Achilles His Armour
Page 6
For if I see thee, be it but an instant,
Utterance fails me:
Silent my tongue is stricken, and a thrilling
Fire through all my flesh runs sharp and sudden;
Straight my sight fails within my eyes, a humming
Rings in my eardrums . . .
He stopped, dazed and bewildered. ‘I never believed anything so lovely could exist. . . .’ His voice tailed off.
‘She’s rather different from Homer, isn’t she?’ said Aspasia. ‘Sometimes,’ she went on, almost to herself, ‘I get homesick for the utter difference of that life, the parties and the dancing, the streams running through the apple orchards, the peace and beauty of it. You’ll find it all in those poems.’
Pericles had sat silent throughout this. He looked from one to the other, as if trying to find something elusive that just escaped his grasp. ‘There’s a good deal of truth in what Aspasia says,’ he remarked to Alcibiades at last. His voice was cool and detached; only a tiny beating pulse in his temple showed that he was not entirely oblivious of the sudden atmosphere that had sprung up. ‘But it would never do here. If you introduced that kind of life you’d destroy the entire balance of our society. Athenians are conservative folk.’ He stopped, as if to listen to the lame echoes of his own voice; then got up. ‘You’ve more to learn here than the way Ionian women thought and behaved in the past.’ He went out without looking at either of them.
Chapter 5
Nicias was annoyed by the absence of his diviner. The fellow who had taken his place was inefficient and unsympathetic. It was especially vexing now that such important events were in the air. Things were not going too well at the mines, either. The death-rate among the workers had been high lately, and there were disquieting rumours about the vein on his concession running out. He fussed and fretted. It was nearly a fortnight before the diviner came back, and when he did he looked perfectly well.’ I don’t believe he ever had fever at all,’ Nicias said testily to Hiero. The little secretary smiled.’ I’m afraid it was all my fault.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I took the liberty of using him on a highly confidential matter.’
Nicias said, with something of his old sarcasm: ‘Kindly explain what this—confidential matter may have been.’
‘It concerns young Alcibiades.’
‘What have I to do with him? He’s a graceless irreligious scoundrel, but he’s never offended me personally.’
‘It isn’t that sort of thing. The truth is that he has been involved in a peculiarly scandalous affair. As Pericles’ closest friend I thought you should be acquainted with the facts, so that if you considered it your duty’—he smiled obsequiously—‘you could take steps to present him with certain information.’
‘Hiero, please, come to the point. Are you suggesting that Alcibiades has dishonoured his guardian in some way?’
‘I wouldn’t have believed it unless I had proof. It is a thing which any law-abiding person would regard with unspeakable horror.’ He paused to gain effect, then said quickly: ‘There can be no doubt that the boy has been, and still is, indulging in a clandestine relationship with his guardian’s—with Aspasia.’
If Hiero had expected to produce any effect by his news, the results far exceeded his hopes. Nicias’ face, normally sallow, went first white, then livid. He said, in a choked voice: ‘You swear this is true?’
‘There can be no doubt about it. They have been meeting in the countryside. Aspasia went to these meetings disguised as a boy. Lately, it seems, they have become bolder. I am fairly certain that . . . illicit relations . . . have taken place in the house. Alcibiades is often at home during the daytime, when one would expect him to be in the City.’
‘In Pericles’ own house! . . .’ said Nicias. He was trembling, and Hiero watched him with curiosity. He had been meaning to say much more, hinting gently as to the desirability of having Alcibiades safely out of the way during the difficult coming months; but it was clear that such suggestions were unnecessary. Was it possible that Nicias himself had hoped to acquire more than Pericles’ power?
‘You did quite right to tell me,’ said Nicias at length. He coughed, and clutched at his chest. ‘I shall see Pericles as soon as possible.’ He strode nervously round the room.
‘If I might make a suggestion,’ said Hiero, ‘I think it would be advisable to be as discreet as possible. It would be highly embarrassing for a person in Pericles’ position to be exposed to unwelcome publicity. One need hardly try to imagine what the comic poets would make of such a situation.’
Nicias said, in a somewhat calmer voice: ‘Of course, you’re right. Pericles has quite enough opposition to contend with already. It would be cruel to add a genuine scandal to the imaginary ones.’
‘Quite. I shouldn’t let your . . . natural anger and sense of decency betray you into taking any steps personally against the boy. Perhaps if you could have a quiet talk with Pericles, preferably not at his house? Suggest that he goes home one afternoon unannounced. He will probably not believe an unsupported statement.’
Nicias nodded. ‘I shall go to the Council Chamber at once,’ he said.
• • • • •
Alcibiades ran his fingers through Aspasia’s dark hair. ‘Lie quite still. I want to look at you.’
‘Don’t do that. It’s cruel. I’m getting old.’
‘You’ll never grow old.’ He very gently traced his fingers over her forehead, where the hair grew thickly to a point; touched her lips, and in one movement passed his hands lightly down her slender neck till they rested on her breasts.
‘I can’t imagine life without you,’ he said. ‘You give me a peace, a wholeness, a sense of completion that I never thought possible. When you first loved me I was dazzled by a new sensation. I didn’t think: I just accepted you with all the other things I discovered.’
Aspasia smiled, and a fretwork of tiny lines showed momentarily at the corners of her eyes. ‘I knew that.’
‘Is there anything you didn’t know? You taught me what no one else could: how to be happy, how to find peace in another person. You showed me the supreme joy of giving myself.’ He kissed her, gently and tenderly.
‘What about Socrates? I’m told I ought to be jealous. Are you so changed after all?’
Alcibiades said, stumbling over his words, the ideas confused in his mind: ‘I don’t want Socrates in that way. He makes me . . . almost ashamed of myself. He follows what he believes in so unswervingly. I can’t help admiring him. Sometimes I feel I want to break down his resolves, make him admit he’s only human. He says that all the things I want are worthless. Sometimes he almost convinces me.’ He said softly, his cheek resting against hers, ‘If it hadn’t been for you I think he would have done.’
Aspasia looked up at him, her eyes troubled. ‘I don’t think you’ll ever be able to know peace for long. Sometimes I feel I’m to blame. I’ve shown you a world you didn’t know, yes. But it’s a world that’s unthinkable to almost everyone in this city. Socrates is right: one can’t go against the Law. All your life now you’ll have divided loyalties, doubts, hesitations.’
Alcibiades took her in his arms and said, almost in a whisper: ‘Socrates tried to show me what love was, but his love is only a pale ghost of the truth. In this I am wiser than he is. Everything I do, everything I aim for is for you. He accused me of wanting power and wealth for myself. It was all I could do not to tell him the truth. I don’t ask anything of you except that you love me of your free will. I only know that whatever I do, wherever I go, I want you to be with me, and your happiness or sadness to be bound up with mine.’
They remained motionless for a long moment, and then he felt her shaking, and looking at her saw that her eyes were full of tears.
‘What’s the matter? Have I said something to hurt you?’
‘No, my darling. It’s not your fault. What you’ve just said is something . . . I never thought I would hear now. But it’s too late.’
His arms close about her, he said: ‘What do you want me to do? Whatever it is, I shall do it. The only thing I wish is your happiness.’
She stroked his golden hair. Then she took a deep breath and said: ‘We must stop seeing each other as lovers.’
‘I know.’
Her body trembled, and her arms tightened around him convulsively. It was as if she were trying to fuse them into one person with the intensity of her passion.
‘For the last time, then,’ she murmured.
• • • • •
The moment he came into the room, in answer to Pericles’ summons, he knew something was desperately wrong. Pericles himself sat at the head of the table as if he were presiding over the Council; his face was grey, and he looked an old man. Aspasia sat on a low stool, completely motionless. And standing nervously in front of them was a spare figure that he recognised as Nicias. He stood uncertainly in the doorway.
‘Come in,’ said Pericles in a flat voice. ‘Shut the door, and bolt it.’
Alcibiades shot the bolt and walked slowly forward till he was in front of Nicias. Nicias did not meet his gaze; his eyes flickered away, as if trying to find some safe and neutral resting-place. The boy felt his heart pounding, so loudly that it seemed as if everyone in the room must hear it. There was a slight nausea in the pit of his stomach, and his throat was dry.
Pericles said: ‘I believe you have not met Nicias before. I think you had better know that he has come here to me with a most . . . serious accusation. He declares he has proof that you and Aspasia—’ he faltered only for an instant—‘are lovers. In view of the gravity of the charge, I have brought all those concerned together to have an opportunity to say what they will as to the truth of such allegations.’
Alcibiades remained silent. He clenched and unclenched his hands. It’s so unfair, he thought confusedly. But the very desperateness of the situation sharpened his faculties. His blood was still pounding, yet it was in quite a calm voice that he said, not to Pericles but to Nicias:
‘Do you claim to have the proof of reliable witnesses?’ I must keep Nicias talking, he thought feverishly. I can make him look a fool. Once Pericles gets control of the situation, it’s the end.
Nicias said: ‘I do not consider I am obliged to reveal to you the source of my information. You are here to answer to an accusation, not to question me.’
Excellent, thought Alcibiades. Better than I had hoped. Aloud he said: ‘With all respect, I do not feel you realise the gravity of what you are saying. You make a most serious allegation, and then refuse to reveal the grounds you have for making it. Could it be that they don’t exist? Oh yes: you have plenty of good reasons for wanting me out of the way, and your . . . natural piety isn’t the main one. Everyone knows that you and that damned little secretary of yours are planning to get power after my guardian’s death. It’s common talk all over the City.’ He was quite reckless now. ‘And,’ he went on before Nicias could interrupt, ‘there’s another rumour, too. It’s probably got about as much foundation as the one you’ve come here with today, and it’s a remarkably similar one. They say that you think you’ll inherit Aspasia’s favours when that day comes.’ Aspasia looked up quickly. Alcibiades did not notice her: he was watching Nicias’ face. It had become horribly suffused.
‘What a general you’ll make! What a leader of the people! Why, you cowardly sot, you haven’t the strength to wipe your own nose unless Hiero tells you to.’ He spoke as if Pericles were not in the room.
Nicias found his voice and said: ‘I did not come here to be insulted by a half-grown boy. He has not yet answered to my charge—’
Alcibiades broke in desperately: ‘I ask you again, what is your evidence? That little toady of yours or one of his minions? Or perhaps one of your slaves? They wouldn’t need much persuading to get them out of the mines. If I were in their shoes I’d lie my head off for a handful of coppers.’
Nicias looked down. Then he said: ‘I am my own evidence. I saw the incident myself. Can you impugn my word as a gentleman?’
There was a dead silence. It was Pericles who broke it. ‘I think,’ he observed, in a carefully dispassionate voice, ‘that we have had quite enough recriminations. I now put it to you, Alcibiades, as a direct question: do you deny this allegation or not?’
He’s not human, thought Alcibiades. How could he behave like this if he loved her? Then he looked straight into his guardian’s eyes, and the naked truth he saw there appalled him.
Aspasia said, quietly, ‘There has been, and will be, much lost over this business. I would prefer not to add my dignity to the loss. The charge is true.’
Alcibiades dropped his head. Pericles said to Nicias: ‘I must thank you for your public-spiritedness. I am sure you will understand if I now ask you to withdraw.’
Nicias bowed, and, turned to the door. When he was gone, Pericles said:
‘I am not going to read you a speech on ingratitude: I’m not such a fool.’ He sat very still, holding his hands clasped on the table in front of him. ‘I know that in many ways I am to blame for what has occurred. If it were my wife to whom this had happened’—his steady gaze never faltered—‘I might have been tempted to exercise my rights in the matter. I should feel anger, but I cannot. For many reasons, which I have no doubt you were about to tell me, but which I will spare you the trouble of rehearsing, it would be difficult for me to take any public action against you.’ Alcibiades suddenly felt the utter nakedness of his guardian as he spoke. The voice went on, in the same dry, precise fashion:
‘I have no legal redress for this occurrence. Even if I had—supposing I charged you on religious grounds, for example—the mere publication of the facts would make my position quite untenable. There are occasions when one has to decide between personal satisfaction and the public good. This is one of them. The time is, going to come soon when the City will have need of me. I am not going to let myself be driven from the position I hold to gratify my own desires.
‘You may say if you will that I wish to avoid the personal shame of a scandal. That could be true, but it is not the whole truth. It is plain that you cannot continue to live under my roof. I am therefore going to enable you to maintain an establishment of your own. You come of age in a month or two; from that date you will be entitled to your own house. I shall make over your inheritance to you immediately, however. It will be more convenient for both of us. As to the reasons to be publicly given for such a premature step, they will form part of the penalty you must bear. I shall announce to my relatives that you have run away to the house of one of your lovers—shall, we say Demostratus? I fancy he will be in no hurry to deny the suggestion.
‘I am in no position to refuse you your inheritance by law, and I would not even if I could. How you waste your money is your own affair. But I shall take steps to see that when you are admitted to citizenship as an adult, you are debarred from the order of Knights to which your birth and wealth entitle you. The order is an honourable one, and while I live I shall see that it is kept so. I think that is all. I shall arrange with the notaries during the next few days for the transfer of your estate.’ He paused. ‘One last thing,’ he added. ‘I shall require you to swear that during my lifetime you will never attempt to see or speak to Aspasia again.’
Alcibiades inclined his head. ‘I swear it,’ he said.
Aspasia said: ‘Shall I not swear also?’
‘The law takes no heed of the oath of a woman.’
‘But the Gods do. I am a free and responsible person. If this oath is to be taken, I must take it too. I swear as Alcibiades has sworn.’ She looked at Pericles and said: ‘If it is your will, I too will leave you.’
‘That would be inadvisable. Are you forgetting that our duty is to silence the voice of scandal? No: you must stay here.’ His voice changed. ‘I have not, and I shall not, ask who was to blame in this affair. There can be no blame; it is worthless to try and apportion it. Sufficient that what has happened has happened.’ To Alcibiades he said: ‘Is everything I have said quite clear? Good. Then I think nothing need keep you here longer. Till you can make arrangements for the purchase of a house of your own, I suggest you trespass on the hospitality of your admirers. Your personal belongings will be sent on to whatever address you leave. You will now please go.’ Then, as Alcibiades still hesitated, his self-control broke, and he screamed, ‘Get out! Get out!’ in a queer half-strangled voice.
But what Pericles and Aspasia said to one another in the long hours that followed Alcibiades never knew.
Chapter 6
Nicias celebrated the success of his scheme by getting extremely drunk; being by nature abstemious, he suffered as a result. When he told Hiero what had happened the dwarf rubbed his nose and said: ‘It’s not so good as it might have been. The boy hasn’t been publicly disgraced. There isn’t any strong feeling against him. But he’s going to lose all the influence he might have had with Pericles, which is the main thing.’ He paused, frowning. ‘There isn’t any purpose to be served by people knowing the truth. If they did, it might provoke a public crisis exactly at the wrong time.’
‘Why exactly?’
‘Have you forgotten Thucydides? His term of exile comes to an end next year. As soon as he returns the popular party is going to have a leader again.’
‘They’ve been pretty quiet lately.’
‘Yes. I don’t like it, sir. There are far too many secret clubs being formed. A man named Cleon seems to be behind a lot of the activity. A tanner, I believe.’
Nicias wrinkled his nose. ‘It’s quite bad enough to have the prospect of a possible war on our hands,’ he said, ‘let alone political trouble at home.’