Finding Hope: A Colorado Veterans Christmas

by Tiffani Lynn

  Once she’s completed the job she takes a damp washcloth, wipes the excess shaving cream away, and stands back to observe her handiwork. When I stand, ready to go back to the bed, she stays where she is, staring at me like she’s just now seeing me for the first time. I run my left hand through my hair nervously and she reaches up slowly to touch my cheek. I steady myself so I won’t flinch. The tenderness of her fingers and the glide down my cheek along my jawline is so sweet it’s almost painful.

  “Rosie.” A woman’s voice calls from the room and Rosie’s hand jerks away like she’s been burned. She turns and scurries out of the bathroom.

  “That was fast. Thanks, Mari,” Rosie says, sounding out of breath. I can hear them both make a little grunt noise like they hugged each other too tight. They talk as I shuffle to the door of the bathroom. Damn, I’m sore. Who knew that bruising could hurt so bad?

  I clear my throat and both women turn to me. Rosie’s almost identical sister looks at me with complete surprise.

  “Mari, this is Cy. Cy, this is my sister, Marina. Dex’s wife.”

  “Hi.” I give her a quick nod and she waves at me without a word, but a beautiful smile spreads across her face. If it weren’t for the turquoise and purple streaks in her hair, Marina would be an exact replica of Rosie.

  “Here,” she holds up a bag, “this is for you. I didn’t have much time to shop for stuff so it’s nothing fancy.”

  “Thank you, it’s perfect.”

  Marina’s eyebrows pull down low. “But you haven’t even seen what’s in the bag.”

  “You said it’s not fancy and I’m not fancy, so I think it’s perfect. Besides, I appreciate the kindness. I’ll pay you back.”

  “No way! I don’t do paybacks, only pay-it-forwards.”

  I chuckle a little for the second time today. “Thank you.”

  Dorothy comes in the door with what seems to be her perpetual grin and says, “One look at this one,” she points to Marina, “and I knew they were sisters. I figured your clothes had arrived.”

  Marina and Rosie smile at each other and Dorothy follows me back to the bathroom.

  5

  Rosie

  Holy hell, Cy is handsome. I had no idea such an attractive man was hiding under that nasty mountain-man thing he had going on. If he got a haircut, he could be on the cover of GQ magazine. No wonder he kept the scraggly look. Being on the street with a face like that could be big trouble.

  All of a sudden I feel like I can really see him. His eyes, which I thought were unique from the moment I got close enough to see them, are now the focal point of his face, without all that wild hair. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen eyes that are such a light brown that they can be described as honey-colored before, but that’s exactly what his are. They are the kind of eyes you get lost in—watchful, comforting and arresting to look at.

  “What’s going on, Rosie?” my sister asks, and I can tell she’s battling between being nosey and being concerned for me.

  “I recognize something in him––something familiar. I can’t leave him here to face this alone. He doesn’t have anyone. At one time that was me. If it weren’t for Uriah’s kindness I’d either be dead or someone’s whore.”

  “This is different, Rosie.”

  “Yeah, it is. His fears come from battle and living on the streets, not from sexual exploitation. There’s just something about him.”

  Concern never leaves her eyes. Damn, I love my sister. I missed her so much in the years we were apart.

  “I’ve looked into the eyes of evil men. I have no problem recognizing evil. He’s not even close. I promise, I’m being careful. Just trust me, okay?”

  My sister hugs me tight and whispers in my ear, “I’ll never stop worrying. I love you.”

  The place in my chest that was empty for so long after I was pulled away from her warms again at her words. “I love you too, Mari.”

  “I need to get back to Dex. We’re taking the twins out to Judson and Quinn’s ranch today.”

  “Are you crazy? It’s freezing outside.”

  “We can bundle them up. They love the horses and I just love being out there. Call me if you need me. And please get some sleep. I’m sure you haven’t.”

  She knows me so well. “I will. I feel better knowing he’s okay.”

  She hugs me again, quickly this time, and hustles out the door. When Dorothy and Cy come out of the bathroom, I’m struck stupid again. My sister may not have grabbed anything fancy, but the henley and jeans she picked look perfect on him. Eventually, he’ll find out that Mari also left a coat on the hook by the door and new combat boots for when he gets discharged.

  Cyrus stretches out on the bed and I can tell the morning’s activities have worn him out. I encourage him to eat at least a little of what they bring him and right after that he falls asleep. I remain seated in the recliner next to the bed for the next two hours, making sure no one approaches him while he rests. Not that it’s been a hard task. When I told Dorothy that he needed sleep more than he needed his temperature taken, she agreed and left us alone, with a “Do Not Disturb” sign on the door.

  Later in the afternoon, the doctor comes in to check on him.

  “Mr. McMullen, you look a little different than when I met you yesterday.”

  Cy nods but doesn’t comment.

  “I’m going to release you in the morning if there are no complications through the night. Do you have somewhere to stay until you’re out of the cast? With it being as cold as it is out there, I don’t recommend you staying on the streets for the time being.”

  Cy’s whole body locks up. I can tell the thought of being holed up somewhere, stuck inside, is more than he can handle right now. I also understand what the doctor is saying and I agree. Dex will have a fit, but for some reason I trust Cy. Besides, I’ve learned to take care of myself over the years. One of the things Uriah did was get me self-defense lessons to help me overcome some of my fears. “He can stay at my place,” I blurt out.

  Cy’s head whips around to stare at me. “I can’t impose on you.”

  “It’s not an imposition if I offer it.”

  We stare at each other for longer than is necessary. Finally, the doctor clears his throat and says, “Well, you have until morning to figure it out. Get some rest, Mr. McMullen.” He turns on his heel and strides out of the room.

  “Rosie, you’ve been so kind to me, but I can’t stay with you. Ask your friend Dex or your sister. They’ll tell you it’s a crazy idea.”

  “I’ve been taking care of myself for a while now. They help me, but I’m an adult. I make my own decisions. I get that it’s strange for me to do this, but somehow, I just know you’re not going to hurt me or steal from me. Please consider it. A homeless shelter is not a good idea for you for a few reasons, the biggest being I don’t think you can handle it.”

  He lays his head back and closes his eyes. I know he’s not resting. By the tension in his hands as they grip the sheet under him I’m guessing he’s frustrated.

  I give him a minute before I say, “For whatever reason, you seem to trust me. Well, I feel the same about you. We understand each other. I won’t pressure you, but I’d like you to come to my house. I’ll worry if you go back on the street right now.”

  He opens his eyes and watches me for a moment before he finally nods his head. “Okay, I’ll try it, but don’t be pissed if it doesn’t work. I haven’t really stayed inside a building since I got out of the Marines seven years ago. The only exceptions were a few times during blizzard conditions, but on those occasions I stayed awake the whole time and as soon as it was safe to leave the facility, I did.”

  “I won’t get my hopes up, okay? Just try for me, please?”

  Again, he nods.

  I’m exhausted, but I won’t complain. Cy slept well and that’s what I wanted. It’s why I stayed overnight again. He’s been discharged and is now riding in the passenger seat of my blue Honda Accord to my condo. The day is gray and dreary and I thi
nk we’re expecting snow.

  We pull into the complex and drive all the way to the back. I lucked out when I bought the place and got the last one that looks out toward the front range of the Rocky Mountains. The layout assures an amazing view from both the living room and the master bedroom. When Uriah died, I discovered that he was a millionaire. Because he’d lived so modestly, I had no idea. With no family to contest the will, I got everything. He left a letter for me with the lawyer that explained that he never wanted me to have to rely on anyone again and wanted me to just be happy. I am. Having that money took pressure off of me about my future. As soon as his affairs were in order, I got a job. Not because I needed the money, but because I’m the type of woman who likes to be needed, to be helpful to others, and nursing fulfills that for me.

  It’s late morning when we pull into the parking space in front of my unit. Cy flinches a little in discomfort as he leans forward to look up at the attractive two-story stone building. “This is your place?”

  “Yeah, I bought it when I moved here earlier this year.”

  He sits back and looks at me. “You’re full of surprises.” He reaches into his back pocket and wiggles his wallet free, pulls out a beat-up driver’s license that is almost expired and passes it to me. I look at it and back to him.

  “What’s this for?”

  “Take a picture and send it to Dex. He can do a background check and have a record of who is staying with you.”

  “I didn’t ask for that,” I tell him, annoyed.

  “No, but you should. Your brother-in-law wants to protect you. I’m glad someone does. Put his mind at ease.”

  I think about if for a second before I relent, knowing he’s right. Snapping a picture of his license, I send it to Dex.

  As I’m opening the door to get out of the car, my phone rings and it’s Dex.

  “Are you trying to get chopped up into little pieces?” he asks in lieu of a greeting.

  “Nope, that’s why you got the text with the information.”

  “I plan on doing a full background check on him,” he informs me.

  “I figured. That’s why I sent it. Listen, we just got to my place. I’m going to hang up. If you need me, call me back. Tell Mari I’ll come see the babies this weekend, okay?”

  “This is crazy, Rosie,” he tells me, but I can tell by the sound of his voice he’s resigned to let me do what I’m going to do.

  “I know, but it’s going to be okay,” I assure him.

  Once the door is unlocked we pass through the doorway and directly into the great room. Four floor-to-ceiling windows that take up almost the entire wall, allowing a perfect view of the front range of the Rocky Mountains, brightening the room. Between the first two windows and the last two is a small wall where my flat-screen television is mounted. My light-colored denim couch sits in front of that. Perpendicular on the left is a loveseat made of the same fabric. Fluffy white throw pillows are placed neatly on both pieces of furniture. A distressed white coffee table sits in front of the couch with a couple of women’s magazines and a box of tissues on top of it. Across from the love seat, on the other side of the couch, is a sage-green wingback chair that adds a touch of color to the room. Past the living area is a decent-sized kitchen with stainless steel appliances, white cabinets and gray granite countertops. The whole color scheme is soothing and relaxed. There’s a white breakfast nook off to the side of the kitchen that rarely gets used, unless Mari and Dex are here with the kids.

  Other than a large oil painting of a poppy field, the pictures I have hanging around my place are ones that Mari has given me. All are black-and-white and of either her and me or her family. Her family is really all I have in this world and I haven’t admitted it to her, but those pictures mean more to me than anything else I own.

  On one of the end tables there are several dragonfly figurines. It’s the only thing I collect and I don’t even have many of those.

  I move into the kitchen, across the hardwood floors, and set my keys and purse on the counter and drape my coat over one of the kitchen nook chairs. When I turn back toward the living room I realize Cy hasn’t moved.

  “Are you going to come all the way inside?”

  He stays quiet, searching every inch of visible space with his eyes before he nods and moves toward the windows. “This place is really nice.”

  “Thank you. The windows help me feel less...trapped.” I shrug before I continue. “I was hoping it might do the same for you. My master bedroom is directly above this and has the same windows. Most nights I sleep with the curtains open just to be able to see the stars. Come on, let me show you around.” Crap, I hope that didn’t sound weird, like I was inviting him to my bed to sleep.

  I point out the kitchen, the downstairs bathroom off to the side, and then climb the stairs. His new boots squeaking on the wood of the stairs lets me know he’s right behind me. When we reach the landing, I point out the bathroom directly in front of us and turn right toward the guest room. Once we get there, I open the door and step aside. This room is almost bare. It has a queen-size bed with a fluffy gray comforter and a white nightstand. The walls are white and the carpet is gray Berber. “You can leave your stuff in here.” I point at his worn-out backpack that’s still hoisted over his shoulder. I make a mental note to have Mari get him a new one for when he leaves. I’m not dumb enough to think he won’t go back to the street.

  I turn and leave the room, heading to mine. My room also has white walls and gray Berber carpet, but I have a king-size bed with a plush, pale pink comforter and several decorative pillows in gray, white and pink. Two cherrywood nightstands flank my cherrywood sleigh bed. It looks like something from a magazine, except there’s nothing hanging on the walls in here either. Next to the side of the bed I sleep on is a picture of my sister and me from her wedding and a tiny glass dragonfly that Mari gave me for Christmas. Once again, Cy moves across the room and stands in front of the windows. I leave the curtains pulled back so I can look out when I’m in here.

  “I can see why you bought the place. How long have you lived here?” he asks.

  “I’ve been here six months.”

  “You don’t have much on your walls.” It’s phrased almost like a question.

  I shake my head. “I don’t have much that I want to look at every day.” I shrug, not knowing what else to say.

  I turn and head out the door of my room and back downstairs. He follows more slowly and when I sit on the love seat, he looks at the furniture around the room like he’s unsure of where he should sit.

  “You can sit or stretch out anywhere you like. Please, make yourself at home. We can watch television, although you didn’t seem to be too crazy about that in the hospital.”

  “Can we just hang out quietly for a little while? It’s really nice not to hear the hospital sounds or the noise of the street all around. It’s peaceful here. Kind of like camping. I spend a lot of time camping in the warmer months and I miss it this time of year.”

  “You do?” I ask, a little surprised.

  “Yeah, it’s actually more comfortable out in the woods than it is in the city.”

  “How do you eat?”

  “I hunt.” He shrugs like it’s not a big deal. I would die out in the wilderness. There’s no way I could hunt, skin and eat an animal. Don’t get me wrong, I like meat, but the thought of doing all that myself makes my stomach roll over. Besides the fact that I couldn’t hurt something, much less kill it.

  After a few minutes I adjust my position and curl up on the little love seat to stare out the window, stealing little side glances back over at Cy. He seems deep in thought. I wonder what’s going through his mind.

  “You want a blanket?” I ask.

  He blinks a few times and turns to me. “No, thanks.”

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, it helps to have the windows and the quiet.”

  “I want to take a little nap, but I’m nervous I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.” I probably rev
ealed too much with those couple of words. It’s been nice to be helpful to someone, and truth be told...I like him. I don’t know much about him, but I can feel it on a soul-deep level. He’s a good guy, he just couldn’t cope well with what happened to him when he was deployed.

  Cy’s eyes soften. “I’m not going anywhere yet. I’m okay for now. Get some rest. I know you stayed awake so I could rest. Let me return the favor.”

  “As long as you relax a little. You look kind of uncomfortable.”

  “Anything is more comfortable than the pavement on a cold night. I’m great, but if it will make you feel better, I’ll take off my shoes and put my feet up.”

  “Okay.” I flash him a grateful smile as my eyes drift close.

  6

  Cy

  My eyes blink open and my body tenses, going on alert naturally. I spring to my feet, ready to take on whatever is coming my way. A few seconds later my brain catches up. I’m safe, I’m at Rosie’s house, no one is coming for me here. I’m not trapped. But what is that noise? Another cry breaks the quiet of her home and I turn toward it. Rosie is shielding her face and backed as far into the corner of her love seat as she can get.

  “No, no, no, no,” she pleads as she kicks her feet at an invisible assailant. The sound is tortured and painful. I move to her side and drop to my knees. “Rosie!” I shake her with my good hand and she swats at me.

  “Rosie!”

  She screams so loud that it echoes in the great room. This time I grab both of her arms as she struggles, doing my best to keep the cast from banging into her flailing body.

  “Rosie, it’s Cy! You’re safe. I’m not going to hurt you! Rosie! It’s Cy.” Her whole body locks up and she opens her eyes slowly.

  “Rosie. You’re safe. No one is going to hurt you. You were dreaming.” Her eyes search my face and I can tell the moment she knows where she is and who she’s with because her whole body relaxes and she bursts into tears.