To Professor, With Love

by Linda Kage

  Air hissed from my teeth. “Oh, thank God.”

  “They wouldn’t let me leave,” he added on a frustrated sneer.

  “Wouldn’t let you? What did you—please don’t tell me you tried. God, Noel. You need this scholarship.”

  He stepped toward me. “You know what? I’m tired of everyone telling me what I need lately.” Setting his fists against the wall at either side of my head, he leaned in until our faces were inches apart. “What I need is you. No one gets me like you do. No one loves me like you do. You are everything. And when you went down because of me, a part of me died. I feel fucking broken because I couldn’t leave that damn place with you. I tried. I tried so hard to get them to bring you back. And when I threatened to leave, they threatened too. And now, if I go, they’ll make this whole thing public and drag your name through the mud. You’d never get to teach again, anywhere. So, here I am, stuck, unable to do a single fucking thing, while you take all the heat for—”

  “Shh.” I touched his face and stroked his cheek, offering him a wet smile. “It’s okay.”

  “No.” He gritted his teeth, snarling at me, and he mashed his forehead more firmly to mine. “It’s not fucking okay. What they did to you was not okay. They made what we had lurid, and dirty, and wrong. And it wasn’t. It just...wasn’t. I swear to God, you’re the only thing that’s ever been right in my life.”

  I leaned up onto my toes and smashed my mouth to his. He kissed me back savagely, grabbing my hair hard, and bruising my lips with his. I think he was trying to punish me, but it felt too good to be any kind of punishment. I ground back just as fiercely, needing to feel him and taste him and—

  He ripped his mouth from mine and wrenched himself away, squeezing his lips together as if they’d betrayed him. Glaring, he said, “Don’t ever do that again. If we were caught, we were supposed to go down together.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t recall ever making that deal.”

  “Damn it.” He came in close again, sinking his hands into my hair and cupping my head in his palms. “I could do nothing, Aspen. Do you even understand what that did to me? My hands are still tied, and I can’t do anything for you, while you can just blithely sacrifice your entire life for me? That’s not right. It’s not fair. Why didn’t you tell me what was going to happen? Some kind of warning—”

  “I wanted to do this for you, Noel.” Laying my palm on his cheek, I let out a content sigh. It didn’t matter what kind of turmoil was going on around us, right here in his arms, I felt home.

  “But why didn’t you tell me? And then after, why’d you leave without a word? Why didn’t you answer even one fucking text?”

  “Contact with you after this might’ve alerted the university that it was your arm in the picture. I didn’t want that. Plus I thought we could use a little time apart, to clear our heads and look at everything from a fresh perspective.” When his eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth, I rushed to add, “And I was a coward. If I’d gotten in touch with you, I knew I would’ve been tempted to come back.”

  “But you did come back.”

  My smile was tremulous. “I guess your power of temptation was stronger than I thought. I just can’t stay away.”

  A sob ripped from his throat. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled us flush together. This kiss was softer but just as greedy. “Is this it, then?” he asked, nipping at my jaw. “There’s nothing keeping us apart, so we can finally be together? Openly and permanently?”

  I bit my lip, and he felt my hesitation. Lifting his head, he gazed at me. “Shit,” he whispered. “I really don’t like that look in your eyes.”

  “I was offered a job,” I told him, “to teach at my university back home. Eight hundred miles away.”

  The breath rushed from his lungs as he stared. Then he dropped his hands from my face and slowly backed away. “So, you’re leaving. And I can’t follow. Jesus Christ.” Gripping his head, he spun away from me. “How many times do you plan on breaking my heart?”

  “No more, I hope.” Hugging my waist, I took a deep breath and took the biggest leap of my life. “Because I turned the job down.”

  He whirled back, his gaze zipping to me. “You what?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  “What? Are you crazy?” He came back, gripping my arms. “You can’t turn this down, Aspen. What if you can’t find a teaching job nearby?”

  I shrugged. “Then I won’t teach. I’ll do something else.”

  “But you love to teach.”

  This time, I nodded. “Yes, I do.”

  With a growl, he pressed even closer. “Do I have to throttle you, woman? You are not sacrificing anything else for me.”

  I just smiled. “Well, I’m not leaving you either. I may love to teach, but I love you more. Noel Gamble, my home is wherever you are, so I’m staying here.”

  He whimpered, and his hands on me began to tremble. “You should go.” His voice was strained, but he kept urging, “I know you want the job, I can tell. You should take it.”

  “I do want it,” I admitted. “But I don’t care. Like I said, I want you more.”

  Shaking his head, he just kept staring at me. “You say that now. But...in a few years, when you’re trapped here because of me, you’ll resent me and everything I kept you from. I need you to follow your dreams, Aspen.”

  “I am following my dream, Noel. Trust me. All I’ve ever wanted is to be loved.”

  “God help me.” He shuddered and I watched some of his resistance crack. “I do love you. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you, but—”

  “But that’s all I need,” I reassured him. Touching his face lightly, I repeated, “Believe me, I can get a job anywhere. It doesn’t have to be at the university or even community college level. I just like trying to fill people with the same appreciation of literature that I have. I will find work wherever I am. But I won’t find another you. I don’t want to leave you.”

  He folded. His shoulders fell and his body slumped into mine as his lips caught my temple. “I don’t want you to leave either.”

  “Then it’s settled. We’re all staying.”

  Noel kissed me again. “I love you. I love you so much. I don’t know how I could ever prove to you how much I love you.”

  He’d already proven it. No one had ever loved me the way he did. With every word and gesture, he showed me his feelings, and I relished each and every moment with him. He’d taught me what it was to love and be loved. He’d unleashed my inner child and helped me live in the moment. But he’d also given me a future to look forward to. It might be uncertain, but I couldn’t wait to start it. With him.

  I knew he’d tell me about what had happened with his siblings while I was away, just as I’d tell him about my parents. We had a lot to discuss, but I had a feeling we’d have plenty of time to talk about all that.

  Later.

  For now, I was too excited to know we’d actually have a later. So, I kissed him back and relished the present.

  EPILOGUE

  “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.” - Dr. Seuss

  ~ASPEN~

  “We start on To Kill a Mockingbird on Monday, which happens to be one of my favorite books, so if anyone wants to impress me, just do well on the essays for this story. Got it?”

  When half the class groaned, I shook my head and grinned. There would always be the naysayers, but I usually found one or two people who loved literature as much as I did. And that’s why I kept teaching, and why I kept coming back each day, excited to share my appreciation with them. I relished reaching students like the girl in the back corner who sat in a wheelchair as she eagerly listened to all my thoughts about the last story we’d just read.

  I opened my mouth to tell my sophomore class how I sensed they weren’t as enthusiastic to start the story as I was, but the bell rang, interrupting me. I still jumped every time that happened. It was one of the few things I missed about teaching at the college level. B
ut other than that, I was extremely content here.

  “Have a good weekend,” I called above the blare of my students gathering their things and making plans with their friends.

  For once, I was glad they were eager to leave, because so was I. This was my last class for the day, and I was anxious to check in with Noel to see how his day had gone.

  I started sweeping up everything I wanted to take home with me when I saw someone approaching my desk from the corner of my eye.

  Setting his hands on his hips and scowling from a familiar pair of periwinkle blue eyes, he hissed, “I can’t believe you just gave me a C on that paper. What the hell, Aspen?”

  I sighed. “Brandt—”

  “I mean, I know you said you weren’t going to show favoritism if I took your class, but really? A C? I actually tried to do a good job.”

  I knew I shouldn’t because he was genuinely upset, but I smiled fondly at the memory this conversation brought. “And yet you completely missed the point of the assignment,” I had to tell him.

  He opened his mouth to zing something back at me. He was too much like his brother not to fight back. But a pair of passing girls caught both of our attention as they giggled.

  “Oh, my God, did you see the new Econ teacher? He is so hot.”

  Brandt groaned as the other girl crowded in close to her friend and grasped her arm. “I know. I wonder what his name is, ’cause I want to enroll in that class.”

  “Hell, yeah. I heard he’s the new football coach, too.”

  “He is,” Brandt finally spoke up, startling them into breaking up their gossip session. When they lifted their faces and found Brandt Gamble speaking to them, they halted in their tracks and gaped openly.

  I’d heard one girl last week call my brother-in-law the sophomore dreamboat, so I guess the girls must’ve been frozen with awe to find themselves under the dreamboat’s attention.

  He sent them a knowing smirk. “And his name’s Gamble.” He gave a dramatic pause, waiting for it to kick in and the girls to gasp with realization before he added, “he’s my brother.”

  Their gazes immediately zipped my way. Everyone at East Ellamore High knew my relationship to Brandt. Faces flushed scarlet, the girls started gushing in unison.

  “I’m so sorry, Mrs. Gamble,” they started together, speaking over each other. “We didn’t mean any disrespect.”

  I shook my head and waved them silent. “Don’t worry about it. I can’t help but agree with you.” I winked. “He is pretty hot.”

  As Brandt snorted, the girls laughed out their relief and hurried for the exit, only to nearly collide with the topic of our conversation as he appeared on the doorway.

  “Sorry about that, ladies.” He stepped aside gracefully and swept out a hand for them to pass through first. They giggled and chorused, “Hi, Mr. Gamble,” as they fled.

  Brandt and I shared a look, and rolled our eyes in unison.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been called Mr. Gamble by so many people in one day before. It kind of skeeves me out,” Noel admitted, oblivious to everything that had just happened.

  He reached out and ruffled Brandt’s hair as he passed his brother. But his eyes were focused on me.

  “Hi.” His voice lowered to a husky pitch as he leaned in for a kiss.

  “Hi.” My toes curled in my flats as his lips lingered on mine. I reached up and clutched the tie he wore, amazed by how permissible it was to kiss him so openly inside a school building. But a lot had changed in the three years we’d been together. As he pulled back, slicking his tongue over his bottom lip as if to relish the lingering taste of me on him, something fluttered deep in my belly.

  I was the luckiest woman on earth to be married to this man.

  “Noel,” Brandt’s sharp voice cut into our moment. “Aspen gave me a freaking C on my paper.”

  Instead of scowling at me in irritation, my husband chuckled. He winked at me before telling his brother, “Well, she gave me two D’s, so I don’t feel sorry for you.”

  From the back of the room, what sounded like a pile of books clattered to the floor. The three of us turned to find one student struggling to make her way from the class. As one of the spokes on her wheelchair caught on a desk she was passing, it managed to jerk the pile of books right off her lap.

  Noel and I moved to help her, but my sixteen-year-old brother-in-law leapt in front of us.

  “Here. Let me get those for you, Sarah.” He bent and scooped them up in one graceful swoop.

  Sarah pulled back in surprise and ogled him a moment before she ducked her face, letting her dark hair spill forward and cover her scorching red cheeks.

  “Thank you,” she said in her shy, low voice. She reached out her arms to retrieve her things, her fingers quivering slightly as she did.

  But Brandt tucked them under his arm instead of handing them back. “I’ve got them. You headed to your locker?”

  Her head snapped up, eyes wide. “I...” When her mouth opened and a few garbled sounds came out, she snapped her teeth together and blushed even harder. “Yes,” she finally answered.

  Brandt sent her a friendly grin. “I’ll walk with you. My locker’s only a couple down from yours. Oh, here.” He quickly reached out and shoved aside the desk that had tripped up her wheelchair, giving her more than plenty of room to pass.

  Face lighting up, Sarah beamed at him as she rolled through, once again thanking him for his consideration.

  “So how’d you do on your paper?” He continued to smile down at her. Sarah’s answer was muffled as they moved into the hall together.

  Noel and I shared a glance. His eyebrows lifted. “Is it just me, or did it look like Mason Lowe’s little sister has a crush on my brother?”

  I laughed. “Well, half the girls in school have a crush on him, so I’d say it’s highly possible.”

  He groaned. “Really? He’s popular here? That’s so not fair.” His scowl was adorable.

  I leaned up to give him a quick kiss. “He fits in very nicely.”

  Noel sighed as if disgusted. “I guess it’s better than him almost getting jumped into a gang like he’d been at that other place that shall not be named.”

  All of his siblings had adjusted nicely to Ellamore. They hadn’t even seemed upset when their mother had granted Noel guardianship of them without a single protest. Caroline, Colton and Brandt had frankly bloomed under Noel’s care, even though it’d taken Colton a good year to warm up to us.

  “So how was your first day of teaching, Mr. Gamble?”

  I’d been stressed all day that he would regret taking the teaching position here. After he’d broken his collarbone his senior year of college during a football game and lost his chance to play for the NFL, I’d worried he’d eventually grow to hate the new life he’d had to make. And he’d come to resent me for urging him into changing his major to teaching and coaching.

  “It was kind of exhilarating, actually,” he said. “When I noticed people paying attention to me when I talked, I almost felt as if I might be able to make a difference in some kid’s life.”

  I could’ve told him he’d already made a difference in three very important kids’ lives. But he looked awed by the realization he’d just reached.

  “I’m anxious to start football practice and see what sort of team I’m going to have this season.”

  Which reminded me of the time. “Doesn’t that start in three minutes?” I arched my eyebrow, silently asking him what he was doing in my classroom.

  His blue eyes turned smoky. “Yes, it does. But knowing you were in here was too much temptation to resist. Seeing you in your ‘professor suits’ always reminds me of the days we first met.” He ran his fingers lovingly down the lapel of my blazer.

  “But now we don’t have to hide anything.”

  “Yeah.” He leaned in to kiss me again. “And it still feels too good to be true. I keep expecting someone to blow in here and tell us we can’t be together.” His arms wrapped possessively ar
ound my waist. “This time with you has been the best time of my life. I can’t thank you enough for coming back to me, for being my wife.”

  I rested my head on his heartbeat. “You’ve given me the best three years of my life too.” I patted his abs of steel and kissed his chin. “Now you better get going, Coach, before they decide to replace you on your first day.”

  “I’ll see you at home. Love you, babe.” He kissed me again before stepping back. I immediately missed his arms around me.

  “I love you too. Don’t give Brandt too hard of a time during practice.”

  Noel just grinned. “Oh, if he thinks you didn’t show him any family favoritism, just wait until he finds out how hard I’m going to ride his ass on the field.”

  He wiggled his eyebrows and blew me one last kiss before backing from the room.

  I let out a pleased sigh and sank into my desk chair. When I'd started working at Ellamore University that fateful semester, I'd had no clue my life would end up here. But I'm thrilled it had. Who knew I’d be insanely happy working at a high school while I was married to the football coach? Or that helping him raise his two younger brothers and sister, a junior in college now, would make me feel so complete? But here I was, more content than I'd ever been, and I wouldn’t change my life for anything in the world. All I'd ever wanted was to find love and be loved in return. But this had gone above and beyond. I was completely fulfilled.

  ***

  “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you’re all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.” - J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

  ~THE END~

  COMING NEXT

  in

  THE FORBIDDEN MEN

  SERIES:

  Pick and Eva

  (Be My Hero)

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Starting off with my family, thanks a bundle to Kurt and Lydia who have to put up with me day in and day out! I don't know how you guys do it, but I'm so grateful you do! Love you both.