by E. Nesbit
CHAPTER 10. LORD TOTTENHAM
Oswald is a boy of firm and unswerving character, and he had neverwavered from his first idea. He felt quite certain that the books wereright, and that the best way to restore fallen fortunes was to rescue anold gentleman in distress. Then he brings you up as his own son: butif you preferred to go on being your own father's son I expect the oldgentleman would make it up to you some other way. In the books the leastthing does it--you put up the railway carriage window--or you pick uphis purse when he drops it--or you say a hymn when he suddenly asks youto, and then your fortune is made.
The others, as I said, were very slack about it, and did not seem tocare much about trying the rescue. They said there wasn't any deadlyperil, and we should have to make one before we could rescue the oldgentleman from it, but Oswald didn't see that that mattered. However, hethought he would try some of the easier ways first, by himself.
So he waited about the station, pulling up railway carriage windows forold gentlemen who looked likely--but nothing happened, and at last theporters said he was a nuisance. So that was no go. No one ever asked himto say a hymn, though he had learned a nice short one, beginning 'Newevery morning'--and when an old gentleman did drop a two-shilling piecejust by Ellis's the hairdresser's, and Oswald picked it up, and wasjust thinking what he should say when he returned it, the old gentlemancaught him by the collar and called him a young thief. It would havebeen very unpleasant for Oswald if he hadn't happened to be a verybrave boy, and knew the policeman on that beat very well indeed. So thepoliceman backed him up, and the old gentleman said he was sorry, andoffered Oswald sixpence. Oswald refused it with polite disdain, andnothing more happened at all.
When Oswald had tried by himself and it had not come off, he said to theothers, 'We're wasting our time, not trying to rescue the old gentlemanin deadly peril. Come--buck up! Do let's do something!'
It was dinner-time, and Pincher was going round getting the bits offthe plates. There were plenty because it was cold-mutton day. And Alicesaid--
'It's only fair to try Oswald's way--he has tried all the things theothers thought of. Why couldn't we rescue Lord Tottenham?'
Lord Tottenham is the old gentleman who walks over the Heath every dayin a paper collar at three o'clock--and when he gets halfway, if thereis no one about, he changes his collar and throws the dirty one into thefurze-bushes.
Dicky said, 'Lord Tottenham's all right--but where's the deadly peril?'
And we couldn't think of any. There are no highwaymen on Blackheath now,I am sorry to say. And though Oswald said half of us could be highwaymenand the other half rescue party, Dora kept on saying it would be wrongto be a highwayman--and so we had to give that up.
Then Alice said, 'What about Pincher?'
And we all saw at once that it could be done.
Pincher is very well bred, and he does know one or two things, though wenever could teach him to beg. But if you tell him to hold on--he will doit, even if you only say 'Seize him!' in a whisper.
So we arranged it all. Dora said she wouldn't play; she said she thoughtit was wrong, and she knew it was silly--so we left her out, and shewent and sat in the dining-room with a goody-book, so as to be able tosay she didn't have anything to do with it, if we got into a row overit.
Alice and H. O. were to hide in the furze-bushes just by where LordTottenham changes his collar, and they were to whisper, 'Seize him!' toPincher; and then when Pincher had seized Lord Tottenham we were togo and rescue him from his deadly peril. And he would say, 'How can Ireward you, my noble young preservers?' and it would be all right.
So we went up to the Heath. We were afraid of being late. Oswald toldthe others what Procrastination was--so they got to the furze-bushes alittle after two o'clock, and it was rather cold. Alice and H. O. andPincher hid, but Pincher did not like it any more than they did, and aswe three walked up and down we heard him whining. And Alice kept saying,'I _am_ so cold! Isn't he coming yet?' And H. O. wanted to come outand jump about to warm himself. But we told him he must learn to bea Spartan boy, and that he ought to be very thankful he hadn't got abeastly fox eating his inside all the time. H. O. is our little brother,and we are not going to let it be our fault if he grows up a milksop.Besides, it was not really cold. It was his knees--he wears socks. Sothey stayed where they were. And at last, when even the other three whowere walking about were beginning to feel rather chilly, we saw LordTottenham's big black cloak coming along, flapping in the wind like agreat bird. So we said to Alice--
'Hist! he approaches. You'll know when to set Pincher on by hearing LordTottenham talking to himself--he always does while he is taking off hiscollar.'
Then we three walked slowly away whistling to show we were not thinkingof anything. Our lips were rather cold, but we managed to do it.
Lord Tottenham came striding along, talking to himself. People call himthe mad Protectionist. I don't know what it means--but I don't thinkpeople ought to call a Lord such names.
As he passed us he said, 'Ruin of the country, sir! Fatal error, fatalerror!' And then we looked back and saw he was getting quite near wherePincher was, and Alice and H. O. We walked on--so that he shouldn'tthink we were looking--and in a minute we heard Pincher's bark, and thennothing for a bit; and then we looked round, and sure enough good oldPincher had got Lord Tottenham by the trouser leg and was holding onlike billy-ho, so we started to run.
Lord Tottenham had got his collar half off--it was sticking out sidewaysunder his ear--and he was shouting, 'Help, help, murder!' exactly as ifsome one had explained to him beforehand what he was to do. Pincher wasgrowling and snarling and holding on. When we got to him I stopped andsaid--
'Dicky, we must rescue this good old man.'
Lord Tottenham roared in his fury, 'Good old man be--' something orothered. 'Call the dog off.'
So Oswald said, 'It is a dangerous task--but who would hesitate to do anact of true bravery?'
And all the while Pincher was worrying and snarling, and Lord Tottenhamshouting to us to get the dog away. He was dancing about in the roadwith Pincher hanging on like grim death; and his collar flapping about,where it was undone.
Then Noel said, 'Haste, ere yet it be too late.' So I said to LordTottenham--
'Stand still, aged sir, and I will endeavour to alleviate yourdistress.'
He stood still, and I stooped down and caught hold of Pincher andwhispered, 'Drop it, sir; drop it!'
So then Pincher dropped it, and Lord Tottenham fastened his collaragain--he never does change it if there's any one looking--and he said--
'I'm much obliged, I'm sure. Nasty vicious brute! Here's something todrink my health.'
But Dicky explained that we are teetotallers, and do not drink people'shealths. So Lord Tottenham said, 'Well, I'm much obliged any way. Andnow I come to look at you--of course, you're not young ruffians, butgentlemen's sons, eh? Still, you won't be above taking a tip from an oldboy--I wasn't when I was your age,' and he pulled out half a sovereign.
It was very silly; but now we'd done it I felt it would be beastly meanto take the old boy's chink after putting him in such a funk. He didn'tsay anything about bringing us up as his own sons--so I didn't know whatto do. I let Pincher go, and was just going to say he was very welcome,and we'd rather not have the money, which seemed the best way out of it,when that beastly dog spoiled the whole show. Directly I let him go hebegan to jump about at us and bark for joy, and try to lick our faces.He was so proud of what he'd done. Lord Tottenham opened his eyes and hejust said, 'The dog seems to know you.'
And then Oswald saw it was all up, and he said, 'Good morning,' andtried to get away. But Lord Tottenham said--
'Not so fast!' And he caught Noel by the collar. Noel gave a howl, andAlice ran out from the bushes. Noel is her favourite. I'm sure I don'tknow why. Lord Tottenham looked at her, and he said--
'So there are more of you!' And then H. O. came out.
'Do you complete the party?' Lord Tottenham asked him. And H. O. saidthere
were only five of us this time.
Lord Tottenham turned sharp off and began to walk away, holding Noel bythe collar. We caught up with him, and asked him where he was going, andhe said, 'To the Police Station.' So then I said quite politely, 'Well,don't take Noel; he's not strong, and he easily gets upset. Besides, itwasn't his doing. If you want to take any one take me--it was my veryown idea.'
Dicky behaved very well. He said, 'If you take Oswald I'll go too, butdon't take Noel; he's such a delicate little chap.'
Lord Tottenham stopped, and he said, 'You should have thought of thatbefore.' Noel was howling all the time, and his face was very white, andAlice said--
'Oh, do let Noel go, dear, good, kind Lord Tottenham; he'll faint if youdon't, I know he will, he does sometimes. Oh, I wish we'd never done it!Dora said it was wrong.'
'Dora displayed considerable common sense,' said Lord Tottenham, and helet Noel go. And Alice put her arm round Noel and tried to cheer him up,but he was all trembly, and as white as paper.
Then Lord Tottenham said--
'Will you give me your word of honour not to try to escape?'
So we said we would.
'Then follow me,' he said, and led the way to a bench. We all followed,and Pincher too, with his tail between his legs--he knew something waswrong. Then Lord Tottenham sat down, and he made Oswald and Dicky andH. O. stand in front of him, but he let Alice and Noel sit down. And hesaid--
'You set your dog on me, and you tried to make me believe you weresaving me from it. And you would have taken my half-sovereign. Suchconduct is most--No--you shall tell me what it is, sir, and speak thetruth.'
So I had to say it was most ungentlemanly, but I said I hadn't beengoing to take the half-sovereign.
'Then what did you do it for?' he asked. 'The truth, mind.'
So I said, 'I see now it was very silly, and Dora said it was wrong,but it didn't seem so till we did it. We wanted to restore the fallenfortunes of our house, and in the books if you rescue an old gentlemanfrom deadly peril, he brings you up as his own son--or if you preferto be your father's son, he starts you in business, so that you end inwealthy affluence; and there wasn't any deadly peril, so we made Pincherinto one--and so--' I was so ashamed I couldn't go on, for it did seeman awfully mean thing. Lord Tottenham said--
'A very nice way to make your fortune--by deceit and trickery. I have ahorror of dogs. If I'd been a weak man the shock might have killed me.What do you think of yourselves, eh?'
We were all crying except Oswald, and the others say he was; and LordTottenham went on--'Well, well, I see you're sorry. Let this be a lessonto you; and we'll say no more about it. I'm an old man now, but I wasyoung once.'
Then Alice slid along the bench close to him, and put her hand on hisarm: her fingers were pink through the holes in her woolly gloves, andsaid, 'I think you're very good to forgive us, and we are really very,very sorry. But we wanted to be like the children in the books--onlywe never have the chances they have. Everything they do turns out allright. But we _are_ sorry, very, very. And I know Oswald wasn't going totake the half-sovereign. Directly you said that about a tip from an oldboy I began to feel bad inside, and I whispered to H. O. that I wishedwe hadn't.'
Then Lord Tottenham stood up, and he looked like the Death of Nelson,for he is clean shaved and it is a good face, and he said--
'Always remember never to do a dishonourable thing, for money or foranything else in the world.'
And we promised we would remember. Then he took off his hat, and we tookoff ours, and he went away, and we went home. I never felt so cheap inall my life! Dora said, 'I told you so,' but we didn't mind even that somuch, though it was indeed hard to bear. It was what Lord Tottenham hadsaid about ungentlemanly. We didn't go on to the Heath for a week afterthat; but at last we all went, and we waited for him by the bench. Whenhe came along Alice said, 'Please, Lord Tottenham, we have not been onthe Heath for a week, to be a punishment because you let us off. And wehave brought you a present each if you will take them to show you arewilling to make it up.'
He sat down on the bench, and we gave him our presents. Oswald gave hima sixpenny compass--he bought it with my own money on purpose to givehim. Oswald always buys useful presents. The needle would not move afterI'd had it a day or two, but Lord Tottenham used to be an admiral, sohe will be able to make that go all right. Alice had made him ashaving-case, with a rose worked on it. And H. O. gave him hisknife--the same one he once cut all the buttons off his best suit with.Dicky gave him his prize, Naval Heroes, because it was the best thing hehad, and Noel gave him a piece of poetry he had made himself--
When sin and shame bow down the brow Then people feel just like we do now. We are so sorry with grief and pain We never will be so ungentlemanly again.
Lord Tottenham seemed very pleased. He thanked us, and talked to us fora bit, and when he said good-bye he said--
'All's fair weather now, mates,' and shook hands.
And whenever we meet him he nods to us, and if the girls are with ushe takes off his hat, so he can't really be going on thinking usungentlemanly now.
