Shadow of Nevermore

by Lilly Black

  At least she was wearing them when they all gathered in the lodge for dinner. It made Jax feel a little better, but he was still full of suspicion. After his shift ended in the morning, her meetings began, and they hadn't seen each other all day. She had so many opportunities to be unfaithful, and the fact that she seemed to be having trouble prioritizing her wedding ring was not helping to ease Jax's mind.

  They stepped onto the porch of the lodge hand in hand, the picture of a happy couple, and only those who knew them really well were aware that both were always consumed by the fear that the other was cheating. Their friends did have to admit, however, that Dani seemed to have relaxed of late, no longer giving Alek the third degree about Jax's activities when she wasn't around, but of course, no one knew that was because Jax was rarely completely out of her sight anymore.

  "What's going on?" Dani asked as she looked through the window and noticed the dinner table on the platform before the thrones, all nine of which were finished now - ornate and royal in appearance.

  "We're integrating the new people into the community," Amina whispered as she and Reid arrived, and Dani knew that meant they had to present an intimidating front.

  "We're also going to hear their confessions," Reid added on his way into the lodge.

  "Yeah, except for Aiden's," John balked angrily as he and Alek showed up directly from patrolling the lower ring. John was the only one who didn't sit on the board of founders who knew what Aiden had done, and though he understood why Aiden wasn't being punished for it, he wasn't sure he agreed with it.

  "What happened?" Jax asked.

  "You don't even want to know, brother," John said. "But at least those motherfuckers Rundo and Brock are dead."

  "Two out of three ain't bad," Jax grumbled.

  "I hope you'll find resolution on that tonight," Olivia whispered as she arrived. "Dr. Farrell and James will be pleading their cases before the community tonight."

  "You really enjoy this, don't you?" Aiden accused as he and Liana walked up the stairs toward the porch.

  "Is that what you think?" Olivia asked. "I hate this. I hate those thrones. I hate being in charge of things, and I hate the decisions I have to make. But as long as this community needs me to do those things, I'll serve."

  "Oh, you're such a good Samaritan," he mocked her.

  "She is, Aiden, and someday, you'll see that," Alek said, then he took Olivia's arm and escorted her directly to the center throne to drive the point home to Aiden that it was by Olivia's grace that he wasn't sitting in a cell. He also wondered how many more times they would have to suffer Aiden's resistance for Liana's sake before it got them into real trouble.

  "What are we going to do with him?" Olivia lamented under her breath as Alek sat on her right side.

  "We're going to put him out of our minds and deal with him later because you're mine tonight, Olivia," he breathed in her ear, reminding her that she had other priorities. On Olivia's left, Reid sat beside Amina, and though she was beaming because he was hers again, he was glaring out of the corner of his eye at his rival, wondering if his wife had been counting the days until he would be back with her. Neither man was handling it as well as Olivia, but Reid was definitely taking it the hardest, especially now that he had spent four nights with his wife in his bed.

  The tension along the front wall where the leaders sat upon their thrones was thick, but as dinner was served and they looked out over the happy people of their kingdom, their personal concerns began to wane because this was why they were doing what they did - the parents who could feed and protect their children, the children themselves who could grow up without the constant threat of being torn apart by corpses, the older people who wouldn't have had a chance out in the world alone.

  Then there was the real threat the founders had to protect their people from - other people. When dinner was over, the dishes cleared, and the table removed from the pedestal, the time came to welcome the new members and give them a healthy dose of fear in case any of them had designs on taking this place over like the first man she executed. The fifteen women rescued from the prison had been immediately given homes within the walls, but the four men had been placed in the bugged cabin in the woods of the middle ring and observed since yesterday. They would spend several more days there, but tonight they would begin taking their meals with the community. Tomorrow, they would be assigned work during the day, probably on the middle ring wall unless there were any carpenters who could help with the expansion of the lodge. With the latest influx, the Deadfall's numbers were over one hundred, though adding fifteen women still didn't bring the male/female ratio into line as the men still outnumbered the women at almost two to one. With places like the prison, it was no wonder.

  Once properly welcomed and introduced, the time came for the new members to see what justice looked like in the Deadfall. Last night was not typical, and it was important to Olivia that they understood that while justice was swift, they did have due process. She started with the doctor because she felt like it would be the more difficult of the two cases, but despite a glaring condemnation by Jax, once Dr. Gorely spoke for herself and Dr. Farrell, the people voted to give him a chance. Jax didn't like it because he would always be disgusted by what he saw at the prison, and Olivia didn't like it because she worried he was getting respect he may not have been due just based on the PhD after his name. Before she called James out for his trial, she was compelled to remind the people that everyone in the Deadfall was equal from the queen to the person who shovels the horseshit out of the stables, though that shouldn't really have been necessary since the queen could be found shoveling in the stables herself from time to time.

  Then she had James brought to the main hall where they reiterated the evidence against him as well as reminding everyone what the people from the solar farm had said in his defense, then a woman from the prison stood up and asked to speak. It was Frisco. She had been at the prison the longest, and she knew every woman who came and went on Death Row. April had only been on Death Row for a few hours, claimed as a private sex slave before she was ever subjected to the same horrors as the other women, though Frisco figured she would have suffered plenty of horrors from the man who claimed her...if she had lived long enough.

  "He wanted to stick around for the nightly party, so he ordered one of the grunts to stick her in one of the rooms where they kept their private slaves," Frisco explained. "A couple hours later, he left Death Row, then he came right back with her dead body. She had busted up a chair and used a sharp edge of the broken wood to open her wrists."

  "Oh, God, no!" James cried.

  "It's what a lot of us would have done if we could have. They were careful about what they put in our cells so we couldn't kill ourselves, but April outsmarted them," Frisco said to James, then she felt compelled to comfort him. "When they put her on Death Row that day, she was right beside me, and we talked a lot. She had forgiven you because she knew you made the choices you made trying to do the best you could to protect her. She loved you."

  As everyone witnessed James break down in front of them, they saw him for what he was - a frightened kid in an impossible world, and Frisco believed she had done the right thing in lying about April's feelings. Though it was true that they had talked, April had been angry with James, blaming him instead of forgiving him, but after hearing the story from both sources, she saw no reason that the boy should suffer any more than he already had.

  "He shouldn't be held accountable for what happened to April," Frisco said to the queen. "His intentions were noble."

  "But that's not why James is on trial," Porter argued as if he was itching for an execution. "He's on trial for treason."

  "Treason that I believe was being forced upon him!" Aiden shouted. "I was against executing Billy. You all know that, and you disagreed, but give James a chance. We know that Billy intended to take this place over if he could. James has said that he went along with Billy with the hope that he could alert us. We'll never know if t
hat's true, but if we execute him, we're no better. There's been enough death."

  The crowd grew loud with differing opinions, the noise only dying down when Olivia called for a vote, and by a wide margin, largely thanks to Frisco's story, James was given the same probationary status as the doctor. Now, the only thing left to discuss was Aiden, and for that, they would adjourn to the war room. Olivia explained everything that had happened, and Aiden immediately started to feel wrath from the others.

  "Not all of you were there last night!" he shouted. "You don't know what it was like. You don't know what they did to those men!"

  "We know exactly what they did," Jax replied, "and it wasn't half of what they deserved. Watch a few minutes of the video I recorded from Death Row and tell me if you still have sympathy for them."

  "Look, I understand that what they did was monstrous, but that doesn't mean we have to be monsters ourselves," he said, then he turned to June. "Like you, June. Remember that pill you gave me? The pill you said would make the torture easier on them?"

  June shrunk in her seat, ashamed.

  "Did you give him the Viagra, June?" Olivia asked, and she nodded. "It's okay. Nobody in their right mind cares what you did to those men." Aiden took in a sharp breath, but as June began to speak, he held off.

  "Frisco asked me to do it, and after she told me her story, I thought it was the right thing to do," she confessed, and as she continued talking, she grew more animated. "It was an eye for an eye. She was a guard at the prison, and they had been raping and beating her since the beginning. The things they did to her...you don't even want to know, but I knew that no matter what Olivia allowed to happen, it would never be bad enough. We should have kept them locked up and tortured them every night for months like they did those women, so Aiden, I am sorry if it was hard to watch them getting their penises cuts off, but it's nothing compared to what they deserved."

  "You cut off their dicks?" Reid asked. He hadn't heard that part yet.

  "I didn't," Olivia said. "Frisco did, but if she wanted it done and hadn't been able to, I would have. It was afterward that Aiden let them go. So, he set two former brutal rapists with their dicks cut off free. Those men would have had nothing left to look forward to in life but revenge. Can you not see that?"

  "She's right about that part," Liana said. "If they had survived, they would have stopped at nothing."

  "Or they might have been forced to take a long, hard look at themselves and..." Aiden began.

  "Oh, my fucking God, shut the fuck up!" Jax roared. "There may be some people out there who try to make their peace with the universe at large under those circumstances, but they are not those people, and because of them, plenty of other people never got a chance to do that, like the pregnant woman they threw out to the dead while she was miscarrying! Rundo ordered that. We have the recording of it!"

  "I'm done arguing with you people," Aiden spat, and he walked out the door.

  "We're not done with you," Alek called after him, but he was gone.

  "Yeah, we are," Liana said. "He's upset, but he knows he was wrong, and he won't do it again. I promise."

  "I get that, but if anyone finds out about what we let him get away with, we could have serious problems around here," Olivia warned her. "If anyone else had made the decisions Aiden did last night, we would be forced to act, and this is the last time I will stand by and allow anyone in this room to have special treatment. Everyone at the Deadfall is equal. It should never matter who your friends are."

  Around the table, the others nodded.

  "I understand," Liana admitted. "And I agree. We can't build a fair society if the leaders aren't also fair. That's something Aiden will understand as well. I promise you that. I'll have him limit his protests to signs and slogans." She said the last part with a snarky look as she followed Aiden's path out of the door, and Olivia shook her head. She understood Aiden. Before the apocalypse she thought more like him than he would believe if she told him, but she had adapted. He would have to adapt or die, and as Liana ran into him right outside the door, she thought that maybe he was starting to.

  "I heard what Olivia said, and she's right," he told her with fallen posture. "I went too far, and I won't do it again. I won't jeopardize you, mon cœur. I'm sorry."

  "Don't be sorry, Aiden. I love everything about you, especially your commitment to doing what's right," she said, and she took his hand to lead him home. He hadn't changed his opinion, but he realized that he picked the wrong time to make his stand. Rundo and Brock were not sympathetic characters by any stretch. Perhaps if he had done this when they were executing Billy Behney or if he had waited for the next time to come along - and there would be a next time - he would have had better luck convincing the others that they were wrong. He was afraid that his poor timing would make it impossible to get the rest of the Deadfall's rulers to ever see his point of view, but he would not let fear rule his decisions, not even now that they lived in the perfect world for which fear had evolved.

  Olivia's Journal

  Day 60

  Last night before Alek came to bed, I went to the closet where I stored the sex toys we used to keep on the menu for the cabins with romantic themes since he asked me to pencil him in to get fucked tonight. I selected a harness and a smallish toy to fit it that was phallic in shape but not a flesh tone dick with veins or anything. I didn't want to scare him right out of the gate, and to that end, I also grabbed a few other toys, including a metal butt plug designed to stimulate the prostate. It was smooth and about the size of a golf ball, a little larger in diameter than the latex rod I picked out but much less daunting.

  Though I had only planned to warm him up with that one, I never even made it past using my fingers, completely unprepared his intense reaction. I should have had him do me first because I prefer a man hard and aching when his face is between my legs, but last night, I had to settle for high out of his mind on his own dopamine.

  When he got out of the shower, I had the toys, lube, a glove, and a blindfold laid out across the bottom of the bed and the desk chair wheeled in from the office, and I could see the apprehension in his expression as I approached him, dressed in a severe, black merry widow to play up the Dom angle since I was taking charge of him. I didn't have a whip or anything, just the wardrobe, but I could tell he liked it when his rising cock pulled the towel loose from his hips. It hit the floor, revealing the rest of Alek's exquisite body as he stood before me...Aleksander Hellström at my mercy. It was the sort of fantasy I never even allowed myself to indulge in before the end of the world.

  I took his hand and led him to the chair, and he was so uncharacteristically timid as he eyed the toys, it gave me a rush, making me feel powerful as I instructed him to sit. The chair was facing the bed as I locked the wheels, then I sat on the bed facing him, leaning in to kiss him to distract him from what was going to happen next, but even though he was nervous about it, I could tell how much he wanted it. It's my theory that most men do. They're just afraid of what it says about their masculinity. Alek is the sort of man who never has to worry about that, but just to be sure, I planned to start this kneeling before him rather than standing over him like I will when I fuck him with the strap-on.

  I began to kiss my way down his body as I slid to the floor between the chair and the bed, then I placed his feet on the bed with his knees bent, instructing him to slide his ass off the edge of the chair. Cautiously, he followed my command, and once he was in position, I turned my attention to his cock for a moment. God, I love Alek's cock. It's size and shape are perfect when he's inside me, and when I have him in my mouth, I love the feeling of his smooth, taut flesh against my lips as I suck him into me and spit him out again. Losing myself in the sensation, I almost forgot what I was here to do - almost.

  I slipped my left hand into the rubber glove, and I when I snapped it for effect, Alek's body jolted, making me giggle.

  "Relax," I whisper. "You're going to love this."

  Still teasing his coc
k with my tongue, I opened the lube and got my gloved fingers slathered in it before I made the first, tentative circle over my target. He shuddered, then embarrassed, his posture stiffened. Smiling, I reached for the blindfold, handing it to him.

  "Put this on, lean back, and let go of your inhibitions," I commanded.

  "Yes, ma'am," he said, slipping it over his eyes.

  Realizing he needs a little more distracting, I hold my left hand still and I grab his cock and balls in my right, moving them out of my way to get to his perineum where I slowly snake my tongue over him, teasing him and making him forget about what's coming. When I feel his body completely relaxed again, I kissed upward, sucking his balls into my mouth one at a time as I swirled my tongue around them, my right hand lightly massaging his rigid cock as my left moved back into position. Then I gently slipped the tip of my finger inside him. He gasped as I held it there, focusing on his cock and balls until I felt like he was ready for more.

  I pushed in a little farther, palm up as I curved my finger back toward my body in a come hither arch until it made the first contact with his prostate. A moan escaped his lips, and as I began to make circles with my finger and suck his cock at the same time, all of the uneasiness seemed to drain out of him. He slid forward, giving me better access, and I pulled my finger back to add a second one, gently pushing both into him and letting them take turns at pressing that button inside that made his cock harder than I'd ever felt it before.

  "Oh, fuck, Olivia," he growled, thrusting his cock into my mouth, and though I had been planning for this to just be a brief step as I worked toward the toy then the strap-on, as his legs began to tremble, I realized none of those other things were going to happen if I didn't stop. But I was enjoying his reactions so much, I couldn't stop.