To Professor, With Love

by Linda Kage

  I was okay with that, because I was inside.

  Shutting the door behind me, I held her shocked gaze. “You about done freaking out yet?”

  She swung her head back and forth. “No.”

  “Well, I’m done waiting.” Cupping her face in my hands, I added, “What we’re doing is wrong. Making it a one-time deal is wrong. Trying to convince ourselves it was dirty and tawdry and something to be ashamed of is wrong. It was the best damn sex of my life, Aspen. I felt connected to you, like hell, I don’t know. I wasn’t just getting off in some random girl; I was sharing something deep and meaningful...with you. I don’t care how many school policies tell us no. I’m saying yes.”

  She drew in a loud breath and shook her head. “Why do you make it so hard for me to resist you?”

  Hot damn, I was winning. My lips kicked up at the side. “Because you want to say yes just as badly as I want you to.”

  A groan, telling me her will was crumbling, exited her lungs. “This is going to end badly.” She leaned forward and thumped her forehead against my chest.

  “Maybe.” My arms swooped around her as I kissed her hair. “Maybe not.” Then I kissed her cheek. “I hope not.”

  Looking up at me, she showed me all the faith she had in me. “So do I.”

  Finally, I kissed her mouth. Her lips trembled under mine, so I eased up on the pressure until she was the one straining forward for more.

  Her fingers settled in my hair. I walked her backward to her couch and settled her down. There was so much I wanted to do, and touch, and see. The closet had been nothing but a giant tease. I hadn’t been able to undress her completely, or taste her nipples or kiss the inside of the thigh. I planned to rectify all that right now.

  But about as soon as we were both horizontal and I was slowly peeling her shirt up over her head, a buzzer went off somewhere in the back of her house.

  Lifting my head in absolute confusion, I glanced around. “What the hell?”

  Under me, Aspen laughed and swiped at my hair with fingers as if smoothing it back into place. “Oven timer.” She wiggled under me to let me know she wanted up.

  I sat back, blinking at the concept of an oven timer going off. Nothing had ever been cooked in the oven at my apartment, and it sure as hell hadn’t back home. I’d had home-cooked meals a few times when the neighbor lady three trailer houses down had taken pity on us kids and invited us over. But to think of Aspen making a home-cooked meal was...unreal.

  “Food,” I said dumbly as my stomach rumbled happily over the idea. Well, hell. She cooked too? This was too good to be true. “What’re we eating?”

  “We?” Aspen arched her strict, professor eyebrow at me as she stood and smoothed her shirt back into place. “I don’t remember inviting you to supper?”

  “Oh, come on.” I popped up after her and trailed her into the kitchen like a begging puppy. “I’m a poor, deprived college kid. Are you really going to deny this face?” I pointed out my puckered lip and batting eyelashes.

  When she glanced over and caught sight of them, she laughed. “Oh, my God. You’re pathetic. Okay, fine. You can stay for supper. I have plenty.”

  After she turned off the timer, she grabbed a set of hot pads, but I snatched them from her. “You’re injured. I’ll do it.”

  She frowned. “Injured? What’re you talking about?”

  “Your arm,” I reminded her as I opened the oven. “Falling box of books. Gashed shoulder. Fifteen stiches. Ring a bell?”

  Her hand fluttered to her shoulder. “I don’t even notice them anymore. They’ve stopped pulling when I move.”

  “Well, that’s good. But just wait until they start itching. After one of my mom’s friends put me in the hospital one time, I—oh, shit. Lasagna. You made lasagna?”

  She blinked. “I...” Shaking her head, she glanced at the lasagna before turning back to me. “Yeah, I made lasagna. What were you saying about being put in a hospital? How old were you?”

  I kind of liked the fierce expression on her face, as if she wanted to go defend the past me. I waved a hand. “Oh, ten or so. The point is, I ended up with stiches, and they irritated the hell out of me when they were ready to come out because they itched so much. But, seriously, how did you know lasagna was my favorite meal?”

  “I just craved lasagna tonight.”

  “Well, you made enough for an army.” I slid it free and set it on the hot plate she’d already set up on the countertop. “So, I’m saying your subconscious knew I was coming and your telepathy told you to make me this.”

  Crossing her arms over her chest, she rested her hip against the counter as she faced me. “And I’m saying you’re completely ridiculous.” She shook her head, her eyes twinkling. “You know, when I first saw you, I had no idea you’d be quite this...playful.”

  I caught her waist and pulled her up against me. Anchoring her bottom against the counter so I could press into her, I ducked my face and brushed my nose against her neck. “I had no idea about a lot of things about you, so I’d say we’re even on that score. You are nothing like I thought you’d be. You’re better. So...so much better.”

  When I grasped the hem of her shirt and yanked it up over her head, she yelped out her surprise. “Noel!”

  I grinned. “What? I think we should eat topless.” Her hands went to cover her plain white bra, but I caught her wrists. “Don’t.” My voice was soft. Pleading. “I want to see you.”

  I heard her swallow. Her body trembled against mine. Then she lifted her bright green eyes and confessed, “Then I want to see you too.”

  I breathed easier. “Done.” My own shirt was off half a second later.

  Eyes widening, Aspen ran her gaze over me with a look of complete awe. “Wow.”

  “Feel free to touch,” I told her. “Because I plan to.”

  I smoothed my fingers over the ugly black stitches on her shoulder. She shuddered and closed her eyes, so I kept on, shifting my hand up until I caught hold of the strap of her bra. I slid it off and kissed the patch of skin it’d been hiding. Kissing my way down to the breast it no longer supported, I brushed the cup aside and took her nipple into my mouth. There, I suckled, making her groan until finally she touched me back. She curled her hand around the back of my neck, and clung to me while I tugged gently on her breast.

  As my tongue worked over the hard peak, she trailed her hands down my back. When she reached the waistband of my jeans, she came around to the front, made a tentative sweep over my six-pack and then popped open the top button of my jeans. That’s when I couldn’t take it any longer.

  “You know, we should wait for that lasagna to cool down before we eat it.”

  “We really should,” she agreed and kissed my pec, right over my heart as she made a humming sound in her throat and slid my zipper down.

  Gripping her hips, I picked her up. “I have the perfect idea of how we could bide our time.”

  Teeth nipped my earlobe before she whispered, “Take me to bed.”

  ***

  ~ASPEN~

  Noel laid me almost reverently on my mattress. Then he stepped back and ripped open his jeans. I sat up, utterly captivated. He was perfectly formed, his body a sculpted piece of art. As he pushed stiff denim over his hips and down his legs, I swear my mouth watered. I swallowed and let my gaze drop down every blessed inch of him, then back up to his bulging boxers.

  “I like how you watch me.” He put on even more of a show by hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts.

  “I like watching you.” Holding my breath, I waited and then...wow. He pushed the boxes down until he was gloriously naked.

  “You like?” Holding his hands open at his sides, he turned slowly to give me a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view. His tight, narrow butt was just as impressive as what bobbed out the front.

  I could barely tear my gaze away. But I managed to meet his eyes. “You’ll do.”

  He laughed and crawled onto the bed, pausing when he bumped his knee a
gainst the paperback I’d been reading last night before going to bed. Scowling at it, he picked it up and tossed it over his shoulder.

  I gasped in outrage. “Hey! My book.”

  “I’ll apologize to it later, I swear.” Then he hulked over me and stared down into my eyes.

  I narrowed him a half-hearted scowl. “That’s two paperbacks now that have been harmed because of you. I hope you realize that’s not a good way to start a relationship with a book junkie.”

  He merely arched an eyebrow. “Two books?”

  “Yeah. That one, and the one I drenched in the bathtub when I—” Remembering he knew absolutely nothing about the bathroom incident, I snapped my mouth shut and flushed a deep scarlet.

  “Bathtub?” He caught on to my distress a little too easily and gave a wicked grin. “Were you perhaps...naked in this bathtub?”

  I gulped unable to take my eyes off his. “I usually am when I’m in the bath.”

  “Hmm.” He pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I’m having a hard time picturing you that way. Can you give me a better visual?”

  Without asking, he opened the top clasp of my skirt. Then he slid it down my legs. “Damn,” he murmured once I was completely unclothed. “You are so...beautiful.”

  I blushed under his stare, and my nipples pulled tight. He focused on them hungrily. “So, about this bath where you ruined a perfectly good book.” Voice husky, he ran his gaze over me yet again His fingertips lightly flicked over one nipple. “Were you perhaps doing...this...when it happened?” He cupped me between the legs and rubbed his fingers against my clit.

  I arched and groaned, grabbing a handful of sheets under me as my body pushed up against his touch. “Maybe,” I panted.

  “And you were thinking about me while you did this?”

  When he leaned down to replace his fingers with his mouth, his tongue sliding mercilessly over my aching flesh, I cried out and grabbed his hair. But, oh, my God. “Definitely,” I confessed on a high voice.

  “Jesus, Aspen.” His voice was unstable and frantic. “You completely undo me.”

  His hands spread my thighs wider as his tongue lapped deeper. I dug my heels into the mattress under me, feeling his touch from the tips of my toes to the roots of my hair. Then he pushed a finger inside me, and I cried out my shock. The wave of pleasure was overwhelming. I tried to fight it and embrace it at the same time, unable to stop writhing as Noel took me to a new level of delirious.

  Sagging onto the mattress when the muscles in my body went into a post-coital coma, I stared at Noel in dazed wonder while he scrambled off the bed, jerked up his pants and dug through the pockets until he pulled out a folded line of condoms.

  “Look, I remembered this time.” He was so boyishly adorable as he sent me a proud grin that I had to grin back. In fact, I had a feeling I was glowing from head to toe I felt so sublime.

  He tore one off from the others and glanced at me, smiling as he shook his head. “You look like you’ve just been fucked silly.”

  At the moment, I couldn’t feel insulted if I wanted to. I simply kept beaming. “Haven’t I?”

  “Not yet.” A new determined gleam lit his eyes as he crawled back onto the bed. Hovering above me, he leaned in to kiss my lips. His tongue mated with mine as he suited up. And then his warm palm clasped my knee, nudging me open just a little more.

  When he pushed inside, I threw my head back and breathed through my teeth. He was always just so...there. Huge and filling, like he wanted to take over every available space I had to give and then demand more.

  Gripping my thighs, he wrapped my legs around his waist and curled his arms around me. Knotted together until I didn’t know where I ended and he began, we made love.

  ***

  The room was quiet. Feeling too lethargic to move, I lounged sideways across Noel’s chest, completely nude as he ran his hand over my warm, sensitive spine.

  “That feels...” I managed a moan. “So good.”

  “Oh, yeah?” He sat up enough to lean over me and kiss my jutting hipbone. “Feels good to me too. You’re soft all over.”

  I closed my eyes and smiled, unable to control the giddiness roaring through me. But I’d never had an after-sex experience like this before. With the two guys who hadn’t forced me, they’d left with excuses as soon as they’d finished. Actually, since the first hadn’t even bothered to finish, I guess only the one guy had pulled out as soon as he’d finished his business, and then he’d gone on his merry way.

  But this...this was nice. I liked after-sex cuddling.

  Noel rolled me from my side onto my back so he could kiss my belly button next, but a lump under my spine had me wiggling until I reached back and pulled up the blue bunny he’d won at the carnival.

  Arching an eyebrow, he picked it up and sent me a smug grin. “I knew you’d keep this thing.” Then he used the soft cloth of the bunny’s ear to caress me from my navel and up between my breasts.

  I sighed and stretched languidly under him.

  He hummed in contentment. “I’m suddenly very, very glad you wear those frumpy clothes you do to school. I think I’d flip my shit if any other guy on campus had a clue what you looked like under them.”

  I glanced at him, lifting my eyebrows. “What, you don’t like my power suits?”

  He gave a quick laugh. “Power suits? Is that what you call them?”

  I shrugged. What else should I call them? I wore them to gain the position I wanted on that campus.

  “I know that’s not what you usually wear,” Noel went on. “At the bar in that sexy, black backless thing and to the carnival in those adorable jean shorts. I have a feeling you only wear your power suits to the university.”

  I smiled with pride and kissed his cheek. “And you would be right.”

  “Hell, I know I’m right. But why? Why do you do it? You know how...unflattering they look, right?”

  With a roll of my eyes, I laughed. “Yes. That’s the point. I would rather be overlooked and misjudged with low expectations than to come in my first semester with a bunch of flash to intimidate people and make them think I want to roll right over them. Besides, I want them to know I care about my job, not fashion.”

  “You have funny reasoning, Professor, but I’m still glad you don’t let everyone else see these curves.” He flung the bunny over his shoulder so he could use his fingers to stroke a knot on my hip. Pausing at it, he furrowed his brow. “What’s this?”

  Ice formed in my veins. As he leaned down to examine the old knife scar and then kiss it, I jerked away. “Don’t.” The panic in my voice had him looking up and studying me, reading every uncomfortable, memory-laden expression on my face.

  “Aspen,” he said softly, his sharp eyes seeing more than I wanted him to. “Was that a trigger?”

  “Tr...?” I blinked. Why would he use that word? My therapist had always used that word. Shaking my head, I tried to laugh off the concern in his gaze. “I don’t know what you mean?”

  “I mean...” He drew in a deep breath and then exhaled. Setting his fingers against the scar, he asked, “Did you get this from your rape?”

  I blacked out. Seriously, for a split second, I saw nothing but absolute black. But I remained completely, horrifyingly conscious.

  “Aspen?” Warm fingers cupped my shoulders. Blinking the black away, I watched a fuzzy image of Noel’s concerned face slowly fill my view. “Do you remember telling me about that?” he asked.

  “No,” I whispered in horror. “I didn’t...” Oh, God, I hadn’t, had I? Why would I tell him about that? Opening my mouth to speak, I shook my head, completely aghast. “W...why would I tell you about that?”

  “You were drunk. We talked about a lot that night.”

  “But...” I pressed my hand to my chest. That wasn’t something I ever wanted him to know...wanted anyone to know. “What exactly did I tell you?”

  “Not much. You were fourteen. He was a football player. Your parents refused to do anything
about it.”

  I brushed my hair out of my face, surprised how cold my fingers were. “But...”

  “I’m glad I know.” He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “I’m glad I understand why you were so judgmental of me at first. And I’m relieved to see just how strong you are. You survived this and overcame it. I don’t...shit. I don’t know how much you think about it when we’re together, but the fact that you can still find pleasure with me is...” He shook his head. Eyes gleaming with emotion, he smiled. “You just impress the hell out of me, that’s all.”

  I curled into him and ducked my face into the hollow between his neck and shoulder. “I don’t think about it, him, not when we’re together, except maybe to marvel over how good it can actually be compared to...” I shivered, remembering just how bad it could get.

  “I’m glad.” Noel kissed my cheek. “But if I ever do hit a trigger, or do anything that reminds you...you’ll tell me, right?”

  I nodded, and strangely enough I wasn’t lying. How we’d moved so effortlessly from teacher and student who completely despised each other to personal confidants, I have no idea. But I’d be forever grateful for it. Not only had I just gained a lover, but it also felt as if I’d made a friend. So, I confided in my friend.

  “It was my senior year.” Resting my cheek on his heartbeat, I ran my fingers idly up his chest, marveling over how hard and smooth he was. “I was a couple months shy of fifteen. Zach was a senior too.”

  “Zach.” Noel snarled the word as if he wanted to commit the name of his next victim to memory.

  I smiled softly and nodded, loving the protective sound in his voice. “He was eighteen, like most normal high school seniors, and was the ‘it’ boy. Back then, I wasn’t very good at concealing my emotions. Everyone knew I had a raging crush on him. The first time he smiled at me and said hi, I think I literally sighed aloud. When he asked me on a date, I was just...over the moon.”