Keeping Guard

by Sandra Owens

  “Are your panties soaked, princess?” he murmured when the song ended.

  That was such a dirty question, yet, it sent a thrill through her that he would talk to her like that.

  “Tell me,” he said when she didn’t answer.

  “Drenched.” It should embarrass her to admit that. It didn’t. Not with him.

  “That’s my girl.” He pushed her dress down her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. “Much better.”

  “You need to lose some clothes, too.”

  He chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.” He took her hand and led her back to the bed. “Sit.” He pulled his T-shirt over his head. That got tossed behind him. He unbuttoned his jeans, pulled the zipper down, but left them on.

  Never in her experience had she seen anything as hot and sexy as the man standing in front of her. Since the first time she’d seen him without a shirt, she’d wanted to touch him, to explore his body and all those muscles, to lick him. She lifted her hand to his stomach, pressing her palm to his skin. He didn’t move, just stood there and watched her. Feeling brave, she slid her hand down, over the arrow of dark hair that led to the bulge in his jeans.

  He wrapped his fingers around her wrist. “Not yet, princess. Later, you can explore me to your heart’s content. After I’ve made you come on my tongue.”

  Mercy. It was official. She was so not going to survive the night. She was going to go down in glorious flames. She didn’t care.

  He dropped to his knees, put his hands on her legs, and spread her thighs apart. The way he looked at her girl parts, the hungry gleam in his eyes...it was just crazy. The only thing he was touching so far were her knees, yet she was tingling. That wasn’t even right. She was past tingles. Tingles were for his kisses. What she was, was aching. Throbbing in places she never knew existed. His gaze lifted to her face, and her breath hitched at seeing the raw hunger in his eyes.

  No man had ever looked at her like that, and with those eyes that ravenously ate her up, he ruined her for any other man who came after him. She might care about that after he left, but at this moment, there was nothing but him. Noah. A man with demons and hungry eyes.

  He dipped a finger into the top of her panties, then slid it along the waistband. She shivered as his finger brushed across her skin. One side of his mouth kicked up in a half smile that told her he knew exactly the effect he was having on her.

  “Noah. I need...” She didn’t know how to put it into words, this desire for something she’d never had.

  “I know what you need, princess.” He reached over, grabbed a pillow, and placed it behind her. “Lie back.”

  “Are you sure you want to do this?”

  “Oh, yeah.”

  No man, not even Dalton, had put his mouth on her sex before. She’d assumed it wasn’t something men enjoyed doing, but she heard in Noah’s voice that he wanted to. He wanted to! She might crawl right out of her skin.

  “I can smell your arousal, princess. It’s making my mouth water.” He pulled her panties down her legs. “I need to taste you.” He put his mouth on her.

  “Oh, God.” He’d barely touched her, and she was about to shatter into a million pieces. “Oh, God!”

  Peyton fisted the bedcover as his tongue did amazing things. He’d primed her so well that she shattered in mere minutes of his first touch. She thought she heard herself saying, “Oh, oh, oh,” but she honestly didn’t know. She could have as easily been repeatedly screaming the word in her head.

  When she could breathe again, she opened her eyes to see Noah watching her, and if that wasn’t an all-male satisfied smile on his face, she’d eat her hat. Well, she would if she owned one. She gave him her own extremely satisfied smile. “That beat shelling beans hands down.”

  He blinked. “Say what?”

  “Did I say that out loud? I only meant to think it.” She frowned. “I never once thought of beans when you were doing that. Did you know that’s the first time a man has put his mouth on me like that? It was amazing. Amazing isn’t even a good enough word. Will you do it again? You didn’t think it was gross, did you? It didn’t seem like—”

  Noah smiled. “I’m like one of Pavlov’s dogs. Every time you chatter like a magpie, I have to do this.” He leaned over the bed, put his hands alongside her head, lowered his mouth to hers, and kissed her speechless. After stealing all her words, he lifted his head, and stared down at her. “Anything else you need to say?”

  “More?”

  “You want more, princess? Not to worry. There’s so much more I’m going to show you. And just so you know, it will all beat shelling beans.” Damn, she amused him.

  “I’ve already admitted that much, but can you beat brewing beer? That’s my ultimate challenge.”

  “I guess you’ll have to be the judge of that.” He stood, pushed his jeans down, then stepped out of them. Her gaze zeroed in on his boxers, or more accurately, his erection pushing against the material.

  She pointed a finger at his crotch. “I want that.”

  “And you shall have it.” This woman. She could easily be the one if he’d met her at any other time.

  In a few weeks, a month at the most, he’d be gone. Until then, he was hers. He’d show her what she should expect—what she deserved—from a man, and then she’d never again settle for less. And if it felt like the sharp point of an arrow had just pierced his heart at the thought of never seeing her again, it was what it was.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Well, hello there,” Peyton said when Noah shed his boxer briefs. “That’s some impressive stuff you got there.”

  “Stuff?” He laughed. “The princess can’t say cock?”

  “Correct, she cannot.” She loved hearing him laugh. He was so different tonight from the brooding man she was used to. He’d probably revert back to that man tomorrow, but if she could help him be happy once, she could do it again. And she would, for however long she had him.

  “Up.” He tugged on the pillow he’d placed under her.

  “How do you want me?”

  “So many ways.”

  “That wasn’t what I meant, and you know it.” The many ways intrigued her, though. She scooted up, giving him room on the bed. He stretched out beside her, and she waited to see what he’d do now.

  “Close your eyes.”

  “Why?” She wanted to watch everything he did.

  “Because I said so.”

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Not a thing if you don’t close your eyes.”

  She huffed an annoyed breath but obeyed. When nothing happened, she peeked through one slitted eye.

  “No cheating. Here’s what’s going to happen,” he said after she’d closed her eyes again. “You won’t know where I’m going to touch you until I do. Your senses will be heightened, and you’ll try to anticipate what’s going to happen. You’re going to like this, I promise.”

  “If you say so.” She didn’t see how it could be better than seeing him do things to her.

  “Keep them closed even when you think nothing is happening or I’ll stop.”

  He didn’t do anything for what seemed like a full minute, and it was torture. Then he blew on her nipple, and she gasped. It was unexpected and really nice. Was that his tongue now swirling around that same nipple? That was more than nice. It was incredible. Just as she was getting into what he was doing, he stopped. She whined in protest.

  “Oooh,” she said when he pinched the other nipple, sending an electrical shock through her. “Do that again.”

  “Hush. I’ll decide what to do when.” She felt his mouth next to her ear. “I’m giving you a lesson in anticipation, princess.”

  “I don’t know if I can survive your lesson.” Even his warm breath tickling her skin heated her blood.

  “Barely maybe, but you will.”

  He lightly
trailed his fingers down her side, feather touches that raised goosebumps. He explored every inch of her, sometimes with his fingers and sometimes with his tongue. How had she not known she had so many erogenous zones...her belly button, behind her knees, a spot behind her ears. Honestly, any place he touched at this point.

  “Please, Noah.” He had her so far on the edge that she ached.

  “Is this what you need?” He slid a finger inside her, slid it out, and then back in. While he did that, his thumb circled her clit.

  She instantly climaxed.

  “That’s it, baby. Ride that wave.” He gathered her in his arms and held her as she tried to find air. “How was that for tingles?” he asked when she could breathe again.

  She grinned. “It’s a start.” It was freaking amazing.

  “I see how it is. You’re going to be a greedy girl.”

  For him, absolutely. “I think you’re right. Now, it’s my turn.” She wanted to explore every inch of him the way he had her.

  “Next time. Watching you come apart was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. I need to be in you. Now.”

  “I’m good with that.” So good. As turned on as he’d made her with all the things he’d done, what she wanted most was to feel him deep inside her.

  “Let’s see how many more tingles I can give you.” He grabbed a condom out of the box, and as he rolled it on, he lifted his gaze to hers. “You like watching me put this on.”

  It wasn’t a question, but she answered anyway. “I don’t know why, but yes. It’s like I’m a voyeur, seeing something I’m not supposed to and can’t look away from.” He stroked himself, and she whimpered.

  “You’re killing me with those noises you make, princess.”

  “I promise to make more if you’ll stop torturing me and get down to business.”

  He stared at her for a moment, then he grinned, then he laughed. “I think you’re good for me, Peyton. My new high is waiting to see what will come out of your mouth.”

  Right then, he took his first step toward stealing her heart. She’d been in like before, but she’d never been in love. She could love this man like nobody’s business. He’ll never be yours to love. No, he wouldn’t, but she sure as heck was going to enjoy him for as long as she had him.

  “Missionary style, side by side, or you riding me? Your choice since tonight is for you.”

  And he just took a second step by giving her a choice. Without trying, he showed her what could be. That was good and bad. Good because now she knew. Bad because she was sure there was only one Noah.

  “I’m more than familiar with missionary style, so cross that one out. Out of the other two, which gets you hotter?”

  “You get me hotter.” He brushed his knuckles over her cheeks. “You really do. But I’ll answer your question. Side by side.” He rolled toward her. “Put your leg between mine.”

  With her leg between the two of his, he made love to her slowly and sensually. And while he loved on her, he stared into her eyes, not letting her go. She stared back, wishing the day never came when he’d leave her.

  “I never expected you,” he said.

  She wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Are you saying I’m a bad thing?”

  He thrust into her. “Tell me you don’t think that’s what I mean.” He thrust into her again. “I’ll never forget you. Never.”

  With that, he took another step into her heart, and she freely gave him the space. He was going to hurt her without wanting to, and she was going to let him.

  “Come with me, princess,” he whispered in her ear.

  “Okay.” Such a mundane word for the earthquake inside her that followed his whisper. She put her hand on his chest, over his heart and the hummingbird tattoo, memorizing how it pounded because of her.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he said as if he’d read her mind.

  Still on their sides and facing each other, she rested her palm on his cheek. He was going to. She already knew that, but if she told him that, he would regret tonight. She smiled as she lied to him. “No worries there, sailor boy. Just keep me supplied with tingles and I’ll be happy.”

  “Copy that.”

  She traced the hummingbird with her finger. “Will you tell me about this? I know it has special meaning for you.”

  “It’s in memory of my mother. She loved hummingbirds.”

  “Thank you for telling me. I thought it was something like that. It’s beautiful.”

  He put his hand over hers and squeezed. “Tell me about your dinner with your father. Why were you crying?”

  “Because he finally told me why he’d never let me get close to him. He had a family before I was born.” She told him about her father’s wife and son and what happened to them. “All these years, he was a broken man and I didn’t know.”

  “Does it help you now that you know now?”

  “So much yes. For the first time since I came to live with him, he told me he loved me. That was why I cried. I never expected to hear him say those words to me.”

  “You didn’t have any hint that he was married once?”

  “No. He said that no one at Elk Antler even knew, so there wasn’t any gossip to the fact.”

  “You had quite an amazing day, huh?”

  “Definitely, and then it was followed up by an amazing night.”

  “Yeah?” He brushed his hand along the side of her breast. “Think you’d like a little more amazing?”

  “Show me what else you got in your bag of tricks, SEAL boy.” And did he ever.

  * * *

  “Don’t leave the building unless you’re with your father,” Noah told Peyton when he dropped her off at Elk Antler the next morning. “Call me when you’re ready to go home, and I’ll come pick you up.”

  “Copy that, sir.” She tapped her lips. “Do I get a goodbye kiss, honey?”

  “Bring that mouth here, sugarbuns.” He leaned over the console. After kissing her, he waited until she was safely in the building before heading to Operation K-9 Brothers.

  As he drove away, he realized he was smiling. It felt both good and wrong. He’d given himself permission last night to temporarily put his guilt and dark thoughts away in a box. Fearing he’d have a nightmare, he’d planned to sneak out of bed after Peyton fell asleep. Funny thing, he’d fallen asleep wrapped around her body, and had slept next to her until morning free of nightmares. He’d existed on an hour or two of sleep here and there since he’d so royally screwed up. That he’d slept through the night seemed like a minor miracle.

  Did he deserve even a minor miracle? He didn’t think so. Yet, he wanted more of these good feelings, he wanted more Peyton. He didn’t fool himself that one night with her and his nightmares were a thing of the past.

  After dropping Lucky off with Jack, Noah went to the therapist appointment. He did not want to do this. If he thought he could get away with it, he’d be a no show. Resigned to his fate, he followed the GPS instructions to an office in a medical center.

  “Here goes nothing,” he muttered. As he entered the building, he wished he’d brought Lucky with him, and what a damn strange thought that was. They’d discussed whether or not Lucky should come with him, but had agreed that since Lucky wasn’t trained yet, he could be disruptive. Not that he’d ever admit it to Jack, but he was calmer when the dog was by his side.

  “I’m Noah Alba,” he told the receptionist.

  “Dr. Meadows will be right with you.”

  “Thanks.” He headed for a chair, but before he could sit, his name was called. He turned to see an attractive woman in her forties or fifties. “That’s me.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Dr. Meadows, or if you prefer, Renee.” She smiled. “If neither of those suit, just Doc also works.”

  He preferred not to be here at all, but she probably didn’t want to hear that.
He’d expected a male therapist, so a female was a surprise and not a welcome one. How could she relate to the event that was his personal hell?

  Not having a choice, he followed her to an office. A couch was along the back wall, and no way was he stretching out on that. He chose a chair in front of a beautiful desk that he guessed was mahogany. The walls were a cream color with pastel landscape paintings on the walls. He assumed the room was designed to be relaxing, but he was far from relaxed.

  “Do you prefer Noah, Mr. Alba, or Petty Officer Alba?” she asked as she settled in the chair next to him.

  Why wasn’t she sitting behind the desk? She was too close. “Noah’s fine.”

  She smiled again. “Since you didn’t make today’s appointment yourself, am I right in assuming you’d rather be anywhere but here?”

  “True story.” He gave her points for addressing that upfront. “I was ordered by my commander to see a head doc...sorry, a therapist.”

  She laughed. “Head doc doesn’t offend me. I caught the widening of your eyes when you realized your—” she made air quotes “—head doc was a woman. You wondered how I could possibly relate to your military experiences.”

  The woman was a spooky mind reader. He could deny it, but she was being direct with him, and he appreciated that. “I’ll admit it crossed my mind.”

  “I served three tours to Afghanistan with the rank of captain in the army. So, been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt to prove it.”

  “Sorry for assuming.” He was really starting off on the wrong foot here. It was going to get worse when he refused to talk about the second worst day of his life.

  “Not a problem. You’ll find I’m not easily ruffled. All we’re going to do today is talk about what you can expect from our sessions. We’ll meet twice a week. You can schedule your appointments with Beverly before you leave today. Are you familiar with cognitive processing therapy, CPT for short?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “Without thinking about it, give me one word for what you feel the majority of the time these days.”