Shadow of Nevermore

by Lilly Black

  As he fumed, thinking his new wife was cheating at that very moment, she followed him, so angry herself that the molecules of air around her became heated to the extent that Jax broke out in a heavy sweat in the otherwise bitter cold, winter day. It only served to convince Dani that he was perspiring because he was nervous about being caught, and her fury grew to the point that the blistering hot air that trailed Jax down the mountain began to catch fire. Jax saw it in his peripheral vision, and as he began to turn toward her, Dani panicked, rushing away so quickly, the small, flickering flames went out.

  Jax looked around, trying to figure out where the flash of light had come from. To the right of the path was a large pile of raked leaves that had all turned brown, and to the left was copse of pine trees. Then he noticed something brightly colored peeking out from behind the trunk of one tree. He went in for a closer look and found the clothes that Dani had left there the first morning after the witch's spell was cast upon her. Dani had completely forgotten about them, but Jax recognized the sweater. He picked up everything, and certain that this proved her infidelity, he carried them back down toward their cabin to wait for her to return.

  Meanwhile, Dani was far away from the inner ring, having blown down to the edge of a pond at the foot of the mountain, where she could be alone with a large amount of water available to her. She had caught fire and wanted to know if she could do it again, but she didn't know how or why it happened. She didn't realize that it was sparked by her extreme anger with Jax, nor did she realize that once her fascination overpowered her fury, the path was lost to her. She spent more than an hour trying everything she could think of to set herself alight again before she finally accepted defeat and went home where Jax was waiting.

  When Dani entered the cabin, it was dark. Remembering why she had been so mad at Jax, she began calling out his name, but he didn't respond until she came down the hallway and stepped into the bedroom where he sat in the chair in the corner beside a single lamp. The scenario alone told her something wasn't right even before her eyes adjusted to allow her to see the look of pure wrath on his face, which completely took the sting out of her plans to confront him about looking in the windows of the women from the prison.

  "What's wrong?" she asked.

  "I don't know. You tell me," he replied coldly.

  "I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, truly confused.

  "Oh, you have no idea?" he demanded, his demeanor calm and cool despite the venom in his voice. Then he pulled down a small stack of folded clothes from the top of the dresser and tossed them in her direction. "Let's start with this."

  "I don't understand," she said because at first she didn't realize the significance of that particular outfit, but as she stared at the jeans, sweater, and panties lying on the floor, it dawned on her that these were the clothes she was wearing the day after the witch cast the spell on her.

  "Why were your clothes under a tree up the hill from our cabin, Dani?" he asked. "Why is your wedding ring on the vanity more often than it's on your finger? Why don't you answer when I call you anymore?"

  "It's not what you're thinking, Jax, I swear," she said.

  "Then what is it?"

  "It's..." she began, but then she hesitated, afraid he would be freaked out by what she had become and reject her. "It's a series of coincidences. That's all."

  "Coincidences?" he asked, his words dripping with suspicion and disgust as she worked out the lies inside her head.

  "Yes. The clothes were there because I was taking them up to one of the women from the prison. I got a call that a different one was having an anxiety attack, and I laid them down for just a minute, then I guess I forgot about them. That's why you have trouble reaching me when you call. If I'm counseling, I don't answer. I need to give them my full attention. They've been through so much."

  "I want to believe you, Dani," he said. "I really, really do, but here's the problem with your story. I went looking for you today, and I checked everywhere. I know you weren't with any of the women from the prison because I saw them all in their cabins. Now, would you like to tell me where you were today?"

  "I was..."

  "Wait a minute. Before you make up your next lie, I have a question about the clothes. Why were you just taking one single outfit? And what are the odds that the woman you were taking it to had all the same sizes as you right down to the shoes?" he glanced at a pair of boots sitting on the dresser. "And perhaps most importantly, isn't it kind of fucked up that you were taking her clothes, including panties, that had been worn? I mean, I don't know how long they were out there, but they smelled more like your perfume than your fabric softener. So, before you tell me some bullshit lie about that or your wedding ring, just keep in mind that I've thought this through."

  Dani didn't know what to do. She was caught, and when she slipped her left hand behind her back to adjust the size of her ring finger so she could claim that the wedding band was too large, she realized she was fucked on that front as well. She had forgotten to put her rings back on after she returned to her human form again. With a heavy sigh, she sat down on the bed, knowing the time had come.

  "Okay," she said as she resigned herself to whatever fate the truth would bring. "I'm going to tell you everything, but you're not going to like it."

  Jax gave her a smirk, thinking his suspicions were about to be vindicated.

  "About two weeks ago, I went to see the Witch of the Wellspring. I was worried about you cheating on me. I just wanted her to, I don't know, look into her crystal ball and give me some sort of assurance, but instead she cast a spell on me. That spell is the reason for all of these things, Jax. It's why my clothes were under the trees, why I go missing, and why I have to leave my rings behind. I've wanted to tell you for a long time now, but I've been afraid because I didn't know how you'd react, or if you'd still love me if you knew that I'm..." She trailed off, afraid to say it.

  "If I knew that you're what?" he asked.

  "...that I'm not entirely human anymore."

  "Oh, for fuck's sake, Dani, just shut the hell up!" he roared, infuriated by what he thought was an even more ridiculous lie than the last. "Do you think this is funny? Do you know why I threw my old wedding ring off into the woods without a second thought? Because she cheated on me! We had an open marriage, but she's the only one who really cheated! She never loved me. She loved my money, my status, being the wife of Jax fucking Bonham, but she never loved Jackson Bonham, the poor kid from Jersey who dropped out of high school because he was working so hard on being a fucking rock star! That's all I am now, Dani! Just some poor guy without even a high school education, but I didn't care about that because I thought I had you. I thought you loved me - the real me." He looked down at the floor, defeated. "I guess I was wrong."

  "No, Jax, you're not wrong. I do love you. I love you more than anything in the world, and everything I've done since the beginning of the end has been for you. I swear it."

  "Then why won't you tell me the truth?" he pleaded.

  "I'm trying," she said.

  "No, you're lying! Every fucking word that has come out of your mouth since you walked into this room has been a lie to cover up whatever you're really doing, and I'm not going to stay with another fucking liar!" he shouted, standing up and getting in her face, and Dani was suddenly so angry, she could feel her molecules boiling as she struggled to keep them from flying apart. As the air between them expanded slightly, the heat began to cause her to rise

  "I'm not lying to you," she growled through gritted teeth, and Jax fell back into his chair as he noticed that she was hovering a few inches off the ground, her arms slowly separating into a tight-knit swarm as she continued to shout at him. "The witch cast a spell on me, and that's what's been happening!

  "I couldn't control my clothes when it first started, so they fell off, and I still can't control my rings, so I have to leave them behind because I don't want to lose them! You are everything to me, Jax! I became this for you! I des
troyed the whole fucking world for you!"

  With that, she let herself become entirely disconnected, and she flew around the room, moving the curtains, blowing through Jax's hair so he could see that there was no trick to it. She may have tried to lie in the beginning, but now the floodgates were open. Jax was about to learn absolutely everything as he sat in stunned silence while Dani reconstituted before his eyes.

  "You wanted to know the truth?" she asked. "Be careful what you wish for, Jackson Bonham."

  Dani's Journal

  Day 65

  Today, I unloaded on Jax. I knew he was probably going to see me as pathetic, but I had to tell him how deep my jealousy ran because I couldn't control it. I had let it turn me into something I still didn't even understand, and I wasn't sure how far this curse was going to go after bursting into flames earlier. I could become a danger to him and anyone else in my path, but even after I admitted all of this, Jax put his arms around me and assured me of three things I desperately needed to hear. He told me that I would never have anything to be jealous of. He told me that he wasn't put off but excited by what I had become. And he told me why he was just as voraciously jealous as me.

  "It's because I love you, Dani," he said. "I know that sounds like a terrible excuse for me to smother you, but I've never loved anyone before. I didn't love Linzie. I thought I did, but I was just a damn kid when we got together. She knew me and wanted me before I got famous, so I believed what she felt for me was real. Every woman I met after the band made it big seemed like they didn't give a shit about anything beyond the fact that I was rich or famous or good looking. I didn't have to open my mouth and be a real human being, you know? I just needed to drop my pants.

  "Linzie was the one person that I thought really loved me. Then when she suggested that we should have an open relationship while I was on the road, I thought it was because she loved me. I mean, I was just a kid who had never been popular with the girls at school, and suddenly all of these beautiful women were throwing themselves at me. Of course, I wanted to fuck them, and Linzie understood that. She said as long as I was careful, it was okay because she wanted me to get to experience everything I wanted so when we were older, we'd have no regrets. She said she would be careful, too, and it would only be when she couldn't take the waiting any longer. I didn't like the idea of her with other men, but I figured she was right. We'd been together since high school, you know? She probably had some things she needed to get out of her system, too.

  "For more than fifteen years, we lived like that. When I went on tour, we were free, but I'd been sick of it for a long time. Fucking random women every night gets old fast. I wanted my wife. I wanted her to come with me. It wasn't like she had a career. She just stayed behind in our house in Redondo Beach, spending my money while I was out on the road. I didn't look at it like that, not until I found out what she was really doing. She didn't want an open relationship. She didn't want a relationship with me at all. She just wanted to keep me around to finance her lifestyle while she looked for someone she could really love.

  "I caught her with him. About eight months before I met you, I came home to surprise her one weekend when a series of shows up north got canceled because of a snowstorm. It was after midnight when I got home, and everything was dark and quiet, so figuring Linzie was already in bed, I tiptoed around, planning to just slip in with her. I realize that was stupid because she wasn't expecting me and could have thought I was a rapist or something, but I wasn't thinking. Or maybe I was. Maybe on some subconscious level, I was allowing myself to do what I needed to do under false pretenses because if I hadn't been sneaking, I wouldn't have heard what I heard.

  "Our room was a suite with a sitting area and a short hallway to the bedroom, and if I had just walked in like normal, she would have been aware that I was coming because she was awake. But as I crept down the hall, I heard voices. I almost left. I could have driven around the block a few times, called her to give her a warning that I was home. I mean, we had an agreement, so if she wasn't alone, it wasn't against the rules. I just kind of felt like it was a rule that she wouldn't fuck other men in our bed, but I guess we never really said it was.

  "Anyway, like I said, I almost left...until I heard her say something that stopped me in my tracks. She said, 'I love you.' And the man with her said it back.

  "Oh, Jax," I said. "I'm so sorry."

  "Nah, it was a good thing. I couldn't see it at the time. I flew into a rage as I stormed into the room, ranting at her. The dude was terrified. He thought I was going to kill him, but I wasn't. It wasn't his fault. I mean, I'm sure he knew she was married, but at the end of the day, Linzie was the one betraying me. He was just some poor guy who fell in love with a selfish bitch!"

  "So, what did you do?"

  "After her boyfriend ran out of the room naked, Linzie cried and lamented and begged me to forgive her. She said she only did it because she was so lonely without me. She swore she loved me and would do anything to fix it, and goddamn me, Dani, I believed her. I had to. I was almost forty, I was surrounded by fake people, and I never thought I would ever find anyone else who loved the real me. So, I gave her another chance.

  "She joined the tour, and for a while, it was like it was when we first got together. But gradually I began to realize that I didn't love her anymore, that maybe I never had. It was all an act on her part anyway because she was still in touch with her boyfriend back in California. I needed to end it, but I knew she was going to take me for everything she could. That's what the whole open marriage thing was about. She had been cheating all along, and she wanted to make sure I couldn't use it against her in court.

  "The tour ended a couple of months later, and while we were home, I had a detective following her around. She was still in love with that guy I caught her with, so when the new tour started at the beginning of the summer, I left her at home because I didn't care anymore. I was ready to move on...and then I met you."

  Jax smiled warmly as he leaned in to kiss me.

  "I know it's not fair to you, Dani, but that's the reason I'm such a jealous prick. I'm so scared of losing you, I can't think straight, and if I found out that you cheated on me, I wouldn't want to live anymore."

  "Oh, Jax," I sighed. "I would never, ever cheat on you. You have to understand that. My ex cheated on me. I know what it feels like, and I would never put anyone through that. Okay?"

  "Okay," he whispered, and realizing that we had taken a big step today by revealing our secrets, I knew I had one more to share. I took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes as we sat side by side on the end of the bed.

  "There's just one more thing I have to tell you. It's something that doesn't just affect us. It affects Olivia and Liana as well, so you have to promise me that you will never tell anyone else."

  Apprehensively, he promised, and I took a deep breath before making a confession I never wanted to make.

  "I don't think our meeting was an accident," I said, and as I proceeded to tell him that I cast a spell to draw him to me in the parlor of Madam Levinia in Pittsburgh, he began to relax, ultimately laughing when I got to my point.

  "Look, the witch up the mountain may have been able to turn you into the wind, but you were already the air I breathe, Dani," he said. "I saw you from the stage that Saturday night in Pittsburgh, and I had roadies all over town looking for you for the next two nights, starting before you met Madam What's-Her-Fuck."

  "Really?" I asked, charmed that he went to the trouble.

  "Yeah," he admitted. "Remember Gino? When I touched your hand from the stage, I signaled him to take passes out to you and your friends, but it was the last song and you were gone by the time he got out there. You didn't even leave me a glass slipper, princess. All I had was a description, and on Sunday night, I didn't even know what you were wearing when I sent the whole crew out looking for you, but when one of them finally texted me a picture of you in the bar, I rushed over there. Then later that night, you saved my life."

 
"Why didn't you tell me this before?" I asked, but I realized he had no way of knowing how bad I needed to hear it since he knew nothing of Levinia.

  "I didn't want you to know I was stalking you. It's kind of creepy. I just couldn't get you out of my head. It was like when I locked eyes with you, I just knew you were - you are - my soulmate. I was meant to be with you. I love you, baby girl."

  "I love you, too, Jax," I said, my eyes tearing up as he hugged me tightly. With his lips right by my ear, he whispered it again, then he kissed me. It was sweet and tender, but both of us knowing that we wanted more, it grew in intensity until we were pawing at each other's clothing. Then I had an idea.

  "You know," I began, coyly twirling my hair, "we have never made use of all that BDSM stuff this cabin has..." hint...hint

  "Are you planning on tying me up?" he asked. "Because otherwise, I don't see the point since you can just use your gift and slip right out of the cuffs. In fact, I'd be more interested in seeing what your gift can do in the bedroom."

  "You mean it?" I asked, excited that he wanted to experience everything I had become. God, he's perfect!

  "Oh, I mean it," he said, looking me up and down like he wanted to devour me, and I smiled as I let my particles fly apart, suddenly blowing him onto his back on the bed. I came back together straddling his hips, my clothes left behind in the shift, and Jax's gorgeous blue eyes were wild as he grabbed my hips, grinding me against his dick through his pants. I wanted them off, and since I could control the molecules in my own clothes, I didn't see any reason I couldn't do the same with his. I slipped my finger inside his waistband and gave it a shot. Instantly, they broke down into a gentle, pale blue breeze that swirled about until they landed in a heap on the floor along with his underwear, though all of the buttons and rivets ended up in the bed. I brushed them onto the floor, then with a fistful of his collar, I added his shirt to the pile of clothes.