’s shoulders relaxed. “Though drugged and disoriented, he would’ve stayed alert to any sign we’d tied. He’s survived months beyond what any of us, including the human physicians, believed he could, but he’s ready to rejoin your mother.”

  Emotion clogging his throat, Jamie nodded. “I’ll dress.”

  Kenneth lit a lantern and they dragged clean clothes on, Jamie from the crate he still hadn’t completely unpacked and Kenneth from a trunk at the foot of their bed. Frowning at Jamie’s threadbare shirt, Kenneth bent to grope inside the trunk. He retrieved a bunch of fabric, which he tossed to Jamie. “Autumn may not have arrived quite yet, but nights can be chilly. Please don’t argue. Wear it.”

  Unwinding the bundle, Jamie stifled a sigh, but didn’t balk at pulling one of Kenneth’s shirts over his head and shoving his arms into the sleeves. Fortunately, he and Kenneth were near the same size, with Kenneth only a tad broader through the shoulders. The soft sweatshirt draped loosely, but not so much he had to do more than shove the cuffs of the sleeves up his forearms. Trusting Kenneth’s judgment on the cool air outside, Jamie tugged on his lone pair of blue jeans—pants that had cost him an entire sack of beads four winters ago. He’d patched a tear in the left knee with a scrap of hide he’d tanned last summer, but other than that, the sturdy denim was in acceptable shape.

  “You need new clothes.” Kenneth glowered at him as Jamie bent to slip on his moccasins. “At least a decent pair of shoes.”

  “You’ve noticed the kids have switched to mocs in the dry season?” Jamie straightened, frowning when Kenneth glared at him. “Resources are scarce and our pack has been wearing moccasins throughout the summer for generations, when we bother with shoes at all. Moccasins are comfortable, cooler on hot feet than tennis shoes, and easier to produce and replace.”

  Kenneth curled his lip in a snarl he quickly stifled. “Do you want to have this argument right now?”

  Jamie arched an eyebrow. “Do you?”

  Growling foul temper, Kenneth pushed off the door and crossed the cabin to snatch Jamie’s hand in his vise-like grip. When Kenneth tugged, Jamie followed. “C’mon,” Kenneth said, unnecessarily.

  The moon hugged the horizon, the dim glow lighting the path to Da’s den. Kenneth had built his own cabin close to Da’s for convenience’s sake. Jamie heard the low rumble of the gathered pack before he saw the flickering oranges and yellows of their bonfire in the alpha’s front yard and the figures collecting around it. Jamie’s nerves jittered. Every man, woman, and child in the territory would have assembled to mark Da’s passing, but that anxiety paled against the turmoil roiling within Jamie at losing his father. He’d pushed Kenneth into tying specifically to give Da relief from his pain, but that didn’t make the end easier. Tethered to Kenneth, who marched steadily from the woods and into the front yard, Jamie accompanied Kenneth spearing through the crowd. He kept his head down, his body curling inward to avoid brushing against the others if he possibly could.

  Stomach churning, he climbed the steps of the front porch and wondered if he’d make a mistake. If he and Kenneth hadn’t tied, if Jamie’d had more time, perhaps he could’ve forged peace with his father instead of the tense cessation of hostility they’d achieved. Maybe Jamie could have mustered the courage to truly forgive Da.

  Sensing Jamie’s mounting distress through their strengthening link, Kenneth squeezed Jamie’s hand in his grasp, his gaze warm and supportive. “I’m here.”

  Shivering, Jamie nodded. It shouldn’t have been enough to slay Jamie’s dragons and it wasn’t. No one could resolve Jamie’s struggle with himself except Jamie, but knowing Kenneth was at his side lent Jamie the fortitude to walk through the door Kenneth swung open for him.

  With only the glimmer of coals in the hearth, the inside of the cabin was darker than the yard, but Jamie didn’t need his eyes to recognize Lisa pushing into his arms as soon as he and Kenneth entered Da’s den. Her tears wet his throat as Jamie tugged her close, planting an affectionate kiss atop her head. Her belly, swollen with child, pressed against Jam
ie and he gasped at a hard kick he felt from the babe she carried. “Shh, it’s all right. Da’s ready, more than ready. He misses Momma and only wants to be with her again,” he mumbled into his sister’s hair. “Don’t cry. Please don’t. You’re upsetting your daughter.”

  Lisa grabbed his sweatshirt and rucked up the material to wipe her cheeks. “How’d you know she’s a girl?” she muttered, still sobbing.

  Jamie smiled down at his sister. “She kicked me.”

  Hiccupping a laugh, Lisa tipped her chin up. “Boys don’t kick?”

  “Not as hard as you used to. That girl is a fighter, like her Ma.”

  Lisa’s face crumpled. “She’s angry she won’t be able to meet her Grandpop.”

  Heart melting, Jamie tugged his sister closer and bent to murmur in the shell of her ear. “If she’s a seer like you, she’s already met him aplenty. His pain is ending, Lisa, and he’ll be with Momma again. Think of that instead of the loss. Imagine him happy.”

  “I am.” With a final squeeze, she released Jamie. “He is too.” Stepping back, she scrubbed again at her face. “Happy, that is.” She beamed at Jamie, her eyes red from crying even in the darkness of the den. “He isn’t always lucid, but when he rouses, he’s proud of you, Jay. Proud and glad he managed to give you and Kenneth time to make a better start to your relationship. Try to remember the pain he endured to be a good father to you at the end, okay?”

  With raw grief choking him, he couldn’t speak so he nodded.

  When Lisa released him, Kenneth let go of his hand to settle a comforting palm at his nape. “We’ll see you after,” Kenneth told her.

  Gaze never leaving Jamie, Lisa patted his cheek. “After,” she agreed.

  Once she slipped through the screen door to join the rest of the pack in the yard, Jamie had no more excuse. The pack healer fussed at the tubes and beeping machines that kept his father comfortable, but stayed out of their way when Kenneth slowly walked Jamie to Da’s bedside. Someone had pushed a rocking chair next to the bed and at Kenneth’s urging, Jamie dropped bonelessly into it. When he reached for Da’s hand, threading their fingers together, Da blinked twice, then slowly opened his eyes. He curved his lips. “I’d hoped to last longer,” he whispered, voice thready and weak. “I wanted to give you and Kenneth the most solid footing as mates as I could before the demands of leadership intruded, but…I’m tired.” He coughed. “Missing your mother is an ache that makes the cancer killing me like a stubbed toe.”

  “You gave us years.” Jamie swallowed the knot in his throat. “I never gave you credit for that, but I do appreciate it. Thank you.”

  “Didn’t do it to win your gratitude.”

  “Frank—” Kenneth said, voice low and worried.

  “Did it as recompense, to make up for being a lousy father to you, for the terrible decisions I made, and the hurt I caused.” Da sighed, his breath rattling in his chest. “I don’t think I can go, that I can rest, unless you forgive me. Not for my sake. Do it for yourself. Don’t carry that anger anymore. That’s what troubles me most, the rage my mistakes provoked that’s still eating you up inside.”

  “I’m not mad,” Jamie murmured and it was true. Broken-hearted, disappointed, lonely, yes, but he wasn’t furious, at least not right then.

  “We hurt you. I did.” His father’s eyes glimmered with sad regret. “You lash out because of it, but that rage will burn through the best parts of you until there’s nothing left except hate.”

  Jamie couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t even claim that didn’t worry him too, but…He had Kenneth. Their mating was new. A lot could still go wrong between them, not least of which the attack of the mountain cat Lisa had foreseen, but being with Kenneth was a step toward the future, rather than clinging to a dead, embittered past. “I’m trying.”

  Da nodded, then focused on Kenneth. “I won’t ask you to take care of Jamie. My son can take care of himself.”

  Kenneth squeezed Jamie’s hand in his grip. “He’s strong. Independent.”

  “More than for his own good sometimes.” Da cackled. “I’ll ask you to support him instead. Be there for him as he grows into his proper role in the pack.” His fingers moved restlessly on the quilt draped over his emaciated frame. “Don’t give up on him.”

  Kenneth gulped. “I won’t.”

  “He can become so much more. His mother and sister have both seen it. He’s important, not only to this pack, but to all of us, shifters everywhere.”

  “I don’t care about history or the future of shifters as a whole.” Kenneth shuffled his weight from foot to foot. “I care about him.”

  Ripping his attention from Da, Jamie stared at Kenneth. His heartbeat trebled. “I care for you too.” He lowered his gaze. “More than I want to care. Scares me.”

  “Mating scares everybody.” When Jamie peeped at Kenneth beneath his lashes, Jamie’s mate flashed a sad smile. “If love didn’t scare you, it wouldn’t be real.”

  “Ain’t that the truth.” Da squinted in the dim light as he focused on Kenneth. “Don’t give up on my Jamie,” he repeated.

  Kenneth lifted his chin. “Never.”

  “He’s nothing but trouble—”

  “Hey,” Jamie objected.

  “—but he’s worth the trials he’ll cause you and the hardships you’ll inflict on him too.” Da relaxed into the bed, the fingers holding Jamie’s already weakening. “Love is always worth the pain. I forgot that once, years ago.” Da stared, unblinking, at Jamie.

  Who choked down a broken sob.

  “I never doubted or forgot again. Love each other. Hold onto what you feel. Nurture it. Protect it. In the end, love is all we have and it’s…” His shoulders sagged, a prolonged breath escaping from his chest. “Love is everything.”

  His eyes slid shut.

  He didn’t die right away. The sun rose. Other pack members entered the den to stand next to Jamie, to say a few words of goodbye, but Da didn’t rouse again. Outside, the bustle of pack families distributing food for breakfast and then lunch disrupted the quiet of the death watch. Lisa dragged another rocking chair next to Jamie’s at some point with a whispered “I couldn’t stay away.” Lisa hummed under her breath as her fingers industriously worked knitting needles despite the tears sliding down her cheeks.

  Kenneth never left Jamie’s side, his warm hand comforting on Jamie’s shoulder as Jamie prayed to the Goddess he wasn’t sure he believed in anymore for his father’s misery to be finished.

  When it came, when Da’s chest rose and fell the last time and then no more, Jamie wanted to feel relief. Fresh hurt filled him, replacing some of the emptiness hollowed out by bitterness and regret. Swallowing down his grief, Jamie squeezed and then patted his father’s frail hand before settling it over Da’s still chest. Lisa grasped for Jamie’s fingers and when he turned, she dove into his arms, the clatter of her knitting needles hitting the floorboards joining her mourning wail.

  Jamie rose from the rocking chair with Lisa held tightly to him and Kenneth circled around the chair to wrap the both of them in his embrace. “His suffering is over,” he murmured into Jamie’s ear, brushing a kiss at Jamie’s temple.

  The alpha was dead.

  Jamie’s father was dead.

  A single lonely and agonized howl shattered the sudden quiet, quickly joined by a second, then another and another. For Burnt Fork—for Jamie, Lisa, and Kenneth—life would never be the same.

  Kenneth must emerge to those waiting outside, console and reassure the pack.

  Regardless of his long absence from Burnt Fork, Jamie hadn’t grown the son of an alpha for nothing. He knew what must be done, what was expected and what he as well as Lisa would sacrifice. As dearly as he craved the warmth of his mate’s arms surrounding him, as much as he longed to shut out the world and grieve in peace, just the three of them, Kenneth owed a duty to the pack who had raised Jamie, accepted Kenneth, given their lives meaning and purpose.

  Slowly, reluctantly, Lisa’s arms dropped from Jamie
’s waist.

  Somehow Jamie managed to release Kenneth too.

  Shuddering out a shaky breath, Lisa nodded toward the door as she shuffled closer to the hospital bed. “Go on. I’ll be out as soon as I’ve sung him into the next world.”

  “Lisa, no.” Jamie’s heart broke. “Let someone else do it.”

  “I’m pack seer. Once Momma died, pleas for blessings from the Goddess over those who pass didn’t become my responsibility. It’s my privilege. I sang for Momma. No reason I can’t sing Da into the everlasting too.” Trembling, she raked back her hair from her face. “Mine is the last voice he’ll hear on his way. There’s comfort in that. Go on,” she said, giving Jamie a gentle shove. “You’ve obligations too.”

  Stomach churning, Jamie accepted the arm Kenneth slung over his shoulder and followed when Kenneth guided him to the den door.

  When they walked through it, the crowd of howling shifters that filled Da’s front yard quieted and turned to Kenneth expectantly. Kenneth cleared his throat, stiffening his spine while he studied them, meeting each of their gazes one by one. “Frank has gone on,” he finally said, voice loud and strong belying the shaking of Kenneth’s hand gripping Jamie. “Two of your own seers in Burnt Fork and a third from my birth pack in Oregon’s Crooked Hollow territory foretold that the Goddess had appointed me to stand for Frank after he died.” He nodded to Jamie. “With his son at my side.”

  Buzzing filled Jamie’s ears. The comparative brightness outside grayed. He held his breath, locking his knees so he wouldn’t tumble to the ground, but thank the Goddess, when Jamie’s frantic glance swept the pack, he saw no proudly lifted chins nor glints of challenge.

  Instead, he saw naked hope.

  “Will any defy the will of the Goddess?”

  As one, the mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, the old and small children, lifted their faces to the sun and loosed a howl, the sound not empty and aching as the mourning wail when Da had breathed his last. The pain of their alpha’s passing couldn’t be erased, nor should his memory be. The wolf song also resounded with that hurt, but high-pitched yips and barks interspersed with the welcoming howl. The pack greeted their new alpha with their joy at the new mixed in with mourning their united loss.