To Professor, With Love

by Linda Kage

  My breathing went erratic as I fisted my hands at my sides. “Where is this picture? What exactly does it show?”

  “That’s about it. I mean, just her top half. It was night, pretty dark and she was in the front seat of some car. Her head was thrown back and her tits were stuck out like she was in the middle of coming. You were cut out completely, except for your arm.” He glanced at my arm. “And your tattoo.”

  “Oh, God.” Someone had seen us that night? Taken pictures? Who would dare... Why would anyone... “Christ.” I stared at Ten from what felt like bloodshot eyes. “How the hell do you know about such a picture? Did you see it? Who took it? Where—”

  “Coach hung it on the board in the middle of the locker room. Everyone has seen it.”

  “What!” It was just hanging out in public for everyone to see Aspen in her moment of glory? No fucking way. I spun toward the doorway and charged. I knew Hamilton was still bracing the door shut, but that didn’t matter to me. I wasn’t on the team because I was afraid of being tackled.

  His eyes widened, but he seemed to prepare himself for my attack. Damn fucking football player. I didn’t let him down, bowing my head and charging with my shoulder.

  Ten shouted my name and crashed into me from behind as I rammed Hamilton hard, causing him to grunt out a whoosh of air.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Ten tried to ask between curses as he and Quinn wrestled me to the ground and pinned me down.

  I bucked under them, flailing and roaring out my rage. “I’m getting that picture.”

  My roommate sat on my back and Quinn contained my legs. “Are you insane? Coach put it up to get a reaction out of someone. Out of you. You can’t go tearing in there and—”

  “I need it down,” I ground out. “Motherfucker, how dare he? How dare he do that to her? I need that picture ripped down.”

  “Okay! Okay, buddy.” Ten patted my shoulder. “We’ll get it down. Just...breathe.”

  I stopped fighting, but the guys kept sitting on me for another couple minutes before Ten nodded at Quinn.

  Slowly, cautiously they let up pressure. When I didn’t try to break loose as soon as I had an ounce of wiggle room, they leapt off me and jumped back. I stayed sprawled on the floor, panting and trying to calm myself before I sat up and glanced at Ten.

  “I want it down.”

  “We’ll get it down,” he promised me, his eyes steady on mine with a look of pure assurance that I’d never seen him give anyone. “I swear to you, we’ll get that picture down. But you can’t go anywhere near it. If Coach finds out it’s you, you’ll be off the team and kicked out of school, bro.”

  “I don’t care.” I pushed to my feet and brushed off my clothes. “She shouldn’t be put on display like that, like some kind of dirty whore. She’s not—”

  “I know,” Ten said forcefully. He lifted his hands, back to placating me. “We both know that. But you going in there like this won’t help anyone. It won’t help you, it won’t help your brothers or sister. And it won’t help her. She’s already gone, man.”

  “Gone?” I repeated stupidly. “What do you mean gone?”

  “Do you seriously think they’d let her stay on campus after something like this? Besides,” he glanced away and mumbled the last part, “there’s a sign above the picture.”

  “A sign?” My heart sank. They’d labeled my woman, just like what had happened in that Hawthorne book. All her hard work to get a position at Ellamore had come down to a big scarlet A...because of me. This was definitely not the kind of A I’d always wanted from her. I tasted bile and wanted to get it out of me. “What’s it say?”

  Ten blanched and shook his head. Hamilton looked away.

  “What’s it say?” I roared.

  “Jesus. It says, ‘Who wants to join Dr. Kavanagh in leaving Ellamore forever?’”

  “Oh, God.”

  I started for the door. This time, they trapped me against the damn sinks.

  “Let me go, damn you.”

  “What’re you going to do? Blow in there and confess, so you can go down with her? Man, you only have one year left of school. You’re this close to getting everything you’ve worked so hard for. And don’t forget your family. Jesus, Noel. Your family.”

  “So, what do you expect me to do? Take the coward’s way out and let her take the fall for both of us? Fuck that.”

  “Think about this, Gamble. Think with your brain for a second. Nothing you can do will save her.”

  A growl escaped my throat. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, trying to combat the agony, but it just followed me.

  “But you can still save Caroline. And Colt, and Brandt. They didn’t do anything wrong and they’ll be the ones who suffer right along with you if you throw away your entire future and admit anything to Coach.”

  His words penetrated my rage until it struck me what he’d just said. I squinted. “How the fuck do you know anything about them?”

  Ten’s mouth opened. And then shut. Appearing suddenly uncomfortable, he glanced away. “You’ve mentioned your brothers’ and sister’s names before.”

  “But I’ve never told you...” This didn’t add up. “Jesus, what do you know?”

  He ground his teeth and shot me a glare. “I don’t know anything, man. You’ve never told me anything about your life back home, except those names.”

  I shook my head. “Then why do you keep bringing them up?”

  “Fuck.” He hissed. “She told me to, okay?”

  Not comprehending at all, I just blinked at him. “What?”

  “Dr. Kavanagh,” he mumbled, scowling at me.

  “Aspen? When the hell did you talk to Aspen?”

  “Jesus Christ.” Ten squeezed his eyes shut. “The night we caught her with that history professor douche. She texted me and asked me to make sure you were there, so you’d see them together.”

  My mouth fell open. I swung my head back and forth. This didn’t make any sense.

  “When I disappeared from you for a little while after that, I went to see her, to call her out on it, and demand to know why the hell she’d done that to you. I swear to God, man, I thought she wanted you there so she could hook up with you again. I didn’t know—”

  I waved my hand, shutting him up. “Then why...why did she want me to see that?”

  “She said...” He growled out a sound of irritation. “She said you needed to hate her for this to work.”

  No. No way. That did not sound good. My heart sank to my knees as I asked the dreaded question. “For what to work?”

  “Man, she knew then. I think she knew about the picture. I think someone wanted to fucking blackmail her for a good grade. And she refused.”

  She’d sacrificed herself. And made sure I would remain safe.

  Black spots dotted my vision and my knees gave out. Both Quinn and Ten caught me and helped me back upright. I worked my jaw but that didn’t relieve any of the distress flowing out my limbs.

  “Did she say who?” I asked, my voice low but rational and steady. I think I totally had Ten fooled because his grip loosened as he shook his head. “She refused to say.”

  No, she wouldn’t have, would she? Stubborn woman had done all this to protect me; she wouldn’t give any information to Ten that might change her plans.

  Fuck.

  My head racing with all the things I needed to do, I stared Ten right in the eyes. He gulped but didn’t say anything. Finally, I shoved roughly against both him and Hamilton. “Get off me.”

  Both guys released me in the same breath. I stumbled a little from the sudden loss of their restraining hands. Then I took a second to breathe in a fresh gulp and clear my head as I straightened my clothes. When I felt like I was in my own body again, I glanced at the two guys staring at me with blatant concern.

  “Thanks for the heads-up. But...” I shook my head slowly. “I can’t let her go down by herself. We started this together. We end it together.”

  Ten winced. �
�How did I know you were going to say that?”

  He didn’t try to stop me as I stalked out the door. Both guys dogged my heels, but I ignored them all the way to the locker room. When I shoved my way inside, I jerked to a halt, watching the crowd of guys, hooting and hollering as they clumped together in front of the message board.

  I saw red. About fifty dicks were about to die.

  But Ten pushed me aside and plowed forward. “Coach!” he yelled. “You piece of chicken shit bastard. Get that picture of me and my girl off the goddamn board.”

  With his roar echoing around the room, Ten rushed into the crowd of guys, shoving them aside to reach the picture. Then he ripped it down and tore it into shreds.

  Coach Jacobi appeared in the doorway of his office, a clipboard in hand. “You saying that’s you in that picture, Tenning?”

  “Yes, sir, I am. Couldn’t you tell by the look on her face? Only I can bring a woman that much pleasure.”

  I clenched my teeth and shook my head. “He’s lying.”

  “No, they’re both lying.” Hamilton spoke up from beside me. “That’s my arm, Coach.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Jacobi exploded. “All three of you fucked her?”

  “No,” I bit out, pissed off completely. How dare they tarnish her like that?

  “But we’ll all swear to it,” Ten quickly jumped in, not letting me defend her. “We’re a team, and we protect our teammates.”

  “Yeah.” Shadow, one of my offensive linebackers, stepped forward. “We don’t want to lose one of our own just because he got lucky with the hottest teacher on campus. So that’s me in that picture.” It obviously wasn’t him. His arm was way too thick to belong to the arm of the person in the picture.

  “No, it’s me,” my head running back shouted from his locker. Since his skin was too dark to match mine, he was just as blatantly lying.

  A few others jumped in to protect me, and I just stared around me helplessly. They weren’t going to let me go down with the ship.

  With a disgusted grumble, the coach ripped off his hat and threw it on the ground. “Fine,” he muttered to the room at large. “I’ll let this go this time since it didn’t make any media attention. But if I hear about one of my boys sleeping with a teacher, or coach, or a goddamn janitor on this campus, he’s getting kicked off my team. I don’t care if I have to get rid of every single one of you. This shit stops now.” Then he stormed from the room. As he left, the guys around me clapped and hollered as if they’d actually accomplished something.

  But I had gained nothing. Aspen had still been kicked out of Ellamore. And she’d known it was going to happen, had even taken measures to keep me from getting caught with her.

  I whirled around to growl at Hamilton. “You don’t even have one of these fucking tattoos.”

  He grinned and shrugged. “The coach didn’t notice, though.”

  I shook my head and stalked toward the door.

  “Hey, where’re you going?” Ten raced after me.

  I spun to point an ominous finger at him. “Just stop right now. You might’ve kept me from confessing, but you’re not stopping me from this. I have to find her.”

  “But what about training?”

  “Fuck training.”

  ***

  I tried her office first. Save for a desk, computer, and empty bookshelves, the room was completely bare. Cold, hard dread settled in the pit of my gut as I glanced around for even the slightest sign of her existence. But even her quote board was gone.

  God, how long ago had she been dismissed? She couldn’t have cleared out her office in a few minutes.

  Sick to my stomach, I combed the halls until I found the name on a door I was looking for. Shoving it open, I barged inside, making Dr. Frenetti glance up in surprise.

  “Noel! What brings you by?”

  Narrowing my eyes, I glowered. How dare he act nice to me after what he’d done to her? “You need to bring Dr. Kavanagh back. Today. She is the best damn teacher your department has ever had.” I let out a harsh laugh. “I mean, the woman actually taught me to appreciate literature. And I hate literature.”

  Expression frosting with ire, he slid his gaze over me. Then his eyes widened as they paused on my tattoo. I flexed the muscles under it, fisting my hands at my sides.

  So the dick finally realized who I was. Good for him.

  Mouth puckering with distaste, he looked up at my face. “I’m sorry, Mr. Gamble, but Dr. Kavanagh resigned. She wasn’t let go. I’m afraid we have no control over bringing her back.”

  Resigned?

  I blinked, thrown off by that piece of information. But something in Frenetti’s smirk let me know it hadn’t exactly been a voluntary resignation.

  “No,” I said through gritted teeth. “I think she left because you made her go. And if you think I’ll be okay with you chasing her off because of my involvement with her, then you seriously underestimate me, pal. Right now, I could kick your ass without a second’s regret.”

  Frenetti jerked back in his chair. “Excuse me?”

  “Bring. Her. Back.”

  “Threats will not work with me, Mr.—”

  “I’ll leave,” I said softly, stepping close. “I’ll leave this whole fucking university, let you all scramble to find a new quarterback next year. Are you prepared to give up a very real shot at the championships...just like that?”

  Glaring back at me, Frenetti pushed to his feet and kept his voice just as ominously low. “You leave this school, and we’ll take it public, make sure every radio and television station in the country knows exactly why you and your little whore were kicked out of Ellamore. She’ll never find another job in education anywhere, and you’ll never get accepted into another university. Both of your lives will be over. So, just try it, Gamble. We have no problem destroying you.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

  "When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." - Franklin D. Roosevelt, Choosing Simplicity

  ~NOEL~

  And that’s how I lost the woman I loved.

  After outplaying me and figuratively handing me my ass, Frenetti ordered me from his office. I hiked to Aspen’s house next. It was about two miles from campus. I’d made the trip a number of times before, but today, I couldn’t move fast enough, couldn’t reach her soon enough.

  Her place was quiet and abandoned when I got there, her car gone and all the shades drawn. I pounded on the front door anyway without any success. I’d also texted and called her phone, but the line went straight to voice mail.

  If it weren’t for the gaping hole in my chest, I might’ve been able to convince myself she’d never existed at all.

  ***

  I skipped the rest of my classes that week. The semester was rapidly coming to a close; I knew I really shouldn’t have ruined all my forward progress. But I couldn’t function properly. I wanted Aspen back.

  The guys at Forbidden rearranged our schedules so I didn’t have to work either. Hell, even my sister had stopped calling so much. I had hurt her a lot by the way I’d yelled at her after finding out about her baby. And no matter how many times I’d apologized for blowing up at her, I sensed we’d lost something vital in our relationship.

  I probably should’ve called to check in with her, since she wasn’t updating me any longer. But I just couldn’t find the will. So, I did nothing but lie around, staring at my phone, waiting for Aspen to finally respond to one of my messages.

  In the past two days, I’d toned my texts down to just quotes for her collection. I’d already said everything I could think to say about everything else. Now I just had to remind her I was still here. Waiting. Loving her.

  When a knock fell on my apartment door Saturday evening, I leapt to my feet, breathless. I probably looked like shit. I hadn’t showered in at least three days, maybe four. And I’d worn the same sweatpants and shirt since...who knows when. Probably lost my razor for good. But if Aspen was here...

  In my haste to reach her, I tripped o
ver the messy coffee table, overflowing with energy drinks and snack food wrappers. After banging my knee against the corner, I limped forward and finally caught the front doorknob to yank it open.

  But it wasn’t Aspen.

  I squinted out at Pick, disappointment making my chest hurt. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  He rolled his eyes. “Apparently I’m your babysitter. Zero and the virgin are worried shitless about you. They don’t think it’s safe for you to stay alone right now, and since they’re both working tonight, I got elected to watch your unstable ass.”

  “Safe to stay alone?” I repeated incredulously. “Just what the hell do Ten and Hamilton think I’m going to do? Hurt myself?”

  “Hey, I told ’em you were a big boy, but...” He shrugged. “Tenning insisted. I think the kid’s got a big ol’ man-crush on you.”

  With a heavy sigh, I stepped back and opened the door wider for him. “Well, you might as well come in if you’re not going to leave.”

  “Uh...” Instead of stepping forward, Pick took one backward. “Actually, could you come with me instead? I had plans before my Save-Gotham Batman light went off to come running to your side.”

  Snorting out a laugh, I shook my head. “No way, pal. I’m not following you around on some raunchy date. I don’t play third wheel.”

  He chuckled. “Contrary to popular belief, I do not get laid every night of the week. And lucky you, you happened to catch me on an off night. Mason needed help fixing up an old turd car he bought. I was headed over there tonight to check it out.”

  “Lowe?” I lifted my brows with interest. “I didn’t know you two had gotten so cozy.”

  “Yeah, we’re a regular pair of BFFs now.” Rolling his eyes to match the dry sarcasm in his voice, Pick explained, “When he learned I also worked at an auto body shop, he asked for my take on his new ride, and I offered to look at it. That’s where I was headed when your boys called. So...are you coming along or what?”

  I paused. I didn’t want to be gone in case Aspen came back, but hell, I knew she wasn’t coming back. When that realization hit me, I clenched my teeth and looked away. Suddenly, I didn’t want to hang around here all night, feeling sorry for myself.