by E. Nesbit
CHAPTER 9. THE G. B.
Being editors is not the best way to wealth. We all feel this now, andhighwaymen are not respected any more like they used to be.
I am sure we had tried our best to restore our fallen fortunes. We felttheir fall very much, because we knew the Bastables had been rich once.Dora and Oswald can remember when Father was always bringing nice thingshome from London, and there used to be turkeys and geese and wine andcigars come by the carrier at Christmas-time, and boxes of candied fruitand French plums in ornamental boxes with silk and velvet and gildingon them. They were called prunes, but the prunes you buy at the grocer'sare quite different. But now there is seldom anything nice brought fromLondon, and the turkey and the prune people have forgotten Father'saddress.
'How _can_ we restore those beastly fallen fortunes?' said Oswald.'We've tried digging and writing and princesses and being editors.'
'And being bandits,' said H. O.
'When did you try that?' asked Dora quickly. 'You know I told you it waswrong.'
'It wasn't wrong the way we did it,' said Alice, quicker still, beforeOswald could say, 'Who asked you to tell us anything about it?'which would have been rude, and he is glad he didn't. 'We only caughtAlbert-next-door.'
'Oh, Albert-next-door!' said Dora contemptuously, and I felt morecomfortable; for even after I didn't say, 'Who asked you, and cetera,'I was afraid Dora was going to come the good elder sister over us. Shedoes that a jolly sight too often.
Dicky looked up from the paper he was reading and said, 'This soundslikely,' and he read out--
'L100 secures partnership in lucrative business for sale of useful patent. L10 weekly. No personal attendance necessary. Jobbins, 300, Old Street Road.'
'I wish we could secure that partnership,' said Oswald. He is twelve,and a very thoughtful boy for his age.
Alice looked up from her painting. She was trying to paint a fairyqueen's frock with green bice, and it wouldn't rub. There is somethingfunny about green bice. It never will rub off; no matter how expensiveyour paintbox is--and even boiling water is very little use.
She said, 'Bother the bice! And, Oswald, it's no use thinking aboutthat. Where are we to get a hundred pounds?'
'Ten pounds a week is five pounds to us,' Oswald went on--he had donethe sum in his head while Alice was talking--'because partnership meanshalves. It would be A1.'
Noel sat sucking his pencil--he had been writing poetry as usual. I sawthe first two lines--
I wonder why Green Bice Is never very nice.
Suddenly he said, 'I wish a fairy would come down the chimney and drop ajewel on the table--a jewel worth just a hundred pounds.'
'She might as well give you the hundred pounds while she was about it,'said Dora.
'Or while she was about it she might as well give us five pounds aweek,' said Alice.
'Or fifty,' said I.
'Or five hundred,' said Dicky.
I saw H. O. open his mouth, and I knew he was going to say, 'Or fivethousand,' so I said--
'Well, she won't give us fivepence, but if you'd only do as I am alwayssaying, and rescue a wealthy old gentleman from deadly peril he wouldgive us a pot of money, and we could have the partnership and fivepounds a week. Five pounds a week would buy a great many things.'
Then Dicky said, 'Why shouldn't we borrow it?' So we said, 'Who from?'and then he read this out of the paper--
MONEY PRIVATELY WITHOUT FEES THE BOND STREET BANK Manager, Z. Rosenbaum.
Advances cash from L20 to L10,000 on ladies' or gentlemen's note of hand alone, without security. No fees. No inquiries. Absolute privacy guaranteed.
'What does it all mean?' asked H. O.
'It means that there is a kind gentleman who has a lot of money, and hedoesn't know enough poor people to help, so he puts it in the paperthat he will help them, by lending them his money--that's it, isn't it,Dicky?'
Dora explained this and Dicky said, 'Yes.' And H. O. said he was aGenerous Benefactor, like in Miss Edgeworth. Then Noel wanted to knowwhat a note of hand was, and Dicky knew that, because he had read it ina book, and it was just a letter saying you will pay the money when youcan, and signed with your name.
'No inquiries!' said Alice. 'Oh--Dicky--do you think he would?'
'Yes, I think so,' said Dicky. 'I wonder Father doesn't go to this kindgentleman. I've seen his name before on a circular in Father's study.'
'Perhaps he has.' said Dora.
But the rest of us were sure he hadn't, because, of course, if he had,there would have been more money to buy nice things. Just then Pincherjumped up and knocked over the painting-water. He is a very carelessdog. I wonder why painting-water is always such an ugly colour? Dora ranfor a duster to wipe it up, and H. O. dropped drops of the water on hishands and said he had got the plague. So we played at the plague for abit, and I was an Arab physician with a bath-towel turban, and curedthe plague with magic acid-drops. After that it was time for dinner, andafter dinner we talked it all over and settled that we would go and seethe Generous Benefactor the very next day. But we thought perhaps the G.B.--it is short for Generous Benefactor--would not like it if there wereso many of us. I have often noticed that it is the worst of our beingsix--people think six a great many, when it's children. That sentencelooks wrong somehow. I mean they don't mind six pairs of boots, or sixpounds of apples, or six oranges, especially in equations, but theyseem to think you ought not to have five brothers and sisters. Of courseDicky was to go, because it was his idea. Dora had to go to Blackheathto see an old lady, a friend of Father's, so she couldn't go. Alicesaid _she_ ought to go, because it said, 'Ladies _and_ gentlemen,' andperhaps the G. B. wouldn't let us have the money unless there were bothkinds of us.
H. O. said Alice wasn't a lady; and she said _he_ wasn't going, anyway.Then he called her a disagreeable cat, and she began to cry.
But Oswald always tries to make up quarrels, so he said--
'You're little sillies, both of you!'
And Dora said, 'Don't cry, Alice; he only meant you weren't a grown-uplady.'
Then H. O. said, 'What else did you think I meant, Disagreeable?'
So Dicky said, 'Don't be disagreeable yourself, H. O. Let her alone andsay you're sorry, or I'll jolly well make you!'
So H. O. said he was sorry. Then Alice kissed him and said she was sorrytoo; and after that H. O. gave her a hug, and said, 'Now I'm _really andtruly_ sorry,' So it was all right.
Noel went the last time any of us went to London, so he was out of it,and Dora said she would take him to Blackheath if we'd take H. O. So asthere'd been a little disagreeableness we thought it was better to takehim, and we did. At first we thought we'd tear our oldest things a bitmore, and put some patches of different colours on them, to show theG. B. how much we wanted money. But Dora said that would be a sortof cheating, pretending we were poorer than we are. And Dora is rightsometimes, though she is our elder sister. Then we thought we'd betterwear our best things, so that the G. B. might see we weren't so verypoor that he couldn't trust us to pay his money back when we had it. ButDora said that would be wrong too. So it came to our being quite honest,as Dora said, and going just as we were, without even washing our facesand hands; but when I looked at H. O. in the train I wished we had notbeen quite so particularly honest.
Every one who reads this knows what it is like to go in the train, so Ishall not tell about it--though it was rather fun, especially the partwhere the guard came for the tickets at Waterloo, and H. O. was underthe seat and pretended to be a dog without a ticket. We went to CharingCross, and we just went round to Whitehall to see the soldiers and thenby St James's for the same reason--and when we'd looked in the shops abit we got to Brook Street, Bond Street. It was a brass plate on adoor next to a shop--a very grand place, where they sold bonnets andhats--all very bright and smart, and no tickets on them to tell youthe price. We rang a bell and a boy opened the door and we asked for MrRosenbaum. The boy was not polite; he did not ask
us in. So then Dickygave him his visiting card; it was one of Father's really, but thename is the same, Mr Richard Bastable, and we others wrote our namesunderneath. I happened to have a piece of pink chalk in my pocket and wewrote them with that.
Then the boy shut the door in our faces and we waited on the step. Butpresently he came down and asked our business. So Dicky said--
'Money advanced, young shaver! and don't be all day about it!'
And then he made us wait again, till I was quite stiff in my legs, butAlice liked it because of looking at the hats and bonnets, and at lastthe door opened, and the boy said--
'Mr Rosenbaum will see you,' so we wiped our feet on the mat, which saidso, and we went up stairs with soft carpets and into a room. It was abeautiful room. I wished then we had put on our best things, or at leastwashed a little. But it was too late now.
The room had velvet curtains and a soft, soft carpet, and it was fullof the most splendid things. Black and gold cabinets, and china, andstatues, and pictures. There was a picture of a cabbage and a pheasantand a dead hare that was just like life, and I would have given worldsto have it for my own. The fur was so natural I should never have beentired of looking at it; but Alice liked the one of the girl withthe broken jug best. Then besides the pictures there were clocks andcandlesticks and vases, and gilt looking-glasses, and boxes of cigarsand scent and things littered all over the chairs and tables. It was awonderful place, and in the middle of all the splendour was a little oldgentleman with a very long black coat and a very long white beard and ahookey nose--like a falcon. And he put on a pair of gold spectacles andlooked at us as if he knew exactly how much our clothes were worth.
And then, while we elder ones were thinking how to begin, for we hadall said 'Good morning' as we came in, of course, H. O. began before wecould stop him. He said:
'Are you the G. B.?'
'The _what_?' said the little old gentleman.
'The G. B.,' said H. O., and I winked at him to shut up, but he didn'tsee me, and the G. B. did. He waved his hand at _me_ to shut up, so Ihad to, and H. O. went on--'It stands for Generous Benefactor.'
The old gentleman frowned. Then he said, 'Your Father sent you here, Isuppose?'
'No he didn't,' said Dicky. 'Why did you think so?'
The old gentleman held out the card, and I explained that we took thatbecause Father's name happens to be the same as Dicky's.
'Doesn't he know you've come?'
'No,' said Alice, 'we shan't tell him till we've got the partnership,because his own business worries him a good deal and we don't want tobother him with ours till it's settled, and then we shall give him halfour share.'
The old gentleman took off his spectacles and rumpled his hair with hishands, then he said, 'Then what _did_ you come for?'
'We saw your advertisement,' Dicky said, 'and we want a hundred poundson our note of hand, and my sister came so that there should be bothkinds of us; and we want it to buy a partnership with in the lucrativebusiness for sale of useful patent. No personal attendance necessary.'
'I don't think I quite follow you,' said the G. B. 'But one thing Ishould like settled before entering more fully into the matter: why didyou call me Generous Benefactor?'
'Well, you see,' said Alice, smiling at him to show she wasn'tfrightened, though I know really she was, awfully, 'we thought it was so_very_ kind of you to try to find out the poor people who want money andto help them and lend them your money.'
'Hum!' said the G. B. 'Sit down.'
He cleared the clocks and vases and candlesticks off some of the chairs,and we sat down. The chairs were velvety, with gilt legs. It was like aking's palace.
'Now,' he said, 'you ought to be at school, instead of thinking aboutmoney. Why aren't you?'
We told him that we should go to school again when Father could manageit, but meantime we wanted to do something to restore the fallenfortunes of the House of Bastable. And we said we thought the lucrativepatent would be a very good thing. He asked a lot of questions, and wetold him everything we didn't think Father would mind our telling, andat last he said--
'You wish to borrow money. When will you repay it?'
'As soon as we've got it, of course,' Dicky said.
Then the G. B. said to Oswald, 'You seem the eldest,' but I explained tohim that it was Dicky's idea, so my being eldest didn't matter. Then hesaid to Dicky--'You are a minor, I presume?'
Dicky said he wasn't yet, but he had thought of being a mining engineersome day, and going to Klondike.
'Minor, not miner,' said the G. B. 'I mean you're not of age?'
'I shall be in ten years, though,' said Dicky. 'Then you might repudiatethe loan,' said the G. B., and Dicky said 'What?'
Of course he ought to have said 'I beg your pardon. I didn't quite catchwhat you said'--that is what Oswald would have said. It is more politethan 'What.'
'Repudiate the loan,' the G. B repeated. 'I mean you might say you wouldnot pay me back the money, and the law could not compel you to do so.'
'Oh, well, if you think we're such sneaks,' said Dicky, and he gotup off his chair. But the G. B. said, 'Sit down, sit down; I was onlyjoking.'
Then he talked some more, and at last he said--'I don't advise you toenter into that partnership. It's a swindle. Many advertisements are.And I have not a hundred pounds by me to-day to lend you. But I willlend you a pound, and you can spend it as you like. And when you aretwenty-one you shall pay me back.'
'I shall pay you back long before that,' said Dicky. 'Thanks, awfully!And what about the note of hand?'
'Oh,' said the G. B., 'I'll trust to your honour. Between gentlemen, youknow--and ladies'--he made a beautiful bow to Alice--'a word is as goodas a bond.'
Then he took out a sovereign, and held it in his hand while he talkedto us. He gave us a lot of good advice about not going into businesstoo young, and about doing our lessons--just swatting a bit, on our ownhook, so as not to be put in a low form when we went back to school. Andall the time he was stroking the sovereign and looking at it as if hethought it very beautiful. And so it was, for it was a new one. Then atlast he held it out to Dicky, and when Dicky put out his hand for it theG. B. suddenly put the sovereign back in his pocket.
'No,' he said, 'I won't give you the sovereign. I'll give you fifteenshillings, and this nice bottle of scent. It's worth far more than thefive shillings I'm charging you for it. And, when you can, you shall payme back the pound, and sixty per cent interest--sixty per cent, sixtyper cent.'
'What's that?' said H. O.
The G. B. said he'd tell us that when we paid back the sovereign, butsixty per cent was nothing to be afraid of. He gave Dicky the money. Andthe boy was made to call a cab, and the G. B. put us in and shook handswith us all, and asked Alice to give him a kiss, so she did, and H. O.would do it too, though his face was dirtier than ever. The G. B. paidthe cabman and told him what station to go to, and so we went home.
That evening Father had a letter by the seven-o'clock post. And whenhe had read it he came up into the nursery. He did not look quite sounhappy as usual, but he looked grave.
'You've been to Mr Rosenbaum's,' he said.
So we told him all about it. It took a long time, and Father sat in thearmchair. It was jolly. He doesn't often come and talk to us now. He hasto spend all his time thinking about his business. And when we'd toldhim all about it he said--
'You haven't done any harm this time, children; rather good than harm,indeed. Mr Rosenbaum has written me a very kind letter.'
'Is he a friend of yours, Father?' Oswald asked. 'He is anacquaintance,' said my father, frowning a little, 'we have done somebusiness together. And this letter--' he stopped and then said: 'No;you didn't do any harm to-day; but I want you for the future not to doanything so serious as to try to buy a partnership without consultingme, that's all. I don't want to interfere with your plays and pleasures;but you will consult me about business matters, won't you?'
Of course we said we should be delighted, but then Alice,
who wassitting on his knee, said, 'We didn't like to bother you.'
Father said, 'I haven't much time to be with you, for my business takesmost of my time. It is an anxious business--but I can't bear to think ofyour being left all alone like this.'
He looked so sad we all said we liked being alone. And then he lookedsadder than ever.
Then Alice said, 'We don't mean that exactly, Father. It is ratherlonely sometimes, since Mother died.'
Then we were all quiet a little while. Father stayed with us till wewent to bed, and when he said good night he looked quite cheerful. So wetold him so, and he said--
'Well, the fact is, that letter took a weight off my mind.' I can'tthink what he meant--but I am sure the G. B. would be pleased if hecould know he had taken a weight off somebody's mind. He is that sort ofman, I think.
We gave the scent to Dora. It is not quite such good scent as we thoughtit would be, but we had fifteen shillings--and they were all good, so isthe G. B.
And until those fifteen shillings were spent we felt almost as jolly asthough our fortunes had been properly restored. You do not notice yourgeneral fortune so much, as long as you have money in your pocket. Thisis why so many children with regular pocket-money have never feltit their duty to seek for treasure. So, perhaps, our not havingpocket-money was a blessing in disguise. But the disguise was quiteimpenetrable, like the villains' in the books; and it seemed still moreso when the fifteen shillings were all spent. Then at last the othersagreed to let Oswald try his way of seeking for treasure, but they werenot at all keen about it, and many a boy less firm than Oswald wouldhave chucked the whole thing. But Oswald knew that a hero must rely onhimself alone. So he stuck to it, and presently the others saw theirduty, and backed him up.
