Blue

by Ford, Brynn

  “Law, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. And you can rest assured that I will. You don’t need to remind me that I can choose. That doesn’t make you a gentleman to pretend that such a reminder is in kind.”

  His eyes widened, surprised by my sharp words and tone and I heard Asher chuckle. Ris held steady. She made no indication whatsoever that she might be aware of anything happening around her.

  Law’s eyebrows went from high in surprise to low in furrow as he considered my statement. His head tilted slightly to the side as he studied my face for a beat. It felt like he could see inside my soul and it seemed unfair, like a violation of my privacy.

  “Somehow I find myself apologizing for the second time tonight and clearly I’m in way over my head with bringing you here. I’m sorry, Blue. You’re right. You don’t need a man to remind you of your free will. No one here will take that from you without your consent. Okay?” he paused, “Though as you’re going to see here, it can be a hell of a lot of fun to let someone else make your decisions. I didn’t mean to offend you, Desi.”

  His use of my real name made the sentiment feel more sincere. It didn’t bother me, surprisingly, that he’d given it away to these strangers.

  He continued, “Not everyone is as strong as you, some need permission to feel empowered enough to do as they wish and leave.”

  “I’m not one of those people.”

  He smiled, “I understand that now.”

  I nodded my encouragement to get back to the scene and left it at that. I felt I had perhaps been a little rude and didn’t want to push it anymore. I was ready to see what he had to show me.

  Law snapped his attention back to Ris, behaving as if I had never been in the room at all and no exchange of words had occurred. He focused on her as he circled her like a hawk, watching its prey’s last moments alive before being snatched and taken for supper. I felt my chest rise sharply as I took in a deep breath. I saw Ris do the same.

  Standing in front of her, he towered above, looking down at her, “Angel,” he called her, and I realized this seemed to trigger her submission.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Have you been a good girl for Asher?”

  “Always, Sir.”

  “And will you be a good girl for me?”

  “Always, Sir.”

  “Let your hair down,” he commanded.

  She sat back on her heels, lifting her hands to her hair. Her fingers swept nimbly through the tresses finding and pulling a few perfectly placed bobby pins from her updo and tossing them across the floor. She shook out her blonde curls, so they tossed in waves down her back. Her hair was long, like mine, dusting low beneath her shoulder blades. She leaned forward, planting her palms against the floor again to return to her position.

  “Where did you put my toys, Angel?”

  “On the table, Sir.”

  Law stepped away, crossing to the table at the back and opening a plain, black duffel bag that I hadn’t noticed there before. He pulled out item after item, placing them on the table in an orderly fashion. He found a small length of rope from the bag and came back to her, moving around behind her. I watched Ris as her breath caught momentarily and then her chest began to rise and fall rapidly. I was curious, so curious, to know if it was from fear or excitement or some other emotion I knew nothing about. I wanted to ask, but I also wanted to wait and watch.

  He stepped over her. Squeezing his legs together, he held her waist between his knees as he stood there, straddling her midsection. He leaned down over her back and gathered her hair, softly pulling it into a low ponytail at the base of her neck. As he gripped the tail, he yanked back suddenly and forcefully, pulling her head back. The angle he held her at must have been painful. If she turned her eyes upward, she’d nearly be able to look at him as he bent down over her from behind.

  A whimper hummed from her lips as he pulled harder.

  “Does that feel good, Angel?”

  “Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir,” she said breathlessly.

  “Tell Blue how it feels. Tell her why you like this.”

  “It’s sharp, it stings, it tingles, Sir. I want more of this pain, Sir. It wakes me up and sedates my overworked brain all at once, Sir.”

  He took the rope and tied a strong knot around the base of her ponytail. He began to wrap it tightly around her hair, spiraling it down to sheath her mess of curls almost entirely. It went around and around and around to the tips before he tied it off at the ends.

  “Angel,” Law commanded, and the one word drew her attention back to him.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Do you remember how to get more of what you want with me?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I have to beg for it, Sir.”

  “That’s right. So, beg. Beg for what you want me to do to you.”

  My initial reaction was a lightning bolt through my gut, putting me in a sense of unease. She said she wanted pain, but it seemed so bizarre that someone would choose to be hurt. Even more bizarre that someone would ask for it, beg for it. I was running from pain and I wondered then why Law wanted to show me this.

  I swallowed hard, my brain latched onto my most painful memory of loss and it forced a shot of adrenaline through my body, jumpstarting my fight or flight reflex. It screamed through my veins, imploring me to run from this, to squash my curiosity, to walk right out that emergency exit and never talk to Law again. But that same adrenaline also shot right through my core with the excitement of danger and the unknown. I felt lust growing unexpectedly inside me and it made my knees wobble. I couldn’t be feeling this way now, not here, not as I’m watching Law.

  No.

  Stop, Desi.

  Vaughn. Think of Vaughn.

  I willed my body to calm. I begged my mind to focus on the uneven balance of power, his control over her, the degradation of it, how wrong this should be. But I wasn’t sure it was wrong.

  “Please, Sir,” Ris began, “I want you to hurt me, leave marks on my body, Sir. I want you to tie me up, spank me, flog me, make me cry, Sir. Please, I need it, Sir.”

  “Does Asher allow you to beg with your back turned to him?”

  “Yes, Sir, when he pins me down on my stomach, Sir.”

  “You’ve forgotten that I don’t allow it. I want your eyes. Always your eyes.”

  Law tugged at her hair once more and then let her go unexpectedly, causing her head to fall forward abruptly. She let out a breath as he stepped to her side. Law pulled his right arm back and shot it forward with a flat hand, spanking her so hard on the ass that her skin rippled from the force and her body rocked forward on her hands and knees.

  Ris sucked in a sharp breath, “Thank you, Sir.”

  Words tumbled from my mouth, “Thank you? Why are you thanking him?”

  “Tell her why, Angel,” Law instructed.

  “I deserve the punishment for begging you with my back turned to you, Sir. You deserve my gratitude for reminding me of my place, Sir.”

  Ris sounded so strange, so lost in desperate desire. The look on her face gave me a taste of her desperation. It was the look of a woman lost in pleasure, even when he delivered pain. Law continued on as if there wasn’t a woman with questions observing oddly in the corner.

  “Now beg me properly, Angel,” he told her, “Bra off. Eyes on me.”

  Ris sat back on her heels again and looked up at Law from her spot on the floor. She scooted toward him on her knees until her face was inches from his belt buckle. Her hands disappeared behind her back as she worked to undo the clasp of her bra, letting it fall to the floor. Her eyes never left Law’s and his never left hers.

  “I give my body to you freely, Sir, please give me pain. Punish me, mark me, make me worthy of Asher’s reward, Sir. Please, please hurt me, Sir.”

  “That’s a good girl,” he said, then nodded to Asher, “Now be good for Asher while I get some more rope to string you up.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

&nb
sp; Law turned away to search through the duffel bag as Asher stepped up behind her. Asher was more physical with her, aggressive, forceful, where Law had the ability to dominate her with only a word.

  Asher reached around from behind to pinch her chin in his large hand. I didn’t have a good feeling about Asher and I didn’t know why. Maybe it was just his age that intimidated me. His rough beard reminded me of Vaughn’s, though Asher’s was trimmed shorter and colored like salt and pepper. He was attractive enough, but there was something about him that just seemed off.

  Asher’s hand slipped from her chin to her throat and he squeezed, pulling her back against him hard, “Do you want more, Angel?”

  “Yes, Sir,” she managed to choke out, though he had to be cutting off her air supply.

  He squeezed tighter and tighter. Her hands came up to grab his forearm on instinct to pull him away, but he kept squeezing. It made me nervous that she couldn’t spit out a safeword if she needed to.

  “Law,” I demanded his attention.

  He glanced at me, then looked back at them, then looked back at me and shrugged, “She’s fine.”

  “How could you possibly know that?”

  “Because I know her and she’s fine. Don’t interfere.”

  Ris was clawing at Asher’s hands now. He was literally holding her upright by her throat.

  I couldn’t help but interfere, “Hey, you’re hurting her, she can’t talk to give you a safeword,” I said, stepping forward and shooting daggers from my eyes at Asher.

  He looked up at me and smiled. It felt ill-intentioned. I decided then I didn’t like him. He let her go and she dropped to the floor, catching herself on her palms. She gasped for air, chest heaving, as the pink in her cheeks slowly came back. I stepped forward, wanting to help her, somehow, but Law rushed me the moment my foot left the floor to take another step. He didn’t touch me, but he halted me with his presence, standing directly in front of me.

  “Stop, Blue, she’s fine. I told you not to interfere.”

  I didn’t believe him until I peaked around his shoulder and saw her smiling. Ris was still on all fours and she was fucking smiling, “Thank you,” she finally said, “thank you, Sir.”

  The word, “Oh,” escaped me and my hand came to my chest, palm flat against the center as if trying to hold back my heart that threatened to break my ribcage by beating out of control.

  Law must have noticed something in me I hadn’t noticed myself, “You feel that, don’t you?”

  “What?”

  “What she feels.”

  My breathing picked up, “I don’t know what she feels.”

  I could guess.

  “Then ask her.”

  My brain stuttered under the intensity of his gaze and I stared at him, silently.

  Without taking his eyes off me, Law said, “Angel, tell Blue how you feel.”

  She was still a little breathless, “Alive, Sir.”

  “Do you like it, Angel?” he asked her.

  “Yes, Sir. I like it very much, Sir.”

  “Do you feel safe?”

  “Yes, Sir. Green as grass, Sir.”

  It took me a moment, but I recognized that Green was on the Common Safeword and Consent Policy I signed. It wasn’t so much a safeword as a common way to confirm that she was doing just fine.

  Law’s eyes were still locked with mine as he spoke and they smoldered as he asked her, “Are you wet?”

  “Soaking through my panties, Sir."

  Her response to such a private question was brazen and clear without hesitation. She was free in that way, though under the control of these two dominant men. She was free to feel.

  That scared me a little but I wanted to know more, so I asked her, “Why does it turn you on?”

  Law commanded, “Answer her, Angel.”

  She sat back on her knees as Asher pulled her upright from the floor by her rope covered ponytail.

  “There’s freedom in pleasure, I’m sure Blue is aware, Sir. But most people don’t allow themselves to feel the liberation of pain, of allowing their limits to be pushed, their boundaries expanded, Sir. Things you would never believe can make you come harder than you’ve ever dreamed of, Sir. I’m in control all day long. I don’t have to be in control here if I don’t want to, though sometimes I enjoy it, Sir.”

  Asher yanked her back against him at that and reached around, slapping her right breast so hard it immediately turned pink. I cringed as she screamed out. Her hips wriggled subtly, but the movement was clear. It was a movement to seek relief from pleasure building between her legs.

  “Thank you, Sir,” she smiled before continuing, “I don’t have to think when I submit, Sir. I don’t have to feel anything other than what you want me to feel, Sir. My problems aren’t my problems anymore, they are yours, Sir, and I trust you to take care of my needs with pain and pleasure, Sir.”

  She must have been talking about Asher, but her eyes kept darting toward Law surreptitiously.

  Law turned toward her with more black rope in his hands, “You’re quite poetic when you’re in pain, Angel. Or do you need more for me to free your mind from such eloquent thoughts?

  Whimpering, Ris pleaded, “Yes, Sir. Give me more, please, Sir.”

  As Law moved toward her and began crisscrossing rope around her body in a skillful and brilliantly artistic manner, I considered what she had to say.

  Something clicked with me in her explanation. I’d been running from my emotional pain for a while, running far and running fast. I had no choice but to flee when the pain bubbled, threatening to rise to the surface and explode, usually at Vaughn’s expense. I would give anything, do anything to have a break from the mental pain I felt every day, to find a way to push through it rather than exhaust myself in constant escape attempts.

  I think I understand what Law’s trying to show me.

  Her wrists were crossed behind her back now and Law kneeled behind her with the tail ends of the long rope. It was wrapped tightly around her breasts, looping over and under and around them. He began to tie her hands together in intricate knots, looping until they were bound tightly in secure, neat layers. The remaining ends of the rope dangled in a large heap against the floor as he let go and his hands came up to land on her shoulders.

  “You’re doing well, Angel,” he leaned forward, putting his lips close to her ear, “Take what I have to give you and Asher will reward you.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  His right hand slipped down over the front of her shoulder, gliding softly over her collarbone, before grabbing her breast. She moaned and he pulled her back against his chest. He grazed his fingers over her nipples gently, caressing her in such stark contrast to the way Asher had slapped her there.

  “Good cop, bad cop?” I blurted unintentionally.

  Shit, did I just say that out loud? That’s so fucking embarrassing.

  Thankfully no one seemed to be paying attention to me anymore.

  When Ris moaned again, louder, it echoed through the room, her head falling back on him as she allowed him to please her. That’s when I realized I felt it, everything she was feeling.

  The hitch in my breath.

  The rippling chill and tingle across my skin.

  The clenching of my core.

  The dampening of my panties.

  I wanted that, I wanted to be her. I wanted to be able to let go and replace mental anguish with physical sensation. I didn’t know if that meant I was a horrible person for getting turned on by this or if it just made me human for having a physical response to the porn movie playing out just feet in front of me.

  All I knew was that I wanted to be kneeling there, bound and controlled, a slave to sensation. I couldn’t help but wonder how good Law’s gentle hands must feel against her breasts that were still pink from being slapped.

  No.

  NO.

  My abrupt desperation to be touched had linked itself to Law, drawing a connection between what this man was doing to her and what he
could be doing to me. I felt sick, wrong, dirty, deserving of punishment. Punishment Law could give me.

  No, Desi.

  You don’t want him, you want the feeling.

  You want Vaughn.

  Always Vaughn.

  You love Vaughn.

  My inner voice scrambled, convincing me that my reaction to this scene must be normal. It was a physical reaction, nothing more. It had nothing to do with Law. It couldn’t.

  I watched Ris carefully, noticing the gentle but deep rise and fall of her breaths, the way in which she focused on her breathing to distract from the way she was being bound and restricted.

  As Law wrapped more rope tightly over her hip and in between her legs, Ris groaned and said, “Yellow.”

  Law stopped immediately, “What’s wrong?”

  “That’s too tight, around my left hip, Sir.”

  He didn’t hesitate to unwrap his work, moving quickly to relieve her and readjust the bindings, “How’s that? Okay?”

  She nodded, “Yes, good, Green, Sir.”

  He continued on then as if nothing had happened. I felt comforted to see how quickly he responded to her safeword, her need to pause and readjust.

  “Good,” he said after he was finished and patted her ass before standing.

  He bent down to grab her elbow and pulled her to stand. He asked Asher to help him as they used the long, dangling ends of the rope to suspend her from a hook in the ceiling. She was able to put her weight through her feet, but the way the ropes were tied forced her to stand bent forward from the waist at a right angle, the ties from the ceiling holding her up from her back. If she lifted her feet off the floor, she would dangle and spin freely.

  Law appeared suddenly at my side.

  “Are you aware that you’ve been moving closer and closer to us this whole time? Inch by tiny little inch?”

  I turned my head to look behind me and found he wasn’t lying. I had started in the corner of the room and had somehow travelled within a few feet of Ris as I watched them, without even realizing it.

  I jumped as Law reached out, wrapping his hand around my wrist and squeezing gently. Electricity shot through me at the point of contact. He watched me curiously as he held my wrist, quiet, waiting.