Blue

by Ford, Brynn

  I felt proud that other women could admire his tattooed and muscular frame. I took pride in knowing that any other woman in the world that threw herself at Vaughn would fall at his feet, knowing that he would step over them all just to get to me. I still didn't feel like I deserved that. I still didn't fully understand why he chose me. But I was teaching myself that it was true, teaching myself to accept the fact of his unconditional love even when I felt like the person most unworthy of it. He was teaching me to do that as my dominant, through the disciplined paces he put my tortured mind through.

  I looked at the girl who'd checked him out, though he knew I was speaking to him, "I hope you do bite it. Hard."

  I caught her eye for a moment before she looked away, pretending to look at something more interesting, and shifted in her seat.

  "God, I love you," he beamed at me, smiling from ear-to-ear.

  I melted from solid human form to a liquid, love-sick puddle.

  "I love you more."

  "Not possible, but I'll take it."

  My heart was thumping out of my chest as we looked at each other.

  I think I'm slipping.

  Reversing.

  I've gone back in time from jaded, hopeless, broken-hearted young adult to invincible, head-over-heels in love, horny-as-hell, teenager.

  I felt light, like I was floating, hovering above reality and completely ignorant of the people crowded around us in the train's cabin. I gave him full eye contact, letting myself get lost in the gray flecks swirling around the honey colored irises.

  "Can I fall in love with you over and over again?"

  The flecks danced around his eyes, "I'll give you every reason to, whatever it takes, Des."

  I kissed him, close-mouthed but tender and willing.

  "I want you to hurt me tonight. Be rough with me. Bruise me. Then be gentle and show me how much you love me," I breathed out the words as a barely audible whisper, words just for him.

  His features were yielding, soft, relaxed. His voice was confident, as always.

  "I will, babe," he smirked playfully, "Ex-Side Guy may be willing to show me how to use a cane on you."

  What?

  “Fucking hell, can we not call him Ex-Side Guy? That's just…seriously…good, God."

  He laughed so brightly it made my core clench delightfully, desiring whatever his wicked sense of humor could dream up.

  “I promised you in the beginning I would keep an open mind and let him teach me some things. Well, he’s open to teaching me some things. And I think Ex-Side Guy is rather fitting, don't you?"

  "No," I said honestly, "It reminds me that I'm a shitty wife."

  "You're not a shitty wife, babe. But I can go back to calling him motherfucker if you prefer. That's still his name in my phone contacts."

  I laughed.

  "But Vaughn, isn't it…I don't know…weird? Is it weird for you if we go to Black Ties? Is it weird to see him after what we all did the last time? I haven't talked to him since then."

  The corners of Vaughn’s lips turned up into a twisted smile.

  “I really enjoyed torturing you that first night we went to Black Ties. I had a lot of fun watching you squirm and I want to do it again. Call me crazy, but I actually don't feel all that weird about it,” he looked off across the cabin for a brief moment with a pensive expression before looking back to me, "I'm probably totally crazy. I don't really give a fuck."

  It made me feel happy to hear him say that for some reason. Probably because together, our crazy was balanced.

  “So you want to…you're saying…”

  “All I’m saying is that my mind is open. Law's a good guy," his face cringed dramatically, before making a miraculous return to happy, "And I’ve learned a few things that I think you’ll someday find very interesting.”

  He flashed his teeth and my panties dissolved into non-existence at the look of his killer smile.

  “But you’re not worried about me seeing him again?”

  He went on, “I’m not worried about a fucking thing. You know why? 'Cause you’re mine, Holly Blue,” his hand on my thigh slowly moved upward, dangerously close to being inappropriate here on the train, “And you’re going to follow my rules. Isn’t that right, Blue?”

  I smirked, “Yes, V.”

  His lips were against my ear again, his voice getting softer and softer as he spoke and I was leaning into him, already damp with need.

  “So when we get home, I’ll make you dinner. You’ll eat. Then you’ll doll yourself up like you're desperate to be noticed. And when we get to Black Ties, you’ll be my good little girl, won’t you?”

  “God, yes, V.”

  Chapter 32

  Desi

  “Hey, sweetheart.”

  A happy little tingle shot down my spine when I heard his voice from above and behind me. Vaughn and I were sitting on a couch toward the back of the Party Room at Black Ties when I heard him. Vaughn was holding me tightly against him as we made out like a couple of horny teenagers. I pulled back and Vaughn smiled at me, giving his approval with a small tilt of his head.

  I hopped up and spun around and there he was. The man I had started to think I would never speak to again was right there, beaming at me. Law’s dark, wavy hair was rumpled to intentionally imperfect perfection and he was looking sharp, as usual, in his tailored black suit and tie. I shouldn’t be so childishly happy to see the man I cheated with, least of all with my husband right behind me. But I just couldn’t hold back my joy. I raised onto my toes to give him a proper hug and I sighed in relief when he hugged me back.

  He squeezed, perhaps, a little too tight for a little too long, but if Vaughn wasn’t going to snatch me away from him, then I was happy to hold on.

  Law’s breath was warm next to my ear, “I missed you and your beautiful face, sweetheart.”

  I smiled as all the air in my lungs rushed out of me, “I missed you.”

  Vaughn tugged at the ends of my waist long hair as an indication that was enough and I obliged him by stepping back. He pulled me down to sit on his lap, staking claim to me.

  My short dress only came down mid-thigh when standing and it bunched toward my hips as I sat without preparation. I clutched the emerald green, sequined fabric at the hem, but Vaughn put his hand over mine, halting me before I could adjust it.

  “Leave it alone,” he smirked, “Easier access this way.”

  I blushed about fifty different shades of pink and smacked his chest, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment with a smile.

  Law lowered himself gracefully to sit on the couch beside us, unbuttoning his jacket before leaning back casually, crossing an ankle over his knee.

  “You look amazing, Blue,” Law told me.

  “Thank you.”

  My face felt warm but it could’ve just been a flush from my vigorous make out with Vaughn just moments ago. I nervously tucked a strand of hair behind my ear as Law smiled at me.

  “How’s the search going?” Vaughn asked him.

  What search? What is he talking about?

  Law replied, “I’m still a little too preoccupied to give it much attention.”

  Vaughn cocked an eyebrow at him, “You know your preoccupation with this one is just distracting you from finding a new sub.”

  “You’re looking for a new sub?” I asked pointlessly.

  Law grinned, “Well, sweetheart, I asked your husband if I could have you and he said no. So the search is ongoing.”

  “Oh.”

  “To be clear, no such request was made,” Vaughn pointed out.

  “Why did you say that?” I asked, genuinely wondering because it seemed like an odd thing for him to feel the need to make clear.

  He looked confused himself, shaking his head, “I don’t actually know.”

  “You’re make out drunk, babe,” I reasoned.

  “Nah, I’m Desi drunk. You just have that effect on me.”

  Swoon.

  Law leaned forward suddenly, calling my
attention to him with a serious expression directed at Vaughn, “Why did you say that, Vaughn? If I had made such a request, what would you have said?”

  “What?” the word slipped out of my mouth sharply in response.

  Vaughn was silent for a few tense beats. His forehead wrinkled and furrowed, his attention narrowed at Law. He was rigid and focused in the way that a wild animal might be when something bigger came along, stalking his pack.

  I was proud of him for not jumping out of his seat on the attack. As I watched him watch Law, I realized his expression was in consideration more so than it was territorially staking claim. When Vaughn finally spoke, it was slow and deliberate. Almost too deliberate. As if he needed to say the words more than he wanted to.

  “Desi is my wife. She can’t be your submissive.”

  “I know that,” Law said to Vaughn, completely ignoring me, “But what if I asked to have her for myself? Just once.”

  Oh, dear God.

  Is he asking?

  “What the fuck do you mean by ‘have her?’”

  “Do you really need me to spell it out for you, Vaughn? I want permission to fuck your wife.”

  “Oh, shit,” it came out of my mouth in reflex and I jumped to my feet.

  I had no idea where I thought I was going. My body just moved, probably trying to get me out of the way of Vaughn’s fists in the likely event that he started swinging. Law touching me through the end of a riding crop with Vaughn there to direct was one thing, fucking me on his own was quite another.

  “Desi,” Vaughn snapped, “What are you doing?” he looked up at me, confused at my reaction.

  I yanked at the three-quarter length sleeves of my fully sequined mini-dress, feeling like my arms were suddenly too restricted.

  “I don’t know?” I said it as a question.

  “Sit your ass back down then,” he told me and I slowly lowered myself onto the couch.

  The space where I sat between them was awkward, tense, and completely overwhelming.

  “Well, here we are in again in Awkwardville.”

  Law’s hand landed on my knee and moved ever so slightly up my exposed thigh. Hy heart stopped beating and pleasure tugged low in my belly.

  He spoke to me, though his eyes were still imploring my husband for a response, “You’re endearing, sweetheart, and adorable as hell, but I really need you to shut the fuck up for a minute.”

  Oh, hell no.

  “Excuse me?” I snapped.

  Vaughn’s hand landed on the back of my head stroking my hair in the way one would calm their pet dog. I hated that it actually worked to soothe me.

  Fucking charming husband.

  “Enlighten me, Law. Why the hell would I wanna let you fuck my wife?”

  “Because you know she wants it, Vaughn. And I know you wanna give her everything she wants. You promised her you’d give her anything she wanted, didn’t you?” Law smirked at Vaughn with challenge in his blue eyes.

  Vaughn didn’t know how to back down from a direct challenge and Law had just called him out on a promise he’d made to me the first time we were at Black Ties. Only, Law had left before that promise was made and he couldn’t have known about it. The only way he would’ve known that is if Vaughn had said something to him, because I certainly hadn’t. Vaughn didn’t immediately take the bait Law was dangling.

  His fingers changed from stroking to digging into the strands of my hair, “That’s a bit of a stretch.”

  “Is it though? You let me beat her pussy with a riding crop before,” he gripped my thigh and I may have blacked out for a second, “I’m just asking you to let me beat it with my cock instead. Where do you draw the line, Vaughn?”

  I gaped at Law, my jaw practically on the floor, and Vaughn got quiet.

  Even though Law’s hand on my thigh and Vaughn’s fingers in my hair did really amazing things to my insides, this whole conversation was really starting to piss me off. They were talking about me as if I wasn’t there, as if Law could bargain for some sort of temporary rights to have his way with me, as if Vaughn could make such a decision on my behalf.

  But could he, as my dom?

  Of course not. Not with something like this.

  Assholes.

  “Hi. Hello. I’m right here, boys. Anyone wanna hear from me?”

  They both turned their attention to me abruptly, at the same time, and it was almost too much heat, too much intensity. I shrank back against the couch.

  “I don’t think we need to hear from you, Blue. We both know what you want. I’m asking your husband.”

  “Oh, really?” I looked at him incredulously, “And what do you think I want?”

  “You want me to let him fuck you,” Vaughn answered for him, “Don’t you, Blue?”

  Nope. Nope. Nope.

  I am not answering that.

  I will not answer that.

  I shook my head and stood, forcing them both to take their hands off me.

  “You're both assholes. I’m…just…”

  I huffed out a frustrated breath, words failing me, and I walked away, heading straight for the Party Room bar. Downstairs, in the members only area, there was a strict one drink per person policy to prevent any drunken escapades that might lead to scenes of questionable consent. Thankfully, I hadn’t had my one drink yet, so I asked for a straight shot of vodka.

  Vaughn and Law were both looking at me. My back was turned to them, so I only knew it because I could feel their eyes on me. I didn’t look back at them. I just settled myself comfortably on a cushioned barstool and ignored them, giving them space to finish squaring off and comparing dick sizes.

  I’d have been lying if I told Vaughn that I didn’t want Law to have his way with me. Truthfully, I did. And, of course, they both knew that. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that they were sitting there together, actually talking about this without ripping each other’s heads off.

  Surely this was just some sort of game they were playing to get a rise out of each other. Law would leave and Vaughn would take me home and this would just be a memory of an awkward encounter and a strange conversation at Black Ties.

  I felt anxious, my foot tapping the air restlessly with one leg crossed over the other. The bartender handed me the shot I ordered and I threw it back without hesitation. I folded my arms across my chest waiting for something to happen. I secretly hoped they’d both walk over here, grab me, take me to the back and ruin me together. I anticipated a shouting match and Vaughn dragging me home in a fit of rage.

  But neither happened.

  I waited and waited. I swiveled slightly in my seat to get some periphery on them, and I could see them still talking out of the corner of my eye. When it seemed clear that they had become so engrossed in conversation that they weren’t paying any attention to me, I turned myself fully to look at them both.

  Vaughn didn’t seem angry.

  Law was nodding.

  They looked like they were…negotiating.

  Holy fucking hell.

  I had no intention of looking away now. I wanted to see every facial expression, every subtle movement. I needed to know what they were saying. Another minute or two passed before Vaughn looked up at me and caught my eye. He smiled softly, clearly noting my closed off demeanor and the look of concern on my face. But then he turned his attention back to Law and kept talking.

  Oh, my God.

  What the hell is going on?

  “Hey, girl!”

  I jumped about a mile at the cheery tone of Ris as she appeared unexpectedly beside me.

  I put a hand over my heart, “Shit, Ris, you scared me.”

  I gave her a quick smile, but my attention shifted immediately back to the boys. She followed my gaze.

  “Oh, what’s happening over there?” her voice was filled with hopeful glee.

  “I don’t have a fucking clue.”

  “Miss?” a man said cautiously from behind Ris.

  He was young, probably about my age, attracti
ve, and the same height as Ris in her tall stilettos.

  “Did I give you permission to speak?” she snapped at him.

  He bowed his head and took a step back.

  Ris lifted her eyebrows at me, looking insanely excited, “Think I found myself a new boy toy. “

  “He’s hot. Nice pick, girl.”

  “Damnit,” she looked suddenly disappointed, “I want to see what’s about to happen with you three, but I’m also dying to get this one back to a room to see what he can do for me.”

  “Nothing’s happening with us three. They’re just squaring off.”

  “Oh, honey, that’s not squaring off. That looks like negotiation.”

  “It does, right?”

  “I would know better than anyone else,” she smirked knowingly, “Anyway, I need to play dom tonight and I’d better get going with this one before he changes his mind about me.”

  “Who would ever change their mind about you?”

  “Aw,” she leaned down to kiss me on the cheek, “You’re the sweetest. Have fun tonight,” she winked.

  I chuckled, “Yeah, you, too.”

  “Follow me,” she said to the guy behind her, and he did, like an obedient puppy on an invisible leash.

  They disappeared, heading off towards the Semi–Private Rooms. My eyes followed them as they walked away, but when I turned my attention back to where the boys had been sitting, they weren’t sitting there anymore. They were walking toward me. Vaughn in the lead, Law close behind.

  Shit.

  Fuck.

  What the holy hell are they doing?

  I leaned back in the barstool, feeling pushed backwards by the force of their heated presence rushing rapidly through the space between us, forcing me to shrink away from the pressure of it.

  Vaughn looked like he was going to attack me, which I was all for, but as soon as he was in reaching distance, he swooped around me. He grabbed my waist and swiveled me sideways on the stool, pressing his body, strong and hard, against my back. Then there was Law, suddenly and immediately in front of me and closing the distance.