Tortured Souls (Rebels of Sandland Book 2)

by Nikki J Summers

  She narrowed her eyes at me in disgust.

  “Thank you? Are you joking? I curse the day you were ever born. I’m not thankful, glad, or in any way pleased to see you reappear out of the shadows you’ve been lurking in. I hate you.”

  Her pretty little face was all screwed up as she spoke, making her look even hotter. Defiant Harper was a turn-on, but feisty Harper might just be my favourite.

  “Not really liking myself much at the moment either,” I said, going for the humble approach. See, I could be humble when I tried, and I really wanted to try with her.

  “Good. So leave. Why are you back here? No one wants you here.”

  Like I’d ever leave her now.

  “It’s my home. I belong here.” I took a step closer to her and she took a step back. It made me smile. I liked that I affected her.

  “Thanks for the flowers, by the way.” She stared straight in my eyes and made my stomach flip.

  What was up with that?

  I hadn’t felt that before.

  “Did you bother to leave any for my brother? You know, at his graveside.”

  “I really don’t think now is the right time for us to talk about what happened that night, do you?” I didn’t want to get into a fight with her. Not when I couldn’t take my eyes off her mouth and my mind out of the gutter.

  “Why? You’ve dodged it for months. Is it still raw for you? Do you find it hard facing up to what a monster you are? Because that’s what you are. A monster.”

  Oh baby, you have no idea.

  “You’re hurt. You need to get some ice on that cheek,” I said, pointing to her face and forcing the conversation down a route I could cope with.

  “Don’t pretend you care. You’ve destroyed my life, you’ve persecuted me for your own sick thrills, and now what? You’re going to stalk my every move until you push me over the edge?”

  She thought she was goading me. But every word out of her mouth was doing the opposite. This angry talk fucking turned me on, and I needed to put a stop to it, now.

  “I’m here to get my life back.”

  She scoffed at my response. Little did she know that by me getting my life back, I was trying to give her hers back too. I wanted her to accept what had happened, move on, and become stronger, because of me. I wanted to have that power over her, but right then, she was the one holding all the power.

  Why couldn’t I stop shaking and sweating?

  “And you couldn’t do that somewhere else? Away from me and my family? You just had to come back here.”

  “My family is here too,” I snapped.

  “You have no family. What did you think you’d achieve by coming back here? No one wants you.”

  That hurt. But I swallowed my initial response down and took a breath to gather my senses.

  “I’m not looking for your forgiveness.”

  “Good, because you’ll never have it.” She gritted her teeth, standing taller.

  “What happened wasn’t right. I know that.”

  This was the closest thing she was ever going to get to an apology. I surprised myself at the words coming out of my mouth.

  “It wasn’t right,” she said with a fake laugh. “Which part? The part where you hit my brother and killed him? Or the part where you’ve tried to drive me insane?”

  “I wanted to help you,” I blurted out. My brain was shutting down and my fighter instinct was starting to take over.

  “Help me? By leaving me flowers and threats? How does that help me?”

  “I gave you fire in your belly, didn’t I? A reason to fight back. I stopped you from wailing on the floor like a broken, weak mess. You had a purpose, a reason to get out of fucking bed every day because of me.”

  “I never wanted to fight! I hate fighting! I hate what it does to people; what it did to my family and to Brodie. How can you stand there and make out that you did me a favour? Is that your way of justifying yourself? Does that help you sleep at night? To know you broke me?”

  The sadness in her eyes damn near destroyed me. I wanted to reach out and touch her; take that pain away.

  “I made you the little warrior you are. Don’t ever forget that. You are a fucking warrior. You’re not broken. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”

  Her eyes went wide and mine did too when I realised what I’d said.

  “What did you call me?”

  The panic on her face made me want to rewind. Go back in time and make everything different. Even when I tried to do something to help her, I fucked it up.

  “Little warrior. I called you my little warrior.”

  She leant forward and grabbed her stomach, covering her mouth as she cried into her palm. I went to touch her, let her know it was okay, but she jolted away from me like I’d got the fucking plague.

  “Oh my God. Please no. Please, tell me it wasn’t you.”

  I didn’t know what to say. When I’d got Kian to hack into her laptop, I only ever wanted to see what she was doing; maybe get more dirt on the Lockwoods. I hadn’t expected to find my little warrior on there. To feel something I’d never felt before for any other human being. Despite what I’d said earlier, she was broken, and so was I. But together we’d gone some way to fixing each other, hadn’t we? Or was I so totally clueless that I’d read it all wrong. I wasn’t the best at putting my feelings out there, but with her, online, I’d told her things I’d never told anyone else. I’d been myself. Now, she knew it was me. I was Legion, and she didn’t like what she saw. It was Emily fucking Winters all over again. I just had to face facts. Girls like her were never meant to be with boys like me. And boys like me never did get the happy ever after.

  I knew after this it was all going to crumble at my feet. But I stood firm and answered her truthfully.

  “It was me, and I’d do it all again. I said the things you needed to hear. Well, I typed them, anyway.”

  She pushed past me, not ready to hear anymore, and ran down the alleyway. But this wasn’t over. There were so many things I still needed to say. Things she needed to hear. She thought I was her enemy, but I wasn’t. If anyone was on her side, it was me. I wanted my little phoenix to rise from the flames, even if she burned me to the ground doing it.

  So, I followed her. She could try and avoid me all she wanted, but I wasn’t going to be ignored. We’d ripped a band aid off just now, but the wound still needed cleaning and there was no time like the present.

  I trailed her back to her house. I was going to catch her up in the street, but I figured she’d feel more comfortable talking to me if she was in her own home. Not that I expected her to let me in, but I could hope.

  She charged through her front door then slammed it shut. I ran up the steps and knocked, expecting her to fling it back open. But it wasn’t Harper who answered, it was her dad.

  “Can I help you?” he asked, eyeing me up like I was about to rob the place. Shame he didn’t have the same vigilance when it came to locking up at night.

  “I need to talk to Harper.” I stood my ground and stared straight back at him.

  “And you are?”

  Fuck. He didn’t know who I was. If I told him, this could go downhill very fucking fast.

  “He’s someone who needs to leave,” Harper stated, appearing behind her dad and glaring at me with disdain.

  Her dad looked between the two of us and his nostrils flared as he put two and two together and came up with five.

  “Did you do that?” He pointed at the red mark on her cheek. “Did you hurt my daughter? Because if you did, you can try going up against me next. You might not be so lucky though.”

  I fought back the smirk that wanted to break free at the thought of this overweight forty-something trying his luck in a fight with me. Instead, I lifted my chin and told him, “No, sir. That would be the work of another one of her friends.”

  He turned to give Harper a questioning look, but she avoided his gaze and kept her glare on me. If looks could kill, I’d be kicking back in hel
l with the best of them right now.

  “Its fine, Dad. I’ll get rid of him.”

  He turned back to me and gave me a threatening look as he said, “I don’t want any trouble.”

  “You won’t get any trouble from me, sir.”

  He nodded but didn’t look convinced.

  “Well, at least you have some manners.” He looked me up and down. “Maybe appearances are deceiving, after all.”

  Story of my life. But then again, I didn’t have the best track record and most of the time my appearance was in alignment with my intentions; in your face and ready for violence. But not with her. Never with her.

  Her dad left us, and she came to stand on the porch with me, closing the front door so no one would hear us. She wrapped her arms around herself like she was trying to form a protective barrier from me or whatever I might say.

  “Why have you followed me here?” she asked. “Haven’t you done enough?”

  “I’m not leaving it like that,” I said, taking a step towards her.

  “Like what? Me feeling totally betrayed, embarrassed, and violated yet again. I don’t have anything to say to you.” She shook her head, and from the glisten in her eyes I could tell she was close to tears.

  “Well, I’ve got a lot to say to you. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about anything. And how exactly did I violate you?” I didn’t like being painted as some kind of pervert. That was Lockwood’s domain. I’d never forced her into any of our chats. Okay, so she didn’t know who I was, but now that she did, surely she could see I wasn’t all bad?

  “You broke into my house, Brandon. You watched me from my garden and stalked me online. Fuck. I don’t even want to think about what I said to you.”

  All true and I’d own it.

  “I don’t regret any of it.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to.” She huffed and then peered up at me, and I could tell from her face she wanted to hurt me with the next words out of her mouth. “You’d have to have a conscience to feel remorse. You don’t have that. You’re soulless.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. A few months ago, I’d have told them to dig a hole for me next to her brother, because I was as dead inside as he was. But that was then. Now, I’d had a spark ignited inside me and a fire burned just for her. Only a fool would walk away from something like this and I was no fool.

  “Maybe I was soulless back then. But since I met you, I haven’t felt the darkness dragging me under quite as much as it used to. Since I got to know you, life’s been… interesting.”

  I felt proud of that speech. I’d really put myself out there. But when she grimaced at me, I realised it still wasn’t enough.

  “You don’t know me, Brandon. You’ve watched me and we’ve had a few random conversations online.”

  I couldn’t understand her. How could she say I didn’t know her when we’d shared parts of ourselves in that chatroom? I’d seen her at her worst, and I was still fighting for her. I’d fought for her more than any of her friends had. What else did she want from me?

  “You know more about me than anyone else in my life right now,” I told her. I felt so confused. I didn’t know what else to say to make this right.

  Her eyes drifted to my stomach, where the scars were now well hidden by my tattoos.

  “You tricked me.”

  “I tried to save you.”

  “You were the one who broke me.” She fisted her hands in her hair and gave a little growl. “You broke me, Brandon. I’m this fucked up mess because of you.”

  “Was it all me though? I mean fuck, Harper. In all this, doesn’t Brodie get to take some of the responsibility too? Did I force him into that ring? Shit. It was an accident, okay? I didn’t want it to happen. I didn’t want any of this.”

  She clenched her eyes shut and took a deep breath.

  “I don’t even know what I think anymore. I can’t remember the night that well. It’s all just a blur; a series of snapshots of the horror that’s my life now. But you don’t get to tell me how to feel about any of it.” She stabbed her chest as she talked, and I could see that the defiant little warrior was back.

  “I’m not trying to tell you how to feel, but I’m not the devil you’ve been painting me out to be.”

  I didn’t want her to hate me. Not really. But I didn’t know what to do to change it. I thought knowing I was Legion would make her see me in a different light, but it did the opposite.

  “Oh, you’re just a born-again saint, aren’t you? So, all the stalking, the flowers, and messages, that’s the actions of a sane and guilt-free person, is it? I don’t know what fucking planet you’re on, but in my world it’s not okay to do that. You scared me. You made me feel like I was going insane.”

  “I made you feel alive again,” I said through gritted teeth. I felt agitated that she wasn’t getting this.

  “So fucking what? How can I be alive if I’m scared to leave my house?”

  “I’d never hurt you. Not like he just did. It’s your friends who’re your enemies, not me.”

  I was losing control. Losing the grip on this exchange with every word that came out of my mouth.

  “There’s more than one way to hurt someone, Brandon. You did it in the worst way, without ever using your fists. You hurt me in here.” She thumped her chest and then she tapped the side of her head. “And in here. That shit does more damage than anything. You knew what you were doing, but you did it anyway. You didn’t care.”

  “I did… I do care. Please, Harper. Try and let me explain. I know I sound fucked-up, but I only did what I did to get closer to you. I wanted to help heal you.”

  She shook her head and backed away from me, putting her hand on the door handle to show she was almost done with this conversation.

  “You’re really good at pushing yourself forward, aren’t you? Making yourself heard. But you don’t listen.”

  I had no idea what that meant.

  “Then tell me. I’m listening now.”

  “I don’t want you here. I don’t want you following me or leaving me anything in my garden, kitchen, or anywhere else. That chatroom… it was a lifeline for me. You’ve destroyed that.”

  I was her fucking lifeline, not the bloody chatroom. Didn’t she realise that?

  “We can still go on there,” I said, trying to make her see that it wasn’t all totally lost. “If that’s the way you want to talk to me for a bit, then we can use that.”

  “We’re not friends, Brandon. I don’t want to talk to you. Not in real life and certainly not in that chatroom.” She sighed. “You might be listening, but you aren’t hearing what I’m saying. I don’t want you in my life. You’re the reason my life is the shit heap it is. The only thing you can do to make that better is disappear.”

  She may as well have stuck a knife in me with those words. The last thing I wanted to do was disappear. It was never going to happen.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I said defiantly.

  “Then maybe I will.”

  I froze. She wouldn’t leave Sandland, would she?

  “You’d leave here because of me?” I couldn’t explain why, but there was a lump forming in my throat, making it difficult to speak.

  “Anywhere would be better than being here watching you act like nothing ever happened.”

  Whatever I did next, I had to make sure she didn’t leave. I needed to say the right thing. Whatever that was.

  “Fine. You want space? I’ll give you some space.”

  “I don’t want space. I want to be left alone.”

  I bit my tongue, knowing whatever response I gave would hurt one of us. Instead, I took my own step back and in a low voice I told her, “This isn’t over.”

  “It is,” she replied, opening her door and slamming it shut behind her.

  I stalked down the driveway feeling like my heart was being twisted and contorted in my chest. I was close to breaking point. I didn’t want to walk away from her, and I couldn’t give her fucking space; I didn
’t even know how. I was so wound up I needed to offload. I knew Finn would be fucking useless. His experience with women was zero to none and he wasn’t the chattiest fucker. Zak would give me some flowery bullshit, and despite his proven record of success with women, I doubted he’d know what to do with a girl like Harper. No, I needed a dose of brutal reality from my best friend who’d always give it to me straight. So, I headed to Ryan’s garage. I knew he’d know what I should do next, because me? I didn’t have a fucking clue.

  “There he is! Where’ve you been hiding then, son?” Sean walked over to me, grinning and holding out his arms for a fatherly hug when he saw me coming across the forecourt of the garage.

  “Just took a bit of time away, Sean. But I’m back now.”

  He held me tightly, giving me a proper hug to show he’d missed me. Then as he pulled away, he patted my arm.

  “It’s good to have you back. Don’t leave it so long next time, okay? You’re a part of this family, Brandon. We’ve missed having you at our table.”

  “I’ve gotta admit, I’ve missed Connor’s Sunday roasts.” I joked. I’d missed the family more.

  “There’ll be a plate with your name on it this weekend, lad. I’ll tell him to do extra Yorkshire puddings, just for you.” He rubbed his hands together. This man knew the quickest way to my heart.

  “It’s a date. Is Ryan in the office?” I asked, pointing towards the building.

  “No, it’s his day off. He’s in the house,” he replied, nodding over to his home next door. “You might want to knock first though. He’s with Emily.” He winked and then laughed as he sauntered off back to his workshop.

  I hadn’t seen Emily since that night. I suppose now was as good a time as any to get that meeting over with.

  I didn’t bother with the front door, I never had. Instead, I opened the side-gate and walked into the garden and then gave a little knock at the back door. I saw Ryan walk through into the kitchen, and when he saw me his face dropped, then he righted himself and waved me in.

  “It’s already open, mate. Come in.”