Choosing the Dragon

by Rinelle Grey

  He put the shopping on the bench and did his best to assist with putting it away. Rowan was more help than he was though. Calrian really wasn’t very good at this, and it only emphasized the fact that Rylee was probably better off without him.

  He didn’t say anything though. They’d both already made it clear they didn’t agree with him.

  Hopefully that meant Rylee had a plan because Calrian had no idea how to help with that either. His new understanding of the human world only made him realise how little he knew and how little he could do to help.

  Money seemed central to everything they did. They needed it to pay for their homes, their transport. Rylee must even have used it to buy the bags of food they’d just carried in.

  It reminded him of the stories of how important gold used to be to the dragons. They’d hoarded it, fought over it, and even killed over it. And they hadn’t even had anything to spend it on. Imagine if dragons were out there now in the human’s world of money?

  Calrian gave a shudder. He could just imagine how competitive they would get.

  But dragons had decided to give up the lure of gold long ago. Most of them had anyway. Unfortunately that also meant that Calrian had no hidden stash of gold he could call upon. Even if he had, it probably would have disappeared along with his clan.

  He had no help to offer Rylee, not when it came to money anyway. He grasped the principles. Humans worked and received money in payment, but though there might be some sort of work he could do, he suspected that his lack of understanding would show in anything he tried. He couldn’t risk his true nature being revealed.

  He followed her into the living room and sat down opposite her, feeling lost and useless.

  “Go do your homework,” Rylee automatically told Rowan.

  Rowan sat down, a mutinous look on his face. “It’s Friday, I don’t have homework. Besides, I want to help.”

  Rylee’s shoulders slumped, and she gave a sigh. “I need to figure out what we’re going to do first.”

  That answered Calrian’s unspoken question. She had no more idea than he did. He wasn’t the only one feeling useless. For some reason that spurred him to try harder to help.

  “How do humans find a new home?”

  As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he winced. Rowan had explained it to him only yesterday. Humans couldn’t just fly around and find a nice cave for a new home. They had to buy one. And he already knew that Rylee didn’t have that kind of money.

  Rylee heaved another sigh. “I’ll have to go into the real estate agency tomorrow morning and see if they have any rentals available.” She didn’t sound too hopeful.

  “What’s a rental?” Calrian asked with a frown.

  He wouldn’t have blamed Rylee if she didn’t have the energy to explain. It must be very tedious having to explain every little detail to him. But she didn’t seem bothered at all as she said, “People who aren’t living in their houses right now rent them out to people who can’t afford a house. It’s a lot cheaper than buying a house, though it’s still going to be a struggle. If they’ll even rent to us.”

  “Some people have houses they don’t use? Where are they living then?” The human world was very confusing.

  Rylee gave a ghost of a smile. “In another house somewhere. A lot of people have more than one.”

  That seemed rather unfair to Calrian’s way of thinking. But he just nodded as if it made sense. “What can I do to help?”

  Rylee was shaking her head. “Nothing, I’m afraid. I’m going to have to do this one on my own. I’m sorry, I won’t have any time to help you search for your clan for a few days. Maybe once this all settles down.”

  Calrian couldn’t believe she was worrying about his problems when she had more than enough to deal with of her own. He waved a hand dismissively. “I can take care of that. Don’t give it another thought.”

  He only wished he could do more. She’d said there was nothing he could do, but he struggled to accept that. It was his fault she was in this position. There must be something he could do.

  Trouble was, he didn’t even know where to start.

  Chapter 10

  Rylee stared around at the stained walls and cracked lino and tried not to feel like giving up. This was the seventh house she’d looked at this morning and each one seemed worse than the last. All of them as bad as the ones she’d seen the day before.

  The reality was anything that was in her price range was a dump, pure and simple.

  What was she going to do? She knew she couldn’t bring Rowan here, even before she saw how he screwed up his nose at the place. Eric had been right—she was a failure. This only emphasized that fact.

  And he’d be so happy to be proved right. Her heart sank at the thought.

  Was it possible that Eric had been behind her father’s ultimatum. She wouldn’t put it past him. It was very much his style. Back her into a corner to try to force her into giving in to him.

  For a brief moment Rylee imagined doing that, agreeing that she’d made a mistake and returning to their neat and tidy house in the suburbs. All her money worries could be gone in a flash.

  But the idea didn’t bring her any comfort. In fact, her chest tightened and her palms grew sweaty just thinking about it. Panic welled up in her at the thought.

  No, no matter how bad a house looked or smelled, it was far better than living with Eric could ever be.

  She was not giving up. What had Calrian said? ‘Success isn’t just about having a nice house, it’s about respecting yourself.’ She could respect herself in a rundown house, but every minute she spent around Eric eroded her self-respect. And it damaged Rowan.

  She just needed to keep looking. There had to be a house out there that wasn’t a dump that she could afford. It didn’t need to be for long. As soon as she’d moved and things were sorted out with Calrian, she’d get back to looking for a job. She’d find something soon.

  She had to.

  For a moment, the cliff she had to scale to get to that place seemed overwhelming and impossible. But Rylee had been here before. She made herself take a deep breath and take it one step at a time.

  “Are you sure you don’t have anything else?” she asked hopefully.

  The real estate agent gave her a condescending smile. “Not in your price range.”

  Was her voice overly smug or was that Rylee’s mind jumping to conclusions?

  “It’s not so bad, Mum,” Rowan piped up. “If we clean it up.”

  Rylee stared around the room and tried to use her imagination. It did have three bedrooms at least, room for them all. And the backyard, though overgrown, was a decent size. It was better than the place that smelled of cat urine or the one that had anthills all over the yard.

  The stains could be scrubbed off the walls. A rug would cover the cracked lino and stop anyone stubbing their toes. A few curtains on the windows to block out the neighbours who were only a few metres away, and…

  Who was she kidding? Yes, she could make this liveable, but it was never going to be anything more than a roof over their heads. It would never be the home she’d dreamed about when she’d left Eric.

  But, she argued with herself, right now they desperately needed that roof. If the places she’d seen in the last few days were anything to go by, finding anything better wasn’t going to be easy.

  She hesitated, unsure what to do. They’d already used two of the days her father had given her to find somewhere else and found little that she’d consider suitable. If she kept searching, she was going to run out of time.

  It was either pick one of these or face the reality of having nowhere to go when the time was up. Her father would be smug about that, especially if she asked him for more time. He’d probably remind her that she could stay as long as she liked if she told Calrian to leave.

  But was she making the right choice? Was bringing Rowan to a place like this really better than asking Calrian to leave? Was she putting her own wants over her son’s needs? />
  Her mind wavered back and forth, uncertain, unable to make a decision, not sure which was the right one.

  Making decisions was one of the hardest things in the world. But the reality was, whenever she thought of asking Calrian to leave, her heart seized up. She just couldn’t do it. And luckily she knew she had Rowan’s support in that.

  “I’ll put in an application,” she said, trying to keep the weary resignation out of her voice. “Along with ones for two of the other houses.” She’d worry about which one would be the best option if she was accepted to more than one of them.

  Once she’d finished filling in the depressing paperwork that asked far too many questions about jobs and interviews, she and Rowan headed out to the car.

  Her weary heart leapt at the thought of seeing Calrian. It was the highlight of her day. She hoped her dad hadn’t given him a hard time while she was gone, but she’d figured it was better not to bring him along on this search given he couldn’t really put his name on the application.

  Now she was glad he hadn’t seen any of these dumps. At least if she got any of them, she’d have time to clean it before he saw how bad it was. She pushed that uncomfortable thought aside to worry about later.

  As she headed home, her heart rose, but not because she’d achieved anything to do with finding a new home. It was because soon she would be seeing Calrian.

  It was crazy, the way she felt about him. She’d thought that once the Mesmer bond was gone all these feelings would fade away. Yeah, he was still gorgeous, but while she loved looking at him, it wasn’t what attracted her to him.

  She was looking forward to seeing his smile, to telling him all about her awful day, to having him commiserate with her about how hard this was without judging her, to seeing how Rowan looked up to him, and how he was interested in hearing her son’s tales of the day as well as hers.

  The truth was Calrian was the perfect partner. Kind, considerate, caring.

  His stunning good looks were just a bonus, even if they did hit her like a steam train as she stepped into the kitchen and saw him washing up sans shirt. Even though he had plenty now, he still preferred to go without when they were alone. And Rylee certainly didn’t object.

  Okay, the good looks definitely affected her. But then again, what guy didn’t look gorgeous while washing up? It was every woman’s dream, right? And there he was, standing in her kitchen, doing the breakfast dishes she’d left there in her hurry that morning.

  “How’d it go?” Calrian asked, his smile warm. “Did you find anything?” There was a hopeful note to his voice that Rylee was sure wouldn’t have been there if he’d seen the houses she’d been looking at.

  But she refused to let that get her down. Something would work out, somehow.

  Instead she smiled and said lightly, “I put in a couple of applications. We’ll see if anything comes through. Thanks for doing the washing up.”

  “It was no problem,” Calrian said, and Rylee was sure he genuinely meant it. “Can I help you with dinner?”

  Rowan grinned at both of them and disappeared into the other room to watch TV. Rylee was surprised that he didn’t hang around to talk about his day and ask questions about what they were having for dinner.

  It was almost as if he were conspiring to leave her and Calrian alone together.

  Well it wouldn’t be the first time. He’d been vocal in his support for Calrian, and he hadn’t hidden the fact that he was hoping the two of them would get together. Rylee was glad to have his support, even if she was still concerned about him being heartbroken if Calrian left.

  If Calrian did leave, Rowan wouldn’t be the only heartbroken one. But Rylee refused to think about that. Right now she needed to just take this one day at a time. “That would be nice,” she agreed, nodding at Calrian and moving to take some mince out of the fridge. “If you want to cut up some vegies, I’ll mix some rissoles.”

  Calrian nodded and began to pull out the vegies. Rylee had to give it to him. He learned quickly. A few days ago he hadn’t known his way around a kitchen at all, but now he fitted right in.

  If he found his clan, she was really going to miss him.

  She berated herself for hoping, even just for a second, that he didn’t.

  Chapter 11

  “Well, I suppose I’d better get going.” Calrian bit back a sigh. He was comfortable, seated on the couch next to Rylee, his leg touching hers, watching TV, his belly full from the dinner they’d cooked together. But it had been dark for several hours now. He had no excuse not to be out there, searching for his clan. Rowan had gone to bed half an hour ago amid the usual protests.

  “I suppose so,” Rylee agreed, but she didn’t pull away from him or make a move to get up herself. “I guess I should be getting ready for bed too.”

  That comment was almost too much temptation for Calrian to bear.

  It had been several days since he and Rylee had completed the Mesmer ritual, several days since he had been bonded to her. And the desire he felt for her hadn’t dimmed. He would love nothing more than to crawl into her bed beside her and see where that desire led.

  What would mating feel like between them without the Mesmer bond? Could it possibly match the passion they had shared on that day?

  He itched to find out.

  Which was why it really was best that he had somewhere else to be. He had a responsibility that would take him away from here, away from the temptation.

  That was the reason he pushed himself up from the chair, the reason he ignored Rylee’s disappointed sigh.

  That and the fact that he still wasn’t sure what any of this meant. Rylee wanted him to stay, that much was certain, but neither of them had discussed why.

  He could blame that on Rylee having been out all day, searching for a new home, and his being out all night searching for his clan, but he knew that would be an excuse. They’d had plenty of time for discussion. That evening while cooking dinner, for example, or in the last half hour while they’d been sitting here together.

  He wasn’t sure what Rylee’s motivation was, but in his case, he was half afraid of her saying she wasn’t interested in him like that, that she liked having him around because it kept her former mate away. Or because he helped wash up.

  He was glad to do those things for her, but he hoped it was something more.

  Or maybe, deep down, his real fear was that she would say she was interested in that. What if she wanted to mate? The idea filled him with exhilaration and panic.

  Oh, he wanted it. There was a part of him that wanted that more than anything.

  Unfortunately the rest of him knew he couldn’t have it. Not yet. He had a responsibility to his clan.

  That responsibility was what made him smile sympathetically at Rylee and say, “I hope you sleep well.”

  She stood up too, her body only inches from him, so close he could feel the heat emanating from her. She looked up at him and said softly, “I hope you find what you are looking for.”

  Calrian heard her words, understood the sentiment behind them, and appreciated it.

  But in truth, all he could think of was bending his head and kissing her. He could imagine how her lips would taste and how soft and warm they would be under his.

  He hesitated, staring down at her. And she stared back with the same aching, wanting, uncertain look in hers.

  It was on the tip of his tongue, to ask her where this was going, what she wanted from him. But if he did, she’d ask him the same question back. And he could no more answer it than he could give up on finding his clan.

  So he forced a smile and said, “See you in the morning.”

  Rylee nodded and stepped back, the moment gone. Calrian turned and headed out the door. He glanced around, making sure there was no one nearby, using his dragon hearing to be sure before he stepped out of his clothes, leaving them in a neat pile on the veranda, and transformed.

  He could feel Rylee’s eyes on him as he shifted and changed, growing scales, sprouting
horns, spreading his wings.

  She liked watching him. That made his skin tingle. It was why he shifted here, out in the open, when common sense told him he should wait until he was further away.

  “I’ll be back,” he said into her mind before lifting into the air.

  He made himself fly high until he would look like nothing but a small shadow, not looking back. Even though he wanted too.

  Then he headed off.

  Despite being unable to completely stop himself from thinking of Rylee, he made himself concentrate. This was not the time for being absent minded. He had a lot of ground to cover, and it would take quite some time.

  “Rian Clan, can anyone hear me,” he sent out, despite the fact that he’d done so many times before in this area. He wasn’t surprised when his only reply was silence.

  He glanced around, trying to work out what ground he’d covered last night and what new area he wanted fly over tonight. He’d covered the town, not surprised when he received no reply, and the area to both sides of it. Now he went further west, further away from civilisation. This would be the most likely area for his clan to have retreated to if that was what had happened.

  He ignored the flutter of hope in his heart. He couldn’t afford it. If he hoped, he could be disappointed, and he knew that would make his job harder. Instead he focused on the mechanical job of flying in long, sweeping runs, each about as far apart as his dragon voice could carry, give or take.

  Every few minutes, he sent out another call. “Rian Clan, if you can hear me, please respond.”

  He didn’t let himself hope for an answer, just focused on the mechanical tasks of listening and flying, flying and listening.

  The night was long. The moon rose, and still Calrian flew.

  But as the sky to the east began to lighten, his bones were weary and his heart heavy.