Legion- She was high, but she meant it. She hated me.
LadyStoneheart23- I’m sure she didn’t. How did you get over that?
Legion- I didn’t.
LadyStoneheart23- Oh, God. I actually wish I could climb through my screen and hug you, and I hate hugging.
Legion- That’s not the worst memory either, just one I’ve never shared with anyone.
LadyStoneheart23- If you ever want to share some of the worst, I’m here. I’m no counsellor but I know what it’s like to keep shit bottled up. It’s not good.
Legion- I don’t think anyone is ready for that kind of darkness, least of all you, little warrior. We’re supposed to be focusing on building you up, not loading more onto your shoulders.
LadyStoneheart23- But it might help you heal.
Legion- Heal. I resigned myself to the fact that I’ll never heal a long time ago. I have scars on my body but it’s the ones inside, the scars that people don’t see, that hurt the worst. They’re the ones that’ll never heal. They’ll never go away. I’ve got a lot of those. I’m a lost cause. A tortured soul.
I felt my chest grow heavy with sadness, imagining some disfigured guy sat at a computer somewhere pouring his heart out to me. A guy who felt ugly inside and out. But it didn’t matter to me what he looked like. Beauty came in all different forms. For me, it came from inside. And right then, he was the most beautiful person because of what he was doing; trying to make me feel good about myself and being a warrior himself too.
LadyStoneheart23- I think you should wear your scars with pride. They’re your battle scars. Proof that you’re a survivor.
Legion- I had to survive a lot more than just my mother.
LadyStoneheart23- Oh?
Legion- And that is a conversation for another day.
LadyStoneheart23- Little steps.
Legion- Little steps indeed. You did good today. Smile. Hold your head high and fuck them all.
LadyStoneheart23- I’m glad you messaged me.
Legion- I’m glad I found you. Goodbye, little warrior.
I had a secret.
His name was Legion.
And slowly but surely, I could feel myself starting to open up to him; to the idea of him. He made me feel hopeful for a new day. Excited about when our next chat would be. And gave me butterflies just by reading or whispering his name.
He was my secret.
Just for me.
Only me.
I’d waited long enough.
I was tired of living in the shadows.
Every dog has its day and mine was about to get wild. I bloody loved it.
The police weren’t pursuing my case, and after a quick chat to Pat Murphy on the phone the night before, I was itching to get back. Pat said he could offer me fights, pay me really good money too. I wanted that. I missed the adrenaline rush and the high I got from boxing. Getting casual work on the building sites went someway to channelling my pent-up aggression, lifting the heavy bricks and shit, but it wasn’t enough. I needed that raw, electric buzz of energy. The shouts from the crowd. The feeling that nobody, not one fucker in this town had beaten me. Life might’ve kicked my ass when I was a kid, but now I was the one taking it by the balls and showing everyone who was boss.
I followed Ryan to the old waterworks across town. The place had been bought by a local building contractor and they’d already started cleaning out the place. Good job. The last time we were here, scoping it out for one of our parties, it smelt like shit, and anyone stepping their foot through the front door would’ve been knee deep in it too.
Not today though.
The floors had been cleared, plastered over, and there was stuff lying around; scaffolding and materials from the builders. The fencing around the place warned trespassers to stay out. There was danger on the premises. Advertising that was like waving a red rag in front of a bull for the likes of us.
Danger?
We lived for it.
I watched Ryan pick his way through the rubble, and tentatively, so as not to alert him to my presence, I followed him. When he came to the open warehouse area at the back of the works he stopped, and I heard him greet Finn and Zak like they were visiting dignitaries and he wanted to make a good impression. I should’ve known they’d be here. Well, at least my resurrection would be an epic one. Finn had got the prelude, now it was show time.
“The new flooring is gonna make it easier to set up in here,” Zak said, keenly looking around and probably picturing himself as the fucking king residing over proceedings from his decks.
Don’t get too comfortable, mate. I’m back now.
I couldn’t wait any longer. I stepped forward to make myself known and started to do a slow clap of my hands. All three of them spun around, and surprise, surprise, not one of them looked pleased to see me. Well, Finn looked slightly less pissed off, but he was still frowning.
“The fuck?” Ryan spat, crossing his arms over his chest and giving me an evil glare. He stood with his legs wide in a predatory stance, obviously feeling cocky and ready to face off.
Bring it on, fuckers.
“Pleased to see me?” I laughed. “You all look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“A ghost that should’ve stayed dead,” Ryan sneered and eyeballed me like a motherfucker. Didn’t he know that even in death I’d still wanna be heard? I was going nowhere.
“Ryan, let’s hear him out, okay?” Zak cut in, patting Ryan on the chest.
“Yeah, Ryan. Hear me out. Listen to your bitches.”
He didn’t like that, and I couldn’t give a fuck.
“Fuck you, Brandon,” Zak scowled at me like the bitch he was.
I laughed. I liked stirring shit up like this. I’d missed the banter. I held my hand up to my ear, pretending I was deaf to mock him. “Fuck me, was that? Or fuck me over? ‘Cos the three of you have been doing a really good job of that lately.”
Ryan charged forward, panting like a rabid dog. If they could, his nostrils would’ve been blazing fire.
“You fucked yourself over, mate.” He held his arms up like he was the fucking boss. “So, tell us, what are you doing here? It’s a bit of a coincidence that you’ve chosen today of all days to come back. Checking to see how your secret revenge plan is going, hey?”
I had no fucking idea what he was on about. What was special about today?
I didn’t take the bait though. This meeting was going to progress on my terms, not theirs.
“Mate, if I had a revenge plan for you three fuckers, you’d know about it. No secrets here. I’m as honest as shit about how much I fucking hate you and what you did to me. But as usual, I have no clue what you’re on about. Are you that scared of me you’re starting to make things up in your head now?”
I saw anger then exasperation wash over each of their faces, and it spurred me on to know I was getting to them.
“What we did to you? What exactly did we do to you?” Ryan narrowed his gaze at me. He was doing a really good job of looking like a clueless twat.
I ran my hand over my jaw and gave them my signature smile. The one that told them I didn’t take any shit.
“We had a fight over a girl. I can handle that. We lost our heads over a bit of pussy and we went crazy.” I shrugged like it was no big deal.
“You fucking cunt.” Ryan went to launch himself on me, but Zak and Finn held him back.
“That’s it, bitch. Let your guard dogs keep you in check.” I smirked, knowing I was driving him insane and loving every minute.
He pointed his finger at me, leaning over Zak’s shoulder as he shouted. “You call Emily a bit of pussy again and you’ll regret it.”
I pretended to look like I gave a damn, shaking my head and trying to stifle the grin that wanted to break free.
Maybe it was a low blow?
But he’d got a few blows of his own in the last time we went toe-to-toe. It was my turn for a bit of payback.
“I call a spade a spade.”
“Yeah
, and you’re a fucking knobhead,” Ryan said, spitting venom. “What do you want? Say your shit and get out of here. We’ve all been better off since you left.”
“Ry, that’s bullshit,” Zak interrupted. “Let’s at least hear what he’s got to say.”
Ryan yanked his arm out of Zak’s grip, giving him a dirty look. Then he took a step back and turned to face me.
“Go on then. Enlighten us. What are you here for?”
“You know what? I fucking hate you right now.” Not my best comeback but it was how I felt.
Ryan lifted his chin, acting all smug and defiant.
“Can’t say I like you all that much either.”
Good. The feeling was mutual.
“We fell out over Emily. That’s cool. I’m over it. But what I can’t get over is how you three fucked me over after. You.” I pointed at Ryan first. “We’ve been mates for years. You were like a fucking brother to me. I was closer to your family than I was to my own. Okay, so you’ve got your girl now. Fair play. But you couldn’t help yourself, could you? Rushing off the next morning to make your statements at the police station about the fight. You couldn’t wait to throw me under the fucking bus. Did it make you feel like a man? You’d hit me, told me what a worthless piece of shit I was, won the girl, and then off you went spilling your guts to the police about what a fuck up I was that night.”
His eyes went wide. He didn’t know I’d been watching them that morning. I knew more than I’d ever let on. Knowledge was power, after all.
“My statement was nothing like that,” he said, shaking with anger as he spoke. “I told them I hadn’t seen you. I also told them that I knew you better than anyone else and that I’d stake my life on it being an accident. I’d go to court and say that shit too. So, don’t come in here with your bullshit accusations and try and paint me out to be something that I’m not. Both me and Em stood by you. We always would. There’s nothing that we’ve done in these last few months to go against you. I don’t care what you think you’ve seen or what you think you know. I know the truth.” He banged his chest with his fist in confirmation. “And my conscience is clear, brother.”
I took a moment to collect my thoughts. There was stuff I still needed to get off my chest, and I was struggling to see things as clearly as I did before. Ryan’s little speech was fucking with my brain.
“And you,” I said, getting my shit together fast and turning to face Zak. “All you’ve done is strut around town with your over-gelled hair and your stupid grin. You couldn’t wait to get those parties started again, could you? You had the spotlight all to yourself. You liked that, didn’t you, mate? You didn’t have to vie for the attention anymore. No more crowds heading down to see me fight and leaving your shitty D.J. act so it’d flop like Lockwood’s limp dick. You could shine all on your own. When I was around, you didn’t stand a chance. I was who they came to see. I was the fucking event.”
“And we all miss having you around,” Zak replied, sounding humble. “So, I like a bit of attention.” He shrugged and grinned to himself. “But I never felt jealous when you got it too. You’re talking out of your arse, mate. If you came back now, we’d welcome you with open arms.”
“Would we?” Ryan said, cocking his eyebrow.
Zak turned to face him and frowned.
“Yeah, you know we would. Takings have been down since Brandon left.” Then he looked back at me. “We’d have you back and we’d have your back. We always have. I don’t know why you’re coming at us with all this shit. We’re the ones who should be mad.”
What the fuck was he on about now?
“And why should you be mad? Come on. I could do with a laugh.”
“Where do we start?” Ryan shook his head, grinning smugly to himself.
Finn had stayed pretty quiet so far, and I couldn’t tell if he was measuring us all up or he was scared to admit he’d already seen me.
“Start at the beginning, bro. I’ve got all day.”
I was the one to spread my arms out wide this time, showing Ryan that I was the boss around here, not him. I was ready for them to come at me and whine like little bitches about how I’d abandoned them. Bring it on.
“You pissed off without telling anyone where you were going.” Ryan started right where I knew he would. “You got into a fucking fight that’s been hanging over all our heads for the last few months. Cops have been grilling us. Following us everywhere to try and find you. But don’t worry about that. Don’t worry about fucking up our lives, as long as you’re okay, right?”
As long as I’m okay? He needed a fucking wake-up call.
“You think I’ve been okay since I left? You think it’s been easy for me? Do you think I liked watching you go about your business as if nothing fucking happened?”
I could feel the anger rising up again. I was ready to explode.
“Then why didn’t you reach out to us sooner? We’d have helped.” Finally, Finn had spoken.
I knew they were visiting my nan and I was thankful for that, but I wasn’t going to kid myself.
“You’d have ratted me out first chance you got.”
“We wouldn’t do that. You know you can trust us,” Finn replied, and from the contrite look on his face, I almost believed him.
“He can trust us, but can we trust him?” Ryan piped up.
“You can trust that I’ll knock you the fuck out if you’ve got the balls to come over here and say that again,” I snapped.
“Yeah? You daring me?” Ryan goaded like he was ready to throw down with me in this shithole.
“Woah. Hold on a minute. Let’s hear what he’s got to say about the text messages,” Zak said, playing referee again.
“What text messages?” I asked, looking each one of them in the face.
“The ones you sent us last night. We know it was you.”
Ryan pulled his phone out of his back pocket and started to read from it.
“We know what you’ve done. It’s payback time. We are coming for you.” He held his phone up and snarled at me. “What is this shit? Do you think this scares us?”
What the fuck?
“I didn’t send that.”
“Like fuck you didn’t.” Ryan stared straight at me, his accusation as clear as day. I didn’t take my eyes off him once when I answered.
“I didn’t.”
We stood silently for a few seconds, looking between each other. The only sound was the drip drip of the pipes above and our heavy breathing.
“If he said he didn’t send it, I believe him,” Finn said, breaking the silence.
“Me too,” Zak added.
“Well, if he didn’t send it, who did?” Ryan pocketed his phone and gave the others a pointed stare. Something was going on and I wanted to know what it was. I hated being left out of the loop.
“Let me get this straight. You got a text message last night-”
“We all did,” Ryan butted in.
“And you think it was me? Mate, I didn’t send shit to you. Honestly. On my nan’s life. And I wouldn’t fucking swear on her life for just anyone, but I will. For you. I. Didn’t. Send it.”
“Okay.” Ryan threw his head back and let out a groan. “Looks like we’ve got more shit to deal with than we thought.”
“Why the fuck are you letting a bloody text message get to you? Block the number. It’s not hard. Who gets spooked over a text? It’s probably kids messing about. Have you lost your balls since I left as well as your street cred?”
“We haven’t lost anything, and we’re taking it fucking seriously because what we did was some serious shit. Do you have any idea who those people were that we pissed off when we exposed Winters? We’re playing with the big boys now. This isn’t a fucking joke.” Ryan always did take everything to heart. He needed the likes of me around to keep him grounded.
“If they’re that hell bent on getting to us, a text message should be the least of your worries. It’s a threat, but it’s a weak one. A coward’s way of doi
ng business.”
“Us?” Ryan scoffed. “You make it sound like you’re on our side.” Ryan crossed his arms over his chest, flexing his muscles as he did. He should know by now, that didn’t scare me.
“It could be the Lockwoods? They’re the biggest cowards around here.” Finn suggested. “Maybe they found out Zak was snooping after what you and Emily said about them dropping the case and threatening Harper.”
“Come again? They threatened her?” Heat coursed through me and I clenched my fists. My rage levels were spiking again. Even hearing her name made me feral.
“Don’t.” Ryan went back to wagging his finger at me like a high school teacher. “Leave her out of this. That girl has been through enough.”
I squared my shoulders and took a step towards him.
“If I want to talk about her, I will.”
Ryan sneered over at me.
“You can’t even say her name out loud, can you? Feeling guilty?”
Like I’d ever admit that to him. I couldn’t even admit it to myself.
“I’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.”
“You had a fight with her brother. He died. Okay, so he didn’t die solely because of your punches, but they fucking helped.” Ryan was flying a little too close to the wind on this one.
“It’s bare-knuckle boxing. What did he expect? Could happen to me one day,” I said, not giving a fuck.
Ryan shook his head in disgust at my response.
“Are you still gonna fight?” Finn asked me, steering the conversation away from Harper.
“Pat has fights lined up for me. The pay’s pretty good too.”
Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland Book 2) Page 12
