Fairest of Them All (Marriage by Fairytale Book 4)
Page 15
“As I’ve already pointed out, Viola already explained all of this to me. Even if that’s how things are, why can’t there be something pleasant that’s also interesting? Can’t someone say something like ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’?”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Raining cats and dogs?”
She nodded. “It’s an expression that was in a book. When I heard it, I imagined cats and dogs falling from the sky. Such a thing is funny. Why can’t one of the gentlemen have enough of a sense of humor to say something like that?”
“Well, I doubt many gentlemen know the expression even exists.” This was the first time he was hearing it. “What book did you read this in?”
“I didn’t read it. The butler told me about it. It was in a book that poked fun at noblemen. I wouldn’t mind reading such a book if the butler would allow it. After how dull those gentlemen were last evening, I wager I’d get a good laugh from it. But Viola refuses to let the butler show it to me. She seems to think I need to stick with more serious discussions.”
“The discussions won’t be dull all the time. When a gentleman suits you, you’ll find the discussion more to your liking.” He paused. “So, last evening didn’t lead you to anyone that you find appealing?”
“It wasn’t like the ball where you met my mother. You two met and spent hours talking for most of the night. No. No one caught my fancy at the ball like that, but you would probably be happy to find out that one of them has asked to visit me tomorrow.”
“One did?”
“I thought you’d like to hear that. Viola was practically jumping up and down with excitement. She even had me and the butler practice what I should say tomorrow. Did you tell her to give me lessons on how to talk to gentlemen?”
“No, but I’m glad she’s doing it. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” After a moment, he added, “I’m glad she’s so thorough. Her experience in London will be beneficial to you. Though I spent most of an evening speaking with your mother, I’m not sure the rules here would allow for that. I only came to London once. I was a child at the time. I don’t remember much of it. All I remember is that my mother warned me that I had to be careful in everything I said and did because I couldn’t get away with the same things I could in the country.”
“Apparently, there are many rules here, and a lot of them are not even necessary. They’re foolish. I see no reason why I can’t dance with a gentleman more than twice if I did enjoy his company. I also don’t understand why people are so particular about the way they walk up steps or how long you can talk to a gentleman in public. There are even rules for when it’s appropriate to ride a horse or take a walk. I could go on and on, but it’d take too long to list everything.”
He couldn’t help but sympathize with her frustration. She was used to doing anything she wanted. At his country estate, she’d had no limitations on what she could or couldn’t do. He should have realized she would find London restricting.
“Perhaps after you marry,” he began, “you won’t have to stay in London. Maybe your husband can take you to his country estate. Then you can go back to enjoying the freedoms you can’t have in London.”
“That would be up to my husband, wouldn’t it? It seems like the gentlemen here are not as willing to allow a lady as many freedoms as you’ve given me and the ladies you married. One of the reasons my mother fell in love with you was that you let her be who she really was. I remember her telling me what a relief that was. I didn’t appreciate what she meant until now.”
“If you choose the right gentleman, he will give you many freedoms.”
“I suppose I have to dance and talk to many wrong ones until I find the one who’s right.”
He offered her a comforting smile. “I’m afraid there’s no getting around that unless you want Viola to arrange a marriage for you.”
Her eyes grew wide. “No! She loves all the rules and dull conversations. Everything is about propriety with her. She’d set me up with a stuffy gentleman whose only goal is to impress the Ton.”
Evander chuckled. If Tabitha knew Viola the way he had come to know her, she would realize that Viola wasn’t the prim and proper lady she assumed her to be. Deep down, she was a very passionate lady. It was to his fortune that he got to witness that part of her.
To Tabitha, he said, “Viola isn’t as prudish as you think she is. She understands there are times when you don’t have to do everything according to the rules; you just need to be careful how you do it and when you do it.”
Tabitha considered his words for a long moment then nodded. “You’re right. She does. She’s going to teach me how to do different things with a fan in order to send secret messages to other ladies. I don’t mind telling you that since you never go out in public. It’s a secret gentlemen aren’t supposed to know.”
“I won’t say a word of this then, not even to the servants.”
She smiled, probably excited that she’d get to learn this secret code. After talking with Viola last night, he’d worried that Tabitha was going to resist what Viola was trying to do, but something must have changed earlier that day between the two because Tabitha was much more accepting of her this afternoon. That was a relief.
And it was nice to see Tabitha enjoying something again. Yes, she’d loved riding her horse and taking a walk, but she’d been living with a horrible sense of emptiness. She’d been surrounded by servants, but she’d had no companion. For all intents and purposes, she was used to being alone. She, of all people, needed to be in London. She needed a connection to the world. Her association with him had made her isolated. He hoped Viola could change that. If the thing about the fan was an indication of where things were heading, then he was assured Viola could give her the normal life he couldn’t.
Tabitha made eye contact with him and said, “I hope you won’t jeopardize Viola’s life. I hope you really will be diligent about keeping your face hidden from her.”
“I will. There’s nothing I’ll do to risk losing her.”
Tabitha shifted in her chair as if she wished to add something else but had thought better of it.
“What is it?” he prompted.
“I’m not sure that you should have her up here. It might be better to exchange letters. You two can make all your plans that way.”
He couldn’t blame her for suggesting that, but there was no way he could fulfill her wish. She was scared, and rightly so, but he had a right to enjoy the wholeness marriage provided. Without Viola, he was only half a man. “She’ll never see my face. I swear I’ll be diligent.”
She let out a frustrated sigh. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to stay away from her. I knew you weren’t marrying her for me.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is. At least in part. You might have married her so I’d have a chaperone, but you also married her for your sake.” She took a deep breath and released it. “If you put me through another death, I will never speak to you again.”
“I won’t put you through the pain of another loss,” he insisted. “I promise it.”
Tabitha wiped her cheek, and it took him a second to realize she had been fighting back tears. His heart went out to her. If only she could understand that this time, things were going to be different. History wasn’t going to repeat itself. He would kill himself before he allowed Viola to see his face. Never again was he going to be responsible for a lady’s untimely death.
Tabitha rose to her feet and headed for the door. She put her hand on the knob but didn’t turn it. She paused for a few seconds then said, “I hope you can keep that promise. I really do. But if you don’t, I meant what I said. I won’t have anything to do with you again.” Then she turned the knob and left the room.
Chapter Fourteen
As soon as Viola came into the attic, Evander took her into his arms and started kissing her. And the kisses were so very wonderful that she couldn’t help but kiss him back. She was so caught up in the moment that she wasn’t aware he had carried her to th
e bed until she was lying down on it.
The day had been such a good one. Entering a room where her husband was so excited to be with her made it perfect. It was wonderful to be consumed by his passion. She’d never thought a gentleman would ever be so enraptured by her, but this one was, and better yet, he wasn’t the least bit shy about showing it.
His hands explored her as he removed her clothes. The touches on her skin were soon followed by kisses, an action which made her body feel as if it was on fire. She needed him with an intensity she hadn’t even felt that morning. Truly, she couldn’t remember a time when she’d needed anything more.
He settled between her legs and entered her. She groaned in pleasure and lifted her hips to take all of him into her. He murmured her name and proceeded to make love to her, his thrusting growing more and more anxious until he had no choice but to release his seed. She kissed his neck and held him tightly to her as he rode out the waves of pleasure coursing through him. Now that she’d become familiar with the way his body responded when making love to her, she was assured he had received completion in the act.
He relaxed and stayed inside her for a couple of minutes while he kissed her, the urgency in his actions now calmed. After he settled next to her, he whispered, “Forgive me. I tried to show more restraint. I meant to ensure your pleasure first.”
“Don’t apologize. I liked it. You desired me.”
“Yes, I desire you very much.” He kissed her again and let his hand travel down her breast and then to the patch of curls between her legs. “But even so, I will not leave you unsatisfied.”
Two fingers slid into her, and she let out a low moan. The persistent ache in her core had subsided somewhat in the aftermath of his orgasm, but he was quickly bringing it back. His thumb went to her sensitive nub, and she felt the mounting tension building up inside her that demanded to be released. Before long, her body burst with pleasure. She wanted to stay suspended in this state of bliss forever, and though he coaxed out every bit of pleasure her body would give her by continuing to stroke her, she eventually settled back to earth.
He gave her a lingering kiss on the mouth, his tongue lightly brushing hers, before he pulled his fingers out of her and brought her into his arms.
They remained in a comfortable silence for a couple of minutes. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the peace they were sharing. She had no idea marriage could be like this. Granted, it wasn’t like other marriages. In other marriages, the husband didn’t hide away in the attic. The husband and wife spent time together in other rooms in a townhouse and went outside. But even if she and Evander didn’t do those things, they did talk and make love like other married couples did.
Evander took one of her hands in his and held it. She opened her eyes, though really, it made no difference in the dark room.
“I spoke with Tabitha this afternoon,” he said. “She seems happier than she was before.”
“Yes, she wasn’t as resistant to me today as I thought she’d be. I invited her to go to the market to get some chocolate. We had a slight diversion at a fountain where we made wishes.”
She bit her lower lip. Was now a good time to bring up the fact that they’d talked about the way his other wives had died? If she didn’t bring it up now, then when would be a good time? She might never find a better opportunity to introduce the subject. After a moment, she propped herself up on her elbow. The action didn’t allow her to see his face, of course, but she felt it was easier to have a deeper conversation with him this way.
“Evander,” she began, “I know this isn’t an easy conversation, but I’m having trouble understanding something and would like your help.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“While Tabitha and I were at the fountain, she told me how your other wives died. I can understand how falling down a flight of stairs or off a horse could be attributed to a curse, but the second one makes no sense to me.”
As soon as she felt him stiffen, she realized just how uncomfortable the topic was making him.
“I don’t wish to ruin our time together,” she continued. “I’m just trying to understand the nature of this curse. Don’t you think it’s strange that a lady would fall on her knitting needles in her bed?”
“I wasn’t in the room when it happened,” he replied. “I married my second wife to give Tabitha a mother. It was a mutual arrangement between my family and hers. She was a recluse. She didn’t like being around a lot of people, but she was fine in a small group. Since she wasn’t happy in London when her family went there, we thought it’d be a suitable arrangement if she lived with me at my estate. But within the first month of our marriage, I could tell we weren’t going to get along very well. Don’t misunderstand me. She was nice. She was just…aloof. I don’t think she liked to be touched in a romantic way. She didn’t refuse me, but there was no passion between us. It wasn’t like it is with us. But she was good to Tabitha, so I was glad to have her around.”
“And she saw your face?”
“I didn’t take the warning seriously when I first learned of the curse. I was skeptical. I didn’t hide from her or the others back then. I walked about the house freely. But besides a couple of evenings with her, I didn’t go to her bedchamber. We were married for seven months when the maid found her dead in the bed. When I went up to see her, she had knitting needles stuck in her stomach.”
“And you don’t think that’s odd?”
“The curse is something that can’t be explained.”
“But that doesn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t have to.” This time he was the one who shifted in the bed.
She couldn’t make out exactly how he was lying since his body was no longer pressed up against hers. She did, however, feel his hand as it settled on her hip.
“You must not look at my face,” he insisted, his tone urging for her to accept what he was telling her. “We have something good between us. Don’t you feel it?”
“Yes, I feel it,” she whispered.
“Then let’s keep things like this. Don’t make the mistake my third wife did and bring a candle to light in front of me. She didn’t believe in the curse, and she’s dead. I didn’t even consummate that marriage, but she still died. There was nothing I could do to save any of the others. The only thing that will save you is if you don’t look at me.”
Viola would never understand the grip this so-called curse had on everyone. She was beginning to realize that no amount of reasoning was going to work. This belief in the thing had gone on for so long that it was ingrained into everyone. They were paralyzed with fear because of it. Thankfully, the butler wasn’t given over to it, or else she might think she was losing her mind.
“I want to grow old with you,” Evander whispered as he caressed the side of her face. “It’s been a long time since I’ve enjoyed a lady’s company. I didn’t think I was going to get another chance after my first wife died, but you’ve done that. You’ve shown me that it’s possible to love again. I don’t want to jeopardize that.”
What could she say to that? More than anything, she wanted to be with him. It didn’t bother her that she had to keep their times together in a dark attic. The darkness had disturbed her at first, but it didn’t anymore. In some ways, it had become comfortable. It gave them a sense of privacy from the rest of the world. It was easy to forget about everything else that took up so much of her day. Spending this time with him was a reprieve from her responsibilities and also from the sorrow over losing her brother. This was the one place where she truly felt at peace.
“I won’t do anything to jeopardize what we have,” she finally told him.
Then she leaned forward to seal her promise with a kiss.
***
The next morning, Viola went to visit her aunt and sisters. She knew the time would come when they had to go through her brother’s bedchamber and figure out what to do with his things, but it still startled her when she found her aunt and sisters sorting through the thi
ngs in his room.
“It’ll only get harder the longer we wait,” her aunt said.
Pretending she didn’t notice the way her aunt’s voice wavered, Viola nodded and came further into the room. His death hadn’t been so long ago, but in some ways, it seemed like years had gone by since she last saw him. She swallowed the lump in her throat and approached one of the trunks Pamela was setting his clothes in. She didn’t bother asking why they were doing this themselves instead of having one of the servants do it. She already knew. This was the only way left that they could be close to Oliver. These things were all they had left to remember him by.
“What will you do with his collection of playing cards?” Viola asked.
“We haven’t gotten that far,” Maud said as she turned from the armoire. “We just got started. Would you like them?”
She nodded. “Would you mind if I took them?” Viola hated to come right out and ask for them since her aunt and sisters might like them, too.
“You played cards with him more than the rest of us did,” her aunt said. “You should have them.”
“Thank you.” Viola went to the cabinet above the dresser and took the five playing card decks. It was hard to believe she’d never get to play another game with him, but in some ways, she did receive comfort in remembering the many games they’d enjoyed together. “It’s a strange thing, isn’t it? As much as I miss Oliver, I’m also struck with a warm feeling that he was in my life.”
Maud smiled at her. “If Oliver were here, he’d encourage you to focus more on the good times you two had. He didn’t like it when any of us were unhappy.”
Viola blinked back her tears. Her aunt was right. Oliver loved to laugh. He didn’t like it when anyone was sad. “It’s terrible that someone should be taken at such a young age.”
“It is a shame, but I like to think it’s not the number of our days that matter so much as how well we loved. Your brother did very well in that area.”