Shadow of Nevermore

by Lilly Black

  "You should never be discouraged from trying anything," he said, his voice smooth and velvety as he leaned closer, and June felt her entire body tingle with anticipation. She remembered when Alek had kissed her, how excited she had been, but this was more intense. Alek had been there because Olivia had talked him into it, but Ravi was with her because there was no place else he would rather be. She could see it in his eyes as they peered into hers, only closing at the last second when, at long last, their lips met.

  Gently, he held her face in his hands as he kissed her, and despite that he wasn't even using his tongue, June sensed such an intense longing in him, her cheeks flushed with color, her nipples tightened into dots, and her bones felt like rubber as she melted into him. He teased her, tracing her lips with his tongue but denying her more until her desire had burgeoned into an aching need, then sensing it, he finally parted her lips and thrust it inside her mouth. She let out a muffled moan, her chest heaving as he pulled her body against him, his hand on the small of her back, the tips of his fingers slipping unintentionally inside the waistband of her jeans as it curved outward.

  Lower, she silently begged, hoping Ravi would just scoop her up, carry her into the bedroom, and do all of the things the Kama Sutra promised, but even though he had offered her no-strings sex, he was playing the long game. He wanted more. Perhaps giving her her first orgasm might have sealed her attachment to him, but he didn't want it that way. He wanted her to yearn for him as he had quietly yearned for her for the past two months, even in spite of the hateful, ethnocentric things that sometimes came out of those pretty, pink lips. He knew there was more to her than the ignorant ideas her upbringing had implanted, and he was going to open her mind along with her chakras.

  But not tonight.

  Tonight he had done all he had come to do, and though his cock was positively furious with him, when he ended the kiss, he ended the night. He brushed his hand softly down her cheek once more, thanked her for a lovely dinner, and told her he couldn't wait to see her again. Then he walked out the door, leaving June ashamed of how lust-filled she was at that moment - shamed yet determined to do something about it.

  She locked the door then hurried down the hall to her bedroom, remembering the words Dani had said.

  "It's your clit, your labia, your vagina. Go home, spread it out in the mirror, and get to know it."

  She slipped off her jeans and laid on the bed, nervously wringing her hands where they rested on her belly. She wanted to do this, but it just felt so weird and kind of sad. This was a hurdle that should have been jumped years ago, and even though her upbringing made her terrified to touch her clit as a teenager, it sure as hell should have been Jimbo's responsibility. Yet here she was at 35-years-old trying to figure out how to masturbate.

  God, I hate my life, she thought as she forced her right hand between her legs before all of the excitement Ravi had caused had a chance to wear off. She was wet, which made it easy to glide over her most sensitive flesh, but she wasn't sure where her clit was now that it wasn't fully erect. She had felt it earlier without touching it because it was aching, but now, the tiny thing was barely detectible.

  She tried to clear her mind of her frustrations by focusing on Alek because he had been the first man who ever really turned her on, but even though she still thought he was the most perfect man she'd ever seen, his face kept morphing into Ravi's. And once Ravi had taken over her thoughts, she flooded with arousal as her clit came back to life.

  Pleased, she began massaging it, trying different things, pressing down, swirling, flickering back and forth until she found what she liked best, then as she kept herself focused on him, she started moving her fingers faster, accelerating as quickly as her clit could tolerate. It felt so good, she almost entirely forgot about all of the deeply ingrained negativity that surrounded that act and that particular part of her body as endorphins began to slowly release inside her, but ultimately, she hit a plateau from which she could not ascend no matter what she tried. She wasn't willing to give up. She just couldn't figure out how to get herself to the next level. Wishing she had taken Olivia up on her offer of a vibrator, she struggled not to let her frustration destroy all of her progress. Then she remembered that she did have something that vibrated...sort of. She had a battery operated toothbrush in the en suite bathroom.

  Wondering if it would do the trick, she got up and hurried in only to be interrupted by the sounds of her sons coming through the front door. She sighed, frustrated, and washed her hands, knowing she was going to have to get herself together because the boys were already calling out to her.

  When she entered the living room, Isaiah could not stop gushing about how much he enjoyed working with Gary and how he was looking forward to doing it again. Noah had shadowed Rey, and while he was interested in continuing to do his part for the safety of the community, he was not nearly as animated as his brother. Isaiah had learned a lot more than how to scan the woods for zombies, and that's what he was really excited about. But he didn't want to tell his mother because he knew she wouldn't approve. When they cut it short and went off to their room without protests from their mom, he was relieved. So was June because her mind was still in bed with Ravi.

  Of course, there was no way she was going to be able to pick up where she left off now.

  Day 51

  Reid and Amina

  Olivia and Alek had just returned to their room after dinner when there was an unexpected knock. Alek opened the door to find Reid standing there, and Olivia could see a physical change in both men as they faced each other. Alek did his best not to show it, but he was instantly pissed. Whatever Reid was here for, he was overstepping his bounds. Olivia belonged to Alek for three more nights.

  "I'm sorry to bother you," Reid said, the words bitter lies in his mouth as he apologized to the man who was sleeping in his bed with his wife. "I just came to see if Evie would like to come hang out with me for a little while."

  "Of course," Alek said flatly as he stepped out of the way and let Reid enter. Olivia called Evil in from her room, and when Reid spoke her name, she rushed over toward him, stopping suddenly when she realized both he and Alek were standing there. It was as if the cat was having the same dilemma as everyone else since Reid came home.

  "Have fun, sweet girl," Alek said as he walked by her, giving her a quick scratch behind the ear, and she leaned into him, scent marking his leg with the side of her face before she continued on to Reid.

  "You seriously haven't introduced Amina to your youngest daughter yet?" Olivia asked.

  "Well, after she saw men crucified at the gate yesterday, I was afraid to add the fact that there is a semi-free-range jaguar on the premises," Reid said.

  "Oh, shit. I completely forgot to explain the bodies at the gate," Olivia said, then she gave him a serious stare. "Listen, Reid, I need you to understand and make sure Amina understands that you guys cannot tell anyone what I am about to tell you."

  "I promise," he said, suddenly fearful of what was coming next, but when Olivia explained, he was actually relieved.

  "No one was crucified. They're just random corpses we nailed up there as a deterrent."

  "But you have to keep that a secret," Alek added. "We need people to believe that the queen's justice is swift and terrifying."

  "I get it, and Amina will be pleased to hear it. She's pretty scared of you, Liv," Reid said with a laugh.

  "Well, I am the Bloody Queen," she said with a roll of her eyes.

  "This is so fucking weird," Reid said, then he sighed and gave Evil a pat on the head as she stood quietly by him. "I'll bring her back in about an hour. Is that okay?"

  "It's fine...or you can call me, and I'll come get her," Olivia said, then she stepped into the office and picked up a blank journal from the desk. "And give this to Amina for me. I've been keeping a journal for posterity, and I thought she might like one, too."

  "That's thoughtful, Liv. Thanks," he said. Then he left, and as Alek watched the cat follow R
eid out through the office, he felt a sense of sadness as if everything he cared about was slipping away from him.

  "She still loves her other daddy," Olivia said, recognizing the look on his face, and he smiled, embarrassed.

  "I know it's silly, but the way that cat has accepted me really makes me feel, I don't know, special, I guess," he admitted.

  "Come over here," she said, patting the bed. "I'll make you feel special, Daddy."

  "Don't call me that. It's fucking creepy," he said.

  "But I've been such a bad girl," she continued teasing him.

  "And I'll put you over my knee if it turns you on, but if you call me Daddy one more time, it won't be the kind of spanking you have in mind," he threatened as he stood over her, and she giggled, pulling him down on the bed and making him forget all about Reid, at least for the next hour.

  Down the hallway, Reid opened the door to Amina's room slowly so he could enter before the cat, but as Evil slipped in behind him, Amina's eyes grew wide because he had never mentioned anything about a massive, black jaguar.

  "What the fuck is that?" she demanded, her accent making the curse word come out almost charming.

  "It's okay. She won't hurt you," he assured her, stroking the cat's head.

  "Oh, my God! She's beautiful! Can I pet her?" she asked, and Reid led Evil over to the bed where he sat down. The cat hopped up and sniffed at Amina before making herself comfortable.

  "Her name is Evil," Reid said. "Some drug dealer in Charleston bought her as a cub, and when he was raided, a friend of mine on the police force knew my wife rescued animals, so that's how we ended up with her."

  "Is that why you named her Evil?" she asked.

  "Nah, she came with a tag on her collar, and all it said was Evil. I don't know if it was her name or not, but it just kinda stuck. Plus it was pure evil how she had us wrapped around her little finger from the beginning."

  "Well, she doesn't seem too evil. She's amazing. Why didn't you tell me about her?" Amina asked.

  "The same reason I didn't tell you much about Savannah or Olivia. It was too hard. I was scared to death I was going to get here and find that they were all gone," he said, then trying to change the subject, he handed her the journal Olivia had given him. "By the way, Olivia sent you this diary. She said she thought you might be able to use it. I guess people are keeping them for historical purposes or something."

  "Thanks," she said as she set it aside and went right back to her questioning. "So, you didn't even want to tell me about your pet, yet you showed Chase and Mateo photos of your family? When your wife came to get us yesterday, they recognized her from pictures on your phone, but you never showed me any."

  "They were probably snooping when they were using that hand crank charger so they could access the map app," he said. "It's good to know that you didn't snoop."

  "I'm not like that," she said. "But is your wife?"

  "Huh?"

  "I don't know. I mean, the diary was a really sweet idea because I think it would do me good to be able to get my feelings out on paper, but are you sure she wouldn't sneak in and read it?"

  "Olivia would never do anything like that."

  "Yeah, well, you probably also never thought she'd crucify people either," she said, and Reid laughed. Then he passed along the information from his wife about the crucifixions, and Amina could not have been more relieved. After Reid left to take Evil back to her room, though still suspicious of Olivia's motivations with the journal, she found an ink pen in the drawer of the nightstand and started her diary.

  Amina's Journal, First Entry

  Day 51

  What have I gotten myself into? I can't decide if I've died and gone to hell or won the lottery. If I got both Reid and Aleksander Hellström all to myself, that would definitely be hitting the jackpot, but I don't know about sharing with Reid's wife. She scares the hell out of me. She's so confident and laid back but so powerful. I hate to think of what she could do to me if she decided she wanted both of them all to herself. I think I'm safe for now, though. If I hadn't come here with her husband, his homecoming would have been a major shit storm for her. So, while she probably hates me on the one hand, on the other, I'll bet she's glad I'm here.

  But how long will that last?

  I need to keep my guard up and make sure to trust no one, to tell no one my secrets. I can never let Olivia find out...

  When Reid opened the bedroom door, it startled Amina, who immediately snapped her journal closed. He was carrying a hotel room safe, and he showed her how to program it so she could keep her journal inside. She felt a lot better about the journal after that, but she also realized that Olivia and Reid would both know how to bypass any code she chose. It's the reason she had never intended to finish the last sentence in her first entry anyway and the reason she started right off alluding to a secret. She did have a secret. It was a big one that she feared would make Reid hate her, but she was only alluding to it to determine if one of them was sneaking into the room and reading her journal. They'd eventually let that slip somehow because the curiosity would be overwhelming.

  Day 52

  It was 9:00 PM when Reid, Jax, Aiden, and John left for their recon mission at the prison, and the departure was awkward. Amina came to see Reid off, and though Olivia needed to do the same, she suddenly felt she had to be more restrained because Alek was there, having come out to talk to Jax. As a precaution, the men were taking two separate cars, and Rena had equipped them with four drones to fly into the prison yard after dark - one to map the grounds and surrounding area, one to map the building, one with the best audio equipment to listen outside the windows, and one dedicated to Death Row. Each drone had an associated laptop, and though no one really wanted the one connected to that fourth drone, Jax volunteered, believing he would be able to compartmentalize it better than the rest if Death Row turned out to be as horrifying as described.

  "Are you okay, man?" Alek asked him as they stood by the car while Rena carefully oversaw the loading of her equipment.

  "I'm not looking forward to this," he said.

  "Just remember that no matter what you see, you have to get back here safely. We'll go in later with a plan," Alek assured him.

  "I'm not going to go off half-cocked and get myself killed over it, Alek. That's why you aren't coming on this mission," Jax said with a smirk, and Alek laughed.

  "Alright, brother," he said. "Be safe." He gave him a slap on the back and returned to the porch, assuming Dani would be waiting to take over for him, but she wasn't there. She had told Jax goodbye in their cabin, and that's what was bothering him. It was unlike her, and the fact that she wasn't standing by his car and pressuring him to send Alek instead made him suspicious.

  Jax slumped into the driver's seat as Liana held onto Aiden by the passenger side, and outside the other vehicle, John was hugging his wife and kids while Amina clung to Reid as if she would never let go. Over his shoulder, he looked into his wife's eyes. Standing by her on the porch, Alek could see how much she wanted to say goodbye to her husband, and as soon as Amina turned toward them, he took action, calling out her name.

  "Can you help me with something?" he asked, giving Olivia a wink as Amina walked over to him. Olivia smiled then snickered as he began to explain to Amina why he needed her advice regarding the new layout of the great hall. It wasn't a very good excuse, but it gave Olivia the time and privacy she needed. She hurried to the car for a moment with her husband that was quickly usurped as Savannah and Evil came rushing out the front door. The cat practically knocked him over, but at least Olivia got to kiss him goodbye. After thinking he was dead, she would always say goodbye to him as if it was the last time they'd ever see each other, and so would his daughters, human and feline.

  It took nearly two hours for the men to drive the forty miles to their destination in Beaver, WV, following a series of backroads and driving slow with no headlights through areas where they feared their presence might attract the wrong kind of attention. Th
ey had no idea where the Sinner was located, but now that they knew about him and his group, they were taking every precaution. The moon was waxing, which made it easier to see than it would have been a few nights earlier, but Rena had sent night vision goggles with everyone just in case.

  They drove to a little known access road that John was aware of from working for a delivery company when he was younger, and they had to trek through the woods carrying their equipment from there. They got as close as they considered safe because the batteries on the drones would have to be replaced every twenty minutes. This meant that most of them would have to be deployed numerous times, but once Jax was able to locate Death Row, he only had to send his drone out once more to get the footage he needed. And it was much worse than he could have imagined.

  On the second trip after he had found the men at the prison gathered in the Death Row common area, he saw Rundo beating on the cells just like Austin had described, calling the women to the front so they could pick a new one as they shoved a broken and bloodied one back into her cage, and this was the part he showed his companions to prove that the reports were not exaggerated. He had footage from the second trip to show what happened next, but the others were all willing to take his word for it after the briefest of descriptions.

  Jax put his drone back in its case and closed down his laptop, and with plenty of aerial shots of the prison, the road, and woods, Aiden's work was complete as well. Eventually, they were all just sitting around while John continued to use his drone to look in every window to map as much of the interior as they could in case Austin's recollections were off. Reid sent the audio drone out periodically, but he was waiting for the men to leave Death Row. There was really no point in recording what was happening there, and Jax had never wanted to get anything out of his head more in his life.

  "So, how are things working out for you and your wife?" he asked Reid as they leaned against the trees.