Ryan gave a low chuckle then stopped and glared at me.
“So, you’re coming back. Are you gonna just rock up to Sandland like nothing’s happened? Leave it to us to break the news to Harper? That girl’s sanity is hanging by a thread as it is.”
“Don’t fucking say her name!” I shouted.
“Why? ‘Cos you can’t handle it? Can’t take the blowback, mate?”
I was seconds away from reminding Ryan why I was the undefeated fucking champion in our town.
“No,” I hissed through my clenched jaw. ‘Cos she isn’t yours to talk about. So shut your fucking mouth.”
“What?” Ryan glared at me and gave a fake laugh, but Finn cut him off.
“You’d fight for Pat and not us?”
“Why would I fight for you?”
“I don’t know. Because we’re friends? We stick together. Ryan might be pissed, but if you want to settle your differences with your fists, I’m sure he’ll get over it after.” Finn did have a point.
“I don’t need to fight him. I have an important meeting with the college tomorrow. It won’t look good if I rock up with a face covered in bruises,” Ryan replied.
“College?” Had I heard him right?
“Yeah. I’m doing a business and accountancy course. Hoping it helps to grow the kit car business,” Ryan said, suddenly losing the bravado and talking to me like he used to.
“Cool. I’m happy for you.”
And just like that, the atmosphere started to shift.
You see, that’s what we did. We fought like brothers. Said shit that most people wouldn’t and then we took a step back. I took that step back and realised that the guys standing in front of me were the only family I had. I’d been pissed at them, but if I was honest with myself, I knew they’d done their best given the circumstances. Could they have done more? Probably. But then I wasn’t always easy to deal with. I knew that.
“If I come back, would you let me fight again?” I asked, knowing what Zak and Finn’s answers would be, but it was Ryan I wanted a response from.
“Yeah. That’s what we want,” Finn said.
“I’ll miss the limelight.” Zak smirked. “But yeah. The fights were our unique selling point. Anyone can put on a party.”
“Not like us they can’t,” Ryan stated proudly.
“Whatever. But no one can put on a show like Brandon. Those fights were the shit.”
Yes, Zak. Yes, they were.
“Well, that’s two votes,” I said, folding my arms and standing tall. “Am I going to have to veto you, Ry, or am I back in?”
He took a deep breath and stared me down.
“We want honesty.”
“Yeah,” I shrugged and then nodded in agreement.
“No bullshit,” he added.
“Cool,” I replied, trying not to smirk or look smug. I knew this was a big step for Ry. It was for me too, and I didn’t want to jeopardise this truce we were slowly building.
“And you leave Emily and Harper alone.”
He said it as a statement, not a question. I could’ve guessed that’d be Ryan’s last deal-breaker.
“I don’t want to upset your missus,” I answered honestly.
See, I was abiding by his rules already.
“Looks like the crew is back in action again then,” Ryan declared, and the other two smiled.
I put my arm out to shake Ryan’s hand and he took it. We’d made progress. It wasn’t at all what I’d expected when I came in here. In reality, it was better. I’d thought I was entering a warzone. I’d braced myself for battle. But the cold war was thawing already. Blood might run thicker than water, but our brotherhood ran stronger than anything. The Renaissance men were a team. A team I was proud of. And now we were getting back on track. We could go back to being unstoppable.
“You’d better prepare your statement for the police though,” Ryan added. “They might’ve dropped the case, but they’ll still want to haul you in.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I’ve got plenty to say to them.”
“I don’t think we want to know,” Zak said, smiling. “We’ve missed you, man.”
He walked over to me and gave me a hug, patting my back as he did.
Finn grinned.
And Ryan?
He muttered something about telling Emily before anyone else found out I was back.
That’s right, motherfuckers.
Brandon Mathers was back.
But I hadn’t forgotten why I left. There were still a lot of people on my ever-growing shit list, and not everyone was going to be hanging the flags out when I returned. I’d find out who sent those texts. I’d find out what the Lockwoods were up to too.
And Harper?
That was unfinished business I would take great pleasure in wrapping up.
“Harper, love. There’s someone here to see you.”
Mum walked into the living room and I muted the television, having absolutely no idea who’d be visiting me at home.
Then Emily Winters appeared, craning her neck from behind Mum’s back to greet me and give me a shy smile.
“Hey. I hope you don’t mind me dropping by unannounced like this.”
“Of course she doesn’t,” Mum answered for me. “Emily, would you like a tea or coffee? Or a cold drink, perhaps?”
“A tea would be lovely. Milk, no sugar. Thank you, Mrs Yates.” Emily sure was good at talking to parents. She already had my mum eating out of the palm of her hands.
“Call me Tanya,” Mum said over-enthusiastically, batting her eyelids and grinning down at Emily like she was the second coming.
She scuttled off to the kitchen and Emily sat down on the sofa a little way down from where I was. From the way she was fidgeting I guessed this wasn’t a social call.
“How have you been?” she asked as she wrung her hands in her lap. She seemed nervous. That didn’t bode well as far as I was concerned.
“I’m okay. Today is… bearable. Just.” I smiled, hoping I sounded jovial and trying to put her at ease. It didn’t work. She just nodded and stared at the muted T.V. screen.
“I’ve heard they set a date for your dad’s trial. That sucks,” I added. A pretty lame attempt at a conversation, but it was something.
“Yeah. I’m not sure I’ll be going to the court unless I have to. Kind of want to avoid the press and all that crap.”
Now it was my turn to nod and stare absent-mindedly. Should I put the T.V. volume back up or would that be too rude?
“I tried that website you recommended,” I said, in a desperate bid to fill in the awkward silence.
“Yeah? What did you think?” She brightened up a little and swivelled in her seat to face me. You’d think I’d just given her the best news she’d heard all day.
“It’s not at all what I thought it would be. It actually makes me laugh.”
“I felt the same. Some days the chat would go darker, but there was always someone in there to lighten the mood. Does Alan still go in there?” She smirked, and I could tell she probably had a few Alan anecdotes to share from her own visits to the forum.
“Fucking Alan? Yeah. He’s a one-off, isn’t he?”
“That’s putting it politely.”
We both laughed nervously.
“Do you ever go in there now?” I hoped she didn’t. I didn’t want to share this with anyone else. I liked having it all to myself. My secret haven. The thought of Legion chatting with her made me uncomfortable.
“No. Not anymore. But it helped me at a time when all I was capable of was talking online. I liked the anonymity.”
I felt a little lighter hearing that.
“Me too,” I admitted.
Mum strolled back in with a tray loaded up with mugs of tea. She’d also added some Kit-Kats and Chocolate Mini Rolls.
“Help yourselves, girls,” she said and took her own mug off the tray then left us to it.
“Your mum is lovely. If we were at my house it’d be china cups, plates of biscuits, and don’t sl
ouch while you’re sitting on the sofa, dear. I love a Mini Roll.” Emily leant forward to grab one off the tray. Then she sipped her tea and started to peel the wrapper off.
“It’s lovely to see you, and thanks for thinking of me, but I’ve got a feeling there’s something you want to tell me and you’re stalling,” I said, as Emily averted her eyes and shoved more chocolate into her mouth to give her some thinking time.
“Well, I was thinking of coming to see you. You know, to check on how you are. But you’re right, there is something I need to let you know about. I wanted to tell you before you heard this from anyone else.”
I put my mug down and sat forward.
“Spill it. What’s going on?”
Emily took a deep breath and fixed her eyes on me as she spoke.
“He’s back.”
She didn’t need to say who he was. I knew. And hearing her say he was back made the bottom of my stomach drop out and a wave of nausea engulf me. I started to shake, as if he was going to walk through the door at any minute. It was crazy because, in my mind, when he’d invaded my thoughts, my privacy, and my fucking home, I’d wanted him to come out and face me. I wanted to stand in front of him and give him both barrels. Destroy him with the force of my anger. But hearing he was back, actually living and breathing, walking around Sandland like Brodie never existed, that bothered me. I didn’t want to see him, not really. I didn’t know what I’d do if and when I did. Was he laughing about us? Did he think this was all a big fucking joke?
“Have you seen him?” I asked.
“No. Not yet. But Ryan has and he said he’s pissed but he wants his life back.”
“He wants his life back.” I shook my head, exasperated at what she’d just told me. “He’s lucky he has a life to come back to. My brother doesn’t. Neither do I most days.”
“Oh, Harper. I’m so sorry.” Emily scooched down the sofa to sit right next to me and take my hand in hers. “If it’s any consolation, Ryan told him he has to stay away from you. He warned him. You are off-limits. It was part of their agreement for his return.”
I knew that was bullshit. If Mathers wanted to get to me, he would. No one told Brandon Mathers what to do.
“It’s fine. Well, it’s not, but I’ll survive.” I slipped my hand out of hers and sipped my tea, but it hurt to swallow with the golf ball of anxiety in my throat.
“Ryan said he can tell he’s full of guilt. For you, I mean. He feels guilty about what happened.”
“And he should be.”
“I know. I just don’t want you to think he’s waltzing around town with that swagger of his and giving it the big I am. He isn’t the same. That’s what Ry said, anyway.” She shrugged. “And there’s one other thing you should know. He’s going back to fighting.”
I never expected he’d stop. That man was a walking weapon of mass destruction and his fists were locked and loaded. I felt sorry for the next sucker who ended up in the ring with him.
“He hasn’t learnt his lesson then.”
“Nope.”
“It’s all about the money and the notoriety with him, isn’t it?” The guy’s bravado would always overshadow any guilt he might be putting out there. In fact, I reckoned the guilt was all for show. Something he felt he had to do to be accepted back into the fold of his little fucked-up crew. Once the gossip died down, he wouldn’t show an ounce of remorse, only swagger.
“Actually, that isn’t why he fights, but it’s not my place to talk about that.” Emily blushed and went back to fidgeting again, wringing her hands in her lap and biting her lip.
I should’ve known Emily would be on his side, keeping his secrets, and trying to defend him. I wanted to challenge her on it, but I didn’t have the energy. She’d think whatever the fuck she wanted to. It didn’t matter what I had to say.
“I don’t care anymore.” I sighed. “He can take all the hits he wants, as far as I’m concerned. That man is dead to me. I don’t ever want to see him. I hate him and everything he stands for.”
Emily hummed out some weak form of agreement and we sat there, finishing our tea in silent contemplation. Eventually, Emily piped up first.
“If you want to get that first meeting over with, there’s a party next week at the waterworks. Brandon’s doing his first fight there. You should come.”
“Why would I want to meet him? Why would I put myself through that?” I couldn’t believe they were laying the bloody red carpet out for him like that. Making his return something to talk about. He left for a reason. He didn’t deserve any recognition for his comeback. I certainly wasn’t going to be there to see all that fake fanfare.
“I just thought it might be better on your terms. You wouldn’t have to go up to him or speak to him. But maybe seeing him in a crowded room might help fight some of those demons you’re wrestling.”
Like it was that easy to get rid of my demons. The devil appeared in many forms, and in Sandland, his face was one of them. Why would I purposely put myself through that?
“I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather avoid him completely. Thanks though.”
I thought that’d be the end of it, but she wasn’t giving up easily.
“I hear what you’re saying, but you won’t be able to avoid him forever. Sandland’s a small town.”
Just watch me.
“You’re talking like he has some effect on my life. He doesn’t. He wasn’t a part of my life before it all happened and he isn’t now. I’d rather forget he exists.”
I was lying, of course. Brandon Mathers consumed ninety-nine percent of my thoughts. Actually, since chatting with Legion, it was probably slightly less, but still, he was dominating my life. Forgetting he existed would be like forgetting to breathe.
After a while, Emily stood up to leave. She’d achieved what she came to do; she’d told me about his return. But she seemed disappointed that I didn’t see him the way she did. She obviously had empathy for whatever it was that made him tick. I just saw that tick as a time-bomb ready to go off and destroy everything that I loved now he was back.
I followed her out of the living room and down the hallway.
“I’ll send you details of the party, in case you change your mind,” she said, opening the front door.
“I won’t change my mind,” I answered firmly, but Emily wasn’t listening. She was cooing over something on the front step.
“Oh my God, these are beautiful. There’s no card though. Are they for you or your mum?” She leant down to pick something up, and when she straightened up and turned to face me, I saw them. A bouquet of white roses wrapped in cellophane. No note. No RIP message. Just the flowers this time. But I knew who they were from. This was his ‘I’m back’ message.
Emily placed them in my arms, and like a dumb fool, I stood there and took them without saying a word.
“Looks like someone has an admirer.” She winked and then waved her goodbyes as she left.
I watched her get into her car and drive off, then I looked around. I knew he was there somewhere, watching me. I could feel him. He wanted to see how I’d react to the news that he’d returned. How I’d respond to his flowers. They were beautiful; Emily was right. But I didn’t want them in my house. They were his sick way of reminding me what I’d lost. Him trying to control and frighten me.
I walked over to the side of the house, opened the lid of the bin, and dropped them in. They belonged in the trash, and so did he. I grinned, looking down at them, knowing they would die in that dark, filthy box. A fitting end for something beautiful that he’d touched. He tainted everything.
Satisfied that I’d given him the show he’d come to watch, I turned and marched back into the house. When I shut the door, I leant my back against it and squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t know how much longer I could hold it all together. I felt like the pressure gauge in my head was building again and I needed a release.
LadyStoneheart23 has joined the chat.
EmoGirl- I don’t know if they were his favo
urite flowers, but I left them on his grave. It’s the first time I’ve been there.
JoeNotExotic- That’s a big step for you, Emo. I’m proud of you, hun. I know you don’t really have much to do with that side of your family.
EmoGirl- It’s not through choice, Joe. I don’t know them. They don’t know me. I should make more of an effort, I suppose. It’s not like I have a lot of family around me at the moment. I could do with a bit of extra support sometimes.
JoeNotExotic- Take it at your pace, babe. At the end of the day, if they wanted you in their lives, they’d be there for you. I’ll always be there for you.
Fucking_Alan- Is it wrong that I wanna sing the ‘Friends’ theme tune now?
JoeNotExotic- Alan, we’d expect nothing less.
EmoGirl- I need cheering up, Al. Tell me about the worst date you’ve ever been on.
JoeNotExotic- I think we’ve heard about them all already.
Fucking_Alan- There’s always more, my friend. I am a veritable Wikipedia of dating don’ts. Okay, which one do I go with?
I’ve got it…
It’s gotta be the notorious Felicity.
She turned up at the bar steaming drunk. It was six o’clock and this girl was paralytic. So wasted she could barely stand up. I asked her why she’d had a drink before she came out and she told me she was nervous…
Tommytank- Had to get shit-faced just to date you, hey, Alan?
Fucking_Alan- Lol, Tom. No. She said she’d liked me for ages and she needed a little something to calm her nerves. Two minutes later, she threw up in her handbag and then lurched forward and tried to kiss me. Grossest kiss I’ve ever dodged. Pure filth.
EmoGirl- OMG.
Fucking_Alan- That’s not even the punch line, Emo. Turns out she had her two kids in the beer garden waiting on us. I didn’t even know she had kids. Don’t get me wrong, I’d happily date a MILF. But one who shows up comatose with her kids at the pub? Nah. I’ll pass.
Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland Book 2) Page 13
